About ten years ago, I owned a property preservation company. Property preservation doesn't mean upgrading it. Literally just maintaining it in whatever condition it was currently in. We closed the company because federal rules kept changing and were impossible to keep up with.
Our favorite was "The Winterizing Rule."
Every year we had to go around to all of our properties and complete this whole "winter readiness" process that included things like making sure snow shovels are easily accessible, treating the pipes, having plant blankets ready in case of frost, etc. It was a decently time consuming and expensive process.
Oh, by the way did I mention I live in South Florida and most of these properties were in Miami?
Yeah, no matter how many times we explained that we don't need to winterize and that we can't even GET snow shovels most of the time, we couldn't get the banks to understand. You have no idea how many half-panicked people we have spoken to on the phone about this.
It never mattered. The answer was always the same. No we could not, in any way, skip or cut back on winterizing. Hard rule. Must prepare for winter. What will you do when it snows??!?
WINTER IS COMING!
Reddit user IAmHungryAndTired (us too, homie) asked:
What is the most stupid rule you've ever seen?
Yeah... it's looking like quite a few of us have had to deal with wave after wave of rules that made no sense. Kick back and enjoy some people who had to deal with their own personal "winter."
Every Half Hour
A personal favourite of mine was having to clean supermarket toilets every half-hour.
Since we weren't allowed to start until the bathroom was empty, it always took at least 10 minutes to get started.
From there, we had to restock soap & roll, brush and mop the floor and wipe toilets, urinals and sinks (different cloths), which took a minimum of 15 minutes if you half-assed it.
Finally, you weren't allowed to let people in for 10 minutes after mopping to allow the floor to dry.
After being pulled up for not cleaning them every 30 minutes and explaining the problem, I got an official written warning. Naturally, I then closed the toilets to make sure they were empty and did everything as instructed, which got easier as the day progressed since the toilets never actually opened for use.
Restaurant Rules
New rules at the restaurant I work at.
We are no longer allowed to order food while clocked in and can only get our employee discount after working at least 5 hrs. Also, we can't eat in the break room anymore. Or in the lobby.
Where and when am i supposed to eat? Also, I should add that I close at the restaurant I work at, so kitchen is closed by the time I clock out. Functionally they just told me I'm not allowed to eat on days I work.
- NE09_GxT
Locked
The middle School I went to has a rule that if you have an F, then they will lock your school-issued laptop to only be able to access email and classroom. This means that the research paper due tonight can't be done since you cant access the internet to research it or a word processing program to write it - thus lowering your grade further.
- Cayden5
No Talking
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At my last job we technically weren't allowed to have conversations with co-workers. Upper upper management said it was because customers might get anxious about interrupting conversations. Lower management (my immediate bosses) never actually enforced that rule.
- JLHeavy
The Front Door
When I was a kid, my parents had a rule that we weren't allowed to use the front door of the house. My parents weren't the kind of people who explained themselves to their children, so to this day I have no idea why this was the rule.
One day while climbing a tree, I was stung by a venomous caterpillar and it was both extremely painful and I had a bad allergic reaction. The front door to the house was locked, so I pounded on it until my sister came and she refused to open the door. she kept saying "go around...go around" as I was crying and gasping for air.
The last thing I remember is collapsing and looking up at my sister through the window who was smiling smugly.
apparently a neighbor saw my lying there and called 911 and I was taken to the hospital and recovered just fine. But my sister never so much as apologized, even as an adult she defends her action as "we weren't supposed to use the front door".
Former Flat Earthers Explain What Finally Made Them Come Around | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The Forbidden Hallway
Our vice principal in high school had some kind of obsession with stopping "loitering." I guess she forgot things called "breaks" and "spare periods" for seniors exist. In her infinite wisdom she decided that the best way to combat this loitering epidemic was to first close the front hallway by the office to any student traffic from 9am when class starts to 3pm when it ended.
The presents a few problems.
One, some people have lockers in this hall and need to get stuff in between classes.
Two, the way our school was built if you couldn't use this hallway you literally had to go outside to get from one wing of the school into the rest of the school.
Also if you got sent to the office for any reason not only were you in trouble for that, but also now you're in trouble for using the hallway as well which was an automatic detention for anyone caught using the hallway.
It later escalated to essentially not being allowed to be inside the school unless you were in class or in the cafeteria at lunch time. So if you had a spare period you were pretty much stuck sitting up at McDonald's or driving around aimlessly. Students had to start renting out the trunks of their cars as lockers since the risk of using your own locker was too high.
Eventually the entire staff had enough of this, including our school cop who all this time had been refusing to actually charge anyone with loitering, hence the detention punishment, because in his own words "this is the stupidest f*cking rule I have ever heard this woman is insane." They got the school board involved and she was relieved of her duties.
- kg106
Harmonious
When I worked in China they had a rule that you had to keep your desk in a way that was "harmonious". Stuff like your stapler had to be at a right angle to your keyboard, stuff like that.
- ooo-ooo-oooyeah
Like Hitting
In my middle school we weren't allowed to high five each other because it was "like hitting."
- jec3rd
Adult Scissors
I used to work at a big oil company, the one which very fittingly rhymes with hell. We were not allowed to use "adult scissors" without proper training. Until someone had completed said training, only the brightly colored plastic and extremely dull "children scissors" could be used.
Wait
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If the fire alarms go off at our school we have to wait for an announcement or for relief before we can either do the drill or run for our lives.
Everyone thinks it's dumb and our teachers were told that it's because of school shootings and they want to make sure it's a legitimate emergency; but if there is an honest fire then that's more dangerous I'd think. Plus it's hell for the kids with auditory triggers involving loud noises or sirens.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.