People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.
Sometimes not liking a food is just a matter of trying it prepared a different way—sautéed instead of boiled, raw instead of cooked, chopped up really small.
But sometimes there's just no way to hide the texture of a particular food and, if you don't like it, it will ruin any dish it's a part of.
Redditor ohnoghostface asked:
"What’s a food that you hate the texture of, no matter how many times you try it?"
"This is probably a weird answer but fat. I mean the white or kind of clear lard that you can have on meat. It doesn't really taste like anything, but I will gag and probably vomit if I have to eat it. Same with chewy meat."
"The texture is just disgusting.. when you eat a piece of fat and it turns out to be quite hard and rubbery I can't swallow it. Or some sausage that have big chunks of white fat in it.. disgusting. Why am I like this?"
"Slime isn’t suppose to be okra shaped."
"My husband Love it.... UGH... I cant even stand the smell!!!"
"But I like Spicy pickled Okra.... its the only way I will eat it, cooked? No Way Jose!!!"
"Liver. It’s always grainy after a couple chews."
"I fail at the smell and flavor of liver long before even getting to the texture."
"i don't like the thought of creamy smooth meat"
"Like salty phlegm"
"Lima beans, Could never choke ‘em down. Gaggity gag gag."
"I'll gaggity gag gag right there with you. Growing up it was, 'No dessert until you eat those lima beans!' Fine, no dessert then. Then it was, 'Just eat 3 lima beans and you can be excused.' Nope, I'll sit here all night. I despise them to this day, at 63."
"Oatmeal. I've tried several types and they all make me gag and almost vomit"
"I’m the same. It smells so good, but I just can’t do it."
"When made as directed it's like wet cardboard. The first time I ever had it as a child I literally gagged."
"I make it once in awhile now but I use MUCH less liquid than directed and then it has a nutty taste. It's hard to get the right proportions though to make it edible so I rarely bother."
"Pears. Too grainy. I can’t get over fruit having that kind of texture when chewing it."
"F**k em grainy fruits"
"Water chestnuts. The flavor isn't great, but the texture is awful."
"I am glad to have found my person! I never have texture issues with anything else, but water chestnuts make me feel like I'm chewing on glass."
"Most hated vegetable in a stir fry!"
"Onion. Something about the smoothness of it combined with the crunch just doesn't work. And you can't change my mind."
"I love the taste of onion, but hate the texture. Like if something is onion flavored (like Indian curry) it's usually great. But the texture just ruins it when I can actually feel it in my mouth while eating."
"I recently had some Mac and cheese that had onions in it. Idk what psycho thought that was okay but I hope they lose their job as a cook before they ruin anymore classic dishes with unnecessary ingredients."
"Snails. The first time I tried them the server described them as mushroom-like. I could understand why they said that, but no. Much firmer- almost rubbery- while also being... gooshy. And briney to the point of almost tasting like they went bad. I tried 2 more times thinking they may have just not been made well before I gave it up."
"They were a fad (where I was anyway) back in the 70s. Every kitchen seemed to have snail cookers and servers of one sort or another. But the unspoken truth was that they mostly served as a vehicle to get the seasoned garlic butter in which they were drenched into your mouth*. They were okay, but I can't say I really know what one tastes like."
"*a slab of baguette sopped up the rest"
"Same, not a bad flavour at all but the texture...Shiver"
Some foods just aren't for everyone, and food aversions are a very real part of a lot of people's lives.
If someone says they can't eat something, just trust them.
Trying to get them to eat it anyway might have some very unpleasant consequences for all involved.
We have a problem with guns.
Not just America, but humans in general.
Too many lives have been lost.
That's why it's so scary to think about a moment when one is directly pointing at you.
And you lived to tell the tale.
Redditor Vegere wanted to hear from everyone who has come face to face with weaponry and feels like sharing.
So they asked:
"Redditors who had a gun pointed at you, how are you still alive?"
Thankfully I have yet to face a real gun. I pray that continues.
Stop That!season 2 gun GIF by PortlandiaGiphy
"Friend was given a .22 handgun for his 8th-grade graduation. He started waving it around, I said stop that. He said it isn't loaded and pulled the trigger. The bullet went through my hair right above my right ear. Never spoke to that dumba** again."
Out of There...
"I was living in a rough neighborhood a couple of years ago. One evening I was walking to the local grocery store when I suddenly walked into this huge dude (195cm and 90kg so I'm not a small person myself). Before I knew it i was surrounded and dragged into an alley and had a gun pointed at me. One of the guys asked me to show an ID."
"At that point I thought they were under cover cops, but them all wearing balaclavas made me doubt that. I showed the my ID and they patted my shoulder, shook my hand and said they're sorry for getting the wrong guy. Then they left. Gangs were basically running that neighborhood and they were most likely looking for someone who owed them money."
"And I must've looked just like that guy. It could've been very traumatic but the fact that they apologized afterward actually made me feel safe lol, and I just shrugged it off. Still glad I'm not living there anymore though."
"Have a nice day"
"Some parts of my country are just chaos. My dad was fixing this telecom tower like usual and I would go with him every once in a while. But this time is different, it was like 11pm and the area we went to is... you could say 'above the law' so the tower is in a mansion and we couldn't find anyone to tell them we're here but you could access the tower so my dad did anyway. After an hour, my dad was done and drove away, it was fine until he noticed 3 cars following us."
"He parks and a bunch of guys with guns walk out of their cars. My dad was chill trying to give them the car key, it's the company car anyways. Then they saw the company's logo on the car and they went 'oh' It was a misunderstanding and they were like 'have a nice day.'"
No Booze Please
"The person was playing around and thought the gun was unloaded. He pointed it at my head and was about to pull the trigger when my husband, who had been raised to learn that you never, ever point a gun at anyone grabbed it away from him. It turned out the gun was loaded. The person was an alcoholic and forgot that he had loaded the gun last time he got drunk."
"First time, armed robbery while at work years ago. He just wanted the money from the register so no big deal there. Second time… I didn’t even know a gun was pointed at me. Random shooting, I took a bullet to the back of the head while driving. Alive due to sheer luck."
Guns and people... what a mix.
Not Mei give up GIF by Venom MovieGiphy
"My vehicle fit the suspect description, but I didn't."
"My dad was screwing around with a rifle pointing it at his sister and to his surprise it went off. It missed her but put a hole through the wall. My dad knew he'd be in trouble when his parents came home so he decided to go to bed early."
"His dad was a scrap iron recycler and was lifting heavy things all day. He could easily do one handed push ups."
"My dad said the next day his dad woke him up and without saying a word, motioned for him to go outside. His dad pointed to a tree. To this day, my dad has no idea how his dad wrapped the rifle around a tree, but there it was."
In the Forest
"Years ago , first real job I was in training as a forest ranger and came upon a large group of men night hunting standing by several dead deer ,all were armed and as I exited the vehicle many of the guns were pointed in my direction. In training I was not armed and as they realized it guns were lowered. I was alone, unarmed, outnumbered and should have been writing summonses but I was just glad to leave."
"I let the gun holder make the first moves. I didn't talk unless I was addressed first. I didn't move unless I was told to. I didn't try to run or leave until he left.
"And then I peed myself."
"Similar situation. I was stuck up in college (west Philly) and I just gave the guy what he wanted calmly. He had followed me into my house off campus. He then stole my bike and rode it off."
FoolBig Boi Smh GIF by OutkastGiphy
"My brother pointed a rifle at me, just fooling around. Aimed the gun down and slid the bolt, found the gun was loaded. He threw up."
I hate guns even more now.
Do you have a harrowing experience of your own to share? Let us know in the comments.
This might not surprise you much but you should never trust the glass in hotel rooms.
A relative of mine refuses to use glasses and would rather drink out of cups she brings with her. She said it was because hotel cleaning staff are so stretched for time that they will clean the glasses with the same rags they'd use to clean the bathrooms.
When she said that, it put me off using glasses put out in hotel rooms ever again.
But that's not the only horror story from the land of hotels, five star or otherwise.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor catstevenseagal asked the online community:
"People who work at 5-star hotels: what type of s**t goes on that management doesn’t want people to know?"
"Every single hotel..."
"Bedbugs. Every single hotel from run-down motels to 5-star resorts has dealt with bedbugs."
My worst nightmare. I dealt with them once and never, ever want to deal with them again.
"Our concierge was Les Clefs D'or, had all the connections, this dude could get you into the French Laundry same day. He would often greet guests with sangria and sprigs of mint from his garden. Sometimes he had lemon slices from his tree too! He loved to tell guests all about his garden and they ate it up.
Yeah, that's all BS. Mint, lemon, and any other garnish we got from the local grocery store. The sangria? Cheapest boxed stuff we could find. But he sold the story like no other. At the end of the day, it worked."
It's all about the image.
Guests at these fancy hotels might need to think twice about what they're paying for.
"Some were greeted..."
"We weren't allowed to greet celebrities by name since they wanted to be anonymous, so we would use their alias that day. Some were greeted by sex workers who were always super nice to everyone. A regular would rent out a room for a day, once a month, and make 30-40k that day from clients. Celebrities, business guys, you name it. Crazy."
You've got to respect the hustle.
"I worked at one of the premier hotels at a ski resort in the country; top 10. Met celebrities, royalty, politicians, athletes."
"Hockey players are the nicest athletes by a wide margin. Royalty is great or more likely, awful. A-list celebrities want to be left alone or treated as just another person. Politicians are bigger aholes when they're with their families. Saw lots of sex, drugs, underage drinking, sex workers, the usual."
Duly noted. I will only hang out with hockey players from now on.
"In some places..."
"Dead people. In some places, there's a reasonable chance somebody has died in your bed. Obviously, it varies with the type of hotel and its clientele, but in some places you get deaths weekly (not that the hotel is unsafe but you have unfit old people over-exerting themselves). One place I worked maybe 40% of the beds had been died in."
I suppose this shouldn't come as a surprise. People die anywhere and everywhere all the time. Hotels are no different.
"What goes on..."
"What goes on in the room next to you. This week we had to evict and arrest a couple for causing over $15K in damages to a room. This was done quietly late at night and the nearby rooms never found out."
When done correctly... no one will ever know.
These businesses have a reputation to uphold. They're not about to let something like that come out and make the news.
"NEVER EVER EVER..."
"NEVER EVER EVER (I REPEAT!!) USE A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN FROM A HOTEL OR BANQUET HALL!!!"
Okay, okay! I believe you! I'm not going to do it!
Nor would I...
"Middle eastern royalty..."
"Middle eastern royalty ships in multiple Ferraris and Lamborghinis to the hotel from their home country to drive for the week; caught drag racing later that night by the cops in the neighborhoods of Beverly Hills."
Middle eastern royalty is truly a different specimen altogether.
"A lot of lonely people..."
"A lot of lonely people going on vacation to end their life. Happens a lot but is never mentioned on the news."
In quite a few states, there is an actual law for this. They must check.
"Worked at the high end restaurant at a ski resort that hosts a famous film festival. Lots of sex in the walk in coolers, but never the people you'd want to walk in on."
Not that you'd join... that would be quite unprofessional.
Ask any of the hotel staff to share some stories with you the next time you stay somewhere. What they tell you might surprise you... or disturb you.
Have stories of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
As teenagers, most ambitious pre-adolescents looked forward to life beyond high school where the freedom for them to live their lives without the supervision of parents or guardians awaited them.
But when they barreled through phases of teen angst, obtaining driver's licenses, and finally being able to see an R-rated movie without sneaking into one, nothing could really prepare them for adulting.
Being told how to be an adult is one thing. Navigating through adulthood on your own, however, can be a very sobering experience.
Curious to hear of the trials and tribulations from strangers online, Redditor bathtub_seizure asked:
"What is an adult problem you were not prepared for?"
First, there are the responsibilities.
"The utter soul crushing search for a job."
Series Of Unfortunate Events
"Same. I was out of work for years due to severe illness, then spent 8 months looking for any job possible but getting rejected everytime. I finally got 2 interviews lined up in April then coronavirus hit and they got cancelled! I cannot catch a break..."
Better Than The Alternative
"Not being able to leave a job you hate because you might just become homeless without it."
Then comes the pain and suffering.
People Come And Go
"Losing people. Loved ones passing away is the hardest. Then there’s the nasty breakdown of personal relationships, family relationships and friendships. Then there’s the sad drifting apart that happens when life takes you on a different path to a person you were once really close to."
You're On Your Own, Kid
"Realizing that not even your parents have all the answers. And finally understanding that they were just figuring it out as they went just like we are."
"Not having an all knowing figure to give you the answers to all your problems is the pits and I hate it."
"Edit: just wanted to add that I agree figuring stuff out for yourself is rewarding and fun, but some things you really dont want to figure out for yourself, or cant figure out. And for those things it's nice to have someone to point you in the right direction."
The Physical Limitations Set In
"Arthritis is f'king horrible and early onset autoimmune arthritis is worse than just having an ache in one or two joints. I hurt all the time, everywhere, and everyone just assumes you're faking it or you're a pill popper. I am not going to live another 20 years with this pain like my dad did."
Pain Doesn't Discriminate
"I don't have arthritis but I do have other issues that I end up having to use a cane for sometimes at 28 years old and I get the "you're too young for that" a lot, it drives me up a wall. Like, thanks, you've cured me, I hadn't considered I may be too young for this! If only I'd known it was that easy!"
"Not being able to sleep due to stress. Yet here I lay, exhausted but wide awake."
"When I was younger I could sleep anytime, anywhere."
There are a slew of responsibilities these Redditors never saw coming.
"Being able to not cook the same meal everyday while balancing hundreds of other tasks. I will always admire my mom for how she was able to cook, have a clean house, work 43 hours and help her children do homework all while taking time to work out at the end of everyday."
"I could mention other common problems like money management and common tasks that I haven't mastered, but what really hit me like a train was the actual transition of adulthood. Im talking about having to make my own appointments and having to keep tabs on myself instead of handing every single document to my mom. I realized how unorganized I was when I found my birth certificate in the same drawer where i have junk receipts."
"Dealing with your parents acting like children."
Being The Host
"Having a presentable place, and debating myself on why it matters. It always frustrated me when my parents had a guest over and we had to deep clean the whole house. Like if it’s my close friend of 8 years visiting, why do I care what they care about my cleanliness? And yet, every time people are over I find myself cleaning the apartment up for some reason."
Didn't we all feel invincible as youngsters?
I was rambunctious, physically active, and I hardly ever felt like I was going to run out of steam.
Yet, here we are. I can barely get up out of bed without hearing a snap, crackle, and pop from all of my joints.
I was cognizant of the eventual physical breakdown of my body taunting me from the distant horizon. But nothing could prepare me for the velocity at which this phase of my life would arrive and slap me hard in the face.
Life can be so cruel.