Getting rejected can hurt, but it's the sort of thing that happens to everyone and you're going to have a much better time in life if you have a sense of humor about it.
One reddit user asked:
Guys, what made you realize, "this girl is definitely not into me"?
and honestly a lot of the responses had people cracking up. There aren't a lot of signals any clearer than faking amnesia or an official "wristband of friendship."
So kick back and have a read and a cringe. And please, if you'e got a hilarious rejection story share it. I mean, I once had a dude move all the way to the other side of the country rather than just tell me he was done. My friends still laugh about how ridiculous that was, but that's a story probably best saved for a whole other article...
Camping And Consequences
We flirted for several weeks, hung out every day, I kept feeling a closer and closer connection but due to circumstances I could not control we were never alone enough together for me to test it. Had some friends plan a camping trip and I invited her and she said yes. I even specifically told her there's gonna be two couples there so we're gonna be in a tent just the two of us, she said yeah she knows.
Get to the trip, we have a few drinks and I ask her if she wants to take a walk with me to look at stars (I get it, it's corny, shut up.) Once we're a little away from everyone I tell her how much I like her and attempt to go in for a kiss.
NOPE: "Sorry...I'm not what you're looking for"
That shattered me; utterly gutted.
We ended up going to a different area that weekend, met another group and I ended up meeting a girl who actually was into me - which made the first girl act wildly jealous and leave.
An Ego 180
I was with 2 guy friends at our mall one time (years ago in jr. High). A small group of girls started following us. So we stopped and waited to see what they would do. Eventually 1 comes over and says that her and her friends think we're cute and can they have our numbers. I remember feeling pretty bad@ss just then - I didn't realize yet that I wasn't included lol.
So one buddy says he has a girlfriend (he did), girl looks at buddy #2 and he gives her his number. She says ok thanks and leaves. Didn't even look at me. Ego did a 180 that day. Lol
- TenGHz
Death
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I told em I had feelings for them they responded with
"I'm dying"
They followed it up with a joke about corona and pretended like I never said anything. Which to be honest hurts more than proper rejection, at least acknowledge it.
If It Aint Broke, Don't Fix It
Gave a girl at work my number on a piece of paper and she handed it right back and said "We talk at work all the time so let's keep doing that"
Savage!
At least she was clear about it though...
That sucks, but gotta give it to her, she ripped off the band-aid fast, no ambiguity in that rejection.
One Sided
Stopped texting first and realized that she never texted me for three days. It was totally one sided.
An actual girlfriend ran this experiment and found that I didn't text her for a week... some people are just sh*t (ie. me). My bf status didn't survive this experiment, but I learned from it.
I was 18, fun loving and carefree, and I've always had a poor grasp of passing time... I had no idea. We lived a 30min drive for her/60min bus for me apart, so it wasn't unusual to go a week without seeing each other. She suspected that she was the one driving the text conversations, and apparently she was absolutely correct.
I was soooo into this girl, and it sucks that I made her think otherwise. I'm 35 now, and we're still friends. I'm very happily married, in no small part due to some post-break up coaching from the first girl on how to be a better human.
"Oh..."
My roommate encouraged me to ask this girl out. He said she really liked me.
So I ask her out and set a dinner date. I pick her up and at dinner, she barely responds to me. I ask questions about her major, her family, etc and all I get back are short answers and no follow up. I'm frustrated and she's unhappy and I guess we both look miserable when the waitress tells us that we need to perk up and be happy!
She then asks how long we've been dating. Her face falls when I tell her this is the first date she goes "Oh..." and walks away and doesn't really talk to us again.
After dinner, we were supposed to go to a friend's house who was having a party but I look at her in the car and say "Look, obviously neither one of us had a good time. Instead of going to the party why don't I take you back to your dorm?" She said yeah and that was it.
The waitress really did put her foot in her mouth but it was good for me to hear that "Yes, yes this is a horrible date and it's obvious to other people too. Time to cut your loses and go home."
I went back to my roommate FURIOUS and asked him why he thought she had a crush on me. He said he thought she would catch a crush on me once she got to know me, making me realize he hadn't even talked to her.
Yeah, well she didn't.
The Wristband
She gave me a thin paper wristband she has made which said "the wristband of friendship". Like literally printed on it.
This is the best one by far. Sorry but also thank you. I might have not even been upset 'cause it's just so funny.
- HobKing
I feel like if it got that far for you to realize she wasn't into you then you probably deserve the blunt message at least a little bit since whatever else she tried obviously wasn't working.
Lock Screen
Oh snap. So, last fall I went to class and ran into this really cute girl and I thought "hey, I'm gonna try to talk to her more" and over the next 2 weeks I found 0 openings until we were told to get into groups for a project. Small class, but I wasn't in her group so I asked her if it was cool if I joined her group because they seemed more serious than my other group. (Bunch of losers)
She said yes. So it was me, her best friend and another girl I'd talked to for a bit. We agreed to meet up on Friday at the library. We talked a bit more before then and became friends. She's really touchy so she'd grab my arm, lean on me etc. I thought she was into me. I show up early and she was there alone so we began to talk and she's sooo much like me. Has a weird sense of humor, very smart, and super friendly. She even liked Dragonball. That's the dream!
Then the other two girls arrive and I see her phone and her lock screen is of her best friend. The other girl comments "Aww, your best friends your lock screen?" And she says "nope, my girlfriends my lock screen"
So that really made me realize she totally wasn't interested in me at all.
Funny thing is, we all are still really good friends. We've tried to take classes together and she's helped me out when I had trouble. I accidentally ruined her surprise birthday party, we hung out while we could, she'd buy us lunch, invite us to her place and we really have a good time together. Those 3 girls are the best friends I've made in university.
It's kinda sad but before I went like 6 months without anyone in college saying my name or even talking to me. They weren't mean. They were just not my friends. But I met these girls and I have a friend network, I have a constant study group and she's even helping me lose weight because I couldn't do it on my own.
She wasn't into me but I honestly couldn't care less. I'm way happier now than I was before I met her.
Amnesia
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I have to tell this because it's hilarious and I know for a fact it's true because I witnessed it.
A girl I know was dating a guy who turned out to be married. The wife found out but stayed with the husband. So the guy gets in a car accident and the side chick girl calls to see if he's ok.
The dude tells her he has amnesia and doesn't remember her and he's with his wife now. Homeboy done said he got amnesia to get rid of the side chick!
Bathroom Breaks
I was in a club and wanted to go to the bathroom. He kept pulling me back into his lap. I tried to explain and he wouldn't listen. So I peed in his lap
- gigila
A Slip
When I accidentally let a fart slip as we got out of the car to her crib and then suddenly had to sleep in the guest room.
Let Me Stop You Right There
Female colleague at the beer garden: "Awww, cute. But let me stop you right there. You are more like a cute little brother."
She was 28-29, I was 21-22. It didn't hurt as much as I thought/excepted. Still in contact with her.
Thanks Dad
Kinda sorta on topic, but 180 degrees different:
I once lived with this very beautiful woman, and my dad, who hadn't visited much, suddenly started visiting me once a month (flying his plane to the local airport). I thought, great...it's good to get to hang out more. When that relationship ended, suddenly and immediately dad stopped flying there to see me. So...yeah, I found out my dad definitely wasn't into me, just my girlfriend.
- Kurt300
Aging Well
Not a girl, cos gay etc. But heard this guy I worked with had a crush on me, which was awesome cos I always liked him but didn't think I had a chance as I was about 8 years older.
We went on a few dates and got on really well, looked like it was going somewhere until I dropped my age into a conversation and saw the horrified look on his face. Turns out his roommate told him I was MUCH younger than I actually was and from that point on it was pretty clear it was going nowhere.
On the plus side, found out I still look young af 👍
Almost
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I asked a girl out to see a movie and she turned up with a female friend. I only had two tickets, and this was a very nice movie theatre so the seats were allocated . I bought another one, but it was now late, so the seat was at the back...and yes, that's the one I sat in.
She called me later and said 'they had tried to find me..' but from my crows nest seat I had seen them leave. They had quickly walked straight to the exit, not even looking back.
I can't see 'Almost Famous' without feeling that same disappointment.
Eye-Snapping Karma
I had never been dumped, I was always the one to end it. So the first time it happened I didn't even realize it.
It was only while clearing an email inbox, running across an old message from someone I had left, recognizing the language—someone else had been saying all the same things to me that I had been saying to this other girl.
...Oh—I am being ghosted! And I'm acting like one of those clingy "psycho" girls I used to date...
...Oh—being ghosted sucks. Those girls were not psycho, I am just a terrible person...
Opened my eyes. Hard. Not just snapping to the fact that the girl I loved did not want to be with me (ouch)
But also that I had done the same thing to so many girls without even realizing (yikes)
So not just hurt, shock, embarrassment but also shame on top; a real seven-layer burrito of trash.
In the long run it made me a better person. When it came time to end things in later relationships, from either direction, I handled it better.
...too bad I didn't realize it before I spiraled and burnt a bunch more bridges... sigh
Fell Flat
After taking her out to dinner, having a great time, making out with her and slowly our clothes came off and... she was super super dry.
I noticed she had an odd expression on her face. Like you lost a loved one or had your heart broken -and then I realized everything like the end of a SAW movie:
She didn't really get over her ex-fiance who died of cancer a year before.
I knew her for 10 years and I always had a crush on her too! Out of circumstance we just both were always seeing someone else. We were never single at the same time.
I just hated how it fell so flat lol. UGH.
Initiation
Actually initiated the hug for once and she tensed up, recoiled and let out a little yelp. I think about that girl all the time. She was the perfect height for me to rest my chin on her head when I hugged her. I wish I was less awkward back then.
Addition By Subtraction
When my 60 year old female neighbor and close "friend "of 5 years told me not to come near her after I got the flu shot, but wanted to hang out during the Covid-19 quarantine. She then went after another man.
Addition by subtraction. There were many other quirks like ADD, germophobia, possible bipolar and others - but that was the last straw. Too much baggage for an attractive woman that age which; explains why she was never married.
- mdjake
A Crumb Of A Hint
Uhhh once me and a guy i was friends with kept matching on dating apps, and we would be playful and I would ask him to hang out and he would say he's down. Once I ran into him at a bar and sat with him awhile and he looked at me deeply and said, "You know, I think about you a lot."
And idk he was drunk so I didnt want to make a move when he wasnt sober, but I told him the same and we flirted a little. Then on Instagram i got bold once and called him attractive and flirted, and all he did was "like" the message, so I just stopped. If I cant tell if they return an interest, and if they're not making any obvious indications, why would I even want them?
Part of dating is wanting to feel wanted. I genuinely really liked him for a few years, even before the dating apps. But if someone wants you, you shouldn't feel confused about it. You should have more than a crumb of a hint.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.