A loss for words. Have you ever experienced it?
Someone says something that is either so cool, so insane, so stupid, or so beyond what you were expecting that your words vanish in an instant. How do you handle that? How do you move forward?
I worked as a camp counselor for young kids a couple years ago and one day one of their dads came in to show off his rather impressive fossil collection. Well this infuriated one of the other counselors because, in her words, 'he was lying to those kids and damning them to hell.'
Support?! How About NO
"Babe, you know how much I love you so don't be mad but I've been sleeping with your cousin for a while and we are in love and I'm gonna need you to support me on this. Also, if her husband calls, tell him she is with you."
Needless to say the speechless portion didn't last too long.
Eww, But Thanks
We were in a grocery store, starting to head down an aisle, when a man stopped us and said:
"I'd recommend avoiding this aisle - my wife just cut a wicked fart." His candor left us speechless.
Sure enough, even in the next aisle, we could smell it wafting in our direction.
Actually We Do?
Me: "...and just a heads up, we close at 5pm today."
Customer: "No you don't."
No Longer Friends, Byebye
I was talking to someone about something unimportant and I jokingly said to my friend, what could you possibly hate about me? Well, she goes on this long rant saying that I'm over dramatic, hypocritical, arrogant, and a political stereotype. I don't even know what she meant with half of the things she was saying; she said I was a hypocrite for not liking anime.
"He (me) was an accident and (my dad) did not want to have kids, I was not going to get an abortion, so we got divorced."
Something like that. I was 10. She always told me that they got married too young and wanted different things out of life. Don't eavesdrop on your mom's conversations with her friends drinking wine. Explains why my dad blows me off most of his weekends and when I'm there, I'm just kinda there and he ignores me.
Education Of Treatment
"You teach people how to treat you"
Mine blowing moment of realization that if I continued to say I suck and that no one should trust me with things, they will start to believe me and treat me as such.
Hey, I Don't Know You
A friend and I were in a store buying mannequins for our thrifting business. The guy who owns the store pointed to a specific mannequin and said:
'This one has great t*ts. Not like my sister in law's. She breastfed her baby and one day she whipped them out to feed him and they looked like fried eggs. RUINED FOREVER. My wife is in her 70's and she has perky little t*ts because she didn't breastfeed our kids"
Then he went on to tell us how his daughter breastfeeds and how great it is for babies. Wtf. We had known this guy all of 30 seconds before he unloaded this breastfeeding PSA on us 😳
This Is Called "Racism," Folks
Was at a small, icky dinner that's gone now. Two older couples were at the next booth over, talking about how one couple was trying to sell their house. They were complaining that no one would want to buy it, since a black family moved in next door. The other guy said "it's simple, when you're walking in the yard with potential buyers and you see the neighbor, ask him how the flowers are coming along this year. They'll just assume he's the gardener!"
And That's When We Block You
I used to have a friend with whom I had a three hour long discussion about physics related questions which he asked me. The questions all revolved around gravity in some way. At first, I thought he was genuinly interested in this topic. After 2.5 hours, I suddenly found myself googling papers that discussed gravitational waves and stuff like that (goes waaaaay over my head). So by then I got suspicious and asked him that if he wasn't willing to accept my answer, what would he think the answer is then?