Not everyone who needs some money has the most convincing story. Some of these stories are, in fact, outlandish.
Just in case you don't know this yet: You can't ask for a loan to pay off debt you already owe the bank. And you certainly can't write off cosmetic surgery as a business expense.
We figure most of you know this stuff, though, so you'll appreciate today's burning question from Redditor Moxman73, who asked the online community, "Bankers/Lenders of Reddit, what is the most bizarre loan you have seen people apply for?"
"Someone called in..."
I work in 401(k) administration. You can take a loan out on your 401(k) depending on how the plan is set up.
One of the provisions for many plans is that you can take a $5000 loan if you have a baby or adopt.
Someone called in asking to take a loan because their friend had a baby. Ummmmm, what? No, we won't give you $5000 whenever someone you know has a child.
"He closed his accounts..."
I worked as a bank teller in college. My branch had a guy try to take out a $60,000 personal loan to help his girlfriend in Russia pay off border control so she could finally come join him in the US after a two-year exclusively text-based relationship. No matter what we said, he remained firmly convinced that she existed and was in love with him and that the $30,000 he'd already sent "her" was money well spent.
We didn't give him the loan. He closed his accounts on the spot, taking the entire <1,000 he had left with him.
"She wanted to draw down..."
An older lady wanted to draw down $100k to send to her friend in South Africa that she had never met, we kept declining the application and eventually had to get her Son involved because she refused to believe she was getting scammed. I think he ended up trying to get POA on her accounts. She wasn't all there.
"I used to practice..."
I used to practice the art of personal loans, someone wanted $10,000 to buy a ranch in Tennessee, and we were in L.A., so I asked him how he planned to buy a ranch in Tennessee with only $10k. He then ran away without a word. To this day I still wonder what he really would have done with the 10k if I had given it to him.
"One of my coworkers..."
One of my coworkers had a customer get approved for a business credit card and he quickly used that to spend 10k on breast enhancement for his wife.... When we asked him how this could even be considered a business expense he told us, "Well she's in sales..."
"So we had a guy..."
So we had a guy come in wanting a car loan for a used diesel truck. The truck was 15k.
Unfortunately the truck had high milage and his credit wasn't the greatest and we could only approve him for 6k and 15% interest. It was not a good loan and I told the customer as much. I advised finding a lower mileage, newer vehicle and waiting six months to repair minor credit issues in order to get a lower interest rate.
He insisted on getting that truck right that very moment. He proceeded to tap into his retirement funds. Probably paid some insane penalties and taxes, paid the 9k down payment and signed the paper work for the loan.
Three months later he sold the truck at a loss.
"I once had an older client..."
Former Client Facing Banker, I finally have stuff to contribute to an Askreddit! I have a couple weird ones:
- Not a new loan/credit issuance, but I once was reviewing my book and noticed a clients HELOC was nearing the end of its draw period; I did a little digging hoping to make some cash on a refinance and noticed that well over 20k had been drawn in the last 12 months in unusually small transaction amounts (under $20), turns out candy crush can just freaking wreck your finances...
- I once had an older client (75+) come in looking to apply for a business loan to help develop a video game. Being a closeted nerd, naturally I asked what kind of game, and there I heard the most scattered video game concepts in the world. Apparently it was inspired by Ready Player One, but honestly it just sounded like second life. I mentioned that and I then proceeded to have to listen to an old man talk about the weird sex stuff he experiences playing second life. I'm pretty sure I blacked out for a few seconds in my office from the awkwardness.
"A woman called asking..."
A woman called asking for a personal loan to pay the negative balance in her account that she owed us.
"He had a guy..."
Giphy
We had a guy who needed just a little more money to catch the Sasquatch. He had a guy that was willing to pay him billions of dollars once he caught it.
It sounds like a joke but the guy was dead serious.
"Gentleman came into my small local credit union..."
Gentleman came into my small local credit union to apply for a car loan. Great, what kind of car is it? "A Jeep." Awesome! What's the exact model? "Uh, it's custom." Well, what year is it? "1989." Oh, hmm, a little on the older side... And the mileage? "Not sure, the guy I'm buying it from is in [different state]." Oh, I'm sorry sir, it would have to be registered in-state. "Oh. Well, do you know how to register a monster truck with the DMV?" ...Excuse me? "Yeah, the Jeep's been converted to a monster truck. I'm not just gonna drive it around." Oh... I'm so sorry, we won't be able to finance your... out-of-state, vintage, monster truck.
I try my best to follow the law. And Lord knows how well I'm doing. There are so many obscure laws for ridiculous things, yet, scamming people of their life savings is a free pass. I'm confused... apparently, so are many others...
Save a Life
drag race drugs GIFGiphy"Hiking up prices of life saving medications. (Insulin, epi-pens, etc.)".
The Hands of Time
"Advertisement like "anti-aging" is absolutely preposterous."
"I would love to see a massive class action lawsuit against any skincare that proposes "anti-aging". Watch a judge rule in the plaintiff's favor citing that the products did not actually turn back time."
Credit
"Your credit score goes down because you cancelled a credit card."
"You want to have multiple lines of credit that you're responsible with, preferably for a long period of time, because it proves you're a reliable borrower. If you have no debt, it's almost like you've not established credit at all. Your score goes up the more lines of credit you have. It's bonkers. Someone more financially literate than me could probably explain better, though."
- isocleat
The Devil
Kate Mckinnon Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Hi, I'm X. We're trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty."
- Mtt76812
I'm at the end of my tether with these car warranty calls. I swear to God... nevermind. And advertisements needs to be more regulated. That is a start at better fixing justice.
Extra $$$
Happy Credit Card GIF by HollyoaksGiphy"Convenience fees for online ticket purchases. Why am I getting charged for saving on paper, ink, and everyone's time?"
You're Cancelled
"Companies making it really difficult to cancel things. Especially subscriptions. I think the process to subscribe to something to should be exactly the same as the process to cancel it. I'm looking at you spotify."
"Gyms in general. before they started popping up everywhere I was a member at LA fitness."
"Well I moved 2hrs away from the closest one and they wanted me to come in person to cancel, then they wanted me to send in a damn letter. I can signup online, why can't I cancel online?"
- Rektw
No muss, no fuss.
"Printer ink being ridiculously expensive for no reason."
"Buy a laser printer. Here's my oft-told tale of woe: School got out so my kids no longer had homework to print. A month or so later we needed to print a document. Our Kodak injket printer not only refused to print but said we needed to buy a new ($90) print head because the old one had gummed up, because we'd gone too long without printing."
"I went to the local office supply store and bought a Brother laser printer. It scans, it copies, it uses wifi, and most importantly it just works.About twice a year when we need to print something I go and get it out of my garage and bring it into the house, set it on the kitchen counter, plug it in, and print to it."
"It works great - even remembers my wifi settings (SSID and password) from the previous time. No muss, no fuss. If I really want to print something in color I'll use Kinkos. Turns out I literally never need to print in color."
Child Currency
"Using children to monetize your social media channels."
"It's honestly sad that their parents force them to be the face of their social media accounts, since the children will never have a normal childhood due to their fame."
Bot Thieves
Theatre GIF by StubHubGiphy"Bots buying tickets and up-charging the crap out of the price."
- pgh613
Those ticket thieves need to be taken down. No Broadway show is worth $1000! Don't fall for it kids. That mess needs to be cleaned up. There is actual crime happening to the naked eye. Let's focus there.
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