Mother In Laws already have a reputation for being The Worst™, but insert an already embarrassing situation, and what do you have? The answer is, a recipe for a stressful ongoing disaster.
u/ch3ssclub told us her story:
My [25/F] MIL [50s/F] walked in on my husband [28/M] and I having sex, and now she keeps directing these weird remarks at me.
We've been together three years, married three months. His family invited us to join them on a trip. Our first day there, SO and I decided to have a quickie before dinner.
We gave his mother a spare key card to our room just in case, but we did not expect her to use it. I guess we were running late for dinner. She came up to see what was taking so long, tried to open the door, unlocked it on her own (even though we put the do not disturb thing up) and caught us. She stared for a second and then ran out embarrassed. My husband and I burst out laughing. He closed the door, we finished because we're monsters and went down to dinner expecting some awkward laughter and a joke or two.
MIL usually makes the innocent sex joke here and there so we didn't expect her to be traumatized or anything. But she has really made a point to direct weird, shameful remarks at me. Implying I'm a hussy for f*cking my husband, while conveniently ignoring the fact that she ignored all the signs and unlocked the door on her own.
SO has tried to talk to her but she "can't look at him". The rest of the family has no idea what happened.
TL;DR: on family trip. SO were having sex in our hotel room. MIL has spare key. She unlocked the door and walked in on us. Now she keeps trying to make me feel bad for having sex with my husband.
Here was some of the advice she got.
One
Giphy
Hold on a sec, let me dig back into the fundamentalist southern baptist mindset here. Okay.
Sex is a god-given act of procreation, and Gob made us so that our lady parts line up perfectly with men's man parts. Is that an accident? Of course not! Therefore, any sex act that doesn't involve lining up those parts the way Gob intended and mashing them together is sinful. If you have to bend down or twist or stand on your head, Gob doesn't want you to do it.
Basically, just don't do anything that might make sex fun, especially anything that might make sex fun for women. Gob doesn't like women and if they start enjoying sex, Jeebus cries and everybody loses their boners.
Two
Giphy
If she continues to refuse to talk to him, he could write her a clear note, or email or something, saying "My wife and I had sex and you unfortunately walked in on us, despite having do not disturb signs up. We aren't ashamed of what we did, and if you have a problem with it I'm not sure what to tell you. But I WILL tell you that your comments degrading and shaming my wife need to end, or we will have to have a pretty serious conversation. Do not insult my wife any longer".
[username deleted]
Three
Giphy
What the heck did she think she was going to find walking into a married couple's hotel room with a do not disturb sign up, without knocking? This is 100% on her. And it's 100% on your husband to tell her to stop the comments right f*cking now. I think this should probably be the end of MIL having a key to anything, including your home. If she has a key it's time to change the locks at home. And if she can't stop with the comments, you might need to take a time out until she can get over herself.
Four
Giphy
I would just make some remarks or jokes back about learning how to read (the sign on the door) and doesn't anybody knock anymore?
Five
Giphy
I am a Mother and MIL.
If - perchance - I had mistakenly seen such an intimate act between my son and wife - the most I would have said would have been nothing.
There is no need to "talk" about such intimate, private, marital relations with you (as it's none of her business anyway) and you don't have any obligation to do so either.
Let Mom stew and go on with your lives. Simply act as if nothing was seen. If she brings it up simply say "Oh we don't discuss private matters." Change the subject. If she persists, raise your eyebrows and walk away.
I believe within a short time things will revert to normal.
Oh - next time? Don't give Mom a spare key since she seems not to understand the basics of privacy and knocking on doors before entering.
Take care.
Nana internet hug
[username deleted]
Six
Giphy
He needs to tell her to knock it off, and if she keeps it up (or if she is doing it front of the family), tell her to knock it off and why (YOU used your key to walk into OUR room without knocking loudly, ignoring signs) in front of the rest of the family, and that if she is going to treat him and his WIFE badly, y'all are going home and instituting a period of no contact until she apologizes. Because she does not get to treat you two like sh*t.
Seven
Giphy
I'm super fascinated that the crux of this post is that MIL is making weird remarks, but the weird remarks are being glossed over entirely (double bonus confusion that no one else in this thread seems to have noticed?).
You said there were remarks, you said that it seems to you like she's using the remarks to imply you're a hussy. What has she actually been saying to you?
Your version might be totally accurate. But there is definitely a world where this is all in your head and she's being perfectly fine, and you're projecting the weirdness onto her.
Eight
Giphy
Can your husband talk to his father, perhaps? I'm sure she's been venting to him.
I find that a lot of mothers just can't let their sons go, the flip side of the fathers who threaten the boys their daughters date. You're supposed to rear children into becoming adults, and adults have intimate lives that their parents aren't part of.
Nine
Giphy
Why not call her out on her behavior at the next family meal? Make everyone aware of her ridiculous behavior. CALL HER OUT ON IT.
"Oh geez Mom, really? We are newlyweds, what did you think you were going to see when you barged in our hotel room while a DO NOT DISTURB sign was up and we were unreachable? Why on earth are you implying that my WIFE is a hussy? We are married! EVEN THE POPE APPROVES OF OUR RELATIONS AT THIS POINT! Or maybe wife should get her own room so that you'll feel more comfortable? HAHA! Your behavior is borderline hilarious. Someone pass the bread, please."
Ten
Giphy
Sometimes anger is an easier emotion to process than others and it may be easier to be angry at you than her son.
Her reaction isn't appropriate but it's up to your husband to deal with it. She possibly feels stupid for having ignored/not seen particular signs and is trying to deflect. No one is perfect and sometimes even the most experienced and reasonable of us have a hard time processing certain things. It's different knowing your child is a sexual being to actually seeing it - maybe that's what she's having an issue with?
Give your MIL some space and let her come round. Let her figure it out and don't make jokes about it for a while. Think of her as a small child who is feeling angry, hurt and confused and treat her with the kindness you'd give that child. It will all blow over but now is the time for sensitivity.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
Away Messages
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"
GiphyThe Unknown
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."
GiphyThe Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."
GiphyFiguring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."
GiphyEndless Learning
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"
GiphyMaking Friends
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."
GiphyA Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
- tsoldrin
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
- dramboxf
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."
GiphyGo Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
- dienices
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."
GiphyIt Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."
GiphyWe Used To Love Yahoo
"Yahoo Answers"
"Yahoo Pool"
- inaclick
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."
GiphyOn a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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