In our imaginations, most of us think of marriage as something full of romance and gushiness. Heart eyes, longing glances, blushes and giggle fits... that's the sort of love we tend to think would lead to a marriage proposal.
But sometimes marriage is something totally different.
In the past it's been a way to cement political ties, or maybe for business or social advancement. Or, sometimes, to fulfill a pact.
A pact? A pact. One Reddit user wanted to explore those kinds of marriages when they asked:
We see it all the time in movies. Many of us have probably half-jokingly made one of those with a friend during our early years. But does anyone actually go through with them?
Shockingly, YES. We want to tell you that all of these stories end in happily ever after, but they don't. We don't really think it matters, though. Even the most romantic relationships don't always make it.
What we found even more interesting was the number of people for whom this kind of arrangement absolutely worked. Take a read.
The Weird Couple
"Weird" couple my wife knew had such a pact and followed through.
Girl was a really introverted, quiet, homely type. Sweetest girl. But she never had a boyfriend as far as I knew. And we saw her off and on for six or seven years.
Then suddenly out of nowhere she invited us to her wedding.
Anyways, it was to a guy we had met a couple of times who was one of her friends who seemed very much like her. My wife teased her that "more must have been going on all that time." But she was straight up about it, and said no, they just decided it was time.
Conversation was something like, "Yeah, you know how people have pacts to get married if neither of them are till they hit ___, well, we just decided it really wasn't going to happen for either of us, and to cut that short."
Basically we were just like, "cool?" and then left it at that.
Anyways, she married him, they looked happy. The speeches were a bit odd, they didn't really talk about love but a lot about how they were marrying their best friend.
They are still together, it's gotta be at least 5 years, and they have a little kid. Last we saw them they looked happy and that's all that matters really.
Eventual Evolution
Kind of. We left our spouses around the same time (not for each other) and decided to share a house. We got to taking one night and decided we each had all the things the other was looking for, plus we got along really well. We were in our mid-thirties by then and sick of the dating scene, so we just laid it out like a business arrangement.
What started off as an "arrangement" eventually evolved into something extremely serious and passionate. We've been together now for almost seven years and married for almost one. We are extremely in love and I have zero regrets.
Pranksters
A friend of mine married a college friend 3 years ago at the age of 33. Their bet was to get married if they were both single at 33 - but the intention was to basically prank their parents by going through with it. They intended to be married for several months and then just casually mention it, and later just get it annulled. So they went to the courthouse with a pair of friends, got married and then she moved into his apartment.
Thing was they'd been friends with benefits for a years when they were both single, and living together was so nice that they just stayed together. They're expecting their first kid in a few months.
Instructions Unclear
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Family friends had this pact. We were at her 30th and her boyfriend at the time proposed. Her best friend (with whom she had the pact) was gutted. He too had had a ring in his pocket. We know because he showed my dad.
Wait, the dude was gonna propose even though she had a boyfriend at the time? What part of "if we're single" did he not understand?
Happy New Year
My partner and I were close friends for 12 years before we got married. Through many friendships and relationships with other people, including one of us following a former lover across the country and the other being briefly engaged, we stayed "just friends" for a very long time:
On New Year's Eve in 2007-8, at the ripe old age of 23, we drunkenly made a pact to get married to each other if we weren't married by 30. Long story short, we didn't start dating until we both turned 30, but we got married pretty quickly after we started dating. Just celebrated 5 years of marriage, and we have a 2 year-old.
It's unconventional, but so are we, and it's ours.
InkMaster
I did. But we got married 10 years earlier. We met at an Inkmaster finale. We immediately connected. He lived in New York, I, Florida. I went back home and we Kept in touch. Made a promise if by the time we were 35 we'd marry each other. I was 25 at the time. Things intensified so much we truly believed we were meant for each other. I moved to Illinois to take care of my sick grandma. 3 months after meeting he flew there to visit and we got married. After a few more visits he moved there too. 4 years later and we have 2 kids.
Why Wait?
We ended up getting married a lot sooner. He wasn't necessarily waiting around for me but I realized I'd be devastated if he ended up with someone else and no longer had him as a constant friend in my life. Don't let the good ones get away. We've been married 13 years now and never regretted a minute of it.
Woke
Our promise wasn't for when we're 35 but 30. We have been friends for years before we made the joke-promise and have been friends for 11 years (became friends when I was 17 she was 16) Through many friendships and relationships with other people, including one of us almost getting engaged to a former lover, we still remained friends.
When I clocked 20 if I recall correctly, we jokingly promised to get married to each other if we weren't married by 30. Long story short, I'm 28 now and she's 26. we didn't start dating until last year and are supposed to be getting married in June (if corona virus lock down let's us). We went through a lot of maturity and personal changes in our early 20's and it was so admirable watching how she grew and became "woke". Over the course of 5 years watching her grow, I knew she was and still is the ONE. No regrets here.
- Bullzy17
Unhappily Ever After
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My parents had this kind of pact. Here is their story. Both of them were focusing mostly on their careers and didn't have time for marriage before then. They had been dating on and off for seven years and my mother was afraid of getting too old to marry, so she left her island home and a great job in newspaper marketing for the mainland and they got married. Things went south pretty quickly. Both of them were working up to 20 hours a day, and they didn't see each other much. I suppose the loneliness got to my father, because he slipped into depression and developed a pornography addiction, accused my mother of having an affair, and tried to kill himself. Things got worse when my mother miscarried what would have been my older brother or sister. I only know what little I could gather from hearing them fight after I was born, and I know there's much more to the story than what I know. Along I came a few years later after they had been trying for a child for years, and lo and behold, I have a birth defect and I almost die.
BUT I LIVED!!!
A few surgeries later, I'm relatively healthy and my dad quits his job to look after me. When I grew up enough to not need constant supervision anymore, however, my dad wouldn't get another job. My parents fought over it for years, and it kind of destroyed what was left of their marriage. The only reason they don't fight anymore is because my mother just gave up. Things only got worse as I grew. The house where I grew up now looks like a home out of Hoarders because my mother doesn't have time to clean, as she is the only breadwinner for the family, and my father is too depressed. He's stubborn and has a bad temper, so he acts like it's our problem whenever we're bring it up and refuses to go to therapy. He hardly ever leaves the house and doesn't really have any friends. He's only gotten worse since my grandmother died. I can't say anything more, because I'm too ashamed of the rest. It's quite sad to see two otherwise good people be so horrible to each other and live in such a sad state.
Kids On The Porch
My husband and I did this!
We met at around age ten. I lived in a violent household and he lived in the trailer park near my house. I ran away one night, and he was sitting on the porch shuffling Yugioh cards silently. We both froze when we saw each other. He then asked if I wanted to play because he had an extra deck.
We became quick friends. Whenever the violence got to be too much, I'd run to his house and we'd play. As we got older, we tried dating, but we were fairly innocent and messed it all up. Went back to being friends, but we swore to one another that we'd get married if we were single by age 30.
I joined the military after high school and he decided to go to college. We stayed connected through social media. I got married and had a daughter, he found a girlfriend and had a son. We talked about our kids and how happy we were for each other, and even laughed about our 'silly' agreement.
One day a few years later, after my then husband and I split amicably, he texted me out of the blue. We hadn't talked in months due to being adults now, and things got in the way. The text made me very nervous; it sounded more like a goodbye. His girlfriend had left him, and so much else was going on in his life that he just wanted to thank me for being his friend. I immediately called him and we talked for a long time, once again bringing up that we would never face the future alone because, if we didn't find our 'soulmates', we were going to get married at 30, grow old, and sit on our porch while I made tons of cookies. By the end of it, he was laughing and agreeing, and I felt like he was out of that dark hole.
I moved back to my hometown a few years later. I was 29 and he was 30. I kind of forgot about the plan at this point due to some family members being very sick. We bumped into each other one day with our kids and he also had a guy friend in tow, and it was like we were teens again. We chatted a bit. He apparently hadn't dated much after his his first girlfriend left him. The friend spoke up and said I should totally double date with them, me being the date for my best friend.
He casually mentioned we didn't need to date; he was 30, I was almost 30, and it had dawned on him that his soulmate was standing right in front of him. He refused to let me run away again and wanted to fulfill the contract. I swear my face couldn't have been redder nor could my heart have thumped any faster. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and I didn't expect it from him. And, honestly, I don't know why I never realized how much I really loved him also, from the moment we played Yugioh on his porch that fateful night.
Fast forward to now and we are happily married with a beautiful 16 month old son. We still talk about our journey to each other. We still play Yugioh occasionally, and have taught our kids to play too. Life is good.
As The World Is Ending...
My wife and I had this deal when we were 27. But then I just asked her out and we were in a long distance relationship for about 3 months then we ended up breaking up. After about 4 years, we tried again and were in communication until we fell in love again and still in a long distance relationship. This time we were able to work it out. We got married this past January as the world is ending. I guess we made it just in time for our 35th birthdays.
Winner
I had a deal to marry my friend by the time she was 35. She's 33, and married... to me! I won!
- moolord
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.