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People Break Down Which Lessons Their Parents Taught Them That Turned Out To Be Totally Wrong

When you're a kid, you tend to see your parents as all-knowing people. This is the reason why a lot of youngsters maintain the same religious and political beliefs that their parents passed down to them. However, once you become a full-grown adult, you start to realize that your parents are just regular people--insecure and scared just like the rest of us. Which makes us think, “did they really know best?"


Here are a few examples of the lessons passed down to children, before they realized that they were 100% wrong.

Redditor nousername1982 asked:

What is that one thing your parents taught you, that later turned to be totally wrong?

​First up, relationships. A lot of times when we’re kids, our parents will teach us things about how people show their love to each other. Depending on the parents, it typically ends up being heteronormative BS, but usually well-meaning.

This is how people end up in toxic relationships as adults.

"They're only picking on you/being mean because they LIKE you."

No, no. They're just being aholes.

KnockMeYourLobes

My aunt, who babysat me after school, told me this when a boy in my class bit me in the first grade. He also punched me between the shoulder blades and was given the "boys will be boys" treatment by the teacher.

My dad told me "if he does it again tell him you're going to punch his teeth in, if he doesn't stop punch his teeth in."

He hit me again and I threatened to knock his teeth in, the teacher saw me do it and I got in trouble and was given detention. My aunt told my dad when he got home what had happened. Dad says to my aunt "yeah, I told her to say that. Kid sounds like a punk."

Camp_Express

That’s messed up.

sex ed GIFGiphy

That I would get pregnant as soon as I had sex. Told me that as a teenager, so I was terrified I'd get pregnant every time I interacted with a penis. Now (a decade later), I'm married and have been actually trying and it turns it out it's not as easy as they made it sound.

Emilyyy712

Ladies, please never try to “fix” a narcissist.

​That you have to "suffer for love" (I'm a chick). Thanks mom, you set me up for a lifetime of trying to change narcissistic losers.

Bailey052211

Grew up with only a dad. Got some stupid advice from him and the various divorcees that pass through the house:

  • The woman should be the heart of the house
  • Not feeling comfortable around a new girlfriend == not wanting my father to be happy.
  • Not liking a girlfriend which is very disrespectful to me and my family == not wanting my dad to be happy.
  • I shouldn't say what I think, just hint.
  • I should be with anyone if he agrees to be with me, and be grateful.
  • If didn't find the love of my life in high school, I won't.
  • I should immediately break up with someone if he disrespects me.

My dad was a single parent (widower. Lost my mom to cancer after I was born), so I get why he was emotionally not stable.

I really just want to ask healthy normative people for relationship advice. But I get a feeling all the normal people won't give me a bit of actual advice, because it's boring, and all the crazies will have loads.

Aywelet

That’s sexist.

Men and women couldn't be friends.

I was raised in a weird religion in which almost any amount of communication with the opposite sex was seen as dating. Regularly texting a girl? That may as well be dating. It's a belief that I've had to unlearn after moving out so that I could have normal friendships with people.

Kicooi

​Sometimes it’s just about control. The power dynamics between parent and child can cause for some problematic language, which they pass down to their kids.

Respect is shown to those who show respect.

bart simpson respect GIFGiphy

"Respect your elders" but in the sense that you should just keep quiet when you disagree with somebody older than you - turns out many people are awful regardless of their age.

Don't get me wrong, my default is to respect any new person I meet, but when a person has repeatedly shown me that they don't are about my feelings or even basic logic, I won't hold back from speaking my mind calmly, even if they see this as disrespectful.

TheevilamoebaOG

Privacy is a right.

My mum made me believe that privacy was a privilege. Wasn't until I started studying childcare and learning in depth about the rights of the child that I learned it is a right and that my mum is full of bullsh*t.

Edit : UN convention on the Rights of the child (UNCRC) article 16

Alexander_the_awsome

Privacy is a right, but parents have the right/duty to limit their minor children's privacy to the extent necessary for their health and well being.

Should parents ask their kids if they practice proper hygiene, maybe even smell the hair to make sure they are using shampoo? Possibly, depending on the child. Should parents stand in the bathroom, making sure their older kids scrub their armpits just right? Definitely not.

Should parents ask about their children's friends and days at school? Yes. Should the parents give them the third degree to get more details? Not unless there is some kind of emergency.

Chillin1066

Sounds like gaslighting to me.

That as long as we "have always been given everything we need we are loved". The emotional abuse has ruined me.

CEmofficially

This hit hard, my dad isn't a fantastic person to me and says that just because he goes to work and puts food on the table means that he respects me. He really doesn't. He's called me an embarrassment many times and emotionally abused me as well. I'm sorry to hear about your emotional abuse, just know that there's other people out there who understand and are there for you.

Lynx12321

​Finally, let’s talk about work. The standards for jobs were a lot different when our parents were kids, and sometimes they just don’t realize that things are waaaaaaay different now.

Most bosses are pretty open to conversation.

the office boss GIFGiphy

"Your job is to do whatever your boss tells you to do."

This led to a bunch of stupid situations of both me getting walked all over by employers and me quitting jobs over things that could have been fixed with a conversation.

Smyley12345

It doesn’t HAVE to be, but it’s nice when it is.

That work should be something you love

It just has to be tolerable. If you make work your life, you will feel hit hard by the rough stages of work, which any job has. And you'll feel bad for taking a sick day, or miss it when you should be enjoying time off.

LunarLeopard67

For most people its easier to be happy at the end of the work day if you feel like you are good at your job and if the work feels like it is at least somewhat useful to society in the broadest possible sense (ie working for a scammy telemarketing firm is depressing for people capable of empathy). That's not quite the same as saying you should love your job. Not everyone has to have a vocation. But you should be able to take pride in the work you did.

Neobeguine

Good point.

I was the first person in my family to have a job in a conventional office. They thought I was a monster to accept a relocation bonus, paid vacation, and trying to work a reasonable schedule. They wanted me to be one of those people who is always willing to put in extra hours, or just sit at my desk for appearances.

The problem with this is that everyone in the office hates people like that, and the management isn't going to hook you up in the end anyways.

Ooo-ooo-oooyea

​Sometimes it’s just plain depressing what our parents teach us, and we have to take time to unlearn them.

Relatable.

angry homer simpson GIFGiphy

They inadvertently taught me that adults were angry and bitter people, which has kind of destroyed my ability to interact with others, since I was afraid that anything could set someone off. I still have a hard time believing that people are a little more forgiving than I give them credit for.

RebellionD7201

That’s terrifying and so wrong.

  1. Transgender people are mentally insane. Some of my best friends are trans, and they aren't mentally insane. I'm trans, and despite my mental health, I'm not insane.
  2. All your actions are watched by god or a higher being, and he will let everyone know if you did anything wrong like wanting to play to male toys and wearing boy clothes. This just led to me developing an anxiety disorder, and for a good amount of years in elementary, I had fear that everyone knew every detail of what I was doing. Only for me to ask, and they would get confused.

Time to unlearn that.

It’s okay to do almost anything as long as you don't get caught.

I knew it wasn't a good thing as a little kid too, but my mom being basically the only person keeping me in check and scaring me back then. She saying this surely gave me a bit more a-hole freedom that may or may not be related to me now (20yo male) having poor conscience and only thing keeping me in check being police not morales. Exception is s*xual assault, my morales won't allow that. That’s something she also taught me being a rape victim herself.

ChinChins3rdHenchman

What a weird lesson.

sick ferris buellers day off GIFGiphy

Never wear makeup or take care of your appearance before going to the doctor, or else they will think you are faking and not treat you.

I had strep throat for the umpteenth time as a teen and had slumming around the house miserable for days before the agreed to take me to the doctor. When my mom saw that I had brushed my hair and put on make up, she freaked out on me. Said I didn't even look sick anymore and she almost didn't take me. It stuck with me for a long time.

Now I understand that they do an actual physical exam, take vital signs, run tests, etc...

So_very_blessed

Not helpful.

  1. Paying off a credit card is as simple as making your monthly payment every month.
  2. You'll get a good job after college as long as you graduate.
  3. It's easy to just keep a minimum of $100 in your bank account as a safety net.
  4. The only way to enforce discipline in your kids is through fear.

Most of the time when parents give you sh*tty advice, they're really just trying to protect you from making the same mistakes they did. Trouble is, that advice can end up really messing up your development, and make things harder for you in the long run.

Just remember that your parents are their own people, capable of making their own decisions. And just because they made a certain decision in life, doesn't mean that it will be the same for you. Keep on growing

People Break Down How They Realized Their True Sexual Orientation

Reddit user TheGreek1 asked: 'What made you realize your true sexual orientation?'

Group hug with people holding rainbow flags
Janosch Lino/Unsplash

Everyone has a different journey on their road to self-discovery.

Especially when it comes to their sexual identity, many young adults struggle with not fitting in and wondering where they belong in social situations.

It's common for many of these individuals to be ashamed and suppress their identity for fear of being judged or ridiculed, while others have a support system at home or among close friends.

Curious to hear how people arrived at their moments of self-discovery, Redditor TheGreek1asked:

"What made you realize your true sexual orientation?"

Exposure to media helped these Redditors with their epiphany.

The Guy On TV

"So one day I saw a tv show, and there was a gay guy in some part of it, so I thought to myself, am I gay? And I came to the conclusion that I am in fact, straight."

– ShapeShiftingBruh

"Same! Or you may see a good looking guy but it doesn’t feel the same way as seeing a good looking woman. I hope that makes sense."

– gomeazy

Erotic Magazine

"I stumbled upon a stack of old playboys when I was 7 actually. I was very very intrigued. Before that I thought boys and girls both had penises lmaoo."

– 335i_lyfe

'Cuz Ya Gotta Have Faith

"I’m dating myself here but George Michael’s video for 'Faith.' At the beginning there is a hot girl in high heels leaning against a jukebox on one side and he’s on the other side. My eyes went to him. I thought, maybe I just want some jeans like that. Naw. I wanted what was IN the jeans."

– shakycam3

Some experimented to determine their sexuality.

Trying Oral

"Honestly? I had some doubts at first. So I let a guy go down on me during a 3some with his girlfriend. He was a freshman psychology student and had just learned about Kinsey and was making a big long speech about how sexuality is a spectrum, and nobody is truly 100% straight, and you know what? It was kind of compelling. So there I am, getting what was probably the third blowjob of my life, and I just can't stay hard. This dude was motivated, and no matter what he did... I think I was every bit as surprised as he was."

– porn0please

Best Buddy Hook-Up

"Same here. I thought, 'let’s try men, see how it goes!' Found myself hooking up with a close male friend who is, by all means, a f'kin smoke show."

"It was a safe space. I felt comfortable. And I learned - at most I’m a Kinsey 1 maybe. Maybe a Kinsey 0.5."

"If I die without ever being with another man, all good."

– astoneworthskipping

Those who were acquainted with or related to these Redditors tried to convince them of their sexuality.

Recognizing Beauty, Not Acting On It

"My sister in law was trying to convince me I was 'bisexual with a preference for men.' She wouldn’t let it go, all because I can appreciate when a woman is beautiful. I told her that I can see when a woman is beautiful, but it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them."

Saint_Galahad

Little Closeted

"My best friend in high school was a lesbian, and was always trying to convince me that I was bi. I was like, 'lol no, I'm straight af.' Well, one night with my guy of many years, we were opening up about our kinks and- I don't know, I guess I just finally felt safe enough- but I realized I'd always kept a door closed inside of me where I knew I was also attracted to women."

"I've had way too many bad experiences in the past with female friends (who I think were actually crushes) to actually ever think about dating a woman, but I'm definitely also sexually attracted to them."

– Dizzy_Duck5436

Impressions made from a certain age can't be forgotten.

Kindergarten Crush

"When I went to kindergarten round-up when i was 5, I remember seeing two very pretty girls and thinking I would like to kiss them. To be honest, 35 years later those two women are still very pretty and I would still like very much like to kiss them."

– 2aboveaverage

The Handsy Child

"I remember falling in love with my first grade teacher. Ms. Florence. It has always been ladies for me. I read these modern discussions where people are debating sexuality, and it just doesn’t compute. My Grandpa told stories about me putting my hands down women’s shirts at age two/three."

– momentum_1999

My elementary teacher's assistant was a high school student named Randy.

He was the first guy I couldn't take my eyes off of.

He was a redhead, had freckles, and stunning green eyes that looked deep back into mine whenever I pretended I had a question for him but fumbled with my attempt at small talk.

I recognized him as a beautiful man but I didn't understand why I gravitated toward him as I was years from having any kind of sexual comprehension or awakening as a ten-year-old.

But I know for certain that was when I realized I was "different" when I pined for him and wanted to be near him every time I went to school.

I wonder what Randy is up to now?

Do you sometimes think about the people from your past you've had crushes on?

CW: Death and miscarriages.

It's always sad when a couple doesn't make it all the way.

Especially when a promise was made.

Isn't that what an engagement is?

A very expensive promise.

Diamonds ain't cheap.

Redditor mimi_nivi wanted to hear about the reasons why finally getting to "I DO" was impossible, so they asked:

"People who were engaged at one point but never got married, what happened?"

I've never been engaged.

And I thank God everyday.

My laundry list of exes is full of stains.

Not in Bed?

Season 5 What GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Came home for lunch one day to surprise her. Surprise was on me as she was in the middle of doing her co-worker on my couch. I loved that couch."

Siguldg

3 Months Before

"He wasn't participating in the wedding planning at all and I realized he didn't actually want to get married. There was a lot of pressure from his family and admittedly, me as well. I just wanted a family and to be married and hadn't really paid attention to his reluctance up until that point."

"It was 3 months before the wedding and I sat down and reviewed our relationship. We were incompatible at several crucial points, even though we loved each other a lot. So I called off the wedding and ended it and while we were both sad, we were also relieved."

"This was more than a decade ago and whenever we run into each other we catch up and there are no hard feelings at all. He's married and a father now and I couldn't be happier for him."

Midnight_Muse

Back in 2012

"She died due to seizures. 3 am: she was home alone. She woke up and had a seizure and unfortunately hit her head against a wall… 7 am: she was supposed to show up at her parent's house to drop off the dog before work. She didn’t. 9 a.m.: her parents went to check on her, the dog was fine, but she was unresponsive. 9:30 am she was declared deceased at the scene. 10 am: I was at work and I got a call from her father… I lost it right there. It was back in 2012 but still, I’m not over it yet."

Fragrant-Snake

Cruel

"We had like 6 miscarriages."

"At the end of the relationship, he said something to me like 'It’s just so hard… I look at your face and I feel like I SEE nothing but 6 dead babies.'"

"Can’t really come back from that one. I mean some people can. We couldn’t."

"It’s crazy in hindsight but everything just kind of worked out. I have two beautiful daughters and a stepdaughter I love and a great life!"

relentpersist

Whoops

"Turns out she liked vagina as much as I did."

wayneo88

Sometimes too many of the same interests are NOT a good thing.

Lesson learned.

Thank You

Preach Amy Poehler GIF by SistersGiphy

"He cheated before we got married and I found out. I thank the stars every f**king day I didn’t marry him."

fatfemmebish

Old Friends

"She started hanging out with an old group of high school friends and just changed. She became extremely nasty over wedding plans, telling me we had to have the exact same number of guests on both sides. If I had one more guest than she did, she made me remove someone from my side. I knew if I moved forward it would have ended in divorce, so I just ended it before it got to that."

Wastoponcene

True Colors

"The longer we lived together leading up to the wedding, the more he showed his true colors. One day while I was cooking dinner for us he started screaming at me, like an inch from my face, and called me a (see you next Tuesday.) Something about it snapped some sense into me. I walked out and never went back."

gamergirl007

Technicalities

"We’re still technically engaged, but we never wanted a wedding. We met way late in life (I’m 50, she’s in her mid-40s), no kids, and if we get legally married the gov’t f**ks with her disability assistance so she is my spouse, my partner, and my soul mate. But we don’t feel the need to get married. But I do have a living will just in case. We will be celebrating our 10-year anniversary early next year."

lovedontfalter

Holy Mary

like a virgin madonna GIFGiphy

"The Holy Spirit came to him in a dream and told him that he couldn’t marry me because I wasn’t a virgin."

hitlersd**k69420

Well, sometimes it's just not meant to work out.

And that sounds like a blessing.

woman taking photo of high-rise building

Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

As a child, my family traveled extensively throughout the United States. Both of my parents loved to travel.

I went to 48 of 50 states—just Alaska and Hawaii left—as well as parts of Mexico and Canada with my parents. As an adult, a job I had for 13 years required travel, sometimes for a month or more.

Through that job I made it to Germany and Japan.

Needless to say I've seen my share of tourist attractions and tourist traps. But I'm a sucker for kitsch.

So while I love going to Wall Drug every time I'm headed west on Interstate 90 in South Dakota, others might say to skip it.

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Man thinking hard
Photo by jose aljovin on Unsplash

We've all heard our fair share of conspiracy theories, and whether or not we truly believe them, we can agree that they're fun to think about.

But there are some that are more sinister than others, and some that are far too applicable to simply ignore.

Redditor Specific_Shop_3975 asked:

"What's a conspiracy with the most evidence to back it up?"

The Sinking of RMS Lusitania

"The British government deliberately put the RMS Lusitania in harm's way to get her sunk to bring the USA into WW1. The fact the records have been resealed for another 100 years adds credence to this conspiracy."

- Blackmore_Vale

"Dude, it's not even a conspiracy theory. The German consulate took out a two-page ad in the New York Times telling people to not board because they were going to sink it."

"Also at the time Britain didn't have an option but to sell the ship because it was carrying so many munitions that they desperately needed. This isn't a conspiracy theory; it's just plain fact."

"Both governments knew the risks and they needed it to galvanize support."

- hagantic42

Not So Sweet Candy Stores

"In the UK, there was a recent boom in American sweet shops that sold grossly overpriced import candy. They were suddenly everywhere after the pandemic, they didn’t sell much, but they were everywhere."

"Someone on TikTok theorized that they were all money laundering fronts, so people started filming in the shops laughing at the prices, and staff always seemed to get really angry about it."

"Then it was announced last year that there was an HMRC (UK’s tax wing of government) investigation started because the theory held water, and suddenly they all shut down."

"The one in Leeds Centre near Trinity currently has a notice of abandonment in the window and you can see the shelves are still stocked: the owners just ran off and left it."

"Sounds like another successful case for the TikTok detectives."

- fearthe0cean

What's Behind the Price of a Piece of Art

"Modern art is just money laundering."

"Nobody pays 2.2 million for a blank canvas."

- Poultry_Master123

"The brilliance of modern art money laundering can't be understated."

"Alfred wants to pay Brad $100k for a bribe."

"Brad wants this money to be 'clean' to avoid authorities looking into him."

"Brad 'sells' a worthless modern art piece for $100k."

"Alfred has now successfully transferred the bribe to Alfred. However, Brad is now in possession of a painting that the 'market' says is worth $100k. Down the line, Alfred might be able to sell this now 'valuable' piece of art to a third party for $50k, $100k, or potentially at a profit!"

"It can get even more complex when the artist is basically a part of the money laundering ring. This makes it so that Brad can fictionally increase the cost of buying the art from the artist in the first place in order to make the money laundering less obvious."

- Zigxy

Why So Many Options?

"There is something fishy going on at Mattress Firm. How can they stay in business with a store in practically every plaza when the average person buys a new mattress every decade or so?"

- PWcrash

Quite the Distraction

"Might not be a 'conspiracy theory' per se. But I believe that the government works hard to cover up their own incompetence."

"Part of that is manufacturing insane conspiracy theories as a way to make anyone who asks questions look crazy. Or at least to serve as a distraction."

- ButtFarquad66

A Conspiracy Is a Conspiracy

"The meta-conspiracy to convince dumb people that the word 'conspiracy' means 'a crazy person’s imagination.'"

"Conspiracies happen every day. There’s a global conspiracy of adults to convince kids Santa is real. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s a conspiracy."

"Somewhere along the line, the word got hijacked and it immediately discredits whoever says it. It’s practically a trap to use the word, so you have to dance around it if you want to describe people planning things in secret."

- Bob_the_peasant

Widely Discredited

"The government deliberately leaked false information to UFO investigators to discredit them because they were getting too close to the truth."

"(The truth being that Area 51 was a testing grounds for spy planes and stealth aircraft and was attracting too much attention for a secret weapons facility.)"

- 4thofeleven

"I think the government does this with conspiracy theories across the board. Promoting outlandish tinfoil hat-type theories helps discredit the ones that are actually real."

- QUINNFLORE

Another Money Laundering Front

"Benetton is a front for Italian mob money laundering."

"Probably wasn't at first back in the 80s but now... decent-sized stores in expensive real estate all over Europe, never anyone in the stores, never seen anyone wearing the clothes, don't know anyone that's bought anything from them, ever, and neither do those people."

- Bannedin_3_2_1

"I shop there all the time, in both Italy and Switzerland. It’s the highest quality for the most reasonable price that I can regularly find in Europe. I’m never the only one in there or checking out, either."

- AdultDisneyWoman

"Sounds like something a money launderer would say."

- kjm16216

Residential Monopoly

"Blackrock and Vanguard are buying up all the residential property they can in order to get the majority of Americans renting from them. Estimates say by 2030 they will own 60% of residential property."

- smartsapants

"I so wish we could all stop fighting about dumb sh*t for just a few weeks so both sides of the country could pass a law that bans any corporation or non-US citizen from owning residential property(with some provisions to account for things like bank loans obviously)."

"This would have such a massive effect on quality of life going into the future. Of course, it won’t happen."

- ternic69

People of Influence Parties

"The Bilderberg group. Every year in summer, they meet, and people keep track of who is there. Guest lists every year. Top politicians, royalty, corporate owners. Extreme security. No protocols."

"There is confirmation from a variety of these people that they were there."

"So, what do they talk about? Are they coordinated somehow after each meeting? How much influence do they have?"

"Well, given the extreme security, it's difficult to say. I am sure it's nothing, though. Why would those groups of people want to influence the world to suit their agendas, right?"

"Also note, anyone discussing this gets called a tin foil hat, or paranoid, or a conspiracy theorist who probably also believes in antivaxx reptilian....."

- Common-Wish-2227

Secret Climate Change

"The petroleum companies knew burning fossil fuels would lead to global climate change but hid the evidence of their own funded studies and did nothing to curb consumption, instead funded groups opposed to renewable, non-greenhouse gas generating energy to maximize shareholder value."

- 85_Draken

The Travels of Elvis Presley

"Elvis didn’t die in 1977. He was working with the government (DEA OR CIA? I can’t remember?). When he was compromised they had to fake his death."

"He actually moved to Argentina and lived the rest of his life down there."

"There were a lot of sightings. My favorite is when one of his house workers reported someone that looked just like him lying out by the pool at his own house the day after he died."

"It’s a fun theory that is pretty convincing the more you look into it."

- Affectionate-Win-788

Conspiracies All the Way Down

"People believe all the governments in the world have collaborated on keeping the shape of the Earth and our inability to visit the Moon a secret..."

- draculamilktoast

"But what about the turtle we are sitting on?"

- KAG25

"More importantly, what about the turtle THAT turtle is sitting on?"

- Hym3n

Intentionally Divisive

"That our governments are turning us all against each other to distract us from the blatant wealth manipulation, corrupt practices, nepotism, cronyism, among hundreds of other big issue things. Their plans working a treat and the people as a whole can't see what's happening and start working together against it."

"We are losing our privacy, our rights, and our sense of connection with one another. We drift away while they get more and more powerful. People hand away their rights like they're going to get them back and never question it when it's not."

"Our planet had to deal with another of the world power's attempts at control and that's the pandemic or should I say the reaction to it. I was always a believer it happened naturally but as time goes on it becomes more apparent it wasn't."

"We are bodies hanging from the roof being bled dry slowly but if this keeps up we aren't just f**ked like a world war or nuclear war, if we don't do anything we will lose whatever control we have and we will never get it back."

- Magic_Kushroom

From interesting and wowing to deeply troubling, there's truly no shortage of conspiracies and conspiracy theories out there for people to puzzle over and research.

The most troubling thing about them, honestly, has to be the stigma surrounding a person's interest in them. As soon as someone expresses interest in one of these theories, others are quick to discredit them.