Let's face it we all lie. But what happens when you've got a secret that's too big to contain? These people share stories about the biggest lie they've ever seen unravel.
1/13. My friend was with her boyfriend when his dad discovered he had cancer. He was distraught and went home often. It put a pretty big strain on their relationship. Finally, his father succumbed and passed away. He broke up with her shortly after. Five days later she got a call FROM HIS DEAD FATHER asking if everything was okay between the two of them. The father never even had cancer. He made the whole thing up.
2/13. I used to work with this girl at a hotel. She was front desk, I worked in banquets. Anyway, turns out she had a crush on me. We bumped into each other at a bar, and had a drink together. About a month later I start getting questioned from fellow employees and friends as to whether or not her and I were dating. We were not. I spoke to her about it, she denied it... and I kind of figured things got straightened out.
Fast forward to six months later... she no longer works at the hotel.
I get a text from my good friend, asking why I hadn't told her about my engagement. Naturally I was a little confused... so I ask a few more questions. Turns out this girl has been telling her friends that this 'relationship' was still going on. The whole time. I proposed, it was beautiful, I gave her earrings (I'm assuming she bought herself the earrings) blah blah blah.
The only way I ever found out about this, was as this girl was telling my good friend about her fiance, and showing off her earrings at work.
|Girl: Don't you love the earrings my fiance gave me!! |Friend: They're gorgeous, whats his name?
|Girl: Carbsv2!
|Friend: Oh, thats nice, I have to make a text.
A week later one of her friends that I went to college with stopped me in the hall to ask if it was true... that I was not, nor had ever, dated her.
3/13. A girl I knew in high school had a reputation for being a bit needy. One night she called a good friend of mine up sobbing because one of her best friends from college, someone my friend had never met, committed suicide. My friend went to comfort her, but she was inconsolable the whole night, couldnt be left alone. My friend stuck with her for almost a whole week, calling to check in, offering to hang out, whatever she needed.
Two or three years later, my friend sees the dearly departed has an active Facebook page. Awfully sociable behavior for a dead guy. My friend was not amused.
Hey Derpina, she posts on the fibbers wall. How is it that Dead Guy is posting on Facebook when hes supposed to be dead?
The post is deleted an hour later, no explanation.
Hey Derpina, she posts again. Im not going to stop posting until you tell me how a guy who supposedly died two years ago, a guy whose loss devastated you so much that it required my immediate presence, is able to reach out from beyond and post status updates on Facebook.
Again the post is deleted, this time with a private message: Please dont say anything else, I promise I can explain.
My friend tells her not to even bother. Shed been feeding my friend and a lot of others little white lies for a long time, but making up a story about another persons death solely for the purpose of attention was going too far. Shes never spoken to her since.
More!
4/13. My sister is very absolute in her hatred of cigarettes, so when she started dating former smoker, she made it very clear that if he started smoking again he'd have to choose between her and the cigarettes.
Well, three of four years later, after they were living together and engaged, she discovered some cigarettes in his car. She was pretty pissed, figuring he'd smoked a few while out at the bars with his friends. They got into a big fight about it and then he somehow lets it slip that he'd been smoking without her knowledge for years.
Whenever an errand needed to be run, he'd go... just so he could smoke. He'd carry mouth wash and a spare shirt so she wouldn't notice the smell. She seriously thought he was just the cleanest, most helpful guy ever.
5/13. My friend made his parents believe he was colorblind up until he was 13. He used it as an excuse for his bad grades, and used it to try and get sympathy. I was with him and his family when we were driving to a mall and he said: "woah look and that sh*t-colored car!" His whole life pretty much went downhill after that, his parents lost all respect for him. They stopped buying him all this nice things, and they were a wealthy family too. It bit him in the a** pretty good.
6/13. My coworker had been attending graduate school and my work threw him a party shortly after his graduation. He shows up to the party with his diploma - which of course is a huge red flag to everyone there (my company was full of alumni that attended the same school, and knew that you wouldn't receive a diploma for at least several weeks/months after graduation).
One of the HR ladies called up admissions to the school to verify that he was previously registered there. He was not, and was never a student. He was confronted about this and pretty much had a melt down, telling her he had issues "at home" and was currently trying to deal with them through the employee assistance program at the company. So the HR lady calls up the EAP to verify he was a client - at that very minute the guy runs into the EAP office and has another melt down. He was immediately escorted off the premises, never to return.
To put this in perspective, his employer had adjusted his work schedule for 2 years so that he could attend classes. The company he worked for is a well known engineering firm, and he worked on a government contract that required a high level of security clearance. Also, the company had an educational reimbursement program that allowed (during his time-frame) an allowance of around $10k tax free to the employee for schooling expenses, I am hazy as to if he was enrolled in this program or not. Being fired for pretty much embezzlement and lying to your employer is not a good thing.
7/13. My uncle used to have this job where he was away on business trips every other week. His girlfriend and 2 kids didn't get to see him too often, and treated him like a king when he was in town. Later we found out he was only working at Wal-Mart making minimum wage, and had another girlfriend on the side. Girlfriend #2 also treated my uncle like a king and let him live at her place for free. Girlfriend #1 found out because she had some vacation time and wanted to accompany him on his "business trip". I have no idea how he managed to hide this for so long.
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More!
8/13. My brother got accepted into an Ivy League school, dropped out after having a mental break down, and later enlisted in the Marines. We found out the truth while he was in basic training. My brother was always an overachiever in high school, but he was under an enormous amount of pressure from my parents. I'm surprised that he didn't crack sooner. My parents have pretty much disowned him now. They're really pissed off that they now have two failures for sons! I did poorly in high school, had a difficult time focusing due to a learning disability, but I managed to get into a good university. F*ck our parents, honestly. They're awful people and I'm glad they can't piggyback off my brother's achievements and brag to their friends anymore. I ain't even mad at my brother for lying.
9/13. Yesterday I learned that my favorite cousin has been a drug addict for the last two years. He was recently caught because lots of my family's belongings went missing. All of my aunt's jewelry was gone, and he hacked her Sprint account to buy two iPhones then sell them. He stole all of my grandfathers collections. He had multiple rare coin collections and stole all his class rings. My grandfather worked for Hughes Aircraft for 30 years, and my cousin stole commemorative pens given to my grandfather from Hughes for his years of loyal employment. They weren't worth much money, but Howard Hughes himself gave them to him, they have astronomical value to my grandfather. My cousin stole all these things for drug money, and for awhile nobody knew.
10/13. In college, a friend of mine cheated on her boyfriend (also, a friend of mine) with, wait for it, another friend of mine. The boyfriend and the guy she cheated on with had never met. The boyfriend I met in college, Zach, and the guy she, Melissa, fooled around with I had known since elementary school, James. The three of us, James, Melissa, and myself went out one night with a group of about 4 other people, and Zach invited the three of us over. James was very reserved the entire evening, I asked him if something was up, and he told me that he had sex with Melissa last night. I was not happy with him. We awkwardly cruised through the rest of the evening, got home, and I told Melissa I won't say anything, but she needs to come clean.
CUT TO 2 MONTHS LATER.
Zach calls me while I'm walking to a class. "Dude, Adam, she cheated on me... I can't believe this". Thinking he was talking about my friend James, I respond with the utmost remorse. I felt terrible, I knew this whole time but didn't say anything.
"Zach, man, I'm so sorry. I knew for months and wanted to say something but it just didn't seem right. I told her to come clean but I thought she would have done it sooner."
This is where it gets interesting. He comes back with "What the f*ck are you talking about? She slept with some random guy at the house last night."
Apparently, she was at our frat house the night before and slept with some random bro. One of our brothers saw it, and told Zach. Zach called me looking for a sympathetic ear, and I accidentally told him about the other guy she had cheated on him with from months earlier. He goes ballistic, she calls me up yelling and screaming about how I betrayed her (that gave me a laugh), tried to get my friend James to do the same but he didn't bite, and when it was all said and done, she transferred to a different school because nobody wanted her around.
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11/13. My cousin did not graduate college, which came as a huge shock. The university even let her walk across the stage without getting a diploma. Her parents watched her "graduate". We didn't find out until this year (she is now in her 30's so almost 10 years of lying). Not too sure how, but it involved something like her wanting money to go to nursing school and getting it from my Grandmother.
12/13. My sister went to Atlanta to go to college. My parents mortgaged their house to pay for it. Rented her an apartment in Atlanta, got her enrolled in school, buy her a cheap car, and off she goes. About a year and a half later, after bumming money for "school expenses" for the last 18 months, the parental units get curious and go to visit her at school. Up until this point, she always had an excuse for them not to visit, too busy studying, tests, etc....
Only to find several junkies living in her apartment, used condoms everywhere, drugs, the works. One of them tells my parents where to find my sister. She works at a club. She told my parents that she had gotten a part-time job as a waitress a few months before.
Well as it turns out, she was stripping. My parents got to see part of her show when they went to find her at her "waitress" job. After all is said and done, she had gone to school for about 1 month, got bored with it and dropped out. She got a bunch of "roommates" to help her party away my parents money. Somehow, my sis had gotten the school to change the address on all the paperwork to her apartment address. So my parents never got the several notifications from the school about her dropping classes. Of course, the school kept the tuition money.
13/13. One time, mom asked me to vacuum the house. I didn't want to, so I just rolled the vacuum cleaner all over the carpet to make the little lines. After I did this, I realized that if I would have just turned the vacuum cleaner on, it would have been the same amount of work.
I was not a bright child.
Curious to hear what some of these examples could be, Redditor DrDecane asked:
"What's the smallest thing that made someone unattractive for you?"
These Redditors found it challenging trying to make awkward romantic situations work.
The Silent Partner
"I once went on a date with a man who literally only spoke when responding to a question, answered as briefly and evasively as possible, and offered no reciprocating questions or remarks."
"At the end of a 45 minute struggle when we parted ways, while I was still trying to figure out why a person with such crippling social anxiety would subject himself to an interaction so far outside his ability to handle, he asked if we could see each other again sometime."
– willingisnotenough
Bad Taste
"They were a bad cook. They didn’t use SEASONINGS! It’s not an allergy thing either. They made good money too it’s not a poverty thing. Literally they liked plain chicken breast no seasonings and dry as bone. He made me a 'taco' that consisted of only unseasoned hamburger in a plain ( not even warm) taco shell 🌮. No salsa , no cheese, no cilantro.. greasy meat in a room temp shell."
"I’m not cooking 3 meals a day for 2 people for the rest of my life and I sure as sh*t ain’t eating his satanic creations."
– Winter-Ad1853
Annoying Catchphrase
"I dated a girl that had a catch phrase. I think she uses Reddit and the catch phrase is very distinct so on the off chance she sees this I won’t say it. It didn’t make a lot of sense, think if someone were to say 'If you’re there, then you’ve made it!'”
"Except she would say it in response to all sorts of random situations where it wasn’t at all appropriate. Whenever someone complimented her or me, if you talked about plans you had. Just randomly tossing it out on conversations."
"It became a turn off so quickly because I just could not wrap my head around why she said it so often. I got sick of hearing it from her. Legitimately one of the biggest reasons we broke up."
– validusrex
Some dates are just unkisseable.
Gross Deposits
"White stuff in the mouth corners."
– gardenomette
Exaggerated Masticating
"Went to dinner, they started chewing kinda loud with their mouth open. I have misophonia, so it's probably even worse for me when someone does that. Immediate no."
– Erenalianon
The Sloppy Friend
"My husband’s best friend can’t eat without getting food all over his face and making gross noises while chewing. He also is a SUPER loud drunk. And walks out of the bathroom and back to the conversation while still simultaneously zipping/buttoning his jeans and buckling his belt."
"Really sweet, funny guy and a wonderful friend to both of us. But I cannot even imagine dating him. It would probably end in murder."
– meegcabre
Food Flinger
"Jesus, I dated a guy who ate like a bird...there was food EVERYWHERE by the time the meal was done. Flinging it around somehow without me actually seeing him do it. A sneaky flinger. Picture a parakeet beak deep in a food tray filled with seeds. Just chucking the seeds. Dig, eat, fling, nope, don't like that one bite, fling over the shoulder..."
"Dude cringed when I brought out a beach towel and put it on my new couch before we started eating dinner. As I was spreading the towel, I looked him dead in the eyes and declared, 'if you damage my new, $2,500 couch, you are dead.'"
– 37-pieces-of-flair
Unsolicited texts and photos aren't always the way into one's heart.
Not The Way To Start The Morning
"He sent me selfies every morning with his good morning text."
– Witch_on_a_moped
Now What?
"Yesssssss. So awkward. Like, am I supposed to send one back? Every day?"
"We hadn’t even met in person yet."
– LeotiaBlood
It took a vacation for these Redditors to realize they were not with the kind of people they'd want to ever share a life with.
Realization During A Vacation
"On a trip to the islands. HE WAS STEALING BATHROOM TOWELS and putting all the sugar and tea packets into his bag. He was telling me to hurry and stock up as well😐 I asked him if he really planned to steal 'thousands of a** towels..' he stopped packing. This was an eye opener to me. I was turned off and we are no longer together.😎"
– Law_Yer7
Demeaning The Workers
"They went from an 11/10 to a 0/10 because they decided to berate and belittle the people who were helping us with our luggage as we got on and started our boat cruise. The rest of the trip was awkward af"
– WorstLuckChuck
At the risk of sounding shallow, years ago I briefly dated a tennis player whose winsome personality won my heart.
However, I noticed something really peculiar about him. Every time we were out walking, I noticed he had the tendency of leaning into me whenever I was on his left side while walking in tandem.
When I casually asked him about his frequent need for getting awkwardly close, he explained that his gait was affected by a condition that left him with one leg shorter than the other.
After we completed that day's rendezvous together, I subsequently ghosted him.
Okay, I fully admit my shallowness in that situation.
I'm not proud of it.
