Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's moral or right. We know that. But do we ever stop to consider how it applies to the way we treat kids?
One Reddit user asked:
and yeah ... we've got a lot to think about.
Child beauty pageants.
Aside from inviting the attention of dangerous people, every "Miss [school name]" at the middle school where I teach has been a notorious bully.
They're being taught from an early age to judge and that certain characteristics make some "elite," so it's not surprising.
Apart from inviting dangerous attention, it sets a precedent at a very early age that beauty is an important standard, and that looking a certain way accepted by society is beautiful, and looking otherwise is various degrees of ugliness.
It reinforces the belief in children that some people are ugly, and some are beautiful.
A competition judging and awarding people for something they could not control just seems f**king sh!tty to me.
Use them as leverage against the other parent.
Sadly it's no just rough on the parents. I was a kid whose mom told me frequently that my dad was 50 shades of a**hole after their divorce. I was 5, I didn't know what to do but believe it.
Needless to say SHE was the a**hole and my dad and I have a great relationship now. But I went through many years of confusion and feeling scared and lost many years of a great relationship with my dad. It's just not fair to do this to children who don't understand the bigger picture.
They're Coping Better Than Me
Using them as therapists
This happens a lot with teenagers I've worked with. Something traumatic happens in the family, teens will usually process the traumatic event talking with their peers or isolated in their room (to kinda sort out all the unfamiliar emotions), or simply won't know what to do and distract themselves with whatever hobbies they have. Parents take that as "they're not breaking down and crying all the time, so they probably know how to cope with this better than me" and unload all of their emotions on the kid.
Worked with the nicest girl (I'm a mental health provider) who was tasked with all the responsibilities of arranging her grandpa's funeral because mom thought everyone else in the family were way more upset about the death than the girl. In reality, the poor girl was broken up about it, but didn't wanna show that in front of mom because she was already so sad.
Sports Is For FunLittle League Game GIF by TLC Giphy
I coach 12 year olds and they are so freakin cute. Like they are super excited to learn, a little clumsy cause they're all hitting growth spurts, and super awkward but it's so adorable. I was coaching them today and started thinking about how my coach and my parents used to scream at me after/during practices and games when I'd make a mistake at this age. It caused me to hate soccer and basketball and really impacted my self-esteem.
Now that I'm coaching, I couldn't even fathom yelling at these kids, they try so hard and with every mistake they get better it's amazing to watch! I'll never understand being a grown ass adult and yelling at a literal child for participating in a leisure activity.
That's exactly why I stopped doing sports. I was doing it to have fun, but they're making it super competitive and acting like I should be playing at pro level before 10. Fuck that. I can't even think about sports without having the feeling of being screamed at for making a minor mistake come rushing back.
Spoil The Child
Spoiling them rotten.
I'm not talking about once in a while type thing. I mean like, absolutely creating a monster.
Even when you're not creating a monster/are working to instill some basic level of decency, this is such a quick way to create unrealistic expectations for life.
I grew up in a reasonably affluent area. I went to fairly affluent schools. We had a lot of parents who meant well, but a new Yukon at 16 and annual vacations to Paris didn't really prepare these kids for the fact that eventually, Mom and Dad wouldn't be paying for everything, and a $50k a year salary won't support the lifestyle they took for granted at 16.
Like, they're nice people, and most of their parents instilled decent values, but even with Mom and Dad subsidizing their adult lives (no student loans, help with a down payment, etc.), it's obvious that adulthood is a pretty huge step down from what they were used to, and ultimately, I can't help but think everybody would have fared a bit better if Mom and Dad wouldn't have provided quite so many extras growing up.
Wearing thrift store clothes and driving a used minivan at 16 never killed anybody...
My own husband is an example of this.
He's a lovely, beautiful person. We both have decent jobs (er, we both had decent jobs until I was laid off last month). His parents aren't crazy rich, but they always made good money, and they always sacrificed a lot of their own wants so that they could give him all of the advantages in life.
They bought him the Lexus he wanted when he turned 16. They made sure that he had plenty of money for the spring break trips to Cancun. They paid for college. They paid for fraternity dues. They paid to replace the Lexus when he crashed it, and for a new Tahoe once that vehicle had too many miles on it, and a new Expedition once the Tahoe wracked up 100k miles.
They paid the down payment on our house. They pay his half of the mortgage anytime any "unexpected emergencies" come pop up. He's nearing 40, and he's still on their cell phone plan. They still pay his car insurance. They've quit buying him new cars, but he still gets their hand-me-down vehicles (so like, right now, he's driving his mom's 2012 Camry).
Annnnnnd, he's just now starting to appreciate the advantages he's been given in life, rather than mourning the fact that this is all a step down from what he grew up with.
Because even though most adults would be stoked to have all of those things provided for them, a 2012 Camry and a three-bedroom in a modest neighborhood isn't the kind of life his childhood prepared him for. It never dawned on him as he was driving up to the high school parking lot in his shiny new Lexus that, unless he planned on becoming a neurosurgeon, his adult standard of living probably wouldn't include new cars and trips to Cancun every year. Or, that if it did, he'd be working 60+ hours a week and taking on loads of debt to make it happen.
Why Can't You Be Like ...
I went to a small private christian school. At the time (mid-90's), there would be around 10-15 kids per grade. My sister was a grade ahead of me, so every teacher always knew I was her brother. The amount of "[sister] would never do that" or "[sister] was a much better student", et al. I got was absurd.
Even other students (not in my class or my sister's class) knew me as [sister]'s brother. Though that was due to her being good at sports and instantly popular (while I was good at playing the piano and instantly Liberace). Fun times.
Use them as props on their social media posts
My aunt does this. She's super narcissistic. When my cousin turned 18 he was forced to move out because the guy my aunt was dating didn't want him there. So he slept in his van until he joined the navy. Now that he is in the navy she is all about being a "navy mom"
Men Can't Have Cats?funny cat GIF Giphy
Force them to grow up at a young age/being sexist. My dad threw out all my toys when I turned 12 and screamed "it's time to grow up!" He also wouldn't let me play with dolls because they were "girls toys".
He also said men can't have cats, and other bs.
As a man who has a pet cat, please tell me where your dad is so that I can tell him to flip off.
My brother in law was walking their Lhasa Apso who is an adorable cheeky boisterous little guy. A man looks down and says 'That's a gay dog' probably meaning a Lhasa is somehow not manly or what the hell is a man ya know a MAN doing with a Lhasa Apso.
My brother in law replied 'The dog's free to date who he wants.' And walked on. Dogs don't care if they're a poodle, chihuahua, Lhasa, Great Dane or bulldog. They're just dogs. People can be weird the cat comment also doesn't make sense.
Your Babies Boundaries Matter
Forcing them to hug people when arriving or leaving someone's house or event.
Or make them kiss extended family or the parent's friends goodnight before going to bed. I'm at an age now where people send their kids over to me all the time, and I very excitedly tell them as they get close that the good news is they get to choose a hug or finger guns. I'll even call out "me first" when a parent sends them on their rounds, because I guarantee if that kid chooses finger guns, every other adult lets them do it too. It's silly and fun and a big sigh of relief all round.
Too Young To Feel?
"You're too young you don't know what depression feels like."
"You're over reacting"
"When I was your age we had to suck it up" etc etc.
Just bad parenting and dismissing a child feelings because they are "too young, too immature."
When I was a kid I was constantly told I wouldn't be good at whatever I said I wanted to be for some reason or another. Eventually by around 11 I aspired to be a person on welfare. Luckily I didn't follow through with that plan
When I was in middle school, I started to get into writing. I figured out it was my dream to become an author and one day it came up in a convo with my family. My dad outrightly said, "You could never be an author. You don't have the talent for it." It completely broke my heart.
All those years later, I still haven't told him. But I've decided that I'll just show him the book I've written and see what he says then.
That's Not Discipline And You're Not Fine
Hitting as discipline is legitimately and consistently shown by research to detrimental for children psychologically, and yet people still insist on doing it.
Then they say it happened to them and they're fine but they're wrong
Like, no mum, it's not fine. You did not deserve to be hit for being bad, you were a child who didn't know any better. She ended up in an abusive relationship which I believe wouldn't have happened if her parents hadn't hit her because they taught her people who love you will hurt you.
I ended up a bit better but I tended to lie a lot because telling the truth meant I would get hurt. My brother and I both have anger issues too. (Currently working on both lol)
My mum is a good parent/ person but when she was born in the mid-sixties hitting your kids as discipline was the norm that she passed on. Even now she still struggles with things like standing up for herself.
If my mum is still struggling with issues in her mid-fifties due to her parents smacking her as a child so will others. Please don't hit your kids
it happened to them and they're fine
Yeah, no, you're not. You're a person who thinks it's fine for whole adults to assault small children.
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Raise your hands--who had an emo phase in the 2000s? I know I did, as did a lot of people around me. All of us heard “It's just a phase" from our parents at some point, but when you're a kid, life as we know it seems so permanent.
Of course, most of the time, it was “just a phase". And looking back, those phases are regrettable, to say the least. Here are some prime examples of that.
What was your biggest/most regrettable "It's not a phase, mom. It's my life." that, in fact, turned out to be just a phase and not your life?
The enthusiasm of a young person can lead to some unexpected changes that parents are just not ready for.
I was VERY into The Transformers when I was a wee lad in the 1980s. One day, I decided to change my name to the name of my favorite Autobot. My name was lame, and I wanted an awesome Transformer name. And I was VERY insistent that my parents only call me by my new name. Calling me by my 'old' name would cause a big fat tantrum on my part.
So for the better part of a week, my poor parents had to call me Wheeljack.
Very 2008.Ariana Grande Shrug GIFGiphy
My cat-ear phase. I wore cat ears every single day. Everywhere. I had like 20 pairs of them. Now everyone thinks I'm a furry.
I find that very cute and wouldn't have thought you'd be furry. Even if you'd had cat mittens. I think my suspicions would have started if you moved a bit like a cat, displayed catlike grooming habits or got a cat mask.
Not gonna lie, that car sounds cool.
I went to a car show once as a teen, and the only newer car there was some chick's PT cruiser. It was hot glittery pink, and at the time I was obsessed. I insisted that one day I would have a hot pink car, with pink seats, pink dash, pink carpets, etc. I was pretty heavily goth at the time, so my parents just rolled their eyes.
These phases can often lead to some very strange fashion choices.
When I was a teenager (early 00s), I was waiting for my mother to pick me up and was wearing one of those sh!tty sports wristwatches. It was itching me so I took it off for a second, but then she arrived and because I was struggling to get it back on my wrist, I looped it around the equally sh!tty chain I had around my neck in a rush to get out the door.
My mom asked me about it in the car, and I told her this was my new style and I planned to wear it like that every day. She rolled her eyes.
I wore that watch on a chain around my neck every single day for 3 years or so. There are even professional family photos where I'm wearing it because I refused to take it off.
One day, the chain broke and I lost the watch. I was in high school at that point anyway and it was a major lady repellent, so... phase over.
Not everyone can be Eminem.slim shady eminem GIFGiphy
Baggy pants, being a rapper someday and being a professional skater.
When I was about 14 and Eminem was starting to blow up I bought myself a keyboard with a synthesizer. It cost like $200 which was all the money I had saved up. It finally came (this was way before amazon prime and such) and I tried rapping.
My sister told me "you're effing horrible" and I gave up right then and there.
This should be a sin.
I used to button the top buttons of polo shirts.
I must say, this is probably the worst one I've read.
Looking back at our regrettable choices, all we can do is cringe.
An optimistic look at bad tattoos.check me out season 3 GIF by PortlandiaGiphy
Being a tattooer. Regrettable because of those poor people who have my awful doodles on their bodies.
Take heart! My favorite tattoo is the one I drunkenly got my buddy to do in his living room one year during March Madness! It's dumb and frankly mediocre? But such a good story and has such good associations I smile every time I see it.
My friend and I decided we were going to open a bar in Jamaica with exotic snakes in glass cages in the walls at each booth. We convinced ourselves it would be amazing for at least two years in college. It was going to be called Fredro's.
My entire family made fun of me for it. Once we got out of college, we realized it was not feasible and joined the office grind. We're also two white guys with no ties to Jamaica.
Talk about cringey.
I wore a top hat with an anime pin on it for around a year. Met one of my current best friends while wearing it, idk how he could bear to speak to me after that.
My weirdest phase was probably when I insisted on wearing knee-high rainbow socks to school every day. But honestly, I don't regret it. I rocked those socks, and I wish I still have a pair.
To all the people out there cringing over their past selves, remember that you were just a kid, and to be easy on yourselves. After all, we've all been there
It should not take much for a consumer to be satisfied with the products they purchase.
Yet, too often, manufacturers who oversell their products fail to deliver what is promised and are inevitably left with angry customers who want their money back.
Whether the merchandise was defective or ridiculously overpriced, strangers online shared some of their worst purchases when Redditor BooksMcGee asked:
"What is the worst product you ever paid money for?"
Short Life Span
"This NERF gun that's supposed to shoot tennis balls for your dog. I bought it cause I thought you could load 3 at a time and shoot them far, but it's just one and it's super loud and the gun broke after like 4 shots (reading reviews later, this was a common issue)."
"There were these toys called squiggles when I was a kid and the commercials made it seem like the toy was alive. It looked like you would get this crazy little fuzzy worms as pets that would follow you around an so sick tricks and listen to your every command. It was really just a piece of fluffy string tied to another piece of string with googly eyes on it. People may say that it was supposed to be a magic trick but they should also explain that to a 5 year old who really wanted a pet."
"Not their fault, but I paid $70 for a Yugioh card hours before it was limited to one copy. Probably dropped to $20 by the end of the day."
These purchases were bad for your bum.
"A bicycle that literally fell apart before I made it out of the parking lot."
Not Worth Sitting On
"Joybird brand couch. Was so terrible, we returned it. Still hard to believe, we returned a freaking couch."
Going Nowhere Fast
"A 2000 VW Beetle (used)."
"Biggest piece of sh*t that literally had to have just about everything replaced before 100k miles and would still break down every time you left the driveway to the point where the tow-truck driver knew us on a first-name basis."
"An Oldsmobile Achieva from one of those buy here pay here places. I should have known better, but I was young and thought I was getting a good deal. I had the thing for about 5 months, I drove it for maybe 3 weeks. The rest of the time it was either in the shop, or in my driveway waiting until pay day so I could afford to fix whatever broke on it this week. Eventually told the dealer just take it, I'm not paying for it any more. He said nope, and I will make sure your credit is ruined. I said well you sold me a lemon, do you really want to go this route? He came and took it. Never reported anything to credit. I heard he got sued by several other people who sold sh**ty cars too and eventually went out of business."
"Always amazes me when I see them driving around still, I can only assume there's enthusiasts who just love repairing horribly designed cars."
These Redditors were not convinced what they ingested was edible.
"A box of plain Cheerios. Thought they were honey nut, poured a bowl, was very disappointed."
"If I wanted to taste cardboard, I'd just eat the box."
"A burnt frozen pizza at the air and space museum cafe in DC. I Don't wish that experience on anyone. There are some amazing restaurants in DC, don't settle."
The following electronics just gave off a bad charge.
"Asus Transformer Pad TF700"
"This was one of those early 'high end' Android tablets that was grossly underpowered, and it showed. Thing was slow as sh!t in no time flat. Rookie mistake investing into shiny new tech while they were still working all the bugs out. Think I paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $350-400 for it..."
"macbook pro 2018 13" touchbar. 2 years old and dead (battery). they're asking $300-$400 to change the battery. malfunctioning keyboard with double presses and missing presses. that's a lot of money for bad design."
"Past winter my old room heater broke down and I had to buy a new one. Went to a store nearby and somehow got convinced to buy a very costly heating device.. It's also my fault, since there were some sligthly cheaper options around, but nope. I wanted the expensive one thinking it will make my small room a volcano with little to no effort/cost (that's also what the seller told me). Long story short the device wasn't doing ANYTHING. No significant temperature changes, too much space, a weird noise, and was doubling my previous device in utility cost. I still gloom over those 80 euros.."
Some of my disappointing purchases was clothing, but only because I purchased them online. Unless they are a brand I'm familiar with, I'm usually fine with buying new jeans off of their websites.
But when it comes to graphic tees only available on specialty shops, an M-size shirt is not necessarily the same size as those found in other reputable stores.
I bought a medium sized T-shirt from a boutique store online because I loved the look of the design. But when it arrived, the supposed medium fit me like an XL.
At least I gained a fierce cleaning rag from this impulsive purchase.
We all know the job interview butterflies.
We sit outside the office or wait for the phone call and our foot taps at rapid speed. We run through some rehearsed answers, but worry that they'll ask a slew of things we never even considered. We try not to sweat too much.
Often, it turns out alright. We may not get the job, but we're respectable, give solid answers, and learn a lot about the place we're trying to get hired.
Other times, however, all of our far-fetched worries seem to come to life.
Curious to hear just how bad an interview can go, Redditor UIGrimsen asked:
"What was your worst job interview?"
Plenty of people had some truly bizarre stories to share. Part of these train wrecks were bad luck, and part were the insane antics of the people giving the interview.
But for us, they're simply hilarious.
"I applied for a job in a Planetarium, the interview was conducted in a big dome."
"Problem was, another part of the Planetarium staff was doing fire alarm tests during the interview. The dome amplified the sound so much, it was deafening. The interview staff acted like nothing was going on. We had to shout so we could hear each other."
"My mom raises chickens … and during COVID one of them got sick (not COVID). She had it inside to feed water hourly to try to nurse it back to life. My mom has to run an errand so I'm in charge of this chicken for the afternoon."
"I was on a phone screening with a candidate for a position in my office and this chicken starts having a seizure and dies on the middle of this phone call. I look over and it's laying almost like it was crucified."
"The candidate heard the commotion and asked if everything was ok … Which I relied 'yeah, the chicken just died.' "
"She withdrew her application the next morning."
"1.) I walked in as the HR lady farted"
"2.) it was a small office with no windows"
"3.) I asked her questions about their employee retention rate that she couldn't answer"
"4.) the fart stayed the duration of the interview"
"5.) I hope the fart got the job, because I didn't want it"
A Very Instructive Moment
"Applied to work at a vet clinic. Veterinarian did the interview while spaying a cat, apparently one of the cleanest and quickest surgeries they do. I fainted."
"Was not offered the job (after I woke up)."
Others shared moments when their excitement was deflated instantly. They encountered such closed-minded interviewers that there was almost no need for discussion.
That Bus Perk
"As an interviewee It was when I applied to a job as a Junior programmer and in 5 minutes the guys goes 'look, I'll be honest, there is no job, you can get an internship, no pay, we offer the bus pass' "
Plains, Trains, and Automobiles Later...
"I took vacation days to interview, bought my own plane ticket, and paid for my own hotel. First thing the interviewer said was, 'I have no intention of hiring you. This is just a courtesy because I knew your brother.' I had 8 more hours left in my interview day. It was painful."
"They ended up offering me the position many weeks down the road because they couldn't fill the position. I politely declined and got a very passive aggressively worded survey to fill out explaining why I passed."
There's a Right Answer??
"Wanted to work at H&M, got interviewed by the worst person ever."
"One question was and I am legit not lying, 'What is your favorite color and why?' "
"I answered 'baby blue because it's calming and not too harsh to the eyes.' My interviewer then said Oooh, sorry! Red is what we were looking for. And then proceeded to show me the exit."
Last, some shared the times they arrived for the interview excited and enthusiastic, but quickly learned how out of their league the position was.
These interviews looked more like brutal interrogations from the FBI than job interviews.
All the Principals
"Fresh out of college, I was looking for my first teaching job. I applied at a small district for an elementary school position."
"I walked in, expecting the principal and a few teachers. Instead I had the superintendent of the district, some high-level admin, and every single elementary school principal in the district. Probably 15 people in all. They peppered me with questions for 45 minutes."
"I had zero experience, just my student teaching. I did not get the job."
Shove Your Masters
"Finished up a masters degree in physics. Got a phone interview and was was told it would be an introductory chat. Was confronted with a technical interview panel (over the phone) of 6 PhDs, 4 of which had graduated from the research group I had just left. We walked through my research project in about 10 minutes."
"Then the pain began... felt like I'd only learned kindergarten physics."
An Extremely Intimidating Position
"Got an interview for a job as a floor manager at a gigantic steel foundry. I have some background in metallurgy so I thought it'd fit. It paid $90k and I was qualified resume-wise. I got there, turned out it was a group interview with three other applicants, to hear the pitch."
"If something messes up, the company loses $100,000 (some shockingly high amount, I don't remember if it was exactly 100k) per hour and it's your sole responsibility to fix it. They said you'd have to be on call 24/7 to handle anything that comes up."
"I got to the solo part out of curiosity and the interviewer they put me with said something to the effect of 'I know this job sounds bad, but actually it's even worse.' I was desperate for a job because I didn't land one straight out of college, but I was glad not to hear back from them after the interview..."
Here's hoping you don't have a job interview scheduled and this just amplified your anxiety 1000%. The nice thing to remember is that these horror stories are few and far between.
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Believe it or not, Canadians don't live in igloos or freeze to death all year round. If you go to Germany, it's highly unlikely that every German you meet will be cold and uninviting. Hop over to the United Kingdom and you're not going to run into tons of people with terrible teeth and bad hygeine.
These are called stereotypes, my friends, and it's best you leave them at the door. People were more than willing to strike down some stereotypes about the countries they know and love after Redditor HelloThere577 asked the online community,
"What are some false stereotypes about your country?"
"When most folks envision Scotland, they think of kilts, whisky, bagpipes, and red hair.
All of those things exist (and are common) here.
People might also imagine verdant hillsides, rocky bluffs, and skies that randomly switch between clear and cloudy.
Once again, that's completely accurate.
However, one stereotype which has absolutely no foundation, in reality, is the assumption that Scotsmen are constantly hunting haggis. In fact, haggis-hunting only takes place in February (which is the season for deosil haggis) and May (which is the season for widdershins haggis). For the rest of the year, the haggis is more or less left alone."
"I am originally from Portugal and moved to the United States. Around 80% of the people that I have met thought Portugal was either in South America, owned by Brazil, or a part of Spain. When I first came here it made me really sad."
"If the wildlife hurts or kills you in Australia, it's generally because you are f***** stupid. You are 10000 times more likely to be injured or killed in a car accident in Australia than by anything in nature."
This is likely very true, but knowing me, I'd probably be easy pickings for one of those huntsman spiders.
"That we end every sentence with "eh" and drink maple syrup by the gallon and have moose and igloos in our backyards."
You mean... you don't?
Just kidding. Canada is lovely––visit sometime. It's a lovely place.
The United States
"That we always have a shotgun at the ready. A shotgun is a home gun where a pistol is your everyday gun. Your revolver is your dress gun, for special occasions. Then of course your assault rifle is for when you're kicking back and cracking open a cold one with the boys."
"Anything related to The Sound of Music."
Probably gets annoying afer a short while. Great movie, though. Still dreaming about a trip to Salzburg.
"A lot of Americans seem to think we're inbred because we're an island. This is dumb, because it's a very big island (10th biggest in the world), and it's not isolated, we've been invaded, invading, and trading with the mainland for thousands of years."
"That we are car thieves. Crime was widespread in Poland in the 90s but today crime (including theft) rate in Poland is low."
"We do gesticulate a lot, but we definitely don't yell like crazy."
It seems Italian Americans are the ones who could learn a thing or two about being more reserved.
"Iceland. We're not some utopian Disneyland filled with quirky superstitious people that all believe in elves."
Remember: The world is an enormous place filled with people from all walks of life, and they don't take too kindly too stereotypes. Expand your horizons by having conversations with as many people as possible. You'd be surprised how quickly your preconceived notions will vanish.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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