They say love is blind, but there are some things even "love" can't ignore - like the clear message sent when someone invites you on a date and you get there only to realize you're not the only "potential suitor" there and that the date is, in fact, an MLM pitch.
One Reddit user asked:
What did your crush do that absolutely killed your interest?
And fam, that was a real actual response. I just ... I ...
And that wasn't even the worst one! People are just out here snatching defeat from the jaws of victory left and right. We've got abusers, MLM pitches, and someone who lost to a cat. We've got insecurity and control issues on full display.
But people, far and away, the biggest takeaway from all of this is that cleaning up after yourself is seriously important. It's one of the easiest things you can do to help your date not be disgusted by you.
Turns out, people don't like hanging out in a home with literal poo on the floors. Who knew?
Sister Sister
His sister actually approached me and let me know that he was once arrested for locking their other pregnant sister in their basement, went on a drug binge while she desperately tried to get out, and went outside to beat their unsuspecting neighbors van with a golf club. That was a big'ol nope.
Our interactions were quite pleasant so I was interested in getting to know him better. We talked a lot about common interests such as the newest video games coming out for the xbox360 at the time, and our 90's nostalgia. It had never occurred to me to ask
"Hey, you ever just feel like locking your annoying pregnant sister in the basement and snorting a mountain of blow? Also fck vans, am I right?"
It was really cool of her to tell me about all of that, and she actually continued to warn women about him even if some of the girls wouldn't listen and had to experience first hand. She's really out here for her fellow females.
Racism And One Hoodie
Racism. Racism was the dealbreaker.
In tenth grade, I was absolutely pining over a girl in my U.S history class. I'm a very outgoing person, but something about this girl made me extremely nervous and flustered. I nearly had a panic attack when I first said hi to her. Why did I like her? I have no idea.
She was one of those suspiciously quiet girls that would draw anime and only wear one hoodie. I'm serious. She wore ONE hoodie and seemed to not own any other shirts. I don't think she was poor; she had a really nice sketchbook and a new phone. Maybe she just didn't know how to dress, but that wasn't even the dealbreaker for me.
It was about five months into me liking her. Our class was going to the black history month assembly that my school was hosting all throughout the day. During lunch, about 30 minutes before the assembly would have started, I texted her asking if she'd like to sit next to me during it.
She coldly replied something along the lines of, "I don't even want to go to this assembly. Black people are super lazy and just sit around and complain about their situation. they don't even do anything about it."
I never thought I could flip-the-switch on my feelings, but that was the day I stopped liking the one-hoodie-wearing weeb.
Dirty V. Filthy
She invited me over to her place - not as a date thing, but just to hang out as friends. Her house was absolutely filthy and the glass of coke she gave me had a hair in it. She was really cute, had a great personality, and was a genuinely nice person, but as soon as I saw cat sh!t on the floor near the front door, and just dirty everything my crush disappeared and I left in a hurry
- Tashii
I am fine with mess and clutter. That stuff just needs tidying up. I cannot handle FILTH. This is absolutely filthy
Annoying
Has a crush on a coworker at my job from when I was about 18ish. He would talk to me on messenger and asked me to hang out sometime, but no plans were ever made. Heard from a mutual friend who also worked there that he told another friend he thought I was annoying....but HE was the one who asked me to hang out and it wasn't like I pushed to make plans??
Oh and I guess he realized I heard about this so he proceeded to overcompensate by being extra nice to me at work. Lost my lady erection instantly.
"Just Checking"
He wanted to look through my phone on our first date to make sure I wasn't talking to anyone else. That was our last date.
- twiride
This shouldn't be on any date, any time, ever. That's a red flag to a controlling abuser. Good dodge.
- mojoista
WARNING: critical levels of insecurity detected. Abort mission immediately.
Gossip Guy
Giphy
We work together and as I got to know him more I learned he talked badly about everyone. Nurses that are amazing he'd belittle, talk about how certain people don't know what they're doing because they asked for an ultrasound IV as they were struggling getting a vein on a heroin addict. The paramedics were worthless, doctors don't know what they're doing, who he thought was hooking up, etc.
It completely turned me off. He's in his early 40's and into gossip more than my teenage daughter.
Trash My Ride
He picked me up for our first date and his car was disgusting. Not talking a few trash items, the entire backseat and floorboard was completely covered in piled up trash, even up front. I had to step on empty McDonald's bags, old soda bottles, wrappers etc to even get in.
And all he said was, just move it around with your feet. No sorry or anything. Made me feel like trash too. Like dang, couldn't even clean up a little?
He probably did clean up. The passenger seat was likely completely piled up before. Probably thought he did a big thing. Yuck.
Locked Up
Our first date together started with him removing the steering wheel from his car & locking it in his trunk (when we got to dinner). Then we spent 3 hours of him talking about himself the. entire. time.
- roxemmy
Baby Mama Drama
She asked me if I was good with kids because she was pregnant with her ex and that's she's not good with kids (it was the first date)
Explosive
Proceeded to take an explosive sht and intentionally left the door open while talking to me, 10 mins after we hooked up for the first time.
I can not stress how absolutely explosive this sht was.
Cat Lady
She detested cats and insisted that I give up my furry buddy before she'd move in with me.
It wasn't that she was allergic to cats. She issued the ultimatum because - according to her - my cat "received too much of my time and affection, and she wasn't going to 'compete'."
Lmao imagine laying awake at night knowing you lost to a cat.
We Got A Bada$$ Over Here
Giphy
We were teenagers, he lived in a different province, and we used to chat on skype. He wanted me to think he was a "bada$$" or something and would always talk about his drug use. He ended up faking a heroin overdose when we were on chat together.
I was hysterically crying and freaking out thinking I was watching someone dying and was trying to figure out how to call 911 in another province when he "snapped out of it" and told me he was actually okay. I didn't talk to him much after that.
- Shelvis
Stealing From The Homeless
Stole from a homeless person.
We were walking together downtown and she saw a bucket of coins in front of a pharmacy. She just scooped it all up and kept walking. Guy comes out as she's 20 feet away or so and yells at her, she keeps moving. I stood there and just gave him a $20 and didn't hang out with her anymore. We were 14 and 15.
- setzRFD
DGAF
When I realized that she just wasn't that into me!
Spent a couple of weeks chatting with her just on Whatsapp/social media (due to lockdown) and she'd engage just enough for me to message her back each time but felt like I was always having to carry the conversation.
Had a Zoom chat with another female friend a few days later and it was actually friendly and enjoyable, which made it all the more stark that trying to talk to my crush has been like trying to talk to a brick-wall the past couple of weeks.
Conclusion: it's hard to stay attracted to someone who DGAF
MLM
Huge crush on a fellow uni student. I was invited over for what I expected to be a platonic study date (but hey, any time spent is better than just being alone, or so I thought). Got there and found another student from class also. Ok, study group?
Turns out her mom and her set us up for a full press MLM pitch. Video, literature, the works. I stayed a bit not to be rude, excused myself shortly, and only talked to her in class just in passing from then on. Huge let down.
That is probably the most insane thing I could imagine. You know damn well she's not keeping friends after that.
- Valley_G
A Universally Hated Being
Turned out to be the person eating everyone else's food from the break room fridge.
- tunaforthursdaytunaforthursday
When this happened at my work the manager said everyone start putting your names on your lunch. But the person stealing knows it's not theirs in the first place. Now they just have the satisfaction of knowing who's lunch they're stealing.
- sjaana
Never had anyone take my food from the fridge, but if they did....then it is war they have chosen
Red Flag
Said "I don't care what people say about you, I think you're great!" And when I inquired as to what, pray tell, everyone else was saying about me, he spewed a bunch of fake comments designed to make me assuage his insecurities.
"They say you think I'm ugly, you're just playing me, you aren't looking for anything serious..."
I don't mind if people have insecurities, but the fact that he brought them up in a weird, deceitful way just fishing for the compliments was a huge red flag and an immediate turn-off.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...
Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
Those Days...
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!
queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
"And Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith were born on the same day!"
- osme1
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV Time
Season 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
- VVillyD
A Croc
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Story
william shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.