"What's an unspoken rule on a first date?"
EyeContact, And Not With Your Screen...
"Your phone is not part of the date."- Wonderful-Note9289
"Don't be on your phone the whole time."
"And don't talk about your ex."- HoW-LoNg-DoCtOR-YES
Think Very Carefully Before That Second Round
"Don’t drink too much."- drivethruhell
"Had a date like this."
"Within the first 90 minutes they had taken like three shots, and were on their third drink."
"I understand wanting to calm your nerves, but damn."
"The whole 'you need to play catch up LOL' isn't as cute as you think it is."
"We did not go on any other dates."- mothershipq
Drink GIFGiphyThere Is no Scent More Intoxicating Than Your Own...
"Have a shower beforehand."- Porriz
"And take it easy with the perfume/cologne."
Your date shouldn't smell you before they see you."- imnotlouise
No One Likes A Moocher...
"Don't order any extras plates to eat at home with your mom when the other is paying."- lil_wavey999
Always Be On The Same Page...
"Both should know it is a date."- mosquitohater2023
"I met a woman at an out of town festival through a friend of mine that she was hooking up with."
"She ended up taking too many shrooms and I spent an hour with her helping her to feel calmer."
"She is a traveling nurse and was going to be in my city in a few weeks so we exchange numbers and when she gets in town she asked if I want to get some sushi."
"Happy to make a new friend, we meet up, talk a lot about my friend that she’s hooking up with telling funny stories about him."
"Eventually it comes up that I’m leaving the next day for a 3 week trip to Europe with my girlfriend and she screams, 'I thought this was a f*cking date!'"
"Reeeeaaallly awkward."- redmoskeeto
Dating Wtf GIF by MaxGiphyBe Open And Transparent...
"Not a rule but never make the other person carry the conversation."
"You're both here to make an effort and give each other the respect."
"If you both want different things then let it be said after."
"No need to hurt someone's self-respect for your ego."- Arkjump
"Be there with honest intentions and nothing else."- S-Vagus
Or At Least Be Willing To Share
"Don’t order 3 full meals."- WinkMartindale
"AND expecting him to pay for all of it."
"I mean sure if you want to take some home for your mom, you pay for that yourself."- Widowhawk·
GiphyBe Prepared For A Lack Of Shared Interests...
"Leave the coin collection at home, wow her with that on the second date."- IronLion11·
Choose Your Activities Carefully
"Don't go to the movies or a fancy dinner on your first date if you don't already know this person."
"The movies is a place where you sit in silence for 2 hours staring straight ahead."
"That does not give you any opportunity to get to know the other person."
"A sit down dinner can be perfectly fine, but if you know within the first 10 minutes that you have no desire to spend any more time in this person's presence, you're stuck through the rest of the meal."
"First dates should always be intentionally short with an option to extend."
"Coffee, froyo, drinks, things that can turn into an hour of talking or 'would you like to grab a bite to eat?'"- baltinerdist
Get Your Emotions Under Control
"Don't excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then accidentally think about your ex while in there, have to fight back tears, and then come back to the table after way too long, with puffy red eyes."
"Whoops." - Reddit
Sad That 70S Show GIF by LaffGiphyJust Be Open And Honest... To an Extent...
"Don't: Unload on your date about your trauma."
"Gotta keep that sh*t under wraps until at least date 5."
"Do: Be yourself, unless your whole personality teeters on your traumatic history--in that case, self-deprecating humor will suffice until you can successfully abandon all hope and sit in your car for an hour to cry afterward."-Deep-Essay-4829
A Conversation Is A Two-Way Street
"Usually when asked a question I’d answer it and then hit her with a 'what about you?'"
"To ensure that I wasn’t dominating the convo."
"Let the other person speak."- bumboclawt
... NOPE...
"Bring an egg, uncooked, in your pocket."
"Casually let it fall out at the end of the date."
"This establishes you as a breadwinner, who else has the money to just carry eggs around in their pockets?"
"When your date, inevitably, wants to know more about the egg just shrug it off."
"You're not here to brag, your egg does that for you."- wearywarrior
Broken Heart Love GIF by Share It AgainGiphyIf there is one rule absolutely everyone should follow when going on a first date, it's not being beholden to rules, spoken or unspoken.
After all, the best romances are often the ones which happen organically.
Love cannot be forced.
Redditor SlightlyNaughty03 wanted to know how many of us would react when discovering a partner's saucy secrets, so they asked:
"You’re dating a girl and you really like her and then you find out she has OF… how do you react?"
I think I'd be ok with an OnlyFans past.
That's just me.
Your Check
Tonight Show Yes GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"You could've paid for dinner this whole time??"
OkAthlete001
"This guy has his priorities in order."
laserarmyguy
Do Research
"Check out her page to see if she posted us having sex."
Expensive-Track4002
"If she did, demand a cut. 'I’m not cheap b**ch!!' As Chappelle would say. Have some dignity."
Ninety9probs
"That’s super illegal and sites like that have protections in place. Like even automatic facial recognition of (I assume just a percentage) of the content posted. You need to provide verification (consent and proof of age) for every person that is shown on your page."
PrincessNakeyDance
Keep Going
"I’d personally move on. People are entitled to do what they please, of course. It’s just not for me, no hard feelings."
irnbrd00
"Second this, moving on while respecting what they do; however my reasoning would be that if they’re actually popular on OF, then a large amount of time is spent talking, performing, and recording for those 'fans.' It takes a lot of their attention away from you as a significant other and continuous, but unintentional, neglect isn’t something many people enjoy in a relationship."
x_Reign
Sacred
"If we are in a relationship and I love you. Then for me our bodies are sacred to our relationship. I don’t want me and you to be sexualised by other men/women. It’s our private 'place' to be vulnerable and close. Not something you sell for money... just my opinion. I respect everyone else’s too."
GlumSilence
Be Real
domino's pizza GIF by DominosnlGiphy"Ask her if she needs someone to play a pizza delivery guy."
TSanBot
I hate the pizza guy trope.
Not Ready
Season 9 Smh GIF by The OfficeGiphy"I’m emotionally mature enough to know that I’m not emotionally mature enough to have a partner that does Only Fans."
r-h-o
"Girlfriend experience"
"It's not the lewds/nudes that bother me, its the selling subs a 'girlfriend experience.' Find it very sad/creepy to chat up your subs with fake affection, I mean who are the kind of people to pay for this delusion? Probably very insecure, desperate people, some poor sap dropping thousands a year to feel some modicum of affection."
"Just feels creepy knowing this and then taking that money. I don't know how to date someone while they're 'playing house' with who knows how many delusional people."
Nowon_atoll
Make $$$
"I actually dated a girl doing this, making very very good money, really depends on how sensitive you are to those sort of things, me personally the relationship was good and the money was good and it didn’t really bother me. Each to their own I suppose."
TheHarperHarris
Grow Up
"Talk about it like a reasonable adult."
"Why does she have an OF? Is it as a sidegig or a main gig."
"Then what kind of content she makes, I've heard about a lot of different types, one was pretty much just cleaning in lingerie which doesn't seem bad to me, whether she'd give it up we ended up in a relationship, stuff like that."
"Once we've figured out the details, I'd make a decision."
dreng3
Go Fish
"I'm a bi woman fwiw. It'd be a no for me. I wouldn't like a partner interacting with other people sexually in this context or fake-romantically. That isn't an unreasonable boundary imo. I'd worry about whatever issues her career might entail re: burnout on sex and emotional intimacy, crazy subscribers, doxxing, etc."
"Platforms like OF have a lot of ethical issues with trafficking, CSA, insufficient verifications, etc. again, so it's not something I'd feel comfortable in supporting. I don't believe in making sex into a commodity. It indicates incompatible views about sexuality, which is an important standard for me. Overall just isn't what I'm looking for in a relationship and there are plenty of fish in the sea."
letheix
Over & Done
Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy"Never again. I’ve been in 4 relationships with OF girls and they are consistently on their phones all day and night. From what I’ve learned is you need to set boundaries and dedicate time for a relationship."
Crazy_Cat_Dude2
It seems like these Redditors laid it out for us: discussions would be key, as well as boundaries.
One Redditor wanted to hear about the reactions people had broaching the topic, so they asked:
"What would you say if your partner asked you to open the relationship?"
I'm not adverse to an open relationship, but I'd like to start just the two of us and then we'll see.
Up Front
"This is something I screen for and discuss upfront. It's not for me, but I would not want to stifle someone who feels an open relationship is good for them. I know we would not be happy together."
Choice_Tangelo1933
14 Years In...
"I've been married for 14 years now. We're both very happy and we regularly talk about our desires for the future. I think I know and understand her fully. If she dropped a bomb like this on me it would be the first sign our interests are misaligned beyond repair. And I'd probably never fully trust anyone ever again."
spiderfarmer
Red Flags
"From my experience. 9/10 times if the relationship started monogamous and this conversation pop up they already have someone in mind and want the go ahead to go after them and if it fails they’ll cry about wanting to close it back up. If it was something on the table as a possibility at the beginning of the relationship, sure. If it wasn’t then no."
Vroomy_vroom_vroom
FWB
"Was dating a girl a few months and we went on a road trip for the weekend. Great time, etc. On the way back she spent a solid hour talking about how she couldn't settle down with any single guy, always wanted side pieces, stuff like that. I just listened, we weren't super far into the relationship but I thought it was going well."
"Anyway, I started talking to other girls since I didn't feel priority and slept with an old FWB. 'Gf' came over and saw a used condom in the trash and went apesh*t. I recalled the conversation about her wanting to date multiple guys, and explained I didn't feel like we were exclusive due to that. Breaks up with me, lol."
thermal_shock
Tell Me
suspicious GIFGiphy"I’d want to know who my partner met that made them consider this as an option."
tormentrock
Options are always going to be there. Might as well ask now.
Whoops
I Have No Idea Reaction GIF by MTV Movie & TV AwardsGiphy"My ex husband asked me to do this. I was upset and uncomfortable but he kept asking so finally I relented. Then I had way more people interested in me than him and he got super bu**hurt super fast."
WesternOld3507
So Poly
"Not a chance. If they want to f**k around I'll sever ties with them faster than the flash."
Ivanhunterjo1991
"Yep. Friend of mine did that. His gf at the time said she wanted to have an open relationship. He gave her one chance to stop and never bring it up again. She pushed it and he immediately broke up with her and kicked her out within 10 minutes. Litterally pushed her a** out the freaking door. (he was paying the rent and bills and his name was on the lease)."
"Ran into her a few months ago. Their breakup was about 5 years ago now, she said it was the stupidest thing she ever did. She sure as s**t doesn't identify as 'poly' now, apparently she wound up on the other end of things when her new bf suggested their relationship be open, and within a week he brought another woman home."
Kaidiwoomp
Non-Starter
"Absolutely not. We’ve agreed we’re for each other and he knows I’m monogamous (as I know he is). Even the thought of him meeting someone else that makes him go 'I wanna see what it’s like to be with her,' makes me angry. Our relationship would be over at that point."
"I’m a jealous person by nature. Now that doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself if he has friends who are women. But the jealousy will always loom in the back of my mind. This is why I know the poly lifestyle is not for me."
redvelvetcakebatter
Struggles
"Wanting an open relationship tells me I'm not enough for them. The very suggestion would make me question our relationship then and there. Maybe I'm just insecure, but I'd probably struggle to see them the same way and likely end up breaking things off."
ayylotus
"Completely agree. And I’d be deeply, deeply hurt by the suggestion. We have been together 15 years, married for 8, and suddenly he wants a radical change in the most basic nature of our relationship? I’d be heartbroken."
Sp4ceh0rse
Ugly Thoughts
No Way Bird GIFGiphy"I’d say no. Then I would constantly be thinking about the fact that they wanted to sleep with other people while they were in a relationship with me (or maybe they already acted on those desires), and the ugly thoughts would lead to me ending the relationship."
Flailus
This is never an easy topic. Be sure to speak openly and honestly while considering all the possible ramifications.
Do you have any relevant experiences to share? Let us kow in the comments below.
"What's a really awkward situation that everyone can relate with?"
The Dryer Was Broken...
"Someone trying to initiate a handshake after you’ve just washed your hands."
"It’s either a few awkward seconds of quickly drying your hands on your jeans, or shaking their hand anyway and seeing the discomfort in their eyes."-- JDizzlez99809
Left Hangin'...
"Saying 'hello' or 'how are you' to somebody and getting 100% ignored."- 2Alien4Earth
The Anticipation...
"Someone showing everyone in the group something on their phone and waiting until it is your turn."- cbakapeiehnak
Bored Cabin Fever GIFGiphyLoud Bodily Functions...
"Having your stomach rumble in the middle of a quiet class /meeting."
"Both in college, and at store meetings, my go-to cover-up strategy was to furiously flip through pages of notes to try and drown it out."- JSuperStition
...[Crickets]...
"When you run out of things to say during a conversation and you’re not quite sure how to end it..."- Ronin12793
Isn't That Interesting?
"Not being able to pick up when someone else is completely disinterested in what you are talking about."- st0pxer
Tired Pbs Nature GIF by Nature on PBSGiphyMysterious Noises...
"Ever drag your shoe across a tile floor and have it make a loud, wet, fart sound, so everyone in the room looks at you?"
"Then you insist it was your shoe and try to make the sound again, but nothing happens?"
"Yeah, that."- StillN0tATony
"Hi... You..."
"When you've had multiple interactions with someone but you can't remember their name but it's gone too far to admit you've forgotten it so you just have to call them love or mate forever."- Ells_Bells1
Who Can Answer That?
"Being called on to answer a question you really have no idea how to answer."- drbrockstar69
sitting eric cartman GIF by South Park GiphyAt Least They're Not My Parents...
"Being at a friends house as a kid and the friend's mother starts yelling at your friend."
"Being at a friends house as a kid and the friend's father walks in only wearing underwear."- TheBassMeister
Who hasn't found themself the awkward situation at least once.
Such having gone through a humiliating experience which you think everybody goes through.
Only to ask your friends if it ever happened to them, and found yourself greeted with stunned silence.
Reasons why you should always make sure there is ice cream in your freezer...
Redditor tinfoil3346 wanted everyone to fess up to all the naughty things the adults on our lives can't know.
"What is something you will never tell your parent?"
I can't divulge any of my secrets. My mom reads me.
I'll Pass
Food No GIF by BustleGiphy"My mom's cheesecake is just NOT that good. Everyone praises her and tells her it's the best they've ever had. They've even gone so far as to tell her to sell them. It's just not it. I can never tell her, though."
ashissexy
Being a Witness
"Seeing them so miserable together is the main reason why I don't ever want to marry."
Toulamarr
"I can relate. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. There was so much emotional and physical abuse. My mother couldn't leave my father for many reasons. Now they are fine and things are not as toxic as they used to be."
"But watching their marriage, made me realize I don't wanna ever get married. I hate marriage. That's something my parents don't accept. They want me to live the life they think is good for me, without considering if that's what I want. It's just so messy."
Sea_Custard2562
Legend
"I got so drunk and stoned one night I let a raccoon in the house because I thought it was my dogs. I got the raccoon out but the raccoon ripped up the couch. I just flipped the couch pillows over it’s been a year and they still haven’t found out."
Izzynivy
"What a legend. That seriously makes for a great story and someday when they're getting rid of the couch you can tell them about it. Plus, I wouldn't put it past some kids to do that sober. I'm sure you were a little older than most would be, but hey, you were also intoxicated."
AtDawnWeDEUSVULT
F U Cancer
"That my cancer came back. My Mom is 76 and Step Dad 85 both with heart problems. They didn't handle it well years ago so now would destroy them."
Ok_Introduction_7788
"I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. I got diagnosed with it at 29. I was fortunate that mine was one that was beatable, but it was not an easy road. It was quite a physical and emotional rollercoaster. I don't know what kind you are dealing with or what stage you are in, but I wish you the best."
Odd_Description1
Lazarus
funeral im back GIFGiphy"I died on the table. They didn’t know. I died for a short while and I’m back."
TreatGlittering7469
Now that is some daytime drama drama.
Truth
Will Ferrell Dad GIF by filmeditorGiphy"That I know my dad is not my real dad. Found old letters in my mom's things. The man that raised me will always be my dad."
Sudden-Clock-2068
Degradation
"How much it hurts me when they degrade my success."
MusicLife16
"I feel you. I just got into on of the top schools in Melbourne and I thought my parents would be happy and I would be stress free. But they are saying I'm not good enough to go there and stuff like that. I feel you. It hurts."
TangledExtensionCord
"Lemme tell you a secret, they know you ARE good enough but are jealous of your success and can't handle it."
CCGamesSteve
Vegas
"When I was 17 I was suppose to go to cheer camp with the cheerleading squad but after my Mom dropped me off with the cheer coach I told her I didn't feel good. My boyfriend came and got me and we drove to Vegas that weekend. We both had fake IDs and had a great time. How my parents never found this out... I will never know."
Sea-Horror-814
No wonder no one likes you...
"That they’re the reason I keep everyone at a distance emotionally. I can’t open up because every time I did when I was younger I was just yelled at."
mascaratearstreaks
"My mom would use my fears and problems against me later. I would cry about being picked on at school and two days later she would get mad at me about something and say 'no wonder no one likes you' This is when I was like 8."
jessflyc
"Same, and now that I’m working on it, it hurts just as much as it did then. I hope you find peace with the past, you are strong and capable!"
ImaginaryStudent9097
Leave me alone...
Little Mermaid Soul GIFGiphy"That I'm familiar with them, not friendly. Every encounter with them is soul draining on almost every level."
NewEnglandManchowder
kids is 90%
"The reason I won't have kids is 90% because all my medical issues that prevent me from having a normal life are genetic, and 10% is that given my mental health I don't know that I would survive during/after pregnancy."
"I've been upfront about the 10% and made it seem like the sole reason, with 'it's just as well, my kids would probably inherit XYZ anyway' sounding like an afterthought. My parents would be crushed by the truth and would think that I blamed them for my life struggles, even if I told them I didn't."
OkBottle8719
Forgiveness
"I am absolutely destroyed that no one helped me with my mental health issues as a kid, and she was mentally abusive to me and made it worse. I will never forgive her for that. We have a good relationship now and I don't want to ruin it, but yea, really sucks."
mcbeetoto
JUMP!
"That at 15 I had sex with my boyfriend in my bed and my father got home early from work. My boyfriend hid under the bed until he could sneak out the front door. He jumped on his bike half dressed and biked away at top speed. Great memory for me and I will never tell. I’m in my 50’s. Lol."
likespeopleandbooks
Secrets
"I knew about my brothers porn stash, because he kept it under the towels in our shared bathroom. But don't you worry big bro. I'll never tell our parents that you have a thing for large black women that don't shave. Your secret is safe with me. And the Internet."
MarionPowellV
"Secret is safe with us, no worries."
murray1337
Whimpers and tears...
Married At First Sight Reaction GIF by LifetimeGiphy"I have genuine struggles with crying because as a kid some of my friends and even my schools guidance counselor told me I looked & sounded weird when I cried."
"I was crying that day because I had a nightmare the day before of my dad dying and I really didn’t want him to die. Ever since I was told that, I’ve found it hard to cry. When I do, it’s a few pathetic whimpers and tears. I haven’t been able to full-on sob or cry in about 6 years."
Fandoms_local_Kiwi
They Know
"I put my fist through the wall behind my old bedroom door at my parents' house many years ago. To this day, they have no idea it is there thanks to a strategically placed Star Wars poster that I never took down. I live in fear of the day they decide to remove it."
MarionPowellV
"I got married yesterday. In my speech I basically said those words out loud to them for the first time. It felt really good, despite them probably knowing anyway."
UnoriginalBob
feeling/doing
"About how much better I’m feeling/doing. All my life I’ve had mental issues, constantly depressed, suicidal, and alone. When the doctors sounded the alarm on my mental state at age 9, neither one of them believed them or me. Specifically stating, “She’s lying, what could she possibly have to deal with that’s so hard. I would love to see her deal with the misery I go through.'"
"Every time I mentioned getting help when I was young I was screamed at me would say things like, 'Am I really that horrible of a mother?' When I turned 18, I went to a doctor alone for the first time. I finally got the help I needed. I’m on a lot of medication now, but I feel so, so much better. I even started college and am able to do normal human things."
"I won’t ever tell me parents this. I can’t even imagine how they would act if they actually knew. When I see them now, they would always mention how different I seem and 'how they miss the old me.' I’ve got news for them, the old me was so desperate to feel they way I do now."
houseofblxck
Spider Down
"I bought a tarantula as a gag to scare a coworker. Afterward, I had a friend who was going to give it a home. Before I could give it to my friend it escaped from my bedroom. I looked for it but couldn’t find it. While I was at work about a week later, my dad found it crawling around the first floor of the house and it startled him."
"He managed to catch it and put it outside the house. My sister just happen to get home from a sleep away camp so he blamed her thinking the giant spider hitched a ride on her things."
Dawgfish_Head
Oh the secrets we'll take to the grave. Mom and dad must never know.
What secrets would you like to get off your chest without telling your parents? Liberate yourself in the comments.