Thanksgiving is near at hand, which means many young people will be preparing one of the year's biggest meals away from their parents, perhaps even for the first time.
Thankfully, moms are always there for us, even when our knowledge is noticeably lacking...
I just texted my mom asking how to cook bacon... How am I ever going to live on my own?— Katie McKenna (@Katie McKenna)1390073652.0
Perhaps our mother's willingness to help make a good dinner at all costs is what makes this next prank so funny.
All over the nation, kids are trolling their moms by texting and asking how long to cook their thanksgiving turkey in the microwave.
The mothers' reactions were priceless.
“how do you cook a 25 pound turkey in the microwave” if this ain’t my mom https://t.co/5f4iVe2fH6— yella mader (@yella mader)1542323933.0
Some mothers just told their children to keep it simple.
Ask your parents how to cook a 25 pound turkey in a microwave. https://t.co/6jtVTOobGb— Carlos Fernandez (@Carlos Fernandez)1542256044.0
You can hear the disappointment in these mother's texts...
Hey everyone text your parents and ask them how long you should put a 25lb turkey in the microwave for and post the… https://t.co/gFgHqJEAMe— Christian (@Christian)1542320828.0
This mother immediately jumped to Defcon 5.
So I asked my mom how long it takes to cook a 25lb turkey in the microwave and these were the results (side note sh… https://t.co/nGC2cWM2Ov— cassidy (@cassidy)1542328747.0
Some children lost their turkey privileges.
I highly recommend texting your mom this holiday season and asking her, “how long do I put a 25lb turkey in the mic… https://t.co/eNyMdo3APO— jake (@jake)1542336904.0
There were also a couple moms who knew their children well enough to roll with the punches.
Mom didn’t have time for the “text your mom and ask her how long it takes to microwave a 25 lb turkey” challenge https://t.co/6WQ1eV05mO— Justin McLeckie (@Justin McLeckie)1542253673.0
Twitter was laughing their heads off at each mom's reaction.
@DorothyScales2 @mekosoff @jomochar “I can’t believe you came out of me.” https://t.co/RMqHA77PxE— Daryl Lindsey (@Daryl Lindsey)1542387623.0
@lilbabyellaaa This is hilarious !!— Rosanna Pace (@Rosanna Pace)1542369210.0
@sarahbifano @austinmancini Omg is this real 🤣— Carl Weis (@Carl Weis)1542348051.0
@deadliftsnpizza I love my mom 😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/SYGe0RkVF5— ♡ Danielle ♡ (@♡ Danielle ♡)1542488581.0
@thlifeofcharles Your mom is a blessing omg— alexei (@alexei)1542442625.0
Don't worry, mothers—we know our stuff!
Well, at least most of us do.
Some, some of us...what's the number for the Butterball Hotline?
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Apparently, their sense of humor has no bounds. Curious to hear from drill sergeants online, Redditor darkstalker1000 asked:
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
Longheld Punishment
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
Confusing Paycheck
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
Eye-Level Reprimand
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
The Stain
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
– ScootaFL
Ambush Training
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
The Replacement
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
– Konebred
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.