Hail to ye citizens of internet who still remember "the before times" - back when this was all a series of message boards and geocities - in the days when the fanciest bit of coding to be found was that one scene kid's Myspace page with the twinkling background.
This article is for you, old timer.
Reddit user NightmareExpo decided to take it way back when they asked:
"Those of you from the 'early days' of the Internet, what online mysteries do you remember that remain unsolved?"
We're going to be honest, we didn't even know about some of these - but now that we do, we're itching for answers just as much as the commenters are! Put on your sleuthing hats, folks. We're going in.
Immortally Bad
Whether "My Immortal", famously the worst fanfiction of all time, was written by a troll or not.
It's like the saying that a broken clock is right twice a day. A badly written story with an author that is really trying should still have occasional redeeming qualities.
My Immortal is bad in a fractal sense. Every individual part is just as bad as the whole. That strongly suggests it was intentional.
If it was intentional, it kind of takes away from the magic of it all, I feel. I just like the idea of someone typing that garbage all out, and legitimately, delusionally thinking it was a masterpiece.
Fixing Foot Pain
Anybody remember cutoffmyfeet.com? A guy had terrible foot pain and wanted to amputate, so the website said. He was taking donations for entry into a contest to be the person who, via the internet, would be able to push a keyboard key that activated a home made guillotine to remove his affected feet. The whole thing was planned out with a scheduled date and audience. Ambulance would be already called. Never heard what happened.
Simpson's Did It
When The Simpsons did the Who Shot Mr. Burns cliffhanger, they had a contest to see if anyone could solve it. On the Simpsons usenet there was one commenter who solved it using the clues correctly (as opposed to just a lucky guess.) The showrunners tried all that they could to find the person but never did...
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The Final Puzzle
Grngecko.com/torment was crazy to me. I don't remember how I found it but it started you out on this puzzle that wasn't too difficult to solve, but it just kept giving more puzzles with increasing difficulty. I remember having a full notebook from writing stuff down trying to figure out how to solve them.
I eventually got stuck and went to some forums to find out there were people who put in some WORK trying to complete it but I don't believe anyone ever reached the end. They eventually took it down and the creator put up a new series of puzzles that was solved within the first couple days.
I was always curious what was at the end of that grngecko puzzle. That website is what made me have a love for puzzles and riddles.
Suddenly Nothing
I had a previous Reddit account made during the Digg exodus. This was at least a decade ago when Reddit was pretty new. I came across a post from a guy who swore that a particular website that looked like a generic local news site with the usual AP & Reuters news feeds was actually a government run intelligence program.
It functioned like a numbers station in plain site. Meaning that the exact wording used would match up with a one time use pad and provide intelligence info.
I can not remember the exact website, but it looked unimpressive and the domain was registered in Bahrain, despite appearing to cater to a midsize US city.
He then said he was being harassed in real time since he made that post. Then he said he got doxxed and strangers were calling him telling him to cut it out.
I tried to reply to his post a few minutes later, but then found that his Reddit account and every post he made were deleted.
What was that all about?!
Time Traveling Segways?
I remember the mystery surrounding John Titor, the time traveler.
I was around for the whole John Titor shenanigans and it was awesome/weird/fascinating at the time. The logo, the way he posted, everything.
The funny thing is that I know that since then people are pointing at two brothers in Florida who were behind the whole thing, but in terms of what he actually wrote- that unless humanity changed certain things, that we were doomed - could actually be true if you believe in the multiverse theory.
I have a theory it was Dean Kamen trying to viral market the Segway. He kept asking what we thought of "It", referring to the Segway as a future transportation device.
"Dean Kamen, prolific inventor. Portable insulin pumps, Segway, portable dialysis machines, Coca Cola Freestyle...
"But the biggest reason to fanboy him, IMO, is because he's the main guy behind FIRST/FIRST Robotics Challenge/FIRST LEGO League/etc. It's a wonderful set of programs; I coach at a couple of levels and the impact on kids is terrific."
Bonsai
Back in the day there was a site called bonsai kitten claiming to sell real kittens grown in glass jars. It was a hoax website but people actually believed it. I was probably 11 or 12 so I totally bought into it too. The internet was new-ish and people were more gullible back then.
I was around that age also and it really screwed me up for a long time. I had watched documentaries on those ladies who wore shoes too small and their feet never developed correctly and molded/grew into the shape of the tiny shoe...so to my child brain the bonsai kitten idea made sense.
- hfuga
Hermione
Just after the first Harry Potter film was made there was a creepy website with photos of Hermione's face VERY BADLY photoshopped onto various "sexy" celebs bodies. There was no nudity but it was still creepy, especially as he had a countdown clock until Hermione was "legal".
The mystery, I suppose, is whether the person who made the site was a "for real" weirdo or if it was some weird sort of parody/satire. I never saw the site again so don't know how it progressed in later years, and you'd never find it now without getting yourself on some sort of list.
Leprechaun
The leprechaun sighting in Crichton.
I want to know if an entire neighborhood came together to fake it, if something was in the water, a real leprechaun was seen, but most importantly, I want to know where the gold at.
I live in Mobile, and it was just a crackhead. But other people picked it up and ran with it because they thought it was funny. There's a really great Irish Bar here that puts the sketch of the leprechaun on it's St. Patrick's Day t shirts.
I'm a native of Mobile, Al and still live here. We still talk about this event and every year celebrate its anniversary! We love it! There's t-shirts of the composite sketch available. My sister and her husband put the damn leprechaun on their wedding koozies (beer huggers, whatever they're called)!
Crichton is a low-income neighborhood in Mobile and is known be riddled with drugs. Buncha sketchy things go down there but damn if they didn't put us on the map!
Pretty sure it was a hoax but it's a classic.
Early Worm
Who wrote SQL Slammer, an early internet worm. I work in cybersecurity; I remember at the time it was released it was crazy the damage it did: took down 90% of all infectable hosts within 10 minutes or so. Many believe it was an early cyberweapon test. If you get into the technical details of the thing it's wild: so crazy efficient it's entire source code sat in a single packet.
When the SQL Slammer worm hit my workplace, it was like 5:00 AM after our yearly holiday party. Someone else got paged first, came in and decided to page me. I tried to log in remotely, but all the network links were so saturated I couldn't really troubleshoot anything. The guy that paged me neglected to tell me that there was a worm on the loose, so I just threw on shoes and a jacket, not changing out of my PJs and headed to the office.
I got into the office and was able to console into my devices and saw that every link coming out of the server farm was at 100%. I asked the other guys what was going on, and then they told me about SQL Slammer.
I called my boss and told him to stop by McDonalds and buy $40 worth of breakfast sandwiches, because we were about to have a lot of hungry and hungover people at work. The moron shows up with 4 sandwiches, one of which he ate. Once he realized the scope of the problem, he turned around and got another 40-50 of them.
I ended up spending 15 hours sitting in the datacenter in my pajamas. Fun day.
The Dashcam Vid
Back when I was a teenager, I had just heard about 4chan from my brother. So I would browse different stuff on the site. One day, I came across a video that looked to be someone's dash cam on a highway. It wasn't great quality as this was sometime before 2010. You could see people passing on the other side and it was dark. You could only see what was illuminated by the headlights. After a few seconds of driving you see a girl crawling on her hands and knees across the road and it ends right before she is hit. I THINK she may look up, but I'm not sure. I kept replaying it because I wasnt sure what to think about it. I hadn't really seen anything like it at that point in my life. I have looked EVERYWHERE to see if I could find the video or get a follow up on what happened to the girl. I wanted to know if it was real. I have never been able to find the video or anything about it since.
- Mjw95
Infected
Does anyone else remember something similar to what I'm about to describe?
You accessed it from google. You could choose to be either a vampire or a werewolf. Then you emailed others your URL link. If they went to it, you got another number in your "infected" count.
I remember this from around 2003-2008
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Text
I used to love all of the text files from all over the place in the late 90s and early 00s. Does anyone have or know of an archive of them? Most of the sites don't exist anymore. Even if they did, I don't even remember what all of the sites were called, or what the majority of the texts were called. This makes the internet archive hard to find these things in.
A couple of good examples:
"Soap Opera" a hilarious journal style narrative of one man's battle with hotel housekeeping over their daily soap resupply during an extended stay.
"The Other People" credited to Oberon Zell. It is a conversation style explanation of why the author is not subject to the laws and oversight of the Christian God because his ancestry does not come from Adam and Eve, but from the other people in the east.
Nazi Tunnels
Oh man. There was a thread on PistonHeads (UK Car forum) about a guy who found a nazi tunnel in his back garden. The thread was like 400 pages long with updates and hiring diggers and everything.
Last I read he was going to excavate it and turn it into a garage. Wonder what happened...
Pink Floyd
Publius Enigma
So I was a massive Pink Floyd fan and there was a cryptic series of riddles on alt.music.pink-floyd that had some sort of mystery that needed solving.
At first I was super skeptical, but then to provide proof it was all real there was in block letters in the lights at one of the concerts ENIGMA PUBLIUS at a specified time. I remember our dorm trying to solve the issue and devolving into drinking but it was a big deal at the time. Then Penet got closed down and that stopped the messages.
The riddle was never answered and seems to be forgotten now.
Looney Tunes
I kept trying to go to the looney tunes website once, but it kept directing me to a website with a wall of text and picture of a naked with woman with her nipples covered with tiny stars.
I wasn't old enough to understand the sexual nature of the picture, I just wanted to go to the looney tunes website. I remember bringing my dad into the room to try and help me.
I have no idea what I was doing wrong to be redirected to that website instead of the looney tunes website.
- hafuhafu
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Ninjas And Credit Card Fraud
Ninja burger. Supposedly you order a burger from this website and wherever you are, a ninja shows up and breaks into your house to deliver this burger without being seen. Never ordered it but always wondered what would actually happen...probably credit card fraud lol
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.