Conversation can be one life's scariest actions. Whoever said it was an art form was 100% correct.
Words are beautiful and language is the bedrock of our lives but boy of boy can it create some problems.
One wrong word, or false noun and it can send a conversation reeling.
Having hard chats throughout life though are just part of the deal of living.
It can be especially difficult in relationships with opposite sex. Women are better at communication, that's just fact.
Men have a more arduous time broaching touchy subjects. Some touchier than others.
Case in point...
Redditor aeronachtwanted all of the gents out there to fess about the times they have to make, what could be uncomfortable, chit chat with the ladies, they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s the most difficult thing to explain to women?"
I've never had much trouble talking to women. Well, except for the one time I had to come out to my girlfriend and explain me and her friend, you know what, never mind. Let's hear from you.
Don't Look
Peek A Boo Reaction GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy"Idk if it's the most difficult, but it sure did take awhile to explain to my ex that we (guys) don’t look at each other’s penis in the urinals." ~ itsOski13
Be Nice
"In a moment of anger, I’m smart enough to understand that 'shooting off at the mouth and saying something I don’t really mean' is FAR worse than 'saying nothing, realizing ‘it’s not the end of the world,’ and excusing myself to recollect my thoughts.' Just because I walked away from a conversation that was quickly going the wrong way doesn’t mean I’m metaphorically walking away from the other person or the relationship. I occasionally just need a couple minutes/hours." ~ CornerPubRon
Just Move
"Sometimes we are too shy to make the first move or take it further because we don't know if you're ok with that." ~ ungabungamans
"My female friends had a hard time understanding why I was single. I told them I was tired of chasing people, saying cute stuff, etc. I want them to do the same for me, I also want to feel special and worthy."
"They told me that it’s the guy’s obligation to go after the girl and that they wouldn’t make the first move. Had a whole argument with them that they should also try to make the first move or give friendly compliments to their guy friends. We also get tired of being friendly lol." ~ ImportantGreen
Nada
"That I'm happy just hanging out doing nothing." ~ Aggravating_Bat1786
"I feel this. even my (male) friends don't get this sometimes. I genuinely just really like doing nothing, guys. doesn't mean I don't want to hang out- you're more than welcome to come by- but I'm busy doing nothing right now." ~ jereflea1024
Hold Me
Teddy Bear Cat GIFGiphy"Why I want cuddles everyday." ~ Nightfury0818
"And to be the little spoon. Even if I'm a giant and you'd be my backpack/jetpack, sometimes it's really nice to be the little spoon." ~ subscribe_for_facts
No one should have to explain cuddling. Just be grateful you have someone to cuddle with. For free.
It just happens!
Who Knows Idk GIFGiphy"I can’t control if I get erect or not. If I can’t get hard then being angry with me is not suddenly going to make things better." ~ Hiredgun77
Don't you want me?
"I don't always want to be the one that initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep." ~ leemurray98
"I've told this to my girlfriend several times, because it's a pretty big problem for me as well. She tells me sex doesn't just cross her mind randomly if I don't initiate. I remember her initiating 3 or 4 times in the 7 years we've been together. I still feel like a freaking creep every time I start. And when she doesn't reject me, it feels like she's doing me a favor. Very healthy, I know." ~ nudi85
These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...Just before the wedding...
"My misses met my oldest friend at a wedding early last year. Haven't seen him since, or for about ten years before, despite living about three miles away from each other. Just before the wedding, she asked me how come we never met up, I said 'he's alive, isn't he?' Couple of days later at the actual wedding, she asked him the same things, and he also said 'he's alive, isn't he?' She never understood that. Never managed to explain that to her." ~ Fhjull-Forked-Tongue
Contact Sports
"That many men only have meaningful physical contact with their SO. Single men often exist in touch isolation. For a variety of reasons and social pressures many men experience a lack of physical contact. Most men I know won't even feel comfortable hugging their best friend. For a long time the only physical contact I had with other people was either sexual or a part of a competitive sport."
"Getting closer to my middle age I've learned to hug my friends and have platonic physical contact. It's really helped my mental health. I used to feel alone all the time even when I was with friends. Hug your male friends and help them normalize platonic physical affection." ~ zzSc0tchzz
Mirror, Mirror
Benicio Del Toro Man GIFGiphy"We can feel unattractive too. Just because I don't want to sleep with you, doesn't mean I don't love you or find you attractive."
"Just like you, guys can feel insecure about our bodies and not feel confidence, and having you question if it's because we don't love you anymore makes it feel like we can't be honest about those types of things." ~ FFSock
Nothing more.
"Sometimes we just want a hug. Nothing more. Just a non-judgemental shoulder to cry on." ~ Rajun_Cajun1
"nothing"
"When you ask me what Im thinking about, and I occasionally say "nothing" I'm literally staring off into the middle distance and spacing out. Im not failing to share with you. It's like a mini reset button that takes 30 to 90 seconds to reboot the mainframe and stop a shutdown." ~ d3k3d
The Struggle is real...
"We struggle with insecurities, feelings of inadequacy and feeling like we are worthless too and a big thing we struggle with is many of us feel like we are only loved on the condition we provide something, i.e financial resources, ability to protect, that sort of thing and society does a really bad job of even attempting to convince us that isn't true. And in fact the general narrative around the subject actually enforces such feelings rather than attempting to dispel them."
"Growing up we are told we need to earn lots of money in order to provide for a wife and kids and the media shows all the rich guys getting the girls and dating in later years the topic always comes up about how much we make and what our future prospects are like and it can be really discouraging. I've personally been turned down because she unashamedly said i wasn't wealthy enough to keep her happy." ~ dman2316
Not Tonight
No Thank You Reaction GIFGiphy"I don't feel like having sex, I'm tired. No it has nothing to do with you, if I desire you, if I think you're attractive. I am honestly tired and just want to sleep tonight." ~ Noah_Deez_Nutz
let's talk...
"That dudes can have a 2 hour conversation with each other (phone, down at the pub, playing online games) and not talk about any personal s**t. My SO finds it super bizarre that I can talk to my brother for an hour and not know how his family is going, how his work is, what holiday plans are. Sometimes some bros just want to talk About movies or make fart jokes." ~ W2ttsy
Today
"When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just don't remember. I usually don't remember what I do, I just live." ~ Ok--Masterpiece
"My husband and I have this backwards. He always wants to talk about his ordinary workday whereas I’d rather not be asked about work because what is there to say? I worked. If anything was exciting about it I would’ve said so." ~ NettyTheMadScientist
Men Need
"Men need foreplay too. A buddy of mine once had a gf who would leave the room to undress before sex to freshen up etc. When she returned if he wasn't completely erect and ready to go she'd cry and accuse him of not being attracted to her. Like, the idea of having sex with her alone should keep him 100% erect for the 10 minutes he was waiting for her." ~ Chiggadup
Good Dad
"That, despite what movies/TV/literature hammer into your brains, fathers can be emotionally available, engaged, great parents. I'm the sole parent of a son and two daughters and I've had to listen to 'what does mom think of her getting this haircut?' and 'tell mom to schedule an appointment' for years. Mom's in a halfway house you twit, and I'm plenty capable of making decisions for my own children." ~ TecumsehSherman
Let me be...
South Asian Man GIF by IdentityGiphy"Some of us. just can't properly express our emotions. Even when we're allowed to be vulnerable. We've been psychological conditioned not to for most of our lives. Even when we try to, there's just. something that won't let it fully come out." ~ JoakimSpinglefarb
We Don't Care
"That when we say we don't care about something, we don't care about it. We're not being stoic, we're not playing games, we're not lying, we literally do not give a flying fig, and the reason why we seem to be a bit tense is that you've asked about it at least 10 times in the last hour." ~ mammbo
Ok gents, time to buck up and share some feelings. You're not alone in your worry. But you can handle it. I have faith in.
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"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
