We've all had a great "I was so drunk I (blank)" story. Sometimes you perform a dangerous stunt. Sometimes your pants come off. It's all in good fun.
Of course, sometimes you're Daniel Dale, correspondent for the Toronto Star, and you lose your pants while completely sober.
That's not a euphemism; he literally lost his jeans and had no idea where they were.
No, I'm not kidding.
Me in AirBNB, 7:55 AM: Where are my jeans? I don’t understand where they could be Me driving to breakfast, 8:02 AM… https://t.co/vdLa97GMAG— Daniel Dale (@Daniel Dale)1557592003.0
Dale was visiting Arizona when he made the discovery that a pair of his jeans were missing. Later that morning, as he drove down the road to breakfast, he notices some jeans in the road.
It takes him three minutes to put two and two together.
Unfortunately, this is where the trail ends. There are no other clues as to what happened.
We can't even blame him being in an altered state of mind, as Dale says he doesn't drink or do drugs.
@ddale8 https://t.co/jwe3e6341L— Lynn Hoff, MCM (@Lynn Hoff, MCM)1557593597.0
I do not drink or do the drugs, I don’t know guys— Daniel Dale (@Daniel Dale)1557592157.0
What... did they just get up and walk away? God.. my life’s a mess https://t.co/c2HDOfmfoM— Rebecca (@Rebecca)1557727096.0
That doesn't stop us from postulating what could have happened.
His jeans somehow escaped his bag, slipped out of a moving vehicle and sat in the road all night without anyone moving them. This happened in Phoenix, and let me tell you, Arizona has a weird energy to it.
I will point out, that Dale is the Toronto Star's Washington correspondent, meaning he has to research the lies of politicians often.
And by 'politicians', I mean almost exclusively Donald Trump.
While drugs and alcohol might not be blamed for his state of mind, we've no idea what effect looking at Trump's actions for too long might do to the human mind. For all our science knows, this could induce some kind of pants throwing mental state.
Or maybe they just got up on their own in the middle of the night?
@truespartan01 I have no idea they must have fallen out of a bag— Daniel Dale (@Daniel Dale)1557592780.0
@BonksMullet @ddale8 I have some bad news https://t.co/yYprss19N3— Draglikepull (@Draglikepull)1557593455.0
@ClueHeywood @PARecSpecs Phoenix!— Daniel Dale (@Daniel Dale)1557602096.0
I know what you're thinking, "Daniel Dale made this whole thing up." This is a fair point. But it's also the most boring point, so we're going to ignore it.
Plus, it'd be really disappointing if a man who is so associated with calling out Trump's lies was just a sensationalist liar himself.
As I said, the trail is cold from here.
This has actually happened to me except sober me somehow lost a bra on the sidewalk outside my hotel and drunk me f… https://t.co/uderq1cQqZ— Catherine (@Catherine)1557593379.0
Probably just a glitch in the matrix. https://t.co/3VD7KtwMt9— ADIVA (@ADIVA)1557699560.0
arizona, i love u https://t.co/EEsmsMCxev— Olivia (@Olivia)1557623699.0
On one hand, Dale is grateful he was able to get his pants back. On the other hand, I'm sure he wants to know what happened to them as much as we do.
In the meantime, all as can do is speculate.
What could have happened to those pants?