You think you know someone...until you don't. Here, married people share something their spouse hid from them until after they were already lawfully wedded.
1. They Should At Least Believe In Reality
I used to be married. That's no longer the case, so it goes.
Anyways, I was getting dinosaur stuff for our boy, and his mother said something along the lines of "I don't like dinosaurs and am happy they are not real."
I chuckled, thinking she meant she is relieved her life is not like Jurassic Park, being chased by these giant predators. Nope. Turned out she believes dinosaurs never walked this earth. I had known her for 6 solid years, and this completely blew me away, side swiping me with horror....
She thinks people are guessing when the put partial bones together, and just fabricate these creatures...
I'm still affected by this- even years later. When I go on dates, there is a litmus test now. I ask what her stance stance is on dinosaurs every first date. Not making that mistake again.
When my grandparents got married, my grandmother was 24 and she thought my grandfather was 25. It was during their honeymoon that he confessed that he was only 19. Gran was annoyed, obviously, but I think she was too relieved to be married to stay mad at him; 24 was getting close to being left on the shelf for an Irish-Catholic woman in the 60s.
Well my grandpa's real name was Upton and he thought it was really weird so when he met my grandma he told her his name was James. Three weeks later (yes they got married after three weeks of knowing each other, the story is actually adorable) the priest asked my grandma if she takes Upton to be her husband.
This resulted in my grandma yelling in front of the entire church, "Who the hell is Upton?!" And then, realizing my grandpa had lied to her because he thought his name was weird, she goes, "Oh Lord yes I do to take this stupid man as my husband." They were married 65 years with three boys, the oldest of which was named James. I never saw a couple more in love or meant for each other than my grandparents, God rest their souls.
My ex wife neglected to mention she was a lesbian until after we were married.
Kind of a deal breaker.
That he could juggle.
You're with someone for a decade and you think you know him, then all of a sudden he starts juggling the four oranges he's holding and when your jaw drops just says, "Oh, I learned when I was a kid."
This whole time we could have been on the road as a circus act and he waits until now to reveal his talents.
While we were dating, my husband always told me this story about how he used to race dirt bikes and wrecked one time so badly that he had to have surgery to reconstruct his nose. I had wondered why he looked so different in his younger pictures. Anyway, it wasn't until we had been married several years that his mother heard me mentioning that story and how scary that must have been for her, worrying about her son...and she didn't know what I was talking about. The truth was that he never wrecked a dirt bike and his nose looked different because he had been ashamed of his larger-than-average Italian nose, so she saved up her money to buy him a nose job.
That despite the life plans we'd talked about, once we married he expected me to be the breadwinner, the homemaker, cook and accountant in the family. He needed to "stay home and work on his music." Oh, and that two bedroom place? No, he didn't want kids, he wanted his own bedroom. Oh, and intimacy? "I could just "do my business" in your room, but sleep in my own bed after". Nope, nope, nope.
He knew women had periods. He had no idea periods involved blood. He thought it was just abdominal cramping or something. We even lived together for a year before we got married and he never figured this out until after we were married when we got a new dresser. I threw all the underwear, both his and mine in the same drawer since it was a smaller dresser. He saw my bloodstained period panties and started crying because he thought I was dying and had been hiding it from him. I then had to explain to my 28-year-old husband what exactly a period is.
9. How On Earth Do People Keep The Floor Dry When They Shower?
I didn't realize until after we lived together that she can't keep the bathroom floor dry.
When she showers, I feel as though half of the time she points the shower head at the ground outside the shower.
When she gets out, I imagine her shaking her body off in canine fashion.
If she washes her face at the sink, I visualize her saying, "One handful of water for me, one handful for you" (to the floor).
My husband has some kind of crazy allergic mutation that makes lemons like sulfuric acid on his tongue. For serious, his tongue gets burned. To be fair, he didn't know that was unusual until after we got married. My fav dessert is lemon bars and he thought I just liked burning my own face off. Cute twist: he would still make and eat lemon bars with me every year for my birthday until we found out. Then he got lemon-banned.
That she loads the dishwasher like an absolute monkey. It's my biggest complaint about her. I'm a lucky man.
After being married for almost 4 years I learned my wife can play guitar, like incredibly well. She saw an acoustic at the flea market 2 weeks ago and she just picked it up and started playing. My jaw dropped. I bought it for her and now she is teaching me how to play.
That she was a bank robber.
She told me she had saved up $700 from working summer jobs and babysitting while in high school. We get married, and get on our way to Branson (Honeymoon Capitol of America, amirite?). On the way, she confesses to me that she did not in fact save up $700 from part time jobs. She admits she has saved up over $7000 from her jobs!!!
So, we go on an extravagant (for me) week-long spending spree of a honeymoon. We do EVERYTHING! Helicopters, boat rentals, every show, see a souvenir- we buy it. Oh a quilt? $500? Sure! We spent over $6500 extra on this trip.
We get home on a Sunday afternoon. We both have to return to work the next morning. There are several messages on the answering machine. The third or fourth message plays. It is her boss from the BANK she works at telling her to contact him at once, that there is an issue they need to discuss, and leaves a number.
I learn that there was no mysterious savings account from high school. I learn that she had been transferring money from a couple large accounts on a regular basis into HER OWN account. The total was somewhere north of $7700. The bank was pissed, the clients were pissed, the authorities were already neck deep this and they were scary, to say the least.
After several meetings, it was decided that if WE made full restitution, the bank would not press felony charges. So, we now have one unemployed wife who is likely UN-employable, one scared husband desperately trying to get his bank-thieving wife a job anywhere, and one debt, due immediately, for $7700.
We gather ALL the money left over, borrow $500 from her parents, $5500 from mine, and my next paycheck. (You wanna know stress? Ask your parents to help you pay back money your new wife stole from a bank.) We get the bank paid back by the end of the week.
After several weeks, things have died down some. She is working at McDonald's (I pulled strings with manager friends) and we have begun paying back the parents. We actually don't hear anything for a while and the immediacy of the crime has subsided. In fact, it wasn't until 2002 that we were contacted to appear in court.
We were still young and ignorant, so we get lucky here. The "feds" were easy to work with. The bank didn't make a huge deal about it since the money was returned. It is a small town bank, (two branches total) so somehow we avoided any real heavy issues. We took the advice of some guy who represented the bank, and really we just wanted this part of our lives to be over, so we would have done anything. She went in to court, sans lawyer, and plead guilty to a class C misdemeanor. The judge gave her 2 years probation and the restriction of never working at an FDIC establishment.
And this is how my life as a married man began.
14. That's The Spirit!
That he knew how to ballroom dance and took a cake decorating course for an art credit.
I learned it the same night. I couldn't decorate cupcakes and he took over. Later at the event, he grabbed me and waltzed perfectly.
Can't wait for the next few years.
My wife passed away. At the funeral I met her ex-husband, her 22-year-old son who she hadn't seen for 19 years, and her other 20-year-old son who she gave up for adoption (from a different father).
I never knew any of them existed until the night before the funeral when her best friend asked if I minded if they came.
Yes, it was awkward. She never had spoken of them. The closest she came to admitting it was when we were dating and she said, "Don't believe a word my sister says, she tells everyone that I'm divorced and had two kids."
Seventeen years later I found out that was the truth.
My dad loved grilled cheese sandwiches growing up. It was the one thing that his mom could cook when she was sick (cancer), and he always associates it with happy memories.
My parents get married, my mom continues the whole "making grilled cheese because it makes him happy" deal, complete with a slice of tomato, because my grandfather (his father) grew tomatoes and she thought it was an extra bit of love.
My parents have been married almost forty years, and my dad finally told her last year that he hates tomatoes.
He had been eating the sandwiches with tomatoes the entire time because he thought it was a part of her childhood, and wanted to make her happy. They laughed for ten minutes, the tears streaming, not able to talk laughing.
We have been together 15 years and married for 7, we are watching TV the other day and someone starts speaking German and there are no subtitles - he translates it, like it's no big thing. I'm like who ARE you? Apparently he's watched so many war movies he speaks conversational German.
I met my husband online on OkCupid. I found out right before we got married, after dating for 5 years and living together for 3, that the picture of him posted on the site was staged - a profile of him using a camera timer in his room alone while holding a beer and talking to no one.
I don't know which cracks me up more that I couldn't tell or that he kept the secret for so long.
That she doesn't close any doors!
Getting a glass for a drink? Door stays open!
Getting silverware? Drawer stays open!
Taking a dump? Door stays open!
Its 4am and you are getting ready for work. What's that??
A DRESSER DRAWER!! HELLO HUMAN SHIN EVERY MORNING.
WOMAN, PLEASE CLOSE THINGS!
He has a watermelon problem. Like. He will sit down and eat an ENTIRE 12 pound watermelon. Then get VERY ill, spend half the day pissing, complain about his awful stomachache, curl up and writhe around for awhile...then GO BACK to scavenging the rind for any bits he missed. I don't know how this addiction hasn't killed him. I didn't find out about it until last year. We've been together for seven. I need to supervise him when we go shopping so he only buys the mini watermelons. If I leave him alone? He buys the biggest one he can find.
I mean watermelons are delicious but dear God.
A few years ago, after about 15 years as a couple, 7 years of marriage and one child together, I accidentally found out that my husband is a huge Star Trek fan.
I walked into our bedroom one day and he quickly changed the tv station, so naturally I asked what he was watching. He reluctantly confessed, and was obviously very embarrassed to have to tell me that he watches Star Trek all the time when he is alone. I find it hilarious that he was so embarrass about that after all those years. To this day he won't watch the TV show or older movies with me; he says I ask too many questions.
Literally 5 seconds ago I learned that my husband didn't know women have to wipe after peeing.
The fact that she is actually a good cook! For 10 years I cooked almost every meal because every time she cooked it wasn't very.. well.. good. Got married and ever since she has made awesome meals which are absolutely beautiful.
I asked her when she learned to cook and she told me she had always known how to cook but wanted to make sure I wasn't marrying her to be a housewife who cooks and cleans for her husband.
My wife is from Siberia (backstory: she was my exchange student girlfriend in high school. We got back in touch 17 years later and we were married a year-and-a-half ago). She is straight-up amazing, but I have always been at least a tiny bit nervous being the passenger when my wife drives. It's not that she drives poorly, she just has a very different respect for the rules that I take for granted, like signaling before changing lanes, speed limits, merging and keeping distance between other cars. You know, small stuff.
Her foreign license won't work here for long, and she studied the driver's manual HARD to pass the written portion for her Oregon driver's license. On her third attempt she passed, missing only one question.
Last night we were celebrating her victory and she confessed something that really surprised me: she acquired her Russian license with the aid of two bottles of Cognac, given to her instructor prior to the ride-along to ensure a passing grade.
Hollywood really has made a mess of entertainment and storytelling.
And it doesn't have to be that way.
There are so many people with new, fresh ideas, yet they choose to keep redoing the same old. concepts.
The people want more and better and it is possible
Nobody needs 167 sequels done poorly!
Redditor MainCrab1383 wanted the entertainment industry to listen up!!
"What do you wish Hollywood would stop doing?"
I wish they would give more chances unknowns. Every known starts an unknown, you know.
It was already great!Behind The Scenes GIF by BET AwardsGiphy
"Remakes of good movies, I don’t understand why they remake good movies, when there are tons of flops that have potential, that they could remake."
"Characters getting punched multiple times in the face in 1 scene and having no signs of the trauma in the next scene."
"Or shot, but they remove the bullet in a dirty motel and sew it up with freaking twine and knitting needles so now it doesn’t hurt anymore and they can go fight more bad guys unencumbered."
"This reminded me of characters getting absolutely wasted then either being relatively sober in the next scene, or have no hangover the day after."
"Stop making films and TV shows that we cannot see because they are too dark and cannot hear what TF people are saying. That would be a good start."
"I honestly think some vfx engineers stuffed up and others thought it was a trend and continued to underexpose. Series 8 of game of Thrones was about 8 slightly diffident blank pixels running about the screen."
Fill her up!
"EMPTY CUPS. I hate seeing people holding cups and pretending to take drinks from obviously empty cups. Their hands never move right, or if it’s an open cup, you can literally see that it’s empty."
"They move their hand way too fast! It's like they don't even know they're supposed to be pretending it has liquid inside."
Not a 10Interested Saturday Night Live GIF by HULUGiphy
"Casting attractive people in ‘ugly’ roles."'
"Like when the obviously gorgeous person gets a makeover."
Casting is subjective... so they say.
Save Them!Season 5 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Showing incorrect CPR."
"Just do what the AED tells you to do. No thinking required."
"Forcing a love story that makes no sense in a movie that has nothing to do with romance."
"Long kisses in the middle of a 'we're running out of time' scene. We gotta save the world, but let me take my time to say goodbye/goodluck first."
"Long kisses after a death defying scene. Sure, kissing is what they do next."
Makes no Sense
"Having a main character whose job/income level does not match their home or lifestyle at all."
"I was about to say that Charlie’s shi**y apartment in 'It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia' is the one exception to that rule I can think of. But oddly enough his roommate, Frank, is a millionaire."
"Supposedly when they started making Big Bang Theory they tried putting them in a realistic apartment, and it made it really depressing."
"Adapting stuff into live-action movies when they should really be animated. Examples include upcoming Mega Man, Pac-Man and Minecraft movies which are ALL set to be live-action."
"I had no idea that any of these movies were in the works. Pac-Man will be half CGI, NO doubt. Going the Sonic route. Unless they literally just have it as an inspiration, and it's just a guy in yellow running away from ghosts in a labyrinth."
"Minecraft? Well, everyone will watch it, so I'm sure they don't care if it's good. But it's clearly going to focus on Steve building a nether portal and trying to kill a f**king dragon. Mega-Man? Yeah, I can see that working live action. Oh wait, it's a Netflix Original? Yeah, no. That's going to be absolute trash."
ID please?Beverly Hills 90210 90S GIFGiphy
"Casting 35 year olds as high schoolers."
"Can we add casting 16-18 year olds to play 11 year olds?! Priah Ferguson was 16 when she played 11 year old Erica Sinclair in Stranger Things season 4. WTH!?"
Lord Hollywood has a lot of work to do!
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments.
Time is not always a friend.
It can systematically destroy everything.
Or is that just humans abusing time?
Everything does degrade naturally...
"What has consistently been getting shi**ier?"
Life in general. Life has gotten worse. Not to be a downer. What happened?
Falling ApartSunny Day Help GIFGiphy
"My health as I get older. People aren’t kidding when they say 'I turned X age and started falling apart' it actually happens."
"Yeah it used to be all about sharing stuff with your friends. Now it’s all about trying to keep your eyes on it as long as possible so they can show you more ads. The social networks that are about sharing stuff and the actual content either get acquired or die."
"T-shirts. It used to be that you would get a t-shirt and it would last you literally decades. Almost more importantly in my opinion, the shirt also had some 'structure' and shape to it. Now t-shirts are thin, flimsy, and formless. I feel like I’m wearing an undershirt or a pajamas shirt."
"I should note that around the time t-shirts got sh*ttier, all the t-shirt brands started advertising 'THIS IS THE SOFTEST T-SHIRT EVER.'"
"I’m 99% sure the whole 'softness' marketing was to distract customers from the fact that the fabric got thinner and cheaper. Because although the flimsy fabric is legitimately very soft, 'this shirt is not soft enough' was never a complaint I had with old t-shirts."
"Advertisements. Not only the quality of advertisements, but frequency has skyrocketed. For example, when you watch a basketball game, these MFs put an ad in between free throw attempts. Everything is presented by Company XYZ, everything has some sort of advertisement connected to it, and it is infuriating."
Bad IdeaFast Food GIF by jjjjjohnGiphy
"Fast food. It was always bad for you, but now it doesn't taste as good either, and is more expensive, on top of being bad for you."
Remember when Burger King was only like a dollar? What happened?
DowngradeMoving Season 3 GIF by VidaGiphy
"The quality of furniture. Unless you want to spend $10k, you cant really get something that will last 50+ years."
"Halloween Decorations. Used to be able to buy metal gates, concrete/plaster tombstones, and many other creative decorations that would last you several years - maybe even decades. Now all you can get are flimsy styrofoam and plastic tombstones meant to last only one Halloween (looking at you, Spirit Halloween)."
Try to buy...
"It's ridiculous. Our rent keeps going up, so my husband just said 'Screw it, let's move in with my dad for a year or so to save.' Thankfully he was cool with it, because we seriously never have any extra to save! I don't know how people without help can do it. Rent is so expensive it's impossible to save the money needed to buy a house!"
“the old days”
"Life and perception. As i get older and learn more I consistently yearn for 'the old days' but I’m not actually yearning for old days… I’m merely wishing I could go back to when I didn’t know anything about how life and the world actually operates. Youthful perception is usually more optimistic."
Mainstream DownFound Footage Video GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphy
"Mainstream network television programing."
"I swear to God, at work, most of the crap on TV is either a mediocre drama show about a government organization or firefighters, cringe a** news stations like Inside Edition, game shows or generic 'talk' shows that feel more like advertisements."
Oh, the good ole days. What happened?
When it comes to naming children, there are all kinds of different approaches.
Some parents like to honor the legacy of a late relative, while there are those who prefer naming their baby after a revered fictional character–"Luke" (Skywalker) being one of them.
But let's be honest. Baby naming can get way out of hand, and it's the child who becomes a victim by having to live with a name they might get teased for...like "Blanket."
Curious to hear examples of what some of those might be, Redditor Sarah_Trekkie asked:
"What are some of the craziest baby names you’ve personally been witness to?"
Pity these children with these unfortunate names.
The Three Hs
"Well they weren't babies, but at the summer camp where I worked this summer. 3 brothers: Honor, Heritage, and believe it or not, Henceforth. I felt a little bad for those kids."
"The manager at a shop near me is named Goodenough."
In Case You Missed It A Second Time
"Coworker grew up with a girl named Kelly Kelly Kelly."
"Jam Metallica for a baby girl."
Drugs and babies just shouldn't mix.
"I work in child welfare and it’s actually more common than you would think for someone to name their child after a drug or strand of drug they were using at the time. So with that information, MF Pitbull and Knucklehead were the two that I saw that were pretty bad. Another sad fact is when a child is immediately removed from a family (they have already been proven not to be fit parents) they’ll give them the name Baby Boy/Girl or Infant until they’re adopted."
"Edit: at the time = time of conception"
"Edit edit: 'they' as in the nursing staff, the birth parents often aren’t coherent enough or don’t care to give a name."
Out With The Old In With The New
"I summer nannied for two kids, siblings who had been adopted by a wonderful woman who immediately changed their given names, which were Crystal and Rocky."
"Edited to add that both babies were born addicted to meth. Forgot that little nugget."
It gets worse.
Going By A Gender
"Boy. True story."
What A Pair
"Noodles and papoose."
"I heard these 2 magical names uttered in a single sentence by a woman. 'Noodles! Put papoose down!'"
"Thunderbird, Winter Star, Rainbow, Baby Girl."
"Culturally not that weird, but day to day life outside of the Rez, strong names to live with."
"I met a young man named Jor-El."
"Yes, as in Jor-El, father of Kal-El who became Superman on Earth."
"Were they a clone?"
"Nah, just a carbon copy."
The Pressure Is On
"I was at the park with my nephew last week and a woman started calling for her son to get off the swings. His name was Messiah. That seems like a lot to live up to!"
I would have to say one of the craziest names I've heard of was Otis Payne.
The names individually are actually pretty cool, but when you slap them together and say the full name, well, I can only imagine the amount of jokes this person had to endure.
He probably lost track of the number of times they saw someone doubling over in fake distress–clenching at a problematic part of their body–and saying his full name in jest.
We get it, we get it, "Oh this pain!"
With so many streaming platforms and too many recommendations to watch your friends' favorite shows, how do you prioritize what shows to watch?
Those who can afford to sit in front of the TV all day–because that is the commitment it takes to start making a dent in your viewing playlist–must choose wisely in determining which shows to start binging.
If a show fails to grab your attention from the get go, you might be prone to ditch it and go on to the next one on the list.
The risk of course is you might be missing out on something that is worth sitting through the slow-burn, exposition-y episodes of a show that is trying to establish itself at the beginning but becomes wildly rewarding towards the end.
But who has time for all that?
Apparently, there were many TV show viewers whose patience ran thin.
To find out what shows strangers online thought was not worth their time, Redditor itsamu asked:
"What TV series isn't worth finishing?"
You would think fantasy and action shows can sustain your attention, but they're not all created the same.
Not Having The Time For This One
"Once upon a time. It literally repeats the entire first season’s plot."
"I'm the fastest man alive. Except for the main villain of this season. And the random guy I'm chasing who escaped around the corner of the building, despite the fact I can search an entire square mile in under a minute. Nah, he's gone, no need to check."
One Strong Season
"Heroes. Watch the first season, and then stop."
Can't Kill What's Already Dead
"The walking dead, gave up a while ago. Don't even know if it has finished or not yet."
The Outlook Was Already...
"Grimm. Started off so good, just got worse and worse and worse."
Getting Straight To The Point
"Arrow. It ends at season 2, ya hear me? SEASON TWO!"
Many Redditors recommended cutting the length of a TV season by half.
Wrap It Up
"We really should have more limited series. Some shows have premises that are good for a season or two that get ruined by dragging it out for multiple seasons."
The Brits Get It
"Watch more British shows. Fewer episodes generally so they don’t as often run out of ideas or go off the rails. Fleabag for example, two perfect seasons and done."
Even people who enjoy the pacing of dramas found some in the genre quite tedious.
That Final Season
"House of cards. Just stop watching on the last episode of the penultimate season and pretend the last one is still in the works. The last season is insulting on so many levels."
You Gotta Be Toking
"Weeds. Good for the first three seasons or so. Really f'king comes off the rails after that."
They May Have A Case Here
"Suits. It becomes very repetitive after a while."
"Worst Finale Ever"
"The last couple seasons of Castle were garbage. The finale was the worst finale in the history of finales. Yes even worst than GoT and HIMYM. Such a disgrace for a show that used to be cute, fun and sharply written. I can’t even bring myself to watch marathons when they are on and it was one of my favorite shows when it first started."
I'm probably in the minority here but I had to give up on Game of Thrones by the end of its first season.
I think I was expecting more fantasy and dragons straight away, but as I waited for more action, I found myself losing interest in the characters and patience in keeping track of who was related to whom.
So I put a pin in it and started watching other shows.
When I heard about fans complaining about the letdown of an ending, that was enough for me to remove it from my list permanently.
Hey, to each their own.