People Break Down The Stupidest Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay |
Every so often you'll encounter someone who says something so foolish, so idiotic, so ridiculous, that you just have to go tell everyone on the internet about it.
These are those stories. Be warned: Stupidity occurs.
Reddit user, u/AnimeMangaGod, wanted to know:
What is the stupidest thing someone has ever said to you?
Off To A Hot Start
bart simpson egypt GIF GiphyApparently, China and Russia are using the pyramids to spy on America. When I asked how, they told me that they snuck giant disks into the pyramids and when nobody is watching the pyramids open up to stick the disks out. People were actually agreeing with this guy.
Electronics =/= Gas
My brother to me in the car on our way to high school.
Me: turns on radio
Bro: turns off radio
Me: what are you doing?
Bro: its wasting gas
Dead
A Lot Of These Upcoming Problems Could Be Solved With Another Science Class
"Dude, what the f-ck do you mean? Tree's aren't alive they don't have a nose."
...How?
When is the 4th of july?
I think it's the 17th February but i might be wrong
Fact Or Fiction?
Early in dating my now wife we watched ["30 Days of Night"] at the cinema. I lent over and mentioned it was true that some places do experience 30 days of total darkness because of their position on the Earth.
She paused for a moment and asked back 100% earnestly "and the vampires...are they real?"
Isn't That Part Of The Tragedy?
Waiting to be wheeled into surgery, had a chat with a male nurse about the same age as me mid 20s. asked me what i'm here for, told him it's a surgery regarding my cancer mets.
guy proceeds to say in awe "wow, i could never imagine having cancer at this age."
Well, neither did I just a few months earlier you insensitive prick, it's not like i made that decision consciously. 2 yrs later and that still riles me up... "you're too young to have cancer" is also on par with that and i hear it way too often.
Repeating My Job Description
Not stupid, but hilarious. A guy on the job told me, "[You're] always telling people what to do".
I'm a construction superintendent.
Telling people what to do is in my job description.
The Science Checks Out On That
I had an adult once tell me that they don't drink soda that is carbonated because the bubbles are an indication that the soda is infected with aerobic bacteria.
Just Eat In Moderation
"Drinking water while you're eating food is bad for you. Cause it dilutes your stomach acid and you can't properly digest your food."
B-tch please.
While that is incorrect, drinking while eating can lead to overeating. Either because the liquid you're drinking also contains calories, or for the simpler reason that chewed food in solution will settle more efficiently and allow you to eat more before triggering a sense of fullness.
Well, Uh, I Mean, Um...
season 3 confusion GIF GiphyI'm a boy, and in like 6th grade after the talk my friend comes up to me and says "Do you think girls vaginas get hard when they see a hot guy?"
Age Doesn't Dictate Height
Because I'm so short, I've always been the shortest person in school, people always think I'm a kindergartener walking with a bunch of 8th graders. So they'll walk up to me and ask "How old are you?"
I tell them I'm 14, they'll respond with the most idiotic thing you can say to someone who's short and in the eighth grade and that idiotic line is "How are you that short but in the [insert grade?". That line has always gotten on my nerves because by their logic the taller you are the higher the grade you should be in.
So Many Other Things For You To Say First
When I told my coworker I had cancer, he responded with, "Ah, another way for you to get attention."
Don't Brag When You Don't Know What You're Talking About
I told my US college educated* supervisor that my mom was going to Hawaii to celebrate her retirement. She says
"Ooh, exotic. She'll have to get a passport now right"?
I'm not knocking college education (I'm college educated) but this person made a VERY big deal about it to the point of looking down on others who didn't have a college degree. I wanted to say "Btch you know Hawaii is part of the US right?" But, she was my supervisor, so...
Someone Should Read More National Geographic
A shark is not an animal, it's a reptile.
I actually had it put on a shirt.
Boom. College.
My dad tell me I wasn't good enough to take over the family business, ended up getting my mba and the business went under when my alcoholic brother took over
Literally All You'll Be Doing For Three Straight Years
I taught a required undergraduate English course. One of my students told me that he hated writing and that he would never write again once he graduated.
I asked him what he was planning to do after graduation, and he said, "I'm going to law school."
The whole class turned around to laugh at him. He dropped the class and I never saw him again. It was 20 years ago and I still wonder what happened to that guy.
He Just Science'd You So Hard
"The government is lying to you. We're not running out of oil, oil comes from bones. Animals are dying all the time. You could make it from chicken bones."
I mean, he's not wrong that oil comes from organic material... his scales were just really off.
I Think You Just Walk Away.
This dude was arguing with me about his seat belt, finally he said 'if something happens I will just put it on real quick'.
What do you say to that?!
Clearly you don't understand the speed at which he can react.
...Wow.
driving bart simpson GIF GiphyWhen I worked for TSA, another TSA agent told me she wasn't going to accept an Alaskan driver's license as valid ID because "We can't take Canadian driver's licenses."
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People Describe The Creepiest Things They Ever Witnessed As A Kid
"Reddit user -2sweetcaramel- asked: 'What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?'"
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF Giphy"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV Giphy"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN Giphy"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
When we hear about other people's jobs, we've surely all done that thing where we make assumptions about the work they do and maybe even judge them for having such an easy or unimportant job.
But some jobs are much harder than they look.
Redditor CeleryLover4U asked:
"What's a job or profession that seems easy but is incredibly challenging?"
Customer Service
"Anything customer-facing. The public is dumb and horrendous."
- gwarrior5
"My go-to explanation is, 'Anyone can do it, but few can do it for long.'"
- Conscious_Camel4830
"The further I get in my corporate career, the less I believe I will ever again be capable of working a public-facing job. I don’t know how I did it in the past. I couldn’t handle it in the present."
"I know people are only getting worse about how they treat workers. It is disturbing, embarrassing, and draining for everyone."
- First-Combination-12
High Stakes
"A pharmacist."
"You face the public. Your mistake can literally kill someone."
- VaeSapiens
"Yes, Pharmacist. So many people think their job is essentially the same as any other kind of retail worker and they just prepare prescriptions written by a doctor without having to know anything about them."
"They are very highly trained in, well, pharmacology; and it's not uncommon for a pharmacist to notice things like potentially dangerous drug interactions that the doctor hadn't."
- Worth_University_884
Teaching Woes
"Two nuggets of wisdom from my mentor teacher when I was younger:"
"'Teaching is the easiest job to do poorly and the hardest job to do well,' and 'You get to choose two of the following three: Friends, family, or being a good teacher. You don't have enough time to do all three.'"
"We all know colleagues or remember teachers who were lazy and chose the easy route, but any teacher who is trying to be a good teacher has probably sacrificed their friends and their sleep for little pay and a stressful work environment. There's a reason something like half quit the profession within the first five years."
- bq87
Creativity Is "Easy"
"Some creative professions, such as designers, are often perceived as 'easy' due to their creative nature. However, they may face the constant need to find inspiration, deal with criticism, and meet deadlines."
- rubberduckyis
"EVERYBODY thinks they are a designer, up until the point of having to do the work. But come critique time, mysteriously, EVERYBODY IS A F**KING DESIGNER AGAIN."
"The most important skill to have as a designer is THICK SKIN."
- whitepepper
Care Fatigue Is Real
"Care work."
"I wish it could be taken for granted that no one thinks it's easy. But unfortunately, many people still see it as an unskilled job and have no idea of the many emotional complexities, or of how much empathy, all the time, is needed to form the sorts of relationships with service users that they really need."
- MangoMatiLemonMelon
Physical Labor Generally Wins
"I’m going to say most types of unskilled labor and that’s because there’s such little (visible) reward and such a huge amount of bulls**t. I’ve done customer service, barista, sales, serving, etc; and it was all much harder than my cushy desk job that actually can be considered life or death."
- anachronistika
Their Memory Banks Must Be Wild
"I don't know if I'd call it incredibly challenging, but being one of those old school taxi drivers who know the city like the back of his hand and can literally just drive wherever being told nothing but an address is pretty impressively skilled."
"Not sure if it's still like this, but British cabbies used to be legendary for this. I'm 40 and I don't think most young people appreciate how much the quality of cab service has gone down since the advent of things like Uber."
"Nowadays it's just kind of expected that a rideshare/cab driver doesn't know exactly where you're trying to get and has to rely on GPS directions that they often f up. Back when I was in college, cabbies were complete experts on their city."
"More even than knowing how to get somewhere, they could also give you advice. You could just generally describe a type of bar/club/business you're looking for, and they'll take you right to one that was spot on. Especially in really big cities like NYC."
- Yak-Mak-5000
Professional Cooking
"Being a chef."
- Canadian_bro7
"I would love to meet the person who thinks being a chef is easy! I cook my own food and it’s not only OK to eat but I make a batch of it so I have some for later. So, to make food that is above good and portion it correctly many times a day and do it consistently with minimal wastage (so they make a profit), strikes me as extremely difficult."
- ChuckDeBongo
Team Leading, Oof
"Anything that involves a lot of people skills and socializing. I thought these positions were just the bulls**t of sitting in meetings all day and not a lot of work happening but having to be the one leading those meetings and doing public speaking is taxing in a way I didn’t realize."
- Counterboudd
Not a Pet Sitter At All
"Veterinary Technician."
"Do the job of an RN, anesthesiology tech, dental hygienist, radiology tech, phlebotomist, lab tech, and CNA, but probably don’t make a living wage and have people undervalue your career because you 'play with puppies and kittens all day.'"
- forthegoddessathena
Harder Than It Looks!
"Sometimes, when my brain is fried from thinking and my ego is shot from not fixing the problem, I want to be a garbage man... not a ton of thinking, just put the trash in the truck, and a lot of them have trucks that do it for you!"
"But if the robot either doesn't work or you don't have one on your truck, it smells really bad, the pay isn't what it used to be, you might find a dead body and certainly find dead animal carcasses... and people are id**ts, overfilling their bags, just to have them fall apart before you get to the truck, not putting their trash out and then blaming you, making you come back out."
"Your body probably is sore every day, and you have to take two baths before you can kiss your wife..."
"Ehh, maybe things are not so bad where I am."
- Joebroni1414
Twiddling Thumbs and Listening
"Therapist here. I’ve always said that it’s pretty easy to be an okay therapist—as in, it’s not that hard to listen to people’s problems and say, 'Oh wow, that’s so hard, poor you.'"
"But to be a good therapist? To know when your client is getting stuck in the same patterns, or to notice what your client isn’t saying? To realize that they’re only ever saying how amazing their spouse is, and to think, 'Hmm, nobody’s marriage is perfect, something’s going on there'?"
"To be able to ask questions like, 'Hey, we’ve been talking a lot about your job, but what’s going on with your family?' And then to be able to call them on their s**t, but with kindness and empathy? Balancing that s**t is hard."
"Anybody can have empathy, but knowing when to use empathy and when and how to challenge someone is so much harder. And that’s only one dimension of what makes being a therapist challenging."
- mylovelanguageiswine
Constant Updates
"For the most part, my job is really easy (marketing tech). But having to constantly stay on top of new platforms, new tech, updates, etc etc is exhausting and overwhelming and I really hate it."
"Also, the constant responsibility to locate and execute opportunities to optimize things and increase value for higher-ups. Nobody in corporate roles can ever just reach a point of being 'good enough.' More and better is always required."
"Just some of the big reasons I’m considering a career change."
- GlizzyMcGuire_
Performing Is Not Easy
"Performing arts and other types of art. People think it’s a cakewalk or 'not a real job,' not realizing the literal lifetime of training, rejection, and perseverance that it takes to reach a professional level and how insanely competitive those spaces are."
- ThrowRA1r3a5
All About Perception
"I suspect everything fits this. Consider that someone whose job is stacking boxes in a warehouse has to know how to lift boxes, how many can be stacked, know if certain ones must be easily accessible, know how to use any equipment that is used to move boxes around."
"Not to mention if some have hazardous or fragile materials inside, if some HAVE to be stacked on the bottom, if a mistake is made and all the boxes have to be restacked, etc."
"But everyone else is like, 'They're just stacking boxes.'"
- DrHugh
It's easy to make assumptions about someone else's work and responsibilities when we haven't lived with performing those tasks ourselves.
This gave us some things to think about, and it certainly reminded us that nothing good comes of making assumptions, especially when it minimizes someone else's experiences.
Things Left-Handed People Deal With That Right-Handed People Never Do
Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.
It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.
Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.
For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.
Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:
"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"
If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.
Furniture Obstacle
"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."
– Prussian__Princess
"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."
– earwighoney
Everyday Objects For Everyday People
"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."
– J0rdan_24
Dangerous Tools
"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."
"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."
– diegojones4
It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.
Sports Disadvantage
"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."
– AjCheeze
No Future In Softball
"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."
– Leftover-Cheese
Find A Glove That Fits
"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."
– BowlerSea1569
"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."
– Jef_Wheaton
These examples are understandably annoying.
Shocking Observation
"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."
– UsefulIdiot85
"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"
"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."
– SilverGladiolus22
Can't Admire The Mug
"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."
– vanetti
"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."
– Bubbly-Anteater7345
"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."
– Material-Imagination
The Writing On The Wall
"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."
– darkjedi39
"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."
– dancingbanana123
Immeasurable
"Rulers."
"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."
– fourangers
Just Can't Win
"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."
"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."
"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."
"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."
"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."
– igenus44
The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.
But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.
Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:
"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."
Word.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen GiphyWhat Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost GiphyWho Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...