Music festivals are nothing new. They've been a staple of the rock n' roll experience for generations. We like to think of our parents and grandparents as being more mature and responsible than we were, but remember - nothing is new, children.
We promise, getting crazy at music festivals is something our forefathers knew well - which means needing medical services because you got too crazy at a music festival is a time honored tradition, folks!
One reddit user asked:
EMS/Medical people at Music Festivals, what are your most crazy stories?
We're not sure how half of these people are still alive, but they now have legendary tales to tell. Here are some of our favorites, some may be edited for clarity.
Fruit Pie
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A guy jumped down from the nose bleed section and then yelled "whats my favorite type of fruit pie?!?" We took him away because he was way too high and had a concussion. Still don't know which pie is his favorite.
Hydration Is Important
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Basslights 2015 in Hampton Virginia. This girl was running around the venue topless, mercilessly crushing a water bottle (which was empty) in her first, running up to people and shoving it in the faces screaming DOES ANYBODY NEED ANY WATER?!?! Her pupils were black as night, and she was grinding her teeth to a pulp. It was terrifying.
A Bike Pump?
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Some people next to us a Phish's Labor Day weekend shows had this bike pump. They fitted the end with a little cup and were blasting drugs up their noses with it. We heard em jokingly say "you know those people that party too hard and get taken away by medics, that's totally gonna be us".
Well....it was them at like 4am Sunday morning.
The Legendary Bugsy
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On the Woodstock album, there's an announcement: "Bugsy, please report to the medical tent". I know that Bugsy, he was a family friend.
Whoever was in charge of the medical tent heard about Bugsy, and he spent a lot of time helping diagnose symptoms and talking people down from bad trips.
Bugsy was the go-to guy in town that vetted every single drug that entered that town. Until Bugsy gave the OK, nobody would touch anything. If Bugsy said it was not legit, not only did no kids use the stuff, but the older guys would run that dealer out of town for trying to hurt people. We all looked after each other in those days. Good times.
"Bro, It's A Rave And This Is How I Party."
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Got called to an unresponsive person in a stream a few years back. He was almost K holed and high on GHB with his head dangling off the end of an inflatable couch just touching the top of the water. Seriously, if he fell off he would have been a goner. As a harm reduction based first aid team, we brought him to a semi coherent level of consciousness and explained why it was a bad idea to pass out, in the water. And he got quite upset, which led to one of my favorite quotes from a festival ever: 'Bro, It's a rave, and this is how I party man'
A few inches away from drowning apparently? Since he was awake, we brought him and the couch to shore and bid him good day. Then got called to the girl who had ODed on GHB in the middle of the stream and was barely breathing and totally hypothermic. We worked on her for hours and she made it. Point is don't do dissociatives around water kids. Unless it's a rave and that's just how you party.
"He's Yours"
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I walk past the stage and a guy comes out stumbling, supported by two mates. They see us and yell: "He's yours"
And drop the guy in our arms. We assume severe intoxication and start escorting him towards our first aid station. Suddenly a girl taps my shoulder and says: "I don't know if you got the whole picture... he just tried to do a back flip off of a oil barrel, but he landed on his forehead. Since the he started sweating and became even more intelligible."
This gets me worried of course so we hurry to the tent. I put him down on the stretcher and asks him some questions about how he's feeling and what happened. As the festival was in a part of the country with dialect I was unfamiliar with I could always ask myself the question; Why don't I understand him? Is it, a) dialect (his friends were also hard to understand so this was definitely an option), b) drunkenness (he reported somewhere between 40 and 60 beers, so this was also a good guess), or c) brain damage (he hit his head hard and was suddenly sweaty, so this was strike three).
On his forehead I find a dimple about a centimeter deep with the skin still intact, just a deep dimple. The guy fractured his skull and had to be rushed off by ambulance.
"Daddy" Issues
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Was an EMT B, signed up for a shift during governors ball in New York two summers ago. Some drunk and severely dehydrated Russian girl in her early 20's starts taking off her clothes in the ambulance while my partner was sitting in the front heading towards the hospital. She barely spoke English. She started messing around with herself and I, a semi new EMT at 19 yrs old, didn't how to best handle this.
So I decided to use some zip ties and tied her wrists to the stretcher and then covered her body with an extra bed sheet. She started yelling daddy towards me as I pushed her stretcher into the ER to get her checked in, the triage nurses at that hospital called me Daddy for the rest of my time working as an EMT.
-B-s1
All Hail Party Snake!
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Worked a large Electronic music festival in 2016. A patient found a snake somehow in the woods near by, carried it around in his pocket until he was in the rave pit, and took it out. It proceeded to bite the living hell out of him. He dropped the snake and came to the med tent. Well it turns out that another festival goers found the snake, picked it up and put it in HIS pocket... and so the story repeated four more times! Finally the poor snake bit a patient through his pocket and he came in with the snake still in his pocket since he couldn't get it out.
5 patients. One snake. Lots of drugs.
All hail party snake!
"A F^cking Redneck Bloodbath"
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I volunteered with a rescue squad that was tasked with providing EMS for the Blue Ridge Music Festival. It was a very small scale country music festival that went on for 2 days. It was far from a huge festival, but there were hundreds of people present and it was a bit of a logistical nightmare. So the first year they did this festival we were woefully under prepared. We had maybe 40 or so providers and it was all hands on deck, but we were split up roughly 20 on one day and 20 on the other. The temperature outside was in the 90s and they were serving tall 24 oz beers to people as the only alcohol you could get. You overpaid and got these tall boys and then went and crushed it out in the heat where there was no shade as it was a smaller high school sized football stadium with no real covering. They had the bright idea to cover the field with this big black tarp and everyone was out lying on this thing all day. What resulted was a redneck bloodbath.
First of all, these were people that are not used to the festival atmosphere, local bros, country girls with their cowboy boots on their feet all day, not drinking enough water, getting drunk on these tall boys. It was a recipe for disaster. A lot of people didn't realize that you can't dome six 24oz beers like you can dome a standard 12 oz six pack. But there's still beer in your can so you keep drinking and only count that as 1 beer - because drunk math.
It wasn't long before the radios were blowing up. We had drunk people falling out all over the stadium. We had people stationed all over the place trying to respond to calls and while on their way they would stumble upon someone else that was covered in vomit and not able to sit up. Then we had teams dedicated to the parking lot because people were pre-gaming out there. Its next to impossible to respond to a 911 call for 'a drunk guy passed out next to the back of a pickup truck' when that is the scene every 5 feet. I would head to a call for someone down/seizing/injured with 3 or 4 people and have to send the other providers off in different directions to follow people asking for help with other sick/injured/seizing people.
I vividly remember stepping out from our little tent and seeing the mass of drunks we had collected. All these people piss drunk lying around drinking the water we gave them. I watched as a girl walked up, started vomiting, and just walked along this whole row of people spraying them. It was a warzone.
We got our a**es handed to us for two days straight and thankfully nobody was seriously injured or died, but we probably sent 15 to 20 people to the hospital over the course of the festivals 2 days and treated/released 3 times that many. Again, it was a smaller festival but still for us this was waaaay more than we were equipped to handle. We were stretched thin but somehow got through it.
So the next year we knew this clusterf^ck was coming and we planned accordingly. We brought in 3 other rescue squads to help staff it. We setup rapid exit points at 2 points of the stadium. Basically if a call went out the decision was made that a medic would assess the patient, if they were deemed too sick/fucked up/whatever to remain at the festival and take care of themselves they had two options, PD would escort them off the property or they had to go to the hospital (obviously if someone was not competent to refuse transport they also went to the hospital).
Instead of sitting on these fools, anyone too drunk got those two choices and were dealt with quickly. We would have ambulances stationed at either end and as 1 took a patient another would take its place. It might seem like overkill, but yet again we were pushed to the limits even with twice the manpower and a much better plan. This time though things went 1000 times better. We borrowed a FEMA morgue tent and used morgue stretchers to setup a rehab area. Basically if you were just feeling a little sick/needed to get out of the sun you could come into this giant freezer designed to store bodies after natural disasters and lie down on a corpse cot. It worked perfectly. We would rehab people, if after 10 minutes they were still sick, it was once again, either leave or go to the hospital. While that sounds harsh its not like we were booting people for just being drunk, I'm talking people falling down drunk or having obvious medical emergencies.
It was a good example of learning from your mistakes and developing a revised action plan to handle a large group of people, behaving like idiots, out in the sun all day, not taking care of themselves. Again nobody died and we didn't have a huge number of hospital transports. But one girl around 9 pm was drunk as f^ck and fell in the middle of the crowd and broke her fucking ankle, bone obviously protruding. She didn't want to leave because whoever headliner country music star was coming on. We had to strap her to a board while she was still standing trying to see the headliner and carry her out of the place by like 8 people.
3/10, wont ever work large crowd events ever again if I can help it.
Green Pepper
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Festivals are normally quite entertaining to work. Most memorable was a guy insisting he was a green pepper. He was very scared that someone was going to chop him up and put him in a salad.
H/T: Reddit
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.