Pyramid schemes are illegal in the United States, but I promise you we are exposed to them all the time. Only now, we call it "multi-level marketing" - and it's a total scam.
What's the difference? It's all in the technicalities, my friends. See, what makes pyramid schemes illegal is that you're paying participants to recruit other participants. MLM's claim that they're different because they're not paying you to recruit other people, they're paying you based on how much product those recruits buy and sell.
You're not getting paid for the recruits, technically. It's just that you can't really get paid without them.
It reminds me of the story of my local bikini hot dog lady (listen, I've lead a weird life in a weird town.)
She used to sell hot dogs from a cart at the side of the road wearing nothing but a string bikini and some sky-high heels. There would almost always be a line of cars waiting to buy from her. It became an issue with traffic flow so police stepped in and shut her down. She didn't have a food license and it was illegal to sell food without one.
She opened back up a little while later selling "plates, cups and napkins" - but giving away "free hot dogs" with those purchases. She wasn't technically selling food. She just to happened to be giving it away with all these plates ...
If a pyramid scheme is selling hot dogs, an MLM is selling plates and giving away a free hot dog with purchase. Same same, but different.
So MLMs aren't technically breaking the law because there's a product involved in the recruitment...
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I don't know where bikini hot dog lady is now, but I hope she is recognized for her genius. So now that we understand what makes an MLM different from a pyramid scheme (see also: nothing but technicalities) we can more easily talk about how badly they suck, how predatory they are - most importantly - how people are getting out!
Reddit user pastel-vibes-forever asked:
Things got ... enlightening, to say the least.
Making Friends
My mother did Amway years ago. She told me she quit when she realized she approached every new acquaintance with an aim to make a sale instead of making a friend.
This is what got me out of selling Insurance. It wasn't a pyramid scheme, just a bad commission job. My coworker and I were at a bar just chilling after a sh!t day, started talking to this guy, and without either of us realizing it we had launched right into the pitch.
Debt
My recruiter told me she made $400 at the party I was at. I later learned she made 25% of that.
I was told if I could get 2 people under me, I would make $400-$500 per month.
Then I was told I needed 4 people instead of 2.
Then I was $2,000 in debt with nothing to show for it.
Deleted them all and changed my phone number.
I am an owner of 2 businesses, so I thought adding a small side hustle would be an easy transition, but it turned out that as a legitimate business owner, I couldn't bring myself to use the toxic business practices that were expected of me (cold messaging, hounding people for orders, constantly reminding people about deals, etc.).
When I left, I helped the two girls who were under me get out as well, and apologized for roping them into something I thought was a good deal.
Unfortunately one lived 4 states away, and the other didn't have qualifications necessary for my fields so I couldn't give them jobs at my other businesses. I did, however, take on the debt that they had gone into to get them in the clear.
- Trawhe
Tupperware
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I've been wanting to tell this story for ages, and never got round to it.
When my husband died (abusive prick so don't feel bad for me) he left me with a tonne of debt (ok you can feel bad for me now lol). Not long after he died I had gone to a Tupperware party for a friend, and made some positive comment about one of the products, and that put me on the presenter's radar. This presenter happened to be one of those top tier ladies that ignored their family to make it big. She was/is the regional person. Whatever the title is.
I was BROKE. Paying off so much stuff while waiting for the life insurance to come through, you'd be surprised at the amount of companies that don't give a sh!t that you've lost a spouse, they just want their money. So Tupperware was spun as a way to earn extra money. She even gave me the starter kit without having to pay up front.
Problem was, I worked full time, and it was near impossible to book parties. I did my first presentation at my house and booked no parties. I reached out to all my friends and family and booked no parties.
The pressure from this woman was IMMENSE. She'd call me while I was at my day job. She try to convince me to quit my day job to focus on Tupperware. She knew I was broke, but she was adamant that if I quit my job I'd make it big, and before I know it I'd have a Tupperware car just like her.
She never listened to me. Even when I said to her "How do you expect me to pay my bills if I quit my job and start up Tupperware?" She had a response for everything. Nothing was based in logic and every time she called me, which was weekly, I was filled with dread.
I started to ghost her. It took months for me to work up the courage to tell her I didn't want to do it anymore. It took weeks for her to accept me "don't want to do it anymore". She dragged it on, and on, and on. Finally she sent me a curt "Leave your kit at the front door" message which I did.
She tried a couple of years down the track to recruit me again. I ignored her calls.
All I wanted to extra income to help me. I also wanted to add to my friend group. All I got was stress, anxiety, and frustration.
Business Partners
Joined a jewelry-based MLM thinking it would be cute to sell jewelry as a side hustle in July after I relocated across the country. I got roped in to the "be your own boss" and "make money while you sleep" mentality, and for a while, it boosted my confidence because I truly thought I was doing a great job running my own business. On paper, I brought in good money (about $100 per live show, which was one hour a week), but I had to ship out the jewelry to them, which ate about 20% of the profit, then the money earned went back into ordering more jewelry.
By September, once the glitz and excitement of it all wore off and I realized nothing was coming back to me, my boyfriend told me the only way to earn money in the business was to add new "business partners." I told him I wasn't interested in doing that, but that was part of the scheme. I was so hurt by the people who had roped me in to the business. So I quit that same day. Luckily, I made it out with only like $30 lost, but I still have a ton of jewelry and packing materials taking up space in my house.
Do Not Contact
I joined Primerica, I didn't see any red flags at first but small ones started popping up.
Like my team leader telling me to basically live outside my means to make people think I was doing really good and then they'd join and then I'd do really good.
Or finding out all the contests ran around recruitment and not sales numbers.
I left as soon as I realized, even put my name and number on the do not contact list.
Blew a lot of money trying to make that work only to realize I wasn't going to make any money without screwing my friends.
Been there, tried that. Term life insurance and financial advising. The biggest red flag for me after joining was that everything was focused around recruiting and building a team rather than building a book of business and developing the knowledge necessary to actually help your clients. I "noped" out of there pretty quick and without any issue. I am still friends with he guy who recruited me. He does very well, but admittedly inherited his dad's book of business who started with Primerica back in the 80's and never had to build his own client base.
Didn't Even Realize
I had just started college right out of high school. Was going to an art school (i know, bad idea) and was looking for a job to do between classes. Classmate of mine mentioned CutCo, so I naively went in for an interview.
Few points to know. I had no previous job experience at all, the "office" was in the next town over, and I didn't have a driver's license at the time, let alone a car. My freaking Mom drove me to the interview. Got the job anyway.
So I get the CutCo bag of stuff to show off and was sent on my way to harass my relatives. I thought that I was only doing example shows to them, practicing for the real deal. My Dad and StepMom even bought some knives (no idea what happened to them though, last I saw they used a different set). Once I run out to people to bother, i start running into problems.
Problem 1 was i didnt sell anything other than that one set. Problem 2 was i hadn't gotten any other people to talk to. The "pyramid" part of my pyramid scheme wasnt working real well. Problem 3 was the straw that broke the camel's back apparently. I couldn't get to the weekly meetings because my mom refused to drive me across town every week (she had a long commute).
In the end I got a call from my "manager" telling me he was basically letting me go and I needed to turn in my swag bag. I told him I couldn't get to him so he had to come to me. Later that day he rolled up, o gave him the bag and that was it. Dont think I ever got my cut from the knives I did sell either.
The real kicker was that I didn't even realize it was a MLM until almost a decade later, browsing this very sub.
Heavy Boxes
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Our office had an Avon lady that would take our orders on a bi-weekly basis. She was the sweetest person, not pushy at all. Unfortunately she passed due to an illness and we did not know anyone else who sold Avon.
I got the bright idea of signing up as I read on their website that many people would join up solely for the discount. It sounded easy as I was planning on only taking orders for the office. Paid my $25 online and waited for the brochure to come in.
Our apartment was always the last stop for the UPS guy. He stopped by one evening near 8pm hauling a heavy box with AVON all over. He gave me this look of utter hatred. I felt so bad when he asked me if I had signed up to sell. That should've been a red flag.
Every time you placed an order you had to buy the catalogs which were heavy and a nuisance since I only needed two at the most for the office. Whatever small credit I gained ended up reinvested on having to buy the catalogs.
Not too long after I signed up the calls started. I began receiving calls from various people during work hours to attend meetings, to meet the regional so and so, to place orders, how to boost my sales. It became so frustrating at the time as my father became ill and had to be hospitalized so I kept having to answer every call in case it was hospice nurses or other medical staff. One woman kept calling and calling so I snapped one day. Told that I didn't plan on attending any meetings and that if she didn't understand that the first few times I told her, then she was a moron.
With everything else going on, I would forget to place the orders and I finally told the gals I would no longer sell as I had no time for it. They understood and we lost our Avon fix. It was not worth the hassle and we should have just found someone to take our orders.
On the bright side, our UPS guy was happy he no longer had to make his routine deliveries of heavy boxes that would end up chucked in the dumpster.
"Financial Hardship"
I was a call agent for Tahitian noni for the USA and Germany (now called Morinda). It was horrible fielding calls near when people's $120 monthly auto payment was due for 4 one liter bottles of juice. I couldn't cancel their subscription on late notice without a fax with their signature at least a week in advance, unless they claimed "financial hardship."
Eventually I learned that I would just need to feed them what to say and then gladly cancel for them on the phone. Total scam. Only people who made money were the early people to sign up and the founders, who are multi millionaires.
- Chasicle
Boss Babe
I know a girl who got sucked into Arbonne. She constantly makes videos on FB and instagram acting like she has this perfect life and last I heard, her boyfriend (that she claims in her husband on social media) had to call her from a gas station to see if they had any cash in the house because both their credit cards were declined and he needed gas to go to a friend's birthday party. Needless to say, he didn't go. It literally says "boss babe" on her Instagram.
It All Felt Criminal
I worked at the head office of a large MLM, and one of the OG's. Mary Kay.
You have to live, breathe, and sh!t pink. Honestly, I once got sent home from the office because I had made a cardinal mistake... I had worn a pantsuit to the office. As a woman, we were expected to wear a skirt or dress daily. I was new and didn't really think they'd get upset over a pantsuit, all things considered. I was wrong.
I know this is a different perspective, but hear me out. I didn't really know what Mary Kay was initially, all I remember is seeing the old school pink eye shadow cubes in my mom's makeup drawer. I started to discover that things were all a bit strange and ... predatory. We would run campaigns inside of universities and colleges because the older generations all "knew" what was up. The company was marketing toward these younger girls specifically because they didn't know the shtick, and hinging on the fact that we would somehow be able to convince them of making easy money. I heard a lot of horror stories the longer I worked there. Specifically from people who were angrily demanding answers from directors at the annual "Seminar" held in Toronto for Canadian Mary Kay consultants. People losing thousands of dollars. It all felt so criminal to have been a part of.
The Product Works
My ex boss brain washed me into Hempworx. I was very skeptical about cbd working for anxiety. I had tried everything and nothing had worked before. CBD actually worked, surprisingly. This was before the big hemp boom so CBD wasn't available everywhere like it is now.
So my dumb self paid the 20 bucks - luckily that's all. I thought it was rather weird that my manager kept pushing me. Talking about "Running your own business." My mom had her own business before she died. I knew it wasn't "my business" - but the CBD worked.
After trying other CBD products and getting better deals, I basically saw they were exploiting people and charging way too much for their product. I was very back and forth on whether or not to sell to people most the time. The company was terrible, but the product helped me and it did work.
In the end I paid 20 bucks and never sold anything.
Shake Shops
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Long story short, my ex and I were going through the process of making funeral arrangements for our stillborn son. The cremation cost was about $2,500 give or take. The job I had at the time wasn't paying very much and do to her mental state I opted to pick up a little extra work on the side at my friends Shake Shop.
Before I know it, I'm being roped into that good ol Herbalife bullshit. Of course, I didn't know much about them at the time I thought they were legitimate. At first, I'm there just helping wash dishes and make shakes. The next thing I know, I'm helping to recruit people and using the product myself.
I eventually left ( within a three-month window of time) when I began to notice all the red flags and they just kept piling up. You aren't allowed to have the Herbalife logo anywhere, you weren't allowed to say you were an Herbalife shop, had to explicitly used the term Shake Shop, the distributor had to pay me under the table and wasn't allowed to mention the fact that she'd been doing it. Things like that.
I was about a week in when the funeral home knocked the whole cremation down to $800 and put me on a monthly payment plan. So in truth, after a week I no longer needed to be there. But it was nice having the extra $300 a month.
But after that time spent there, my inability to ignore all the red flags, and the fact that I was peeing neon green from using the product myself, I just thanked The Shake Shop owner and left one day.
For about 14 days after leaving I had Representatives from the company calling me to ask when I was going to start up my own branch. - without getting into a lot of detail, I told them to lose my phone number.
By now, I was actually taking steps to heal and I was in no position to get into something convoluted and dishonest as Herbalife. I did research on the company and what the product actually does to your body. Armed with of the new knowledge I honestly felt guilty. To simplify it, whenever you drink an Herbalife shake, tea, and any of the sawdust they call supplements, you are killing your kidneys.
There's something to be said when a Monster energy drink is healthier than an Herbalife shake. And yet, we still have 5 "Shake shops" in an 18 mile radius from where I live.
Big Yikes
I was a "coach" for an online fitness MLM. While I do still enjoy the company as a consumer, being a coach was terrible. I joined it in a financially weak position and in a lonely time too, so I was desperate for a community. In the end, it only made my debt worse because the expectation was that you would subscribe to all the shakes and supplements and you HAD to get the newest program as soon as possible, even though it'd be part of your regular subscription months later.
Biggest red flag was uplines giving unrealistic goals with deadlines, and employing the idea of "if you aren't succeeding you aren't working hard enough, because anyone can do this" and promoting burnout by encouraging you to use all your free time towards your "side hustle". Big one: "If you have time to scroll on your phone, you have time to send invites!" like....never ever relax, work 24/7?
So basically I was super burnt out and depressed because I had a demanding full time job and was expected to treat this MLM like another full time job on top of it. Got so bad that family reached out because my "uplifting" posts were so thinly veiled that they could see how depressed I was.
Big yikes, haven't been able to do one of their programs since.
- Jfiliko
Gastric Bypass
A former coworker of mine struggled to lose weight. She was also ALL UP in Arbonne. She also had a minor physical disability, which she blamed for her inability to lose weight. She was only maybe 20lbs over weight. Well, she gained 50lbs in order to be approved for gastric bypass, after which she lost the weight...and then proceeded to say Arbonne was the cause for her weight loss.
- c8080
Look At Their Shoes
The IT guy at my old company roped me into going to a "presentation" at a fancy hotel in town on how I could "make money at home in my own time" — Naturally, being the naive person I am, I accepted. He told me to "bring a friend" if I could, which should have been the first red flag. So I roped in another friend saying there would be free food and off we went.
We get to this really fancy hotel and people are dressed in suits (I was under-dressed) and my IT guy finds us and introduces me to his "up line guy" and it was our IT Manager!! (Second red flag)
Anyways, IT guy introduces some other dude, me, and my friend (whom he had not met before and didn't bother introducing himself to) to the IT Manager by saying "These are my three guys". This was Red Flag #3.
So my friend is getting super weirded out by everyone and decides to leave. I confront him and was about to give him a guilt trip for bailing on me when he looks at me and just says, "Look at their shoes."
So I start looking around at all these people in business suits and lo and behold they are all wearing the worst shoes — some of them were even in sneakers. That's when I realized these were just people trying to put out the appearance of success where there was in fact none. I bailed with my buddy and never looked back.
Possible Side Effects
I left about five months after I joined. I started to see through dõTERRAs lovely guise at a team meeting where "cut people off" was a big theme. One of them had cut me off already when I told her I hadn't the financial income to buy 100PV to make commissions and that other oils are better quality for cheaper.
But, their usage guidelines have led to a horrible thyroid episode fueled by oils that stimulate the immune system. As my thyroid condition is autoimmune based, it was inevitable. I didn't know that the oils had an immune system effects. I suffered with a thyroid wrecking itself for months because I had no idea what the oils were doing.
Lack of warnings about potential side effects was something I should have paid attention to.
Harassing People All Day
So I got into Scentsy originally because I really liked the product. After a few months, my cousin wanted to join under me. She and I promoted and I was enjoying the extra money every month, but usually it all went right back into Scentsy.
Once I had my baby and decided to stay home, I realized I wasn't really doing as well for myself as I thought. The people who were ordering regularly from me stopped ordering and my husband and I were starting to use our extra finances to keep up with the quarterly quotas.
About three months ago, I decided enough was enough and have let my membership lapse. I still order from my cousin when I want a new wax melt. I really do enjoy the products, but unless you're harassing people all day every day, you just don't get sales.
My sponsor and up line kept telling me to do events and follow up. Get the information and follow up. I sent mailers every month to every person who purchased. I sent texts and emails. I would check in about non-Scentsy things just to keep the relationship there.
Ultimately, I stopped because it just wasn't worth the extra stress. I have since stepped out and started my own craft business- something I've wanted to do for a long time. I'm taking classes and getting certified to have a compliant product with US guidelines and I'm going to school for a business degree. There's no sales pressure or quotas to meet. I have fun and best of all, my husband doesn't complain about how I'm wasting money anymore. Lol
Forced To Leave Campus
So when I was in college in the early 2000s, this one guy I knew (who we'll call Ryan) got taken in by a MLM of some kind. I can't remember the name sadly, but he bought in big time. I'm talking missing classes we had to travel to conferences on his own dime, missing work and eventually quits, the whole deal. Ryan recruited a decent number of people he knew to do it although I'm still not sure how. I got the pitch from him at one point and it wasn't all that persuasive.
So this goes on for about a month and then every student in the entire student body gets an email blast from the campus chancellor/president. It explicitly warns students about MLMs, how to spot them, and warns that anyone recruiting for them would be asked to leave the premises.
Those of us not involved in the MLM have a good laugh at the fact that this guy's efforts apparently got to the top of the campus leadership. A few more weeks go by and we realize none of us have seen Ryan in a while. Turns out, he dropped out of school.
We were never sure if it was to do the MLM full time (which seemed to be where it was heading), if he ran out of money at some point and couldn't attend, or something else. From what I could tell years later, Ryan ended up re-enrolling and did graduate, but about four years after everyone else did.
Fight Club
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This was back in the late 80s, which just goes to show you how old the whole MLM scam is.
I lived in a small town, worked with a really lovely guy who one day mentioned he was part of this amazing new business, would I be interested in hearing him out, etc etc. I knew nothing about ''pyramid'' schemes, as they were called back then, but knew of Amway as they were a mail-order catalogue you would see in people's houses from time to time. I agreed to listen to his pitch, met him after work and he ran through the whole thing. He was going to be making millions within a couple of years, and so was I if I signed up with him.
Total sucker that I was, desperate to find some kind of life and success that could get me out of my town, I signed up. My girlfriend at the time was totally skeptical about it, she kept saying to me that I was not going to make any kind of money at all selling household cleaning products and the like to people who would have to wait weeks for them to arrive. People want that shit now, they'll buy it at their local store when they need it. You get this filter on though, you just filter out any negativity, you think you're on some genius thing.
Then I realized that, sort of like Fight Club, there were members everywhere. This whole Amway pyramid thing had gone viral through our town, every second person that I approached had already been signed up by someone else. All the others that I approached were completely not interested, and not shy of telling me what they thought of the stupidity that was spreading through town. It was this weird vibe, you had half the town - including me - running around thinking they were smarter than everybody else and had discovered a goldmine. Thankfully, it didn't take me long to realize that we were all just selling shit to each other, and bothering heaps of other people with our ''pitches'' to get people to sign up and do the legwork for us. I was running around like an idiot getting the odd sale, and all in my spare time.
The wind truly went out of my sails after a few weeks, but I was now having to fend off the Spanish Inquisition from my work colleague as to why I hadn't signed up any new recruits or sold any more dishwashing liquid. I cracked it with him one day and told him that I was no longer interested and just wanted to get on with my job and my life. Then the truly weird stuff started, and again it was kind of like Fight Club.
Every person that I encountered that was a recruit, my name was mud to them suddenly, and I was getting the cold shoulder and in some cases outright harassment as I tried to do my job and live my life. I had a security guard strip my truck down when I was leaving an industrial site that I had just made some deliveries to. Delivered to this place for years, all through the same security checkpoint and guard. He was checking for ''stolen goods'', while chastising me the whole time about abandoning ''his business''. Some friends stopped inviting me on social outings, it was total whacko weirdo cult stuff.
Eventually, this weird-assed cloud that had descended on our town just kind of lifted - I think people just realized that it was all bullshit. The dude at work, he had refused to speak to me for months, started being his normal self again. I couldn't resist one day and asked him how his business was going. Of course it had all turned sour for him, he realized that he was investing a lot of effort into something that only made him a small amount of money, so he himself had quit the whole thing. He was a bit shamefaced about it, as he should have been.
My girlfriend? Oh, how she laughed...
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.