We all know you clicked this story looking for Karens karening the Karen. Let it never be said that I don't give the people what they want.
One Reddit user asked:
What is the most inoffensive thing you've seen someone get offended by?
Yup. It was a Karenfest in the comments. We picked out some of our "favorite" moments to share with you and ... fam ... things got rough. We're going to start with a driver who got offended that her passengers wore seatbelts. Starting. We're starting there. Imagine where it goes if that's where we're starting.
Imagine where it goes if that's where it starts!
Seatbelts Save Lives
One time someone got offended when I put on my seatbelt, thought I was commenting on her ability to drive.
Same thing happened to me! The Uber driver said "Do you wear your seatbelt when you're with your dad?"
I said "Yes"
- EMPIRES
Same thing happened to me. My uncle was driving and giving me grief over wearing my seat belt. He hit a patch of ice and fishtailed a bit right afterward. I still haven't let him live that down.
Formal Cell Phone Calls
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Maybe 22 years ago, I had a phone interview with a baking company. I didn't care to have my peers know what I was up to so I took the call on my cell phone in my car. The call was crystal clear and no technical issues.
At one point, they had mentioned the weather and asked how it was where I was. I told him that I was sitting in my car and I could see that it was actively snowing and what not. The interviewer asked me, "are you taking this call on a cell phone?" I told him I was. Then he asked me if I thought that was appropriate.
I asked him what he meant by that. He said he thought it was kind of rude to take a formal call on a cell phone. I told him I would be more than happy to conclude the interview if talking on a cell phone was an issue. If he was interested, I'd be happy to continue it the next day when I'd be at a desk.
He again repeated how rude he thought it was that I had called from a cell phone and that there was no need to continue the interview process. I disagreed with the first point but did agree with the second.
To this day, I wonder what the hell he was talking about and where he was coming from.
Religious Implications
While working tech support back during the dot com boom I had a customer get upset with me over the use of the word "icon". He said it had religious implications and he insisted I call Windows icons "little picture things"
Man this reminded me of the time my dad stopped my sister and I from using the word "awesome" to describe anything except for religious things. Because only god can do truly awesome things.
This reminds me of when I worked insurance and was telling our customer why I believed we were a great value. "Stop saying 'I believe'! That's for talking about God and Jesus Christ!"
Pretty Penmanship
When I was a child, my mum paid for something with a cheque. The cashier remarked that my mum had nice hand writing My mum flew off the handle, and we had to storm out of the shop in outrage.
To this day, I have no idea what happened.
- mozgw4
That's Not How Genetics Work
Had someone get offended by me calling my brother "bro". They insisted that I was racist and that white people can't be related to Mexicans.
Like seriously lady. That's not how genetics work. We are 100% related and are a mix of white and Native American. Its not that unheard of for one biological sibling to come out lighter or darker than the other.
And even if we weren't related... Seriously? I'm racist for calling someone close to me my bro despite being different skin tones? Seriously?
Thank you for coming to my rant session. Have a good day.
Vegetarian Options
At my wedding we marked the vegetarian items as vegetarian. This made the one vegetarian at my wedding (sister in law who hates me) fly into a catatonic rage because we are singling out the vegetarian food as vegetarian and not treating it as normal food.
Then how the fck are people supposed to know its vegetarian?
Your sister in law sucks! As a vegetarian who knows many other vegetarians (and some people who are not vegetarian but have allergies to seafood and certain meats) everyone I know would be very happy with veggie foods being labeled as such.
Most of us don't want to have to ask and make a big deal of it. Your sister in law just chose something to rage about because she's a POS.
The correct response is (as a vegan myself): "Wow, thank you for considering me on your special day! Hope you have a wonderful marriage!"
I've gone to so many parties and weddings that didn't have a single veggie/vegan option and you know what, I just ate something before and after. It's not about you and it's totally awesome of the planners to think of alternative diets.
- TheWildTofuHunter
Sandwich Etiquette
A sandwich. I kid you not. My Ex husband was given a sandwich by our then 13 yr old daughter. Because she cut the sandwich, he went off on a massive strop about how his sandwiches should never be cut etc. The poor kids face, she was crushed. It still winds me up to no end every time I think about it.
WOW! I thought my... soon to be ex husband, was the only a-hole who did this. When we first moved in together, it was my "job" to make his lunches. I made him a sandwich and cut it in half and he flipped on me, that he wasn't a "child" and his coworkers would "make fun of" him. Like seriously? It's a SANDWICH.
My dad was like that, and got upset that I put mac and cheese in the left tray part of his favorite plate thing instead of the right— please get her into therapy if you haven't yet, lord knows I needed it.
Retardant
I once listened to my boss try to lecture the Fire Marshall because he was talking about something being flame retardant (her reasoning was you should just call it fireproof because retardant was an awful word.). It was one of those times where I really should have tried to stop her but instead I just stood off to the side probably making a surprised Pikachu face.
I got an angry call from a client at the vet hospital I used to work at. She was angry that the doctor had written in her dog's chart something along the lines of "chemotherapy has retarded the growth of the tumor". She was deeply offended that the vet called her dog retarded.
The funny thing, is fireproof and fire retardant have two different meanings also. If he said fire proof that may not even be accurate.
- Schtormo
Bacon
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This guy at a Halloween party I was at was dressed in a giant bacon costume.
Some girl was yelling at him for being so offensive toward Jews and Muslims (she was neither Jewish nor Muslim). One of the Muslim guys at the party asked her what the f*ck she was talking about but she didn't back down lol
I have no idea why people feel they need to go out of their way to be (inaccurately) offended on behalf of other cultures/religions
This is basically 80% of online/social media social justice discourse. It's usually a load of white people getting offended on behalf of whatever group they perceive is being slighted, regardless of whether said group gives a shit.
Unique Spelling
I told my my sister in a PM that it's "1st" not "1rst" after she posted something on Facebook with the spelling error. She flipped out saying how I'm a "bully" and I need to "appreciate that her spelling is more unique".
She's 27
From now on, send her daily lists in the form of;
Onest, Twost, Threed, Fourer, Fiver, Sex, Several, Ayt, Nein, Ten.
Don't even worry about the content. To-do lists, fun facts, your favourite foods by category. Go wild. Let her know you're turning Twaty-Nein soon and did she get you a cake? Absolutely go nuts with this, even if this story is a year old. You gotta.
- Raiquo
Tickle Time
I had a coworker who got mad at me because I asked her not to tickle me.
(a) That's inappropriate at work; (b) we're not children, we're not in a relationship, we're not family; (c) I DON'T LIKE BEING TICKLED.
She flipped out and said everyone likes being tickled and I was being mean to her. Happily my boss had my back.
This happened over a decade ago, I don't work with that woman or for that company. In fact, even the company doesn't exist anymore.
I am also a woman.
The coworker was very young and immature. This was her first job, her first time in a professional environment, and she really had no clue about professional workplace behavior. I wasn't upset because she truly thought she was being friendly.
But I still don't like being tickled.
- xelle24
Violent Imagery
I managed a small, new team that had no procedures or policies, so I set about instituting some. I told the team: "I mean, you never know, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and then no one would know how to process these requests."
Then I asked for their feedback and for them to write up how they did their tasks. We would then come back together and decide best practices in a meeting.
Little man filed a complaint to the manager for my use of "violent imagery" and said that he felt threatened. It was a whole thing. Ultimately, he got fired. Not just over this, but he was a legitimately terrible employee with real issues having a woman in charge. Fck him, byeeeeeeeee.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...