Falling in love is one thing, but actually making a relationship last? That's a different ballpark altogether.
Think of the couples you know that have kept their relationship going for 10 years or more, 20 years or more... what works? How do they do it?
Well, now we know, thanks to Redditor PrincessAsia, who asked: "People who married their High School sweethearts and are still happily married today. What is your secret to the long gevity of your relationship?"
"Married 25 years."
Married 25 years. Recognize that you're both going to change over time, and enjoy that journey together.
"Truly..."
Communication. Truly, this has probably been mentioned before, but you can't have a true, strong relationship without communication. If someone hurt your feelings, tell them. If they have a grievance with something you've done, listen to them. Take them seriously, don't just brush their concerns off because you don't agree with it.
"Being buddies."
Being buddies. Changing interests and lifestyles together as we got older. When arguing, Never saying below belt or hurtful cutting arguments. ( Those comments that you can never take back and will sting forever. ) I'm his biggest fan and he is mine.
"We have a date night..."
GiphyWe don't tell lies. Ever.
We have a date night three times a month. No phones or electronics.
It isn't 50/50. It's 100% always.
"Married to mine..."
Married to mine for over 10 years now. She makes me a better person and I make sure to tell her that. Being best friends helps, but marriage will always require some work. I don't do everything I should for her, but I try to make a point to ask her about her day, talk things out (calmly. So sometimes that may mean stepping back for a second.), and pay attention to what she wants/needs and keep a list of things I catch. The last one is definitely not something I get right all the time, but being able to listen to your partner and do something to make their day/hour/minute is something that really makes people cherish each other.
"Been with mine..."
Been with mine for 8 years now. Best thing is communicating. Early in the relationship I wouldn't communicate my feelings, being as men with feelings were weak. This almost ruined it all together. I began opening up more over time and now I've gotten to the point where I'll keep the conversation going when I feel my wife is holding back.
Now I don't really hold back feelings, I speak my mind openly. I also share my feelings with my daughter because I want her to know as a young woman that having feelings are ok and she can always share with me what's going on in her life. Hopefully by planting that seed early on we will have a good open father/daughter relationship in the future.
"He's my best friend..."
He's my best friend, we have quite a bit in common but maintain our separate hobbies. It took a while for us to learn how to but we figured out how to effectively communicate when we have arguments. We learned how to express when the other has done something that hurts one of us and work through it. Relationships aren't all just love and butterflies, it can be boring, it can be hard, you're going to spend a lot of time together and they're going to be the person who knows the most about you and all your secrets, habits, and quirks.
"She was my best friend..."
She was my best friend before she was my girlfriend. We've always been able to talk to each other for hours at a time, and that's still a regular occurrence. We have similar interests and views, with out being too similar and crowding each other. We also just kind of happen to be exactly what each other needs in a partner. She helps to keep me grounded and organized. I'm an excellent problem solver under pressure.
In short patience, communication, and a simply ridiculous amount of luck to have stumbled blindly into the perfect person.
"Married..."
GiphyMarried 25 years next year.
Don't expect them to change. Remember they are the only family you ever get to pick and you picked them, not some version of them you hope they could be.
Don't ever make them pick you over anything else. Let them have their friends, hobbies, etc. It doesn't have to be all about you or always involve you.
Support them in public, argue in private.
Realize the romance/spark will fade, but it is replaced with something better.
Keep your relationship off social media.
Separate vacations are great!
Redditor imboredaa wanted to discuss all the ways so many of us get lost watching things on the internet, so they asked:
"What are some of the craziest/strangest rabbit holes you’ve ever been down?"
I constantly get lost on talent show audition rabbit holes.
And I am proud!
Restored
Serial Killer Chainsaw GIF by Rise RecordsGiphy"YouTube videos of old chainsaw restorations. No idea why, but I guess that’s why it’s a rabbit hole. I don’t even own a chainsaw or have a need for one."
aretelio
'rooms/shared'
"I really enjoy going on a city’s Craigslist, then to 'rooms/shared' (or whatever it is for finding a room mate) and then typing words like 'warning' or 'beware' in the search to see what kind of horror show nightmare room mate scenarios people have decided to write about... it's usually some juicy headline like 'warning!!!'"
"Do NOT rent from this woman!!!! She is a PSYCHO!!….'"
"And after reading it, it’s always a guess to decide who is the actual crazy person, the landlord or tenant. Could be a bitter ex, tenant, or a scam, or whatever. But it’s an easy way to dive quick into some weird corners of the internet that are filled with drama."
After the Ice
"I spent a bunch of time about 12 years or so ago reading about all the details of the Titanic, how it sunk, what happened as it was sinking, who died, who survived. I got into the life stories of the people who died, and what became of the people who survived. And then I very nearly bought a piece of carpet from the Titanic."
SweetCosmicPope
Expeditions
"Andrée's Arctic balloon expedition"
"Dumb, then numb, a** thought he could fly a balloon to the North Pole. They had cyanide capsules and all, in case they crashed and were about to freeze to death. Or get eaten by a polar bear during a three month night. He and his assistants somehow managed to do both."
"Plot twist: Andree, the worst captain of all time, noticed the balloon was leaking the night before they were about to leave, pumped it up a bit, and said 'f**k it that'll do.' It did not do."
Needydadthrowaway
Thanks John
"An Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Started with 1 and ended up with a 20+ collection."
originalsanitizer
"Uncle John's Bathroom Readers are so addictive."
evanman69
Toilet time can be knowledge time.
Living Sky High
City In The Sky Vfx GIF by PBSGiphy"Turning old planes into houses! About 10 years ago I found a company that would do it for you. The wings were decks and the plane was mounted to a pedestal that allowed it to be rotate with the sun!"
BeeEyeAm
Doggerland
"Mega tsunamis. Thousand foot walls of water moving at hundreds of mph? It happens more than you would think. The Azore-Gibraltar fault will cause one one day. There evidence they happened a few times in the Pacific. It doesn't take a meteor to happen, it could be an underwater landslide (Doggerland), or a large section of a volcanic island shearing off and falling into the ocean (Oahu). Doggerland is another rabbit hole that is worth googling."
KD_Burner_Account133
Hitting the Keys
"Mechanical keyboards. I wanted to buy one, so I started researching and watching videos of reviews. I went deeper and deeper, seeing special cables, obscure companies, the tons of switches, etc etc."
"I stopped when a Youtuber I watched made a video asking her viewers and discord users to stop bullying and harassing her for using some kind of switches or keycaps. I bought my keyboard and never went back to that crazy fandom."
NirvanaForce
In the Sky
"I worked in administration at an aviation academy for a few years and decided I’d start listening to aviation podcasts since I didn’t know much about it. I came across a plane crash podcast that talks about crashes in history and how it improved the safety of flying."
"I was fascinated by it, and found myself gradually needing to know more and listening to more of the same type of podcasts, watching videos, and listening to black box recordings. It was eerie but interesting at the time. Now, I regret it tremendously because since then I’ve developed horrible anxiety when flying."
contagiousphrase
The Big Questions
steve harvey lol GIF by TV Land ClassicGiphy"Spent a lot of time in the 'quantum consciousness' rabbit hole. I had just deconstructed from religion and wanted answers about life, death, and reality. It was long before I made peace with not knowing. I spent around a year obsessed with quantum experiments, psychedelics, and the general philosophy of consciousness."
excusetheblood
Lives (and chores) can be put on serious hold when you find a juicy enough topic to research!
Well, what rabbit holes have you gotten lost in? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Who_Did_You_Expect1 wanted to hear about the things from our memories that still haunt our nightmares, so they asked:
"What's the most f--ked up thing you saw that still haunts you to this day?"
Living through peril is unimaginable. I've been luckier than most.
Tragic
Sad Best Friends GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy"I watched cancer kill my baby brother. He was in grade school when I was in college. 25 years, and I still see it in my dreams."
TheDigitalRanger
Ay Dios mio, Dios mio!
"When I was about 8, my sister and I were walking with my mom to a bus stop to see my grandma in Mexico city. There was a lady on a bike crossing the intersection that we had just crossed ourselves but she didn't stop in time to the next one and didn't look both ways, she didn't have time to stop her bike. All I remember is the lady making the beginning of a scream as a white old muscle car ran over her (bike and all) at a high speed."
" remember the sound it made as it broke everywhere. My mother took her sweater off as she screamed and covered both my sister's and my head from looking, but it was too late. I remember looking at my sister with tears in her eyes, and I was too shocked to react or comprehend what I had just seen happened. A lot of people immediately surrounded the place, and the driver came out of his car and held his head with his hands after seeing the lady on the pavement."
"I didn't look at the lady anymore. I remember hearing people screaming in shock. My mother told my dad later as she cried. I remember hearing her wake up screaming for weeks after this saying: ay Dios mio, Dios mio! Still makes my heart race when I think about it."
amahied
I Quit
"I was a news photographer for a while in the 90’s. I got called out to an accident. A high school girl ran into the back of a semi. As I was shooting, I noticed her wallet was on the ground. It had a plastic picture holder and the wind was flipping back and forth. I saw her prom pictures and shots of her with her family."
"I quit being a news photographer shortly after. I never forgot that day, and it still haunts me."
No_Confusion4720
Images
"I saw the aftermath rather than the actual event. A woman was walking home from the grocery store late at night. She crossed the road without using the crosswalks and got hit by an SUV. The two images cemented in my mind are of her, embedded in the windshield, and the driver of the car standing a little ways down the street vomiting. I've never seen someone look so utterly broken as the way the driver looked. I can't imagine what he was going through."
GrowlyBear2
Everyday
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"When I was 16 I was in a car wreck with my best friend since 3rd grade. I pulled him from the car with a broken shoulder while he was bloody, lifeless, limp. He died within the hour, not long after the ambulance got us. It’s been 18 years and I still think about it every single day."
oil_can_guster
I couldn't imagine living with that.
I also couldn't move...
"Coming to after getting hit by a vehicle as a pedestrian. Was face down, all I could see was blood soaked road and thought 'f**k, that doesn't look good.' I also couldn't move. The last thing I remember seeing before that was the grill of the vehicle. I still get jumpy when I catch a vehicles grill out of the corner of my eye and I'm not expecting it to be there."
"I'd seen a lot of accidents prior to that, but something about it being my own blood hit different."
"And yes, I had the right of way and was crossing in the proper place, at the proper time. Driver plain a** wasn't paying attention. It was daylight to boot, so no reason they couldn't see me."
Sweet_Force1478
Bad Dreams
"I was volunteering with my k9 working with NYC emergency services and chief Patell during 911 WTC attacks. We were in the middle of where the twin towers used to stand The thick gray dust, horrible smell of burnt things and dead people was all around but when the dogs started to find bodies and body parts it really freaked me out and I will forever live with this reality that seems like a bad dream."
DjCanicus
Missing
Confused Wile E Coyote GIF by Looney TunesGiphy"A family of four that had burned in a plane crash. I used to do a woodland search and rescue, and we saw a lot of wild crap, but I still have dreams about what I saw when we went to look for a missing plane."
JalenTargaryen
Goodness life is dark sometimes.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
