People Explain How They'd Honestly Respond If Their Partner Asked For An Open Relationship
Open relationships are a minefield.
Lesson number one: always be on the same page.
There is nothing wrong with being open in love, but know you're doing it for the right reasons.
If not, there could be consequences.
One Redditor wanted to hear about the reactions people had broaching the topic, so they asked:
"What would you say if your partner asked you to open the relationship?"
I'm not adverse to an open relationship, but I'd like to start just the two of us and then we'll see.
"This is something I screen for and discuss upfront. It's not for me, but I would not want to stifle someone who feels an open relationship is good for them. I know we would not be happy together."
14 Years In...
"I've been married for 14 years now. We're both very happy and we regularly talk about our desires for the future. I think I know and understand her fully. If she dropped a bomb like this on me it would be the first sign our interests are misaligned beyond repair. And I'd probably never fully trust anyone ever again."
"From my experience. 9/10 times if the relationship started monogamous and this conversation pop up they already have someone in mind and want the go ahead to go after them and if it fails they’ll cry about wanting to close it back up. If it was something on the table as a possibility at the beginning of the relationship, sure. If it wasn’t then no."
"Was dating a girl a few months and we went on a road trip for the weekend. Great time, etc. On the way back she spent a solid hour talking about how she couldn't settle down with any single guy, always wanted side pieces, stuff like that. I just listened, we weren't super far into the relationship but I thought it was going well."
"Anyway, I started talking to other girls since I didn't feel priority and slept with an old FWB. 'Gf' came over and saw a used condom in the trash and went apesh*t. I recalled the conversation about her wanting to date multiple guys, and explained I didn't feel like we were exclusive due to that. Breaks up with me, lol."
Tell Mesuspicious GIFGiphy
"I’d want to know who my partner met that made them consider this as an option."
Options are always going to be there. Might as well ask now.
WhoopsI Have No Idea Reaction GIF by MTV Movie & TV AwardsGiphy
"My ex husband asked me to do this. I was upset and uncomfortable but he kept asking so finally I relented. Then I had way more people interested in me than him and he got super bu**hurt super fast."
"Not a chance. If they want to f**k around I'll sever ties with them faster than the flash."
"Yep. Friend of mine did that. His gf at the time said she wanted to have an open relationship. He gave her one chance to stop and never bring it up again. She pushed it and he immediately broke up with her and kicked her out within 10 minutes. Litterally pushed her a** out the freaking door. (he was paying the rent and bills and his name was on the lease)."
"Ran into her a few months ago. Their breakup was about 5 years ago now, she said it was the stupidest thing she ever did. She sure as s**t doesn't identify as 'poly' now, apparently she wound up on the other end of things when her new bf suggested their relationship be open, and within a week he brought another woman home."
"Absolutely not. We’ve agreed we’re for each other and he knows I’m monogamous (as I know he is). Even the thought of him meeting someone else that makes him go 'I wanna see what it’s like to be with her,' makes me angry. Our relationship would be over at that point."
"I’m a jealous person by nature. Now that doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself if he has friends who are women. But the jealousy will always loom in the back of my mind. This is why I know the poly lifestyle is not for me."
"Wanting an open relationship tells me I'm not enough for them. The very suggestion would make me question our relationship then and there. Maybe I'm just insecure, but I'd probably struggle to see them the same way and likely end up breaking things off."
"Completely agree. And I’d be deeply, deeply hurt by the suggestion. We have been together 15 years, married for 8, and suddenly he wants a radical change in the most basic nature of our relationship? I’d be heartbroken."
Ugly ThoughtsNo Way Bird GIFGiphy
"I’d say no. Then I would constantly be thinking about the fact that they wanted to sleep with other people while they were in a relationship with me (or maybe they already acted on those desires), and the ugly thoughts would lead to me ending the relationship."
This is never an easy topic. Be sure to speak openly and honestly while considering all the possible ramifications.
Do you have any relevant experiences to share? Let us kow in the comments below.
People Confess Which Things They Swore They'd Never Do As A Kid But Ended Up Doing Anyway
When you were younger, your protected perspective on life and the world was probably significantly different compared to now.
Before life experience informed your decisions, younger you most likely had higher aspirations to achieve a specific goal or swore off doing something you found objectionable.
But here you are, as an adult, doing the exact opposite of what you had intended.
Curious to hear from strangers online about their developmental growth, Redditor 1234kyou_ asked:
"What did you swear in your childhood you would never do, but ended up doing anyways?"
Some hobbies that delighted us as kids never really go away as these Redditors have experienced.
The "Bird Creep"
"Birdwatching. I used to think it was the lamest way someone could spend their time when I was a kid. How could anyone just sit around and look at birds? What are you, some kind of bird creep? ... 20 years later and I'm obsessed with birds. Love hearing their songs and seeing all the beautiful colors."
"Give up drawing."
"I actually broke my own heart when I recently found a school project we did back when I was a kid. We had to write a letter for our future selves and mine starts with: 'Hey, did you become an artist already? I really hope you did not become a boring adult with a boring job who gave up on his dreams and passions.'"
"Well, sorry little me, but I kinda did."
Tending To One's Garden
"Gardening. We had a large garden. We raised and preserved what we grew. It was me and my sister's job to care for this garden. This was back when whipping your child was acceptable punishment. I was whipped sooo many times, because I hated that I had to grew and preserved vegetables I did not like. I hated it! Swore I'd never have a garden. Never do THAT to my kids. Then I had kids. A switch flipped in my head. I had to have a garden! I never made my kids take care of it. Gardening was my 'me' time. But being little kids, they wanted to be with mom and 'help' with the garden. I 'gave' them an area and they were allowed to grow whatever they wanted. If it was a fruit or vegetables , they had to eat it. As a result, they both love gardening and neither are picky eaters."
When it comes to keeping it in the family, it's not always the goal.
"I have become my father."
"I have become my mom.... even the voice is similar."
"I've taken on a lot more of my dad's cynicism than I would like, but mostly I have my mom's wonder and carefreeness."
"But my dad is rich and mom is poor."
"He does not share the wealth he just shares 'you should've done X like this'. But his advice is the level of 'tear down the sign punch them in the face and say you're looking at your new employee'. I've also never heard a single dad joke from him."
"When I was touring houses to buy before the pandemic, my mother's spirit must have possessed me because I opened my mouth and her voice said 'i don't know, i don't think I could live in a house without both a coat closet and a linen closet.'"
Adulting is hard.
The Financial Hole
"Get into debt I can't pay off."
"I said I wouldn’t curse unless a nuke was dropped on my house. That was a f'king lie."
Can't Wait, Don't Hate
"Have sex before marriage. Thank f'k I never made good on that one since I'm 41 and have never been married."
I'm a pretty fussy eater. Always have been.
I grew up in a Japanese family where regularly eating natto was a thing.
Natto is a Japanese dish made from Bacillus subtilis-fermented soybeans. It's known to have magical health benefits but the smell is overwhelmingly powerful, and the nutty taste leaves little to be desired.
Many people not used to eating exotic foods can't stand the flavor and slimy, sticky texture–let alone the pungent aroma.
I swore as a child that would be the one food I would never eat again after having a bad experience.
And yet, here I am as an adult, eating it for breakfast 2-3 times a week after truly understanding the health benefits.
Natto–which is rich in protein, vitamins, and minerals– helps maintain healthy cholesterol levels, reduces blood pressure, and can prevent heart disease. Some studies have suggested it can prevent certain cancers.
Once I trained myself to get used to flavor and smell, I actually crave it now.
It's definitely an acquired taste, but it's crazy to know that we are all capable of liking or appreciating something previously thought of as repulsive once we set our mind to it.
Finding love is something that nearly everyone hopes for at some point in their life.
For some, love practically finds them. They hardly need any time searching for the true love.
Others might have to work a little harder and be a little more patient. They never give up the hope that their one true love is out there, somewhere.
Then there are those for whom the search simply isn't worth it and have found themselves resigned to the fact that they may never find someone.
Whether or not that's how they want their life to be.
"Have you given up on love, if so why?"
Fear Of Getting Hurt
"To me the price I have to pay if I want to be in a relationship is I have to be vulnerable."
"And at some level I just don’t want to get hurt that bad again."
"I accept this, and have family, friends, work, hobbies, and things to look forward to."
"So while I wouldn’t say I have given up on love, I’m not looking for it and would be very wary of any new situation."- hdhdhdhdzjursx
"Gotta be honest, pretty much have."
"The last person I loved romantically found just about every way to put me down and reject me, all the while pulling me back in repeatedly."
"It was not worth it."
"I'm going solo but still kind of hoping for Miracle."
"I like me."- ATXDefenseAttorney
Don't Have The Energy
"Yes, because I'm tired."
"Tired of going out to find someone to love, tired of getting to know a new person and being comfortable enough to fall in love, tired of learning new things about this new person and whether we are compatible, tired of meeting each other's families and getting to know a whole new bunch of people..."
"Being single may be lonely, but I won't be exhausted."- Avelevanstar
"Not sure if I've given up, but I am getting real tired."
"Having to get to know new people, putting my heart out there without knowing if I'll succeed this time, so tiring."
"I'm learning more about myself in therapy, and I've seen ladies' heads turn when I speak, I've been told I have a nice voice, but chasing a lady is so much work for so little payoff."
"Never had a girlfriend before too, and I'm hitting 40 soon."
"Each new lady is a learning experience but it's also incredibly draining."
"Sometimes I just wanna curl up on my bed and ignore the whole world."- Blim004
It's Given Up On Them
"I haven't given up on love, but I doubt I will ever love again."
"After 53 years and so many attempts that ended in tears, I don't think I will ever have that chance again for a variety of reasons."
"I spend times just trying to come to terms that I will die alone someday."- kalwayne3573
For Their own Self-Care
"Need to repair myself so the next guy doesn’t have to do it for me."- Beginning-Match592
Lack Of Reciprocation
"Given up on love as I am the only one loving, the others just need me."
"When they're done, they push me away."- gameygamer15
Traumatized By Past Mistakes
"Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love?"
"So that's why, though I hope time will heal me or sth."- guess_I_feed
"I was in a 10-year abusive relationship."
"Unfortunately I didn’t realize until very late and then I ended it."
"It’s too much of a risk to meet someone again as these type of people are very manipulative and you don’t realize the cruelty they are capable of until you are trauma bonded."
"It’s not easier being single but it’s a lot less heartache."
"I thank my lucky stars every day that I got out."- corickle
"My last four love interests either cheated or 'found a girlfriend'."
"It's left me believing I'm just not a person who can be romantically loved."- Owlmystery
Happy Being Alone
"I’m not capable of giving someone my all and I enjoy my time alone more than anything."
"Two failed marriages later, we chillin."- HDTempo
Life Is Good The Way It Is
"I had a big love."
"It didn't work out."
"Now I live a truly beautiful life alone and I wouldn't trade it for the world."
"I just spent the weekend with my friend, her toddler, new puppy and failing marriage and when I got home I nearly cried with the feeling of gratitude for my peaceful life."- spice-pop
"On romantic love, yes."
"I have so many social aversions and require so much space that I'm neither capable or interested to nurture such a relationship."
"I'm happier and more functional on my own."- USAIsAUcountry
Literally Don't Know What They're Missing
"Never been loved before, can't miss what I haven't experienced."- Allnutsz
"I wasn't socialized from the ages 12-22 and have severe social anxiety."
"It's hard to meet people when you're terrified of them."- owe-me
The true romantics should never give up the hope that their soulmate is out there, somewhere.
That being said, being without a partner is nothing to be ashamed of.
As the only person in control of your own happiness, is you and you alone.
Hiring Managers Explain Which Mistakes Make Them Want To Throw Away Someone's Resume
A resume is so much more than just a simple list of your work experience.
Indeed, your resume is the first step in getting your foot in the door to your dream job, highlighting not only your past experience but your skill set, as well as things about you that will make recruiters want to get to know you more.
On the flip side, sometimes there are things on your resume that will automatically send you to the reject pile.
Of course, this is bound to include common, careless mistakes such as spelling and grammar errors or missing vital information, such as a phone number or email.
However, no two hiring managers will have the same set of red flags they look for on a resume. This can make finding a format that will please everyone something of a fool's errand.
"Hiring managers of Reddit: What makes you immediately throw out a résumé?"
Not In It For The Long Run
"I once received an application from a man in his 60s."
"Solid CV, lots of experience."
"In his cover letter he wrote 'I'm applying because the Job Centre asked me to'."
"Please note that I intend to retire in 6 months time'."
"We had a good laugh, then sent him a very polite rejection letter and wished him a great retirement."-BeerPoweredNonsenseSeason 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphy
Make Sure They Actually Get The Right Document...
"One time I had someone upload how to upload their resume from Dropbox instead of their resume."- rabidwhale
Always Proof Read!
"I'll usually still interview unless there is no relevant experience, but I've seen some atrocious resumes."
"I've seen people use crutch words like 'uh' in writing for a job description."
"I've also seen a sentence 4 lines long with zero punctuation."
"The same resume will have 'attention to detail' as a skill set."
"I've interviewed for one of those resumes, and the applicant said 'I dunno" to about 80% of my questions, and it turned out he didn't even know what job he applied for'."
"It's not that I'm overly picky, but if someone can't spend the 20 minutes or less that it takes to proof read their resume, are they going to put a lot of effort into their job?"
"Maybe, but it's hard to know."- ChristyM4ck
"'Very meticulous and attentive to detials'."- papparmaneRead Book Club GIFGiphy
Make Sure It's Legible
"The only time I have ever had to throw out a resume was because someone possibly had it in a bag with their lunch and the paper was soaking wet and dissolving as I tried to unfold it."
"It was just unacceptable to process."
"The application was left in a drop box so I don’t know if it was a prank or an actual applicant."- 416unknown
Unprofessional Email Address
"Back in 98 I asked a new group of hires at GIECO to write their email addresses on a list that was passed around."
"Remember email was kinda new back then.. "
"One young female employee's email address included 'mybaldc**tchie'."- catjugglinpimp
"An email address like DankMeister420@."- Kibitznikthe messengers aol GIFGiphy
Never Send Someone In Your Place
"It’s been a long time but I used to do hiring for a cinema."
"Staff were often young, for many it was a first job, making popcorn and selling tickets type of gig."
"I would not pursue anything where parents came in with a CV for their teenager or if parents were contacting me on behalf of their teen."
"Big red flag."
"Either their kid didn’t want he job in the first place or they’re incapable of taking initiative and it doesn’t bode well for how they’d be as an employee."- FigJamAndCitrus
"Having your parents submit your resume while you stand silently beside them."- krim2182
It's Pure, Dumb Luck!
"I remember a meme or maybe a tv skit from a while back."
"The hiring manager had a huge pile of resumes on his desk."
"Someone asked how he was going to sift through them all."
"He took 2/3rds of the pile, threw them in the trash, and remarked 'I don't hire unlucky people'."
"Lol."- SpecialSpite7115Im Out Breaking News GIF by Homes.comGiphy
All About The Formatting
"This doesn’t matter 100% of the time but bad formatting."
"If it’s hard to read I probably won’t read it."- Far-Gain-3081
Depends On The Job
"If it's a professional position, significant spelling errors will make me pass on a resume."
"If it's a warehouse job or something, I'm less concerned."- staffsargent
Don't Treat It Like A Text Message!
"Former hiring manager here."
"I tossed MULTIPLE resumes that used text message abbreviations throughout the resume and cover letter and one that included emojis."
"While you can do pretty much anything from your phone, it doesn’t mean you should."- spectacularuhohtext texting GIF by Fifth HarmonyGiphy
Choose Your References Wisely
"Not me, but a friend who checks resumes/CVs had a belter."
"Candidate had a conviction and his reference was his friend 'Baz'."- LexiRae24
Make Sure You Have The Relevant Skills
"I know it’s pretty specific but If your looking for a scheduling job make sure you know how to use Excel and clearly state it on your resume."
"It will probably get thrown out otherwise."- LoyalPlanets
As stated before, no two hiring departments will have exactly the same prerequisites and red flags, so no matter how hard you work, your resume is never going to please everyone.
That being said, multiple misspellings and a cheeky e-mail address are a surefire guarantee of not pleasing anyone.
People Explain Which Things Were Once Highly Respected But Are Now Seen As A Complete Joke
In a world that keeps moving forward, many things change. People who seemed heroic fall from grace, inventions that were once useful are forgotten, and basic human rights are either ignored or taken for granted.
One way we've seen this happen is by thinking about all the people and things that were once highly respected that are now basically seen as a joke.
It all started when Redditor WildAnimus asked:
"What is something that was once highly respected but is now a complete joke?"
My Life As A Social Media Star
"Privacy. I know you're allowed to film pretty much everything, everywhere, all the time but do y'all really need to?"
"And when you even mention that it's weird and rude to film people in public, a bunch of a**holes will jump all over you saying that "yOu HaVe No ExPeCtAtIoN oF pRiVaCy In PuBlIc". Like yeah, no one is saying you should go to jail or something, but could we all maybe try to respect one another a little more?"
The High Offices
"Being US President"
"I'll add being a Supreme Court Judge"
"I think this also extends to public office in general."
Cheaters Never Prosper
"If he had admitted to use of steroids after the first accusation, I think people would have been a lot more forgiving. It’s the sh*t he did to his accusers that makes him a sh*t human"
"We sure found out how his arms got so strong."
"Being a journalist. Said as someone who aspired to be one and am so thankful that I didn’t end up one."
"Theres a reason we call it "The Media" and not "The News". The goal is no longer to inform, but to entertain."
"It really is difficult to find a solution to the lack of real journalism. We got here because people would rather be entertained or enraged than informed."
"Journalism. They were once defenders of the common man, seekers of truth and justice. Now they write bull sh*t about whatever is trending on f*cking Twitter and whatever propaganda the corporate overlords want them to push."
Inflation Will Do That
"Making 20 dollars an hour at your job"
"I remember thinking when I was younger “I’d be happy if I made 40k a year.” I make a lot more than that and am only just getting by."
"For my wife to be a stay-at-home mom like both of us want, I would have to make almost $40 an hour"
"Elon Musk. Man had a hell of a reputation for being a real-life Tony Stark. Then he started unraveling it all with the cave diver incident. (Your opinion may differ, the diver incident is when he went from "eh, he's cool I guess" to "he's a total jacka**" for me, at least.)"
"More recently he's completely tossed any shred of reputation he has by being a COVID denier, getting fully in bed with right wingers. being an utter sh*theel with the Ukraine war, and now his utter incompetence is fully on display with the Twitter takeover, taking a company that was previously doing just fine and tanking it in almost record time."
"(And of course, everything coming out about his legacy, like how he was let go from PayPal because he had no idea what the hell he was doing"
"Honestly I never really clicked onto just how much of a super villain he is until GTA online parodied him in their facilities DLC. Looking back, yeah it's a total likeness. A megalomaniac with all the money and a crazy tech start up plot to terrorise the world, and he gets foiled by a few weebs wearing a princess mask and body armour. It's the best metaphor for the 21st century I've ever witnessed actually"
Still Worth It?
"Supposed to end the high cost cable, now its essentially just a channel you subscribe to"
"That was inevitable."
"What wasn't inevitable was cancelling every show before it even has a chance."
"I blame all the studios pulling their shows to instead put them on their own crappy streaming service."
"That's not Netflix's fault though. That is every single studio that exists thinking they can have their own paid service, after fighting tooth and nail against it for two decades. Netflix proved streaming works and now everyone wants Netflix's pie."
"They did well and then HBO max happened and then everyone and their mother pulled their content for their own streaming service. Now you have 10 different subs with one or two shows worth watching and lots of sh*t"
"The Academy Awards! I used to stay up late to watch the end & was so invested in the outcome!! For the past few years I haven't seen a single one of the nominated movies and feel so "meh" about the whole thing."
"I think the Academy Awards and the Grammies are in the same boat. People have woken up to the fact that the awards are rigged and who wants to watch that? It's a shame really."
"The veil has been lifted on most award shows. The more they try to compensate and include people who aren't attached to big studios the more they realize those people could care less about their award shows."
"The awards shows seem to be nothing more than big-name artists showing face to represent their studio. The shows are starting to see the flaw in their business model. You cant give awards to people who don't respect the award and you can't get someone to respect the award unless it's profitable."
"If the award doesn't get more eyes on your art or you aren't working on the next project participating in the show doesn't help you."
Teach Me Tonight
"Working in a school"
"Soon to be former teacher, this one absolutely rings true in my experience. I will have only been in it for 3 years, I have no idea how anyone in their right minds would make a career out it considering the current state of education"
That is completely tragic!
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.