If there's one thing that parents won't admit, it's the fact that they may have regretted having children. Whether it was for personal preference, financial reasons, or anything in between, they finally were able to confess to Reddit their true thoughts.
u/jaytoles asked: People who regret having kids: why?
Protecting them from trauma.
It fills me with fear and worry about their future. It's like having your heart outside of your body. I don't want to live but I have to for their sake, and I know there's so much out there I can't protect them from.
I don't personally regret having a kid at all, but I completely understand that first sentiment.
I was mercilessly bullied in grade school, and when she started school it didn't even cross my mind that it would happen to her because she's so sweet and happy and fun and friendly.
Then I went to my first father daughter dance with her, she was in KINDERGARTEN and I watched a few of the slightly older girls (same grade) just absolutely treat her awful. On a night that was so much fun I had my heart break in two.
Since then she'll come home every so often and tell me something, we'll try to work with her or her teacher to get it fixed but every day as I kiss her on the forehead before she goes to school I silently pray that she won't get the same treatment I got.
Can't just chill out anymore.
Giphy
Life is much easier without them. I love my kids...but there are definitely days I question our decision to have them. Mine are both around age 5 (boys), and they're just so hyper - as I type this, they're arguing in the backseat because one of them wants quiet time and the other wants to sing (don't worry, I'm not the driver.) You're constantly either correcting someone, listening to shrieking (sometimes happy, sometimes not), whining, arguing, needing to get up to get them stuff or play with them or teach them, etc.
It just requires constant attention, and that wears me down more than I had anticipated. Your downtime to watch TV and just chill out and not think about anything? Gone for many years, along with the ability to be spontaneous. Want to eat out? Have to find a kid appropriate place, make sure you have some crayons or something to keep them quietly occupied, and you'll spend most of dinner working on building their restaurant manners. Life is just a whole lot more tiring.
(I realize this response sounds like I hate my kids. I don't. Like all parts of life, there are ups and downs. But I do feel like society, especially people deciding if they want kids, would benefit from more people being willing to talk about the hard parts.)
It can be draining.
I can't say I "regret" having had kids, but I often think my life would be better had I not. Parenting is difficult under the best circumstances, but it's a roll of the dice. If you have a child with medical or developmental problems it is a tremendous drain. I feel like I've aged about 20 years in the last 5, like I'm just a ghost of my former self.
This is a tough one.
I don´t have kids yet, but I know someone who regrets having kids; my mother.
They (my mom and my father) wanted two daughters, but after multiple failed attempts, they settled with having just one daughter. They were all fine with having just one kid. Dad´s condom got broken, I was born as a male, not as female, dad started feeling overwhelmed, started dating his current wife when I was 4, my parents got divorced, 14 years passed, and here we are.
My parents care only about my sister. Dad only talks to her. My mom told me on multiple occasions, ever since I was 6, that she hates me. I was hugged by my dad only once in my entire life. My mom hugged me only three of four times in my entire life. I was the reason my parents got divorced. Ever since I was born my dad was cheating on my mom with multiple women (one of them got kicked out of his work due to their relationship interfering with their work). She keeps telling me that she regrets having me and that she should have went for an abortion. Even during the divorce process, they were haggling over my sister, but when I was discussed in court, not one of them wanted me, so the court assigned me to my mom´s custody, along with my sister.
She even suggested joint custody, which worked for about a year, until my father couldn´t bear having me every other week and watching me (he truly didn´t care a single bit about me and hated me). My sister rarely went to visit my father, only about once or twice for one night every month. This worked for about a year until my mother was able to ask for higher alimonies, which required her to have full custody of me and my sister. And, since my father had the short end of the stick and only one lawyer, my mom won.
As for my sister; After all of this, my sister turned out to be a pretty awful person. Selfish, spoiled brat that went to study for a lawyer. Without our grandma´s connections and friends, she wouldn't get a single thing she has in her life. On top of that, she committed some crimes, which forced her ex-boyfriend to escape the country. She emotionally manipulates everyone so that they do what she wants. So yes, she is possibly the worst person in our family.
Now I´m living with my mom. I´m 19 and in university, studying to become teacher of English language and ethics. I want to move away from this town and be a teacher somewhere else where me and my girlfriend can get a decent job. I want to be a good father to my children and good teacher for my future students.
I don´t want anyone to go through what I went through. When I will have the means to do so, I will be cutting ties with my family, and possibly even changing my last name. I don´t want my children to know anyone from my family, because I don´t want them to be influenced by their toxic personalities.
Don't have kids if you like to sleep.
Giphy
I don't regret the kids I have, but I do regret not waiting until we were a little older and more settled to start having kids. I feel we struggle much more financially that we might have if we had waited.
Our youngest is 3 and we haven't slept more than a dozen nights in his life. So if you are particularly invested in sleeping through the night, don't have kids.
Nothing but worry.
I'm a parent that mostly doesn't regret, but there's a constant stress. Money concerns are not fun, but there's a lot of other stuff too. Toddlers can choke or get kidnapped New drivers can die in a crash (happened a couple times at my high school). Teenage pregnancies. Seems like there's always something to worry about.
Is it immoral?
I sometimes feel guilty about the world I have brought them into, and wonder about whether having kids in general (bringing innocents into a world where they will definitely suffer) isn't immoral.
Again, DON'T have kids if you like sleep.
Giphy
It's just easier without them. On the rare occasions my kids are on sleep overs a single evening can seem like a six week summer break due to not having issues with dinner, getting ready for bed and going to bed.
My youngest has night terrors so I think in the last decade or so, even after the baby crying in the night stage, we've had maybe twenty or thirty nights of unbroken sleep. It's just crazy the amount of time, money and energy you put into raising kids.
Valid.
Extreme poverty. And not very much hope of escaping the poverty. Child support can be a real b*tch.
Wow.
Not me but my Mom once told me she considered aborting her first child (my older brother) and not having me or my younger sisters after that. She says that her life would have been WAY different, she could've graduated college and got a good job. But she still loves us and can't imagine her life without us now.
That's a good idea.
Giphy
I regret my mother having kids - not only because I wish I didn't exist but because she wasn't ready. I'm not sure she ever would have been. Don't get me wrong, I love her and I know she loves us with all her heart, but she just had us because she got pregnant and she just got lucky that none of us have any expensive physical needs that she would have been entirely too poor to deal with as a single mother. She also has never been aware of things like depression or anger issues and so she can't recognise them at all, particularly in my horribly spoiled and violent younger sister.
I think a lot of eldest daughters feel this was but I feel like the second parent or her emotional support daughter or something. I'm always dragged in to help mother the others and play the bad cop because she can't be strict. As much as I love her, she's the reason I think there should be a course every parent should have to take before having a child. Some people just are not emotionally intelligent enough and just winging it can have some serious side effects on your kid.
Also just a side note because I sound very judgemental for someone without kids - I'd be a terrible mother so my tubes are getting tied.
Ups and downs.
I don't regret it per se, however I was pregnant with my first child when I was 19 (36 now) so I've lived my entire adult life being a parent. I've missed out on a lot and they've missed out on a lot with me not being ready and wise enough to be a good parent. It's very exhausting and tiring. I used to spend a lot of time regretting having children, but I feel like I'm on the home stretch now. Almost.
Having said all of this, I adore my kids with my all my heart and I have a super special relationship with my youngest. All in all I say parenting is like an elevator. It has its ups and downs.
Fair point.
It's like having a pet.
Except you have to feed, cloth, nurture, medicate, educate, enlighten, entertain, and always be there for them.
In short, it's a full time job that requires zero qualifications, the pay is potentially amazing and potentially horrible, and if you f**k up badly enough you're going to jail.
Say goodbye to sleep.
Giphy
Parenting is a pain in the a**.
Anybody would tell you that I am a great dad and I love and care for my kid to no end.
But I absolutely am not having another one. They have a way of making your life about them. There are no days off.
I remember a time my wife and I could just leave at 3 in the morning to grab a snack. Not anymore.
We could fly to a different country without having to stay up on the whole plane ride with the kid. Have you ever had jetlag? That is some serious sleep and imagine not being able to get that sleep because your toddler is up and ready to go.
They are demanding. They need all your attention. They are expensive.
They are also cute and show you love and affection like nobody else. They are forgiving and often easily happy.
But I just know that I am not cut out for it. The one I have, I'll give him the world. But I am not having any more.
That's so sad.
There was a comment down below that reminded me of this story, but I feel it was inappropriate to respond directly to that comment because it would come across as insensitive. So here it is.
There was a guy in the neighborhood growing up. Nice neighborhood, probably a nice family. I didn't know them personally. But their house was on one of two main ways out of the neighborhood so we were always driving past. Apparently this guy really, really, really wanted a son. He didn't get one, he got three daughters instead. And apparently they were really girly daughters, as in none of them wanted to play basketball, softball, or any other sports. So this guy put up a basketball goal anyway. He was always out there shooting hoops by himself. It seems kind of sad.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
Away Messages
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"
GiphyThe Unknown
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."
GiphyThe Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."
GiphyFiguring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."
GiphyEndless Learning
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"
GiphyMaking Friends
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."
GiphyA Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
- tsoldrin
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
- dramboxf
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."
GiphyGo Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
- dienices
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."
GiphyIt Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."
GiphyWe Used To Love Yahoo
"Yahoo Answers"
"Yahoo Pool"
- inaclick
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."
GiphyOn a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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