Trauma - some of it can't be fixed, and the people on the front lines of therapy confront the worst of the worst. Brace yourself, these are some harrowing stories.
LetsArgueAboutNothin asked mental health professionals of Reddit: What is the saddest case of "wow this person really fucked up because of how they were treated during their childhood" you have ever come across?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
One of my first cases when I first started in the mental health field and I'll never forget. I was providing therapy to a young girl who was pooping on herself after holding it in for as long as she could. Mom originally thought it was some kind of anxiety or fear of the toilet but after a couple more sessions I found out that the girl was being abused by her step father... it was heartbreaking to find that out and a hell of an introduction to the field.
Edit: Not sure if this is ok to do here but as a way to help people that don't have access to mental health services I started providing free mental health advice/ answering psychology related questions a few months ago through the form of social media and videos. If anyone is in need of assistance feel free to inbox me and I will provide you with my information. Thank you!
He is in jail for a long time, the investigation discovered several other things that sealed the deal for him. He won't be bothering the family for a good long while.
Money is not love.
Looked after a 14 year old, she was in hospital for her 15th birthday. Multiple suicide attempts (I'm talking 20+). On her birthday she wanted to call her mum, I let her but had to listen in (standard procedure). Her mum didn't say happy birthday but asked what she wanted, telling her she'd buy anything she wanted. Daughter said she just wanted to see her. Mum said she couldn't do that but she'd send presents. This girl was the daughter of two 'successful,' very wealthy lawyers. All she wanted was to see/spend time with them but they thought they could just throw money at her until she was 'better.' Money can't buy happiness. It's been a few years now and I wouldn't be surprised if she's had a completed attempt by now.
It's so sad how resigned your last sentence is.
There's this twisted thing.
I worked in corrections and on Sundays there would be coffee with breakfast. One of my female inmates always vomited and basically it turned out that as a teen her dad would assault her then buy her coffee to make himself feel less guilty about it. The sight or smell of coffee made her projectile vomit even a decade later.
What kind of sh*tty gesture is that ? How is coffee supposed to make any of this better ?
This is called "love bombing." The abuser gives gifts or attention to their victim as a way to alleviate their guilt about the abusive episode. We were poor, so my dad got me ceramic cat figures from the dollar store the day after he abused me. It gave me quite a bit of satisfaction to smash them as an adult.
When you've simply had enough.
Had a kid show up in my office saying he had not eaten all day. He missed his bus and just seemed to not want to leave. I call home and mom was not answering. The parents were divorced, so I called Dad. It was about 8:00 PM by this point. Dad answers and is obviously drunk off of his @ss at a bar (I heard the noise and music). I explain the situation and the dad says he will get someone to drive him to come pick him up. He never showed up.
About 10:00pm on a Tuesday or some sh*t now, so I call the police and they assist. Learned that the mother had overdosed on heroin and was found dead in the house. The father never showed up, and I was told he never tried to be a part of the kids life.
This kid had some terrible facial disfiguration from birth due to the mother using drugs and drinking during pregnancy. I have no idea how the kid was never removed from custody. I spent a lot of time with him because he didn't like people looking at him throughout the school day. I didn't give a f*ck about his grades, I just wanted him to enjoy something in life. We would watch old WWF clips because he loved wrestling.
He's dead now. Killed himself.
I switched careers after I heard that. F*cked me up. I tried to help.
Edit: thanks y'all.. I hate thinking about it sometimes, but I love thinking about some stupid little moments with em.
You tried and he probably remembered you for that. It's not your fault that he was in that situation or that no one else did their job to get him out. Something that you have to remember is that you can't control anything beyond the classroom, you gave him something safe and good while he was with you that's what matters.
"Fun time cuddles."
Working in group care, I had a client whose parents would sell her body, from to 'regular' travellers through town in exchange for drugs and money. Her family and extended family would tell her these people were friends and needed 'fun time cuddles' and that she was the best daughter that anyone could have because she was special for doing this.
When I was working with her in her teens she didn't trust anyone that ever gave her compliments, and would often have panic attacks when people said she did a good job at something or was skilled at something. Was the saddest fallout of abuse I think I've ever seen. She had several suicide attempts and a lot selfharm.
Last I heard (years ago), she's doing a lot better now after finding a good match for a therapist. I sincerely hope her family never sees the light of day again, and that some bad things happen to them in prison.
When one of my best pals was little, his parents used to inject him with heroin and crack cocaine... He said his social workers think it was because they wanted to test the drugs to be sure it wouldn't kill them before they used. He can't even see needles now almost 20 years later because they upset him so much and it crushes me as a friend.
That being said? He's now the most proud and protective father I've ever met. He'd do anything for that little girl of his and is one of the most loving parents I've ever seen. It's really amazing to see all the good that he's brought into the world as a person when dealing with so much f*cking pain.
Humans are depraved creatures.
While doing my psych clinical's over 20 years ago, we had this poor patient that was so abused as child. This took place in the 70s. Her father had a casket at his house. I can't remember if he worked at a funeral home or how he ended up with a casket. He drilled a hole just big enough so a straw could go through it. He would put his daughter in there and close the lid and gave her a straw to put through the hole so she can breath through the straw. He left her in there for extended of time. The poor girl was destroyed. As the psychotherapist was telling our group the story, our group were in tears. How can someone be this f*cked up to do this to their own child. The poor girl is so messed up and cannot live a normal life due to all the trauma this has caused her.
Edit: Many asked how she was destroyed. This abuse took place over her childhood till adulthood. In the 70's, child abuse was overlooked and often not believed by the child. Who would believe that a person would have a casket in their home. She was placed in a lock down facility and as students, we never had her as a patient. The psychotherapist explained that she did not meet her milestones and acted as if she was in the wild in away. She was probably oxygen deprived that also affected her brain. The poor girl basically grew up throughout the years being put in that dark airtight casket with a straw to breath through. It was so long ago and cannot remember the details how she turned out other than she is in this locked facility and has trigger points that sets her off. Our clinical group was crying all day after hearing this case. This broke me and realized that I cannot ever be a psych nurse. I am sure she suffered other abuse. Most of the patients in the psych facility were from an abusive parents. The next population was drugs, alcohol and chemical imbalance. To be honest, I felt in my own mechanism, I shut down after hearing the casket and straw bit. I could not handle it and felt sick all day.
Yeah this would mess me up too.
I worked at a psychiatric hospital for guys who had successfully argued Not Guilty for Reasons of Insanity pleas. One guy had murdered his neighbor after they had some kind of normal neighbory dispute. He told me, in detail, how he grew up on a farm and his dad would kill one of his dogs in front of him every time he acted out as a child.
The state psych hospitals are the worst of the worst. We keep shrinking the size and displacing people, pretty much anyone crazy enough to warrant a bed will have a backstory that gives you nightmares.
I'm a security guard on a psych unit. I once had a patient refuse her medicine, which is a fairly common occurrence. Normally, that's fine. The doctor will convince them to take their meds the next day. However, this girl was extremely psychotic. In some cases, we have to hold patients down for a shot. As soon as we walked in the room, this girl started screaming "Daddy please don't! I promise I'll stop! No! I'll be good!" She got the shot and just curled up and started bawling. This was the saddest forced shot we've ever had to give and all of us left the room completely silent.
Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.
I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.
Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,
"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
"Their cast iron pans..."
"Lodge. Their cast iron pans are super durable and can last a lifetime."
Not just a lifetime. Your Lodge cast iron will outlive you, if (and even if you don’t) take care of it. Even if they get rusty they can be resurfaced. And damn is it satisfying to resurface a forgotten cast iron pan.
Asics, specifically the Gel-Nimbus series. I've suffered from joint pain and unbearable plantar fasciitis from a relatively young age... These shoes are life savers. Very pricey and I don't love the look of tennis shoes of any type but nevertheless I will praise these shoes to the end of days. Hopefully, I will always be able to afford them once a year.
Glad to hear you've found some much-needed relief!
"Warranty and service..."
"Victorinox. Excellent pocket knives, multi tools and their kitchen knives are probably the best ones you can get under 100 USD. Warranty and service is top notch."
Anyone who cooks, but can't afford or doesn't want to invest in a professional-grade chef's knife should get a Victorinox. They aren't nearly as good as a top tier professional chef's knife, but they are night and day compared with everything else in their price range.
"This one brand..."
"This one brand of granola bars called Sunbelt Bakery. Every other granola bar brand is so dry I can't eat them anymore."
Yes, these are so good! An excellent choice.
"Dickies. High quality pants. They're meant to be work pants so they're pretty durable and breathe well. Very comfortable."
"High quality" is right. Those pants last forever.
"It helps clean..."
"Dawn dishsoap. It helps clean dishes and it's great when one of my kids has an accident and I have to wash their clothes. Sometimes leaves a small stain but no smell. It has saved so many outfits."
Fantastic – it sounds like you should be their salesperson.
"They don't use..."
"New Balance. They don't use slave labor to make shoes."
They are comfortable and fit well.
I personally still don't like the aesthetics of many of their shoes, but still recommend them to people who want a good shoe.
"They are a retailer..."
"REI. Stand behind everything in their store. They are a retailer but you can beat something up they sell and they give you a full refund."
Many people use them for shoes, for camping gear... all kinds of stuff. They're very reliable.
"I wear my Timberland boots..."
"I wear my Timberland boots almost every day, I’ve had them for almost ten years, and they’re still just about as sturdy as they were the day I bought them."
These shoes tend to last forever. "Durable" is the perfect word.
"One large bottle..."
"Dr. Bronner's Castile soap. One large bottle lasts me about a year and I use it for everything. No toxic BS in them like pretty much every other soap and they smell fantastic."
"Also when I say everything I really mean it. All purpose cleaner, dish soap, body wash, shampoo, carpet extractor wash, dog shampoo, it’s called 18 in 1 for a reason."
If you're interested in the story behind the company, the documentary Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox might be right up your alley.
See? Not all brands are terrible. After reading about some of these, it might be time to change of your buying habits.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.