Sometimes you just need to have the hard conversations with people. The kind that are the last resort, that you really really don't want to have. It sucks, but it's necessary. Here are a few examples of these tough conversations, courtesy of the people of Reddit.
u/Ryrylx asked: [serious] What's the hardest thing you've had to say to someone?
That's super tough.
Telling my dad on the phone that my mom was dead. They hadn't been together for almost 20 years but they were still good friends and loved each other very much. She was the first woman he ever loved, marriage just wasn't good. I had to call him as soon as he got to work. I asked him if he could come by my house and he asked what was wrong and I said, "Mom's dead." (I was still in shock.)
The sad and defeated "oh my god oh my god" he said over the phone broke my heart. It didn't fully hit me until he pulled up and I just collapsed in his arms. It was awful. Worst morning of my entire life.
Good for you.
GiphyTold my mother she would no longer be a part of my life or my kids' lives.
It's been 12 years and counting. She's a toxic narcissist and the final straw was her saying something incredibly demeaning to my youngest daughter during a two week vacation on the beach (that I was 100% funding). I immediately put her a** in a cab back to the airport and have not seen or spoken to her since.
Definitely difficult, but my life is SO much better now.
Oh NO.
I had to tell my friend's mom that I shat my pants while watching a scary movie when I was at my friend's place. It was so hard to tell her. I kept talking about something else every time when I went to tell her. [seriously]
Sorry that happened to you and I hope it ended well but this is really funny to picture lol. 10th attempt: I....well...I was watching a movie...and it got me thinking, what's the deal with movies?
Wars kill in many ways.
Having to tell my daughter in law that my son, her husband, was dead.
Both my sons suffered from PTSD. The youngest became severely depressed and committed suicide. The eldest just rode his motorcycle into oncoming traffic on an interstate late at night. Wars kill in many ways.
It's good to communicate.
Giphy"I feel like I'm being neglected by you." Followed by.. "Just because we love each other doesn't mean we are good for each."
That's some solid communication right there, well done. My ex had that talk with me (we were both bad for each other but I can't deny that as a younger man I was a bad boyfriend). Years later we are still friends and are both in healthy relationships. I am a proud decent husband and I owe a lot of my growth to my ex for calling out unacceptable behaviors.
Good for you.
The morning after a (now ex) boyfriend left my apartment, I had to call a sexual assault hotline. Saying out loud that he had hurt me and asking what I needed to do next was so hard to say out loud.
The out loud is so hard. I struggle with people's reactions too. Not that they react badly, but I hate breaking their hearts.
Alcoholism hurts everyone involved.
I had to tell my husband, whom I love more than life itself, second only to my children, that he couldn't come home until he seriously started making some good decisions about his problem drinking and his life.
I miss him desperately.
One of the hardest things in the world.
GiphyHaving to explain to all of the friends in my friend group that our other friend had killed himself. I had that conversation 12 times that day alone, and I remember each word for word. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to explain.
A couple of years back, one of my close friends died in a road accident. I had to make the call to the rest of our gang. It was traumatic. To think about it now, gives me anxiety.
That's such a hard ultimatum.
My ex had a brain tumor. He had two months to live or to get surgery. He didn't want to go under the knife because he was terrified of doctors. I had to tell him that I would leave him unless he got the surgery because I wasn't going to watch him die. He got the surgery and is alive today.
I don't feel bad for emotionally manipulating him. It was hard but it was for the best.
Oof.
I had to tell an employee that he smelled and needs to improve his personal hygiene.
I'm sure everybody else appreciated it.
I have problems with my nose and had a family member approach me about this once. I was pretty mad about how they did it, but really wished somebody had said something sooner. If anything, it shows you care about his well being.
A tough one.
GiphyHaving to tell my mom that I was scared to be alone with her. My dad had just been arrested and sent to a rehab facility, and my mom was a heavy cocaine user. On top of that she was off her meds. I hadn't eaten at all that day, and I hadn't been to school in three weeks. She was hallucinating and being paranoid.
I told her I didn't feel safe with her because she was too incapacitated to make dinner. Whatever I said snapped her out of it, and she called relatives to take care of me, and then she went to rehab. I was eleven.
That's so sad.
My friend handed me a card with cursive. She asked me to read it, since she can't read cursive. The card said that her mom had HIV, and I really couldn't bear to tell her. And when I did, she just took the card and walked off.
Ew.
I had to speak to an employee about his masturbating during work time. He would leave his work station multiple times a day and go to the bathroom and masturbate.
His co-workers were pretty fed up with his actions and the fact that one of the two bathroom stalls was always occupied.
Tragic.
GiphyAwhile back, I found my best friend's dead body. His uncle was my housemate, and his parents lived a state away from me.
Not only did I have to come back to my own house and deal with his uncle's reaction... But I refused to let the cops call my buddies parents to tell them. The sounds his mom made during my phone call will stick with me forever.
That's a hard one.
I had to tell someone that I didn't love them in the same way they loved me. It was awful because they are a really close friend and I didn't want to hurt them.
Redditor H5N1BirdFlu wanted to discuss the moments in life that left us haunted and shook, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest or most unexplained event that you have ever experienced?"
I've seen so much creepiness I wouldn't know where to begin.
Deal
Walter White Wink GIF by Breaking BadGiphy"One car from one direction, and another car from the other direction stopped in front of my house. Both drivers got out and one gave the other a briefcase. Now that I am older I am guessing it was some kind of drug deal or something but at the time I found it very weird."
yapastaocho
'The Entertainer'
"We had a little copper music box that would start playing on its own. It was a man sitting at a player-piano and it would play 'The Entertainer' song. Now, I know that music boxes and such can spring (for lack of a better word) forward and play a few notes, but this thing would act like someone had wound it up and would play for a minute or two completely at random."
MercuryCrest
He?
"Me and and someone I used to know in high school way back when met to catch up. We were talking about our views on religion at some park. When we were walking back to our cars some guy said he had overheard us. We interacted a little and then went to our cars. I told her how awkward I felt knowing he overheard everything. She looked at me and said, 'He?'”
"After some comparing notes we realized we’d seen and heard entirely different people. She’d seen an elderly woman. I’d seen a middle aged man. Only problem is we only talked to the one person."
AccomplishedAuthor53
Overnight
"I usually go hiking and stay in the forest overnight, sleeping in a bivy and sometimes under a tarp. Now it's important to say I'm based in Europe. So no wild animals to be afraid of because usually they just boot it as soon as they notice you."
"So one winter night I'm sleeping under my tarp which connects to the ground on one side. It's in an area where there were fierce battles in the forrest on the border between Germany and Belgium in WWII."
"I hear something walking in the leaves, which is normal. There are always deer and ferral pigs on and about. But this time it comes closer and closer until I hear it right on the other side of my tarp and it starts growling. Its a noise I gad never heard and for a moment I was frozen trying to figure out what it might be and what to do."
"But I just decided to yell back and that did the trick. The animal walked a few steps and then turned back to growl once more before finally retreating."
"Let's put it this way, I didn't sleep for a while after that. I looked up the noise and think it was a badger."
Forest_Walkin
Devoured
Episode 4 Abc GIF by The BachelorGiphy"My family used to raise cattle. One morning I came out to check on them and I found one of the heifers had been more or less completely devoured."
"This same cow was perfectly fine the day before. There was nothing left but some hide, bones, and intestines. Thing is none of the predators that are in my area would be able to kill and eat an entire cow within the course of one night. Much less leave so little behind."
Aussieshepman
Poor cows. They live a rough life.
The Night Before
Get Out Omg GIF by Get Out MovieGiphy"When I was a kid, we lived in a kinda rural area. One night we came home late from an Uncle's house and there was a car parked up the road from our house with the headlights on."
"My mom suggested to my dad that we go see if they need help, he said no, so we went inside. Next morning police knocked on the door, a cyclist had spotted a body in the ditch exactly where the car was parked the night before."
Tpeest
Documents
"I have had a strange thing happen recently. I was waiting for my tax documents to come in so I could do my taxes. I had three documents that I put on my bedside table until I had the time."
"I decided to do it the other day and I couldn't find one of them. I tore the house apart, quizzed my husband (who swore he never touched it), checked the garbage, etc. I had resigned myself to the fact I would have to request another one, when it arrived in the mail."
"It was the same one, exact same information. I was really confused but grateful. I checked into it, it was not sent twice as far as the office could tell me."
"I don't know what to think. I KNOW I had that document because I had done some calculations with it. It's been itching at me like crazy."
monitormonkey
About 30 Feet
"A few months ago I was sitting in my living room on the couch, watching tv with a family member late at night. We have a high ceiling with a couple of rectangular windows at the very top of the wall just under where it meets the ceiling. The windows are so high (about 30 feet) we really only have them for natural lighting."
"So on the night in question, a green laser beam suddenly shown down through one of the windows, seemingly scanned the entire living room before stopping and pointing the beam right next to my family member for about 10 seconds and then disappearing entirely. It had to be either a drone or from some sort of flying aircraft. I live in a relatively secluded place which made the situation all the more unsettling."
0friday
Find Her
"Pretty sure I witnessed a kidnapping once and it still lives rent free in my head (the woman lost her slipper when she was trying to get away and i took a picture of it that i still have for some reason). I did indeed report it to police right after I saw it occur but they were pretty blasé about it and I never ended up being able to determine what they did to investigate."
ergaster8213
From Behind
the exorcist shadow GIFGiphy"I was in Jr High and had really long hair. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and almost tripped on a shoe on the floor. I bent down to move it and it felt like someone grabbed my entire pony tail and yanked it. I also could not sleep facing the wall for the longest time because it always felt like someone or something was right there behind me."
cheeseburgerphone182
Never face the wall. Life lesson.
These were some harrowing experiences, and we're glad these Redditors made it out to tell the story.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor NeedSomeSparkInLife wanted to know who would be willing to share, so they asked:
"What makes you not want to be intimate with your SO?"
I'm an easily turned off person.
So it doesn't take much.
Desire
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Taking a moment to realize I'm the only one that makes sexual advances in the relationship. Makes me not want it. People think men only want sex for face value but a lot of men actually want the feeling of being desired more so."
Relative-Hour-9359
Anger Issues
"I've always heard of fighting then having sex after. Fighting has always made me not want it. The last thing I want to do when someone pisses me off is have sex with them. What made it worse is she always wanted to when we were arguing which made the argument worse when I refused."
DaMoonRulez_1
"I think you're supposed to resolve your fight, realize that you care for each other a lot, move past it, then have the passion because of that. Not fight right into sex."
Ksp-or-GTFO
Take a Shower
"My ex and I were together for nearly 7 years, but his hygiene never improved, so we stopped being intimate like, 3 years before I finally broke up with him. He showered only once a week, but he worked in kitchens, so he was sweaty and greasy all the time."
"He had an infected tooth, so he constantly had bad breath, but he refused to visit a dentist, even when he had the money to afford dental work. He stopped working out within the first year of us being together, which sucked because he would get jealous if I went to the gym by myself or with my girlfriends, but he refused to come with me."
GreenChorizo
Sober Time
"Personally, the only issue I have is my SO's drinking. He just becomes an unattractive person when he's drunk. It's one thing if we're both out socializing and drinking together occasionally, but he drinks almost every day, sitting on the couch in front of the TV and to the point of sloppy drunkenness way too often. His face changes, his posture changes, his personality changes... I just get so turned off."
WeptSiren3113
Hang Up
Art Hello GIF by LINDSEY L33Giphy"When they are glued to their phones non stop! Put that s**t down and look at me before we go to bed!"
Palmwine
"I really dislike this too. Makes me feel alone in the relationship."
RealBrownPerson
No phones in bed. Hard rule for many of us to follow.
Step Back
Be Quiet Go Away GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy"When I make a move, and then get the feeling she's not really in the mood/would only do it to please me. I want us both to have a good time, not only me. So when she seems not into it, I take a step back."
Level-Plate8372
Calm Down
"To be brutally honest, her anxiety and insecurity makes sex such a hassle. She doesn’t believe anything I say about wanting her, she can almost never relax during sex, she doesn’t take time to enjoy it, and if God forbid I have any trouble finishing, she takes it more personally than anything, which of course puts more pressure on me to finish, which then makes it almost impossible."
Ben_Franklinstein
When at Wal-Mart
"When they’ve done something really nasty/unkind that day. Cruelty is the most ugly thing a person can show, in my eyes. I had a boyfriend that I went to Wal-Mart with and he ended up flipping off and storming right past the sweet little old man that checks the receipts at the door."
"It was partially about how I used to check receipts and I remembered how I felt when people treated me like that- but I also remember the look on the little old man’s face and just how disgusted I was with my partner being so nasty about it."
"I couldn’t touch him after that and I got grossed out when he touched me. And then I started to notice how he was nasty to other people as well. It eventually led to our break up."
spxdergirl
33 Years In
"My husband used to dislike his job - he’d come home and do nothing but bi**h. After awhile, I just gave up trying to cheer him up with sex - you can only try so long. So, we had a long dry spell - like, whatever you think a dry spell would be, it’s longer. When someone is constantly annoyed, well, it’s hard to feel amorous."
"Anyway, he early retired (54) like a month before Covid kicked in and by autumn that year, well, let’s just say we’re back to what we were like when we first met. He’s not pissed off all the time. (I’m retired as well, and let’s just say, afternoon nookie is such a perk, as is morning nookie and 3am nookie because you can sleep in!) I’m glad we stayed together. Going on 33 years and we’re just so happy."
NicInNS
Rage
Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Feeling angry. I hate feeling angry. I don't like being around other people when angry. So I'll go for a walk, a drive etc, and just clear my head."
jackfaire
It seems like "dead bed," as some folks call it, can stem from many things, from mood, attraction, hygiene, and more.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.