Love hurts. That is a sad fact. As much as love is a splendid thing, it also can be a painful knife in the heart. And one of the most relatable pains is that of unrequited love. When you yearn for another and one, they have no idea or two... they're just not that into you. That can be a heavy burden to carry. Having a crush is not often a fun secret to harbor. The best way to work through it, is to expose it, so that you can see what happens. Talk about good drama...Redditor u/seculargoddess wanted everyone to discuss the times we all had to accept when we knew, a certain love had to be left behind by asking... What helped you get over a crush you had for years?
I've lost count of the amount of crushes I've had. I'm definitely in double digits and I've exposed at least ninety percent of them. And ninety percent of them... went absolutely nowhere fast. Alas. I will say that a large portion of the outcomes stung my heart a bit, but in hindsight... Lord did I dodge some mighty lethal bullets. Who can relate?
Across the Quad...Season 3 Hello GIF by FriendsGiphy
One day I saw her across the quad. I waved and she stopped walking and just stood there. I walked towards her and realised that she wasn't walking towards me. Then I realised she'd never walked towards me, never sought me out, never put effort into our friendship, let alone anything else our relationship might develop into. It took a bit to process, but that was the moment that helped me break free.
Well, for me, I kept telling myself that I did not fall in love with her, but with the idea of her. I had always imagined a future with her... I wouldn't bore you with the details, but yeah in those imaginations she seemed to be so excited about my presence, I mean she was in real life too (she's a pretty good friend of mine), but in those dreams, a little more, I guess? But anyway the fabricated and real girl were almost pole opposites in nature. So I kept telling myself for three years that the girl I actually had a crush on never existed.
I liked the girl in my imagination, and there, she liked me back too; it wasn't the case with the real one. So that's what helped me move on from her. She's still my friend, maybe we're not as close as we were before, maybe its for the best. I still sometimes get slight feelings for her, but I'm sure it will wear out with time.
Ohh here's my time to shine...
So I got into this girl in middle school. I've had a mad crush on her for five, long freaking years. The reason why I didn't confess was that I was the rejected kid, zero friends and a weirdo and she on the other hand was popular, smart and intelligent. So I always admired her from the sidelines, under the radar and she was completely unknown of my existence. In High school I made a few friends, who told me to stop being a wimp and confess.
So I walked up to her one day in recess and confessed. She made a disgusted face and said that no way in hell she'd be with me and she was in a relationship anyways. I walked away disappointed in myself and feeling real down. Then a few minutes later her boyfriend came up to me, he said that he was listening from a distance and said he had chewed her out for her reaction. I know that I shouldn't have taken her seriously but I actually felt low for a month.
This guy approached me every day, asked how I was doing. Later on we made best friends. Later on the girl dumped him and he told me all that was wrong about her and how she was a complete jerk and I had dodged a bullet.
This guy helped me a lot in recovering from that blow and he's the reason why I'm actually making more friends
Note: this happened a year ago
Tl;dr : Girl humiliated me for confessing, but her boyfriend made best friends with me and helped me recover.
Samies....Yep Reaction GIF by Rosanna PansinoGiphy
Our interests were too similar. I liked girls, so did she.
10 Years In
I had a crush on some guy for about 10 years. I finally decided to text him after he and his longterm gf broke up (I waited over a year). He did not seem uninterested, but it was so hard to get the conversation going. It felt like I was talking to a 13 year old boy who was only interested in motorcycles and breaking every rule on earth to look cool.
One evening he asked me if I wanted to meet up in town (we were both out with friends, precovid). He then proceeded to ask me if I was going to "perform oral sex on him.") I never responded.
See there... the Lord does work in mysterious ways. All that time spent pondering what if, when we should be saying... no thank you. And a few of those, like many of us, always end up better as friends, you just need to remove the love googles. They make your vision blurry. Let's continue...
A lot of time. A lot of crying and a lot of time spent on my own.
It's time. I thought I would never get over someone (we had a very odd relationship). But as time went on, I worked on myself. And now I'm with someone who was the best of all that other person, plus a lot more. Without all the negatives. Now I don't feel anything for the old relationship, but I check in and say hi as a friend here and there.
It just takes time. Can take years. It's like getting past an addiction.
6 Feet back...
Keep distance and get some hobbies.
Definitely distance. I used to see him everyday at work and hang out after work. Then I got a new job, we didn't catch up after work so much. And the crush fell away.
Also everyone at work used to joke about us being a couple and how he was in love with me. I wonder if I leaned in to that thinking? And built the crush? Like would I have thought about him in "that way" if no one had put the idea in my head he was obviously in love with me?
All Night Long...james mcavoy im going to be doing that all night GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
He rejected me and I sat up all night crying and eventually realized that the last 4 years I'd had a crush on him I had pretty much just looked at all the positive interactions and filled in the rest of the time by projecting a personality onto him.
I asked her out. She said no. Ended up becoming friends. Still don't recall how or when exactly i got over her, i guess hanging out with her over the years made me realize that being friends is better than being together. She's a wonderful friend, though she still made fun of me for asking her out that time.
FactsFacts GIF by Judge JerryGiphy
The fact that I just stopped initiating the conversation and that was the last time we talked.
It's going to be what it is. Don't sit on it for too long. One of the worst feelings is a missed opportunity. If they're meant to stay in your life after the reveal, they will. If not... ciao bella.
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I am notorious for changing my mind. I can be in love one second and be running away the next. I have no explanation for it. My therapists and I are working hard to figure it out. So when I'm into you, you have to tread lightly because anything little thing can sour me on a person. Now, there are big, glaring things that could make anyone change their mind on a crush. Let's see what counts as a dismissal...Redditor u/qWeRtEeE372 was wondering what broke the illusion of love for some by asking... What did you catch your crush doing that immediately made you dislike him/her?
I can't stand someone who has no idea of direction. Or someone who can't make a decision on dinner. Also, if you kill people, that would be a big issue. The list is long for me. I can't wait to hear what people add.
Oh Hell No...bye bye goodbye GIFGiphy
He made fun of my autistic brother.
Took a girlfriend to see my sister's horse. Horse nuzzles her. Ex GF violently whips the horses face. Nope. never see her again.
I had a similar one. Girlfriend and I handing out candy on Halloween. I happened to have a brand new kitten at the time. Kid at the door says "Aw, kitten!". Girlfriend slams down metal candy bowl -- CLANG! -- sends kitten frantically scrambling away. Wow.
The Other Guy
Had a huge crush on this boy in high school. One day he invited me and my sister to go over and "hang out" at a mutual friend's house after school. So we are all just hanging out and we're talking and he keeps asking me who I'm texting on my phone. I told him I was checking in with my mom. And he literally took the phone from my hand and started looking through all my messages.
He said "I didn't invite you here so you could text other guys." There was no "other guy" I was texting and there is just so many red flags in that situation. I never really talked to him again after that.
Fakeoh come on jim carrey GIFGiphy
Lied about being a marine and having been shot. Yeah, big no from me, bud.
My brother had a friend just after high school that was super hot. He was also really nice to me and had manners when he came over.
Flash forward a few years, he's helping my brother and I with a tree removal job. He starts chewing tobacco and spitting it EVERYWHERE on this person's property, pees in their bushes, brags about having 5 kids by different women and that he doesn't pay child support, that he was a "fifth year senior, dude, haha!"
Ruined it. He was ugly in an instant. He was really smart at one point, had a good job, was on the path to a good place. I don't know what happened but ewww.
Okay. ALL of that is reasonable for people to say goodbye. Downright cruelty is abhorrent. Some people are just not worth the time or effort. Not sure how it could get much worse but...
He ran a 2-way stop sign/blinking red light in a 55 mph zone. The intersection has clear open views for at least a half mile on both sides and he claimed he didn't see anyone coming. But a woman with her kids in the car was right there and t-boned him as he ran through. Both cars were totaled. When I picked him up he kept bragging about how he wouldn't apologize to her because it would be an admission of guilt.
Saying he knows all about how to handle these kinds of situations. And then said it was her fault because he ran the stop on accident but she should've stopped once he was in front of her. In a 55 mph zone. It was super creepy and cold hearted.
She was freaking with her boyfriend's older brother while said boyfriend was in the hospital for an accident caused by said older brother.
She was popular in school too and had a lot of admirers but once it came out what she did, not even the other unpopular kids wanted her near them.
MeowLil Bub Cat GIFGiphy
She was holding a cat by its tail and spinning it around her at astounding speed. The cat's fine though don't worry.
I finally got to have a deep conversation with him and realized that he was dumb as bricks. He thought that the earth was flat (this was in the late 90s/early 00s) he thought England was a dead empire like ancient Rome or the byzantine empire. He thought rhinos and horses were related like how dogs and wolves are. He thought that all cultures were divided by race; all black people had the same culture regardless of country, all asian countries had the same exact culture, all hispanic countries were the same exact culture... etc.
Edit: regarding England, he thought it had collapsed after the renaissance period and all that was left were ruins. He thought that England was a large mass of land that connected to Europe during the renaissance period and then when it sank or was destroyed, the island that was left is now Great Britain.
Keep Away...No Way Reaction GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy
My ex didn't stop for an ambulance to pass us.
I knew then he was not a keeper.
Send them packing and get yourself a saging kit, and maybe call up an exorcist. At least you see true colors before it's too late. Don't ignore the red flags y'all. A crush is just a crush. Love will come again.
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High school crushes are the stuff horribly inappropriate dreams are made of. That feeling of butterflies 'til you want to hurl is something almost all of us know--and love to hate... or hate that we love.
Depends on how sappy you are.
There isn't a high school based bit of media out there that doesn't feature at least one character having a crush so heavy it seems like they can barely function--and that's because teen feels are the biggest most ridiculous feels of all. They're the kind that can change you for forever.
One Reddit user asked:
Most of the responders spoke about those high school crushes with quite a bit of fondness, proving my point.
He had a rollercoaster of a life. I admire him more than ever, and more than most people I know, but can't wrap my head around why I ever found him physically attractive. Maybe it was always just his heart.
By age 25, he had a PhD, a wife, and was a captain in the navy. By 30, he had two PhDs, a small business where he made a metric ton of money, and his wife was pregnant.
By 31 he was diagnosed with stage-4 skin cancer that swiftly spread to his lymph nodes, bones, esophagus, and a few other places. He was told he had minimal chance of making it 5 more years. Even with the best health insurance money can buy, it still basically wiped him out.
Seven years later, he's living a comfortable but not extravagant life as a civilian contractor for the navy, same wife and two happy healthy kids, and spends most of his free time advocating for better public health care.
Do Oversspeaking the universe GIF by NBCGiphy
Haha, he's my husband!
Our first marriages didn't work out and we reconnected after our divorces.
If only I would have confessed I had a crush on him in high school, might have saved myself a lot of trouble... Lol
That's exactly like me and my current husband! Except, I'm glad that we did our own thing before we got together. He was wayyyyy to immature as a young adult and would have messed it up.
Me too! After marrying other people, children and divorces, we reconnected and now we're married.
We are best friends, lovers and he makes me laugh like no one else. I love my husband.
After that ended in violence, I went home to heal and reconnected with my crush on Myspace. We've been together 12 years now, married 5, and have 2 adorable girls together.
It was good though that we didn't get together in high school. He had an on again/off again high school sweetheart that he kept going back to and I think if we'd gotten together then, I would've been a rebound and not a permanent thing.
No One To Blame
She's still hot, a successful and wealthy entrepreneur, and married someone with the same first name as me and who quit his job to brew beer.
I crushed on her for a bit, didn't think she was interested so I dated others, then come to find out she crushed on me senior year, I was too dumb and blind, we connected freshman year of college, she wrote me letters, and by the time I wised up she had moved on.
No one to blame but myself.
I had a huge crush on a guy I was close friends with in high school. We graduated in the early 2000s.
He overdosed and died in 2019.
I got to see him before he was taken off life support with a really good mutual friend we shared (organ donor too). It was surreal seeing him dwarfed by all these machines.
He had one the largest hearts I've ever come across.
Testing The Waters
Still cute as heck, one of the kindest and most sensitive people I know, and still one of my best friends 15 years later.
He's also recently divorced (his wife was gay but needed time and support to come to terms with it) and now he and I are slowly testing the waters :) What started as a crush has matured into a deep and rich friendship, and—however it may unfold—I'm so grateful to have that relationship in my life.
That Last Sentence
Still a ten for looks. I'm sure she kept on as the amazing, kind person she is. She moved to another country, speaks multiple languages and is more successful than I imagined.
She seems happy but we haven't talked since the time I told her how I felt about her about 20 years ago.
Too Much Success?
Went on to be a teenaged model for hair products, graduated from Yale, toured Europe, opened her own successful ceramics company that is sold worldwide and is often written up in magazines.
Makes me feel like sh*t every time I think of her.
Buddy life isn't fair nor equal. Some people start from 0 some start from -4 some start from 10 because they had so much opportunities and lots of support.
Its unfair to compare yourself to anyone ... like it's not supposed to be a thing at all because everyones life is different
"But Erica," you say to yourself "High school was the bullest of sh*ts, not some Hollywood feel good coming of age story! It was hell and there is NO WAY I'm speaking with 'fondness' about ... "
Shhh shh shh, my little bitter Betties. I feel you.
My high school crush joined a cult, changed his name, and has embraced misogyny and pseudo-science like it's a profession.
(If you're reading this, no a woman's period is not supposed to be a dot, it has nothing to do with her diet, you don't know how women's bodies work and I hope you get it together before your daughter gets her first menses.)
For those of you who didn't exactly get the 80's movie ending (or got the Less Than Zero 80's movie ending instead of the Sixteen Candles 80's movie ending) - take heart.
It sucked for these people too.
Little PigBad Girls Club Lol GIF by OxygenGiphy
Back when I was younger and crushing hard I got on AOL instant messenger and had gotten my crush's screenname from a friend. I worked up the nerve to start a conversation with him and soon after some awkward small talk he sent me a message in Comic Sans, black background, red lettering, and in French.
I then went to google for translation and found out he had just called me a pig, in French. Being a seemingly awkward and chubby teenager, I was literally crushed.
The heartbreak was only made worse by remembering that a few weeks prior I had selected to take French class the next year and couldn't change it.
Years later now that I've blossomed he follows me on every social media platform, has reached out a couple of times to try and flirt/hang out. Hard pass.
I believe he's moved away and is a teacher now.
My only girlfriend in high school was my crush. Her mom banned her from dating me after about a year because my GF admitted to her mom that we were fooling around. This was about 20 years ago.
She's still living with her mom, no kids, and as far as I know never again dated seriously after her mom broke us up. Still has the same job from high school too. It's like her mom went way into protective overdrive and my former GF never grew up.
There are 3 women here on my street (they're my neighbors, they don't live on the street) that are old (one in her 50's and the others in their 60's) and never had a partner.
Two of them are sisters and live together, the other lives alone. They all had the same story: their parents were too restrictive and never let them date anyone. So now they're old and are socially awkward.
The sisters never even had a pet before their mom died. Now they have a cute puppy.
I find their situation really sad. You should respect your parents but you shouldn't follow only their will.
For Other's Entertainment
I remember walking up to her and asking if we could talk in private, and she said you can say what you need in front of everyone (her group of friends were all around).
So I asked if she wanted to go on a date. She burst out laughing and said "yeah, Um no.."
It was rough, man.
Looked her up last year and she's a cage fighter now.
I guess she's always been a pro at hurting people for others' entertainment.
I had two unrealized crushes in high school. One is a teacher and musician. She is married and has either one or two kids. We've kept in loose contact via social media and ran into each other at a NYE party shortly before she got married. I was introduced to her now-husband as 'favorite ex ever.'
He seemed like a decent dude and I'm happy for her.
I believe the other became a US Attorney. I have not heard from her since google+ almost became a social media thing. I imagine she's still very productive and would be disappointed in my life choices.
I was a freshman and had a crush on a senior. To add to it, she was a cheerleader and her brother played QB for the football team (and got a college scholarship.)
She showed up at a football game a couple of years later with a baby in tow. She's married now and back in her hometown. That's about all I know.
Remember MeHappy Eddie Murphy GIF by LaffGiphy
Found her on tinder, she said I was hot. Pointed out that I was that loser she used to know in high school. Had a big laugh. Been a little over a year, now we send each other memes and hang out occasionally when the pandemic isn't being a witch.
The Good Guys
They both ended up as great guys.
One has a huge family and is a minister. The other only has one child and is a college professor. Both married nice people and are happy.
They were really good guys in high school and ended up being really good adults. I've got both of them on Facebook and we keep in touch peripherally as we stayed friends over the years.
It was one of those days where they just suddenly pop into your head and you decide to try and look them up on Facebook. Found him. He ended up being a pilot. Added him and we became Facebook friends. Turns out he has a flight attendant girlfriend and they were traveling together and then few months after being fb friends they shared the news they were having a baby haha.
All the Boys
I had several!
One of them is still a close friend, and he became a primary care doctor. He also officiated my wedding.
I have no idea what happened to another one. We didn't really have overlapping friend groups and she doesn't do social media.
One of them is a math professor now, so that's pretty cool.
My BIGGEST crush in high school was my longtime neighbor, but it also fizzled out pretty quickly after we went to homecoming together. We're still good friends, and our families still keep in touch. He's also the guy who introduced me to my husband.
I had three. One from the first two years and two from the last two.
The first one is now F to M trans, who walked to Colorado to join a cult/commune. He is now in Arizona recording rap albums.
The second girl moved to Florida and lives in a swamp.
She periodically hits me up to tell me she misses me, how dumb I was that I didn't follow through, that we should get married.
The third was a missionary. She wasn't really into it once she grew up, came back home and I introduced her to one of my closest friends. They've been married for 15 years.
I briefly worked with mine and didn't realise it was her until I left for another job. She looked almost unrecognisable, but it was 15 years after I last saw her. She's married with a couple of kids now, so pretty standard life I guess.
She be Fancyartist GIF by Upamanyu BhattacharyyaGiphy
You made me check and she is actually a very successful artist and an art teacher at a renowned university in France. She even got decorated for her work (Chevalier des arts et des lettres).
EDIT: Thanks for the attention, i'm not really willing to give much more details. I'm just going to add that she's french and she's not teaching in Paris.
He was this nice cool guy who would consistently post memes and stuff on social media. Then 2 or 3 years later, he deleted all of his social media. I don't have his phone number or know any friends that know him so I don't know how he's doing but I hope he's doing well.
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The ladies love gay men. The ladies love us. They just do. I have been checked out at the gym so often by women that one day I became so frustrated I had to speak. On this particular day, I was running like a fiend on the treadmill, and this lovely young woman sidled up onto the treadmill next to me. She would not stop eyeing me, flipping her hair and would incessantly try to make small talk; which I regretfully engaged in.
Finally near the end of the run, just as I was about to finish she pushed my shoulder to ask me if I wanted to grab a drink. I was thrown off because I was focused on my finish and because her push was more a shove and I fell to the floor. I wanted to read her for filth but instead just yelled... "leave me alone... I have a man!" She got the memo! As did the gym.Redditor u/lil_Chickens wanted to hear how the boys out there let down a lady or two by letting them know... we bat for the same team girl. They asked... Gay men of reddit, have you ever pulled the "I have a boyfriend" on a girl? If so what was their reaction?
No Tanks Pleasegay men GIFGiphy
I have had a drunk girl very awkwardly trying to flirt with me. I laughed it off at first until her boyfriend showed up and seemed ready to start a fight. I told him don't worry I am gay, and no he is not my type either, and he just deflated. It's kinda funny really. From then on I save my tank tops for gay bars only.
Backfired so freaking hard. I was with a guy I had gone on like 3 dates with and got along great with but it was still new. He overheard me tell this girl "I'm really sorry but I'm actually here with my boyfriend". He was nearby, overheard "boyfriend", had a little "we're moving too fast" panic attack and bailed.
I thought it'd be something we'd have a laugh about, planned to get together for some food the next day but he ended up flaking.
He was a really self conscious person, think he felt awkward about the whole thing and how he reacted. C'est la vie! He was a good guy, no ill will. Just a bit of a facepalm. I should have just let that girl get handsy.
Gonna be honest, it was just a line I had used before to get some of the creepier older gents in gay bars to stop bothering me, I figured hey, this has never let me down. Mistakes were made.
Just Say No
Years ago this girl approached me at a bar and asked if she could have my number, I was totally thrown for a loop. I told her I was gay and she got super offended and said "if you're not interested, then just say so!" and stormed off. I felt bad.
Damn Genitalia...gay GIFGiphy
I was shamelessly hitting on this guy until he just straight up told me:
"You know I am gay, right?"
I in fact did not know. We are really good friends now and constantly joke that our genitalia is getting in the way of the romance of a lifetime.
"So what's up with you?"
When I said "I have a boyfriend," they left me alone right away. Nowadays when I say "I have a husband," they get a lot more aggressive. A few recent ones: at the grocery store and a girl small talks me a bit before asking for my number. Told her that I'm married and she brushed it off like she didn't hear me. Started switching it up and complimenting my appearance a lot. Another one is at the gas station where this girl outright got next to me and started touching my arm and just said "So what's up with you?"
Again, she ignored me when I said I had a husband and pressed harder on me
When my husband and I dated, they'd back off right away. Both men and women. I think it's just me being married, and very little to do with him being my husband, that gets the interest higher.
Had a very good looking young lady (30's) point out to her very good looking boyfriend (30's) that I (55) was perving on her. He was a bit annoyed and asked 'WTF man'. I said "Hang on i'll ask my husband". The guy giggled and said to his lady 'He's cool he's perving on me'. It was so good to see such cool guy.
At the Library...
Happened a couple times when girls assumed I was hitting on them. At the library once, I asked a girl (who was sitting alone at a table that could sit 10) if I could sit by her. She gave me that irritated look, "I have a boyfriend." I replied "So do I," and I just sat down. That attitude is very widespread among straight women, from my experience - unless I just constantly sound unwittingly flirty.
I have been accused of hitting on girls several times when I never did. Worst so far was a girl at a party who was going around and telling every guest that I was undressing her with my eyes. Thankfully, most of the guests were my friends and knew I'm gay, lol.
But I'm 5'11sexy swimming pool GIF by ROMEOGiphy
Oooooh do I have one for y'all. So I live in Texas and being gay is still not widely accepted here so it shocks people when I tell them. This has happened to me multiple times. The one that stands out the most is that this woman actually told me I'm too tall to be gay. What does that mean? I'm literally 5' 11"? I am so confused by this.
I pulled an 'i have a girlfriend' on a creepy man who I found out later was a serial killer. I'm a gay man, the serial killer was Stephen Port aka the grinder killer. I was a getting a bus close to his apartment when he approached me in the early hours. Saying I had a girlfriend did not immediately deter him however. Terrifying experience.
At D & Ddunkin donuts omg GIF by Dunkin’Giphy
I've had to do it a few times, usually they apologize and stop, but sometimes they done.
My boyfriend had me pick him up a coffee from dunkin donuts and the lady at the window kept talking about how she couldn't find a boyfriend and then started asking what I'm doing that night. I told her about my boyfriend expecting her to stop, but she didn't so i just drove off.
"No thank you, I'm gay"
I was in Thailand with my ex and I would always get harassed by sex workerrs to buy their services. One night were both on our way back to the hotel and as usual and one approached us. I said "No thank you, I'm gay" to which she responds "I don't believe you" so I kissed him in front of her and she says "You make a cute couple" and walked away.
Actually...Gay Hearts GIFGiphy
One day I was walking home from a college class, and these two girls were hogging up the entire sidewalk walking side by side.
I slowed down a bit as I walked closer behind them and was waiting for them to either make room or else I was just gonna walk on the grass past them. One girl looked at me and then went back to talking without moving so I just walked on the grass past them and as I get back on the sidewalk in front of them I heard one of them say "I think he was checking us out" and I just stopped and said "actually I like guys" and then kept walking.
I'm a Lesbian
I'm a lesbian, but I have a funny story.
I worked in retail and was very openly gay. One of my coworkers invited me over to hang out at his place with a friend. I was kinda nervous to drink with a couple dudes I didn't know, but he's always been a really nice and everyone had good things to say about him. I ended up taking him up on his offer. Towards the end of the night we were pretty smashed and he tried to make a move on me. I just sat there very confused for a minute. When I hesitated he immediately started backing off saying "hey no worries, figured I'd just shoot my shot."
I told him "I'm flattered, but I'm also super gay." He laughed it off, apologized and we ended up becoming pretty decent friends and partying together regularly. Definitely the nicest drunk dude I've ever known. I've had a lot of really horrible experiences with dudes at parties, so this guy being so genuine and treating me like a living, breathing, human being was so refreshing.
Okay, not gay, but have pulled the "I have a boyfriend" card. So the story is, I'm a pretty femme guy. I like fashion, hair, make-up, that sort of thing. I saw a woman in the store who was just having a fantastic hair day, and I mentioned it to her. She said, "Umm, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate you hitting on me." I said, "Oh honey, if I was hitting on you, my boyfriend would be far more upset." Then she just looked at me while she tried to figure it out, so I helped it along. "Ever had a straight guy compliment your haircut before?" Then she was flattered and felt good and we both went about our days.
In high school, this girl messaged me over facebook asking me to prom and telling me that she loved me. I told her that that's sweet but I'm gay. Turns out she also did this to one of my other gay friends after I turned her down.
Maybe a 7...not bad chris geere GIF by You're The Worst Giphy
I'm a solid 6 in the USA, but not immediately detectable as gay.
When I lived in Brazil, my blond hair and red beard made me "exotic" and equivalent to an 8 there, and women were CONSTANTLY aggressively hitting on me.
I would tell them I was gay, but they very often didn't believe me and continued their hard-sell approach. It really made me realise what it's like for women when men are just relentless. Sooooo annoying.
No, because I wouldn't date them if I didn't have a boyfriend. If I'm hit on by a woman, I let them know I'm gay. If I tell them I have a boyfriend, that implies I'd otherwise be interested, and I'm not.
The response I've gotten to "sorry, I'm gay" varies wildly. Most women are shocked and some think I'm joking. Some take it as a challenge and keep hitting on me anyway. I've lost a couple female friends who refused to take no for an answer (seriously ladies, respecting boundaries is a 2way street).
With the Lads
I am not gay, but when I'm at the bar with the lads (back in the long long ago when going to bars was a thing), I use a line similar to this.
I notice women seem to think if they flirt with me, I will buy them a drink. Perhaps because I am ogrish and dress nicely they think I am desperate and rich enough to pay for their drinks? Anyways, a couple of years ago, I had this lady flirting with me for a few minutes followed by "So, are you going to buy me a drink?" I replied with...
"Let me go ask my boyfriend. He carries all our money."
Then I go up to one of my buddies, tell him about the situation, and we look at the poor girl and laugh and laugh and kiss.
but you're hot!
Me and my boyfriend were at a straight club. Some girl kept grinding up on him and told him constantly "you're so hot!" He said he had a boyfriend, (me), and she didn't believe him and kept grinding away on him. He kinda yelled at her and said "STOP IT, He's RIGHT THERE! Now STOP!!" She turns to me, who is across the bar her face just DROPS, and she walks away like a sad puppy. Head down, slow pace away. Since I was with my other friend across the bar I had no idea why she looked so sad after looking at me... I didn't know what she did to my bf at the time just beforehand.
Just a Kissolivia newton-john gay GIFGiphy
"Sorry, I'm taken" "Really? You don't look like someone who has a girlfriend" "Because I don't have *kisses the guy sitting next to him*".
They say love is blind, but there are some things even "love" can't ignore - like the clear message sent when someone invites you on a date and you get there only to realize you're not the only "potential suitor" there and that the date is, in fact, an MLM pitch.
One Reddit user asked:
And fam, that was a real actual response. I just ... I ...
And that wasn't even the worst one! People are just out here snatching defeat from the jaws of victory left and right. We've got abusers, MLM pitches, and someone who lost to a cat. We've got insecurity and control issues on full display.
But people, far and away, the biggest takeaway from all of this is that cleaning up after yourself is seriously important. It's one of the easiest things you can do to help your date not be disgusted by you.
Turns out, people don't like hanging out in a home with literal poo on the floors. Who knew?
His sister actually approached me and let me know that he was once arrested for locking their other pregnant sister in their basement, went on a drug binge while she desperately tried to get out, and went outside to beat their unsuspecting neighbors van with a golf club. That was a big'ol nope.
Our interactions were quite pleasant so I was interested in getting to know him better. We talked a lot about common interests such as the newest video games coming out for the xbox360 at the time, and our 90's nostalgia. It had never occurred to me to ask
"Hey, you ever just feel like locking your annoying pregnant sister in the basement and snorting a mountain of blow? Also fck vans, am I right?"
It was really cool of her to tell me about all of that, and she actually continued to warn women about him even if some of the girls wouldn't listen and had to experience first hand. She's really out here for her fellow females.
Racism And One Hoodie
Racism. Racism was the dealbreaker.
In tenth grade, I was absolutely pining over a girl in my U.S history class. I'm a very outgoing person, but something about this girl made me extremely nervous and flustered. I nearly had a panic attack when I first said hi to her. Why did I like her? I have no idea.
She was one of those suspiciously quiet girls that would draw anime and only wear one hoodie. I'm serious. She wore ONE hoodie and seemed to not own any other shirts. I don't think she was poor; she had a really nice sketchbook and a new phone. Maybe she just didn't know how to dress, but that wasn't even the dealbreaker for me.
It was about five months into me liking her. Our class was going to the black history month assembly that my school was hosting all throughout the day. During lunch, about 30 minutes before the assembly would have started, I texted her asking if she'd like to sit next to me during it.
She coldly replied something along the lines of, "I don't even want to go to this assembly. Black people are super lazy and just sit around and complain about their situation. they don't even do anything about it."
I never thought I could flip-the-switch on my feelings, but that was the day I stopped liking the one-hoodie-wearing weeb.
Dirty V. Filthy
She invited me over to her place - not as a date thing, but just to hang out as friends. Her house was absolutely filthy and the glass of coke she gave me had a hair in it. She was really cute, had a great personality, and was a genuinely nice person, but as soon as I saw cat sh!t on the floor near the front door, and just dirty everything my crush disappeared and I left in a hurry
I am fine with mess and clutter. That stuff just needs tidying up. I cannot handle FILTH. This is absolutely filthy
Has a crush on a coworker at my job from when I was about 18ish. He would talk to me on messenger and asked me to hang out sometime, but no plans were ever made. Heard from a mutual friend who also worked there that he told another friend he thought I was annoying....but HE was the one who asked me to hang out and it wasn't like I pushed to make plans??
Oh and I guess he realized I heard about this so he proceeded to overcompensate by being extra nice to me at work. Lost my lady erection instantly.
He wanted to look through my phone on our first date to make sure I wasn't talking to anyone else. That was our last date.
This shouldn't be on any date, any time, ever. That's a red flag to a controlling abuser. Good dodge.
WARNING: critical levels of insecurity detected. Abort mission immediately.
We work together and as I got to know him more I learned he talked badly about everyone. Nurses that are amazing he'd belittle, talk about how certain people don't know what they're doing because they asked for an ultrasound IV as they were struggling getting a vein on a heroin addict. The paramedics were worthless, doctors don't know what they're doing, who he thought was hooking up, etc.
It completely turned me off. He's in his early 40's and into gossip more than my teenage daughter.
Trash My Ride
He picked me up for our first date and his car was disgusting. Not talking a few trash items, the entire backseat and floorboard was completely covered in piled up trash, even up front. I had to step on empty McDonald's bags, old soda bottles, wrappers etc to even get in.
And all he said was, just move it around with your feet. No sorry or anything. Made me feel like trash too. Like dang, couldn't even clean up a little?
He probably did clean up. The passenger seat was likely completely piled up before. Probably thought he did a big thing. Yuck.
Our first date together started with him removing the steering wheel from his car & locking it in his trunk (when we got to dinner). Then we spent 3 hours of him talking about himself the. entire. time.
Baby Mama Drama
She asked me if I was good with kids because she was pregnant with her ex and that's she's not good with kids (it was the first date)
Proceeded to take an explosive sht and intentionally left the door open while talking to me, 10 mins after we hooked up for the first time.
I can not stress how absolutely explosive this sht was.
She detested cats and insisted that I give up my furry buddy before she'd move in with me.
It wasn't that she was allergic to cats. She issued the ultimatum because - according to her - my cat "received too much of my time and affection, and she wasn't going to 'compete'."
Lmao imagine laying awake at night knowing you lost to a cat.
We Got A Bada$$ Over HereGiphy
We were teenagers, he lived in a different province, and we used to chat on skype. He wanted me to think he was a "bada$$" or something and would always talk about his drug use. He ended up faking a heroin overdose when we were on chat together.
I was hysterically crying and freaking out thinking I was watching someone dying and was trying to figure out how to call 911 in another province when he "snapped out of it" and told me he was actually okay. I didn't talk to him much after that.
Stealing From The Homeless
Stole from a homeless person.
We were walking together downtown and she saw a bucket of coins in front of a pharmacy. She just scooped it all up and kept walking. Guy comes out as she's 20 feet away or so and yells at her, she keeps moving. I stood there and just gave him a $20 and didn't hang out with her anymore. We were 14 and 15.
When I realized that she just wasn't that into me!
Spent a couple of weeks chatting with her just on Whatsapp/social media (due to lockdown) and she'd engage just enough for me to message her back each time but felt like I was always having to carry the conversation.
Had a Zoom chat with another female friend a few days later and it was actually friendly and enjoyable, which made it all the more stark that trying to talk to my crush has been like trying to talk to a brick-wall the past couple of weeks.
Conclusion: it's hard to stay attracted to someone who DGAF
Huge crush on a fellow uni student. I was invited over for what I expected to be a platonic study date (but hey, any time spent is better than just being alone, or so I thought). Got there and found another student from class also. Ok, study group?
Turns out her mom and her set us up for a full press MLM pitch. Video, literature, the works. I stayed a bit not to be rude, excused myself shortly, and only talked to her in class just in passing from then on. Huge let down.
That is probably the most insane thing I could imagine. You know damn well she's not keeping friends after that.
A Universally Hated Being
Turned out to be the person eating everyone else's food from the break room fridge.
When this happened at my work the manager said everyone start putting your names on your lunch. But the person stealing knows it's not theirs in the first place. Now they just have the satisfaction of knowing who's lunch they're stealing.
Never had anyone take my food from the fridge, but if they did....then it is war they have chosen
Said "I don't care what people say about you, I think you're great!" And when I inquired as to what, pray tell, everyone else was saying about me, he spewed a bunch of fake comments designed to make me assuage his insecurities.
"They say you think I'm ugly, you're just playing me, you aren't looking for anything serious..."
I don't mind if people have insecurities, but the fact that he brought them up in a weird, deceitful way just fishing for the compliments was a huge red flag and an immediate turn-off.