Falling in love is one thing, but actually making a relationship last? That's a different ballpark altogether.
Think of the couples you know that have kept their relationship going for 10 years or more, 20 years or more... what works? How do they do it?
Well, now we know, thanks to Redditor PrincessAsia, who asked: "People who married their High School sweethearts and are still happily married today. What is your secret to the long gevity of your relationship?"
"Married 25 years."
Married 25 years. Recognize that you're both going to change over time, and enjoy that journey together.
"Truly..."
Communication. Truly, this has probably been mentioned before, but you can't have a true, strong relationship without communication. If someone hurt your feelings, tell them. If they have a grievance with something you've done, listen to them. Take them seriously, don't just brush their concerns off because you don't agree with it.
"Being buddies."
Being buddies. Changing interests and lifestyles together as we got older. When arguing, Never saying below belt or hurtful cutting arguments. ( Those comments that you can never take back and will sting forever. ) I'm his biggest fan and he is mine.
"We have a date night..."
Giphy
We don't tell lies. Ever.
We have a date night three times a month. No phones or electronics.
It isn't 50/50. It's 100% always.
"Married to mine..."
Married to mine for over 10 years now. She makes me a better person and I make sure to tell her that. Being best friends helps, but marriage will always require some work. I don't do everything I should for her, but I try to make a point to ask her about her day, talk things out (calmly. So sometimes that may mean stepping back for a second.), and pay attention to what she wants/needs and keep a list of things I catch. The last one is definitely not something I get right all the time, but being able to listen to your partner and do something to make their day/hour/minute is something that really makes people cherish each other.
"Been with mine..."
Been with mine for 8 years now. Best thing is communicating. Early in the relationship I wouldn't communicate my feelings, being as men with feelings were weak. This almost ruined it all together. I began opening up more over time and now I've gotten to the point where I'll keep the conversation going when I feel my wife is holding back.
Now I don't really hold back feelings, I speak my mind openly. I also share my feelings with my daughter because I want her to know as a young woman that having feelings are ok and she can always share with me what's going on in her life. Hopefully by planting that seed early on we will have a good open father/daughter relationship in the future.
"He's my best friend..."
He's my best friend, we have quite a bit in common but maintain our separate hobbies. It took a while for us to learn how to but we figured out how to effectively communicate when we have arguments. We learned how to express when the other has done something that hurts one of us and work through it. Relationships aren't all just love and butterflies, it can be boring, it can be hard, you're going to spend a lot of time together and they're going to be the person who knows the most about you and all your secrets, habits, and quirks.
"She was my best friend..."
She was my best friend before she was my girlfriend. We've always been able to talk to each other for hours at a time, and that's still a regular occurrence. We have similar interests and views, with out being too similar and crowding each other. We also just kind of happen to be exactly what each other needs in a partner. She helps to keep me grounded and organized. I'm an excellent problem solver under pressure.
In short patience, communication, and a simply ridiculous amount of luck to have stumbled blindly into the perfect person.
"Married..."
Giphy
Married 25 years next year.
Don't expect them to change. Remember they are the only family you ever get to pick and you picked them, not some version of them you hope they could be.
Don't ever make them pick you over anything else. Let them have their friends, hobbies, etc. It doesn't have to be all about you or always involve you.
Support them in public, argue in private.
Realize the romance/spark will fade, but it is replaced with something better.
Keep your relationship off social media.
Separate vacations are great!
See? See why I don't talk to people?
Sam has played some of the most awful characters in the history of film, made me laugh til I made weird little pig snorts, and I'm pretty sure Guy Fleegman is singlehandedly responsible for me falling for my partner.
Yes, Rockwell is incredibly talented, but I'll be the first to admit my "thing" for him goes beyond my appreciation for how hard he goes in every scene he's in. It's longstanding, a little weird, and rooted in I-have-no-idea-what.
But there it is. Sam. Rockwell. I don't get it, I can't stop it, and I'm done hiding it.
Reddit user Ordinary_Owl_795 asked:
"Who are you weirdly attracted to?"
And honestly, the responses made me feel less alone. Turns out, LOTS of people have a weird "thing" for someone that they kinda don't even really understand but also can't fight. They're not all celebs either!
For some people, it's just a random person in their life. So let's get into it.
The Bus
Waving City Bus GIF by Connect TransitGiphy"There is always this one woman on my bus in the morning."
"Comfortable clothing, no make up, glasses, always reading a book and probably nearly twice my age. (40s I would guess?) I sometimes just can not stop looking at her."
"I never had this with another person." - MoneyRough2983
"There used to see this girl who I would always notice getting on the bus early in the morning on my way to work. We never spoke I was usually reading a book but I would always notice her."
"I moved and stop taking that bus and maybe a year passed, and I had forgotten about her."
"Then I was in a local bar and there was this girl having a drink. We started chatting and after a little while I realized it was the same girl from the bus. We ended up dating for about a year until I had to move away." - mtheory007
Attracted To The Obnoxious And Obsessive
the incredibles syndrome GIFGiphy"Okay do not ask but I used to have a weird attraction to Syndrome from Incredibles when I was younger. I never voiced it out loud and it was mostly because of his personality (like that makes it any better lmao)"
"To this day I still hate myself for it." - xxminie
"To be fair, Mirage seemed to have had something of a relationship with Syndrome, since she got annoyed enough to help the Incredibles foil his plans."
"Even though she played a pretty big part in killing other heroes, her life suddenly being in danger and being disregarded so flippantly by Syndrome was the catalyst in her turning on him."
"At least you didn't have a near death experience to realize that wasn't a good idea." - J_B_LaMighty
Snape
harry potter GIFGiphy"Snape. Not Alan Rickman. Alan Rickman as Snape." - think_worry_repeat
"When I say I had a crush on Snape just from reading the books. Alan Rickman fit my image of Snape perfectly. It was a very confusing time in life lol" - keriously
"Soft spot for Snape because his story was truly the most heartbreaking in the entire series." - pileodung
"My second awakening definitely involved Snape. Why is he SO hot?!"
"The voice most definitely. And sternness and slight angst also got a soft spot after learning his past. RIP Alan Rickman, you beautiful man!" - PM-me-your-portrait
Sir Ian
Ian Mckellen Tea GIFGiphy"Sir Ian McKellen. I'm a straight woman in my mid 20s. He's an elderly gay man. I don't get it." - BraceBraceBrace
"Gandalf could totally tap it. And low key, OG Dumbledore. But maybe 20y younger than he was in HP&tPS only cause I wouldn't wanna shatter his bones with the sex." - alpacasaurusrex42
The Grocer Lady
Dance Shopping GIF by Save A LotGiphy"There's a green grocer in my neighborhood. A woman in her late fifties runs it with her husband."
"She has an elegance that is difficult to put into words. Beyond her elegance is a tranquility that permeates the space around her."
"I know she's caught me stealing glances as I pick apples and oranges from the produce carts. It doesn't seem to bother her. We lock gazes every so often."
"Every time I go I feel nervous and expectant. If she wasn't married, I think I'd try to get to really know her." - LiterallyOutToLunch
The Dentist
Dentist GIFGiphy"My dentist."
"I've been seeing him for like 15 years. He's way older than me and not a man I would look at twice if he wasn't my dentist. But his presence is really comforting and the intimacy of his hands in my mouth has always been weirdly arousing."
"Never would do anything, but it's fun to imagine scenarios when I'm lying in the chair and he's leaning over me." - A_Dazzling_Method
Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This...
sweet dreams 80s GIFGiphy"Annie Lennox from the Eurythmics."
"I think and will forever continue to think she is an absolute babe even if people think she looks too masculine. I remember seeing the music video for "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" when I was younger and got introduced to how stunningly gorgeous and powerful a woman with short orange hair in a suit is."
"She's also done tons of stuff involving humanitarian efforts, philanthropy, political activism, and is an overall genuine and kind individual." - ImAKnuckleChut
"Am I Ugly?"
gene wilder suspense GIFGiphy"Gene Wilder. When I told my husband he just got quiet then said with 100% seriousness, "Am I ugly?" Lol" - IndianaJonesIsBae
"YES. What was it about him? Something about him was seriously sexy." - schplookie
"Dude, he's so beautiful!" - SaltNorth
Dream Big
boardwalk empire resignation GIFGiphy"Steve Buscemi and Micheal K Williams (RIP) I would dream of a 3 some and I have watch Boardwalk Empire and FARGO like 10+ times" - girlwithnoprez
"I was just rewatching Boardwalk Empire and I can't believe how f*cking hot everyone is in it. Maybe it's the costumes?" - J3553G
"Same! Steve has always been oddly hot, and Michael K. Williams was absolutely beautiful. Boardwalk was where I first saw him, and his presence was amazing." - KweenKunt
The Cartoon
The Little Mermaid Live GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Ursula from Little Mermaid. Yes, the cartoon. Also Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty. No, not Angelina Jolie… again the cartoon." - Sadnaloneonchristmas
"I feel you. My "odd" crush is Bruce Wayne/Batman from The Animated Series. Then again, Kevin Conroy's voice is doing most of the work there. But the tall, dark, wildly handsome drawings help, lol." - MrsRoughKnight
Congrats, turns out all of our weird crushes are ... actually pretty normal. So let's celebrate. Who gets your gears going for reasons you don't understand?