...You know, sometimes, men just miss the mark. By a lot.
Expect an overabundance of facepalms while reading the following entries.
Reddit user, u/Nermal666, wanted to know what men need to keep their ears open for when they asked:
Guys, what is the most obvious hint from a girl you've missed?
*facepalm
Her: " do you have a girlfriend"
me: "no" (just typing this hurts me she was super cute)
her: "lol really that's so suprising, I don't have a boyfriend"
me: "lol"
*nutty facepalm
GiphyA girl literally confessed her feelings directly to me and I didn't hear it cause I zoned out looking at a squirrel
*camping facepalm
I was fifteen or sixteen, camping with some friends, no parents. Met a girl, who said I could stay in her tent that night.
"No, that's ok, I already have a place to sleep"
*bathroom facepalm
When I was drunkenly flirting with a girl (I never flirt and I'm horrible with girls in general so didn't think I was getting anywhere) and asked her where the bathroom was. She said 'I'll show you' then came in with me and asked what I wanted to do.
Awfully confused I says 'well I want to have a piss, you'll have to leave'.
She said 'oh' and left
Took me about 6 months before I figured that one out
*last day of school facepalm
In 8th grade there was this blonde girl about as tall as I was. Everyday she asked for a hug from Me and I thought it was like how girls hug eachother in a friend way and that she didnt exactly see me as masculine.
Her friend told me on the last day that the girl really liked me the whole time and I just let out a loud "Ohhhhhhhhhhh" in the quiet classroom. I feel a little dumb now but now their conversation in the background made way more sense
*press play facepalm
A girl once burned me a mix CD of almost nothing but love songs. My guy friends and I held a small conference where we listened to the CD in full and tried to see if there was some hidden message there.
We came up with a solid maybe.
There were 6 of us debating this.
*cousin facepalm
I have always had a crush on this girl.
We started texting a bit fir a few months and she says "I love you". I did not reply back for two hours and she later says it was her cousin who texted. Even before she texted this she gave a lot of hints.
F-ck I still regret it
*daddy facepalm
I'mma just say. The "obvious hint" isn't a hint sometimes... I know because. Well. Mine wasn't
I met this girl in middle school and we hit it off right away. We talked all the time, we called, texted 24/7. She was cute and... honestly. Out of my league. In Highschool we had this stupid joke we started where she'd call me daddy all the time. People told me constantly after that, that she had a thing for me. I didn't think so. But people always pointed out how we hugged all the time and even held hands sometimes. So they told me to ask her out... and I did
She told me she only thinks of me as a friend, then stopped being my friend because "it's weird now"... yeah. I miss her sometimes but I honestly don't blame her. I shouldn't have said anything :(
*homework facepalm
She would stare at me constantly during class and we would even occasionally lock eyes. I just thought there was something interesting behind me even though there was only a plain wall behind me.
Then, once in Biology, we were allowed to sit next to whoever we wanted to. My best friend came over to sit next to me but couldn't because she had sat there. Then, my friend jokingly said, "Just because you want to sleep him doesn't mean you get to sit next to him instead of me."
She then replied, "I do actually." Meanwhile, my dumb self just sat there thinking about the homework I had forgotten to do. The whole lesson was filled with her 'accidentally' brushing my hand and her blushing afterwards.
Turns out, she wasn't joking and I completely missed it.
*too baked to facepalm
I was super baked hanging out with some friends, including these girls who were into me, and I asked where the bathroom was. One of the girls said she'd show me, and when we got to the bathroom, she asked if I needed any help.
I was too high to comprehend so I gave her a weird look and said "uh no..." and shut the door. As I was peeing I realized the mistake I made :(
*high school facepalm
I was in high school, and there was this girl that went out of her way to make sure I remembered her name (the orchestra and band rooms were right next to each other and she'd always come and talk to me and point out her name). After school, she'd be at my locker just waiting to talk with me.
I noticed that she would appear at my track and lacrosse practices/games. She'd also move any girls who were near me out of the way so she could constantly walk with me in the halls. I honestly thought nothing of it all.
I didn't see her until 15 years later. The day before I got married, I was driving through my hometown and saw her outside. I parked and spoke with her for a few minutes. She actually pointed out all of those things and boy did I feel stupid. She ended it all by saying that it sounds like I'm marrying a great girl and everything apparently does happen for a reason.
*texting fail facepalm
Her: Do you have girlfriend?
Me: Nope.
Her: Let me help you with that. *sends number*
Me: Thanks!
Idiot me at 18 (29 now) thought she meant I could call her whenever to have support in my loneliness. Really liked her too, so I'm still beating myself up for not getting the more than obvious hint.
*hey facepalm
She kept messaging me on facebook. Literally the start of our whole conversation was basically just her typing "hey" 50 times on 50 different days, sometimes interlaced with one word responses on my part. Her friends also kept asking what I thought about her, and I was still none the wiser.
*cheating facepalm
Yikes. I have so many of these. Here is one:
9th grade. We have seating arrangements that change every new term. I sit on the edge of a rectangular table and next to me sits a cute girl from orchestra class (We both played the violin). One day she tells me she always likes how she can talk to me. I don't know what to do so I mutter an awkward "yeah ok".
A few days later it is a new term and everybody changes seats. Everybody but me and Orchestra girl. I suspect something up so I ask her why we never moved. She gets all awkward and tells me that sitting next to me helps her grades and so she requested the teacher to keep us together. What do I do? Approach the teacher after class and tell her that I suspect Orchestra girl is cheating off of me. The teacher laughs at me and tells me not to worry.
It clicks. . . two years later. I still feel the shame.
*punch yourself in the face facepalm
So it's grade eight, were having a dance to celebrate us going to highschool. this girl I know asks me to find her a date, she says she wants a guy who's tall and has brown hair
"hmmm sounds like me"
aeveryone tells me she's trying to get me to ask her and I thought they were BS-ing me, tenth grade rolls around and apparently she had a huge crush on me...
I was punching myself for weeks afterwards.
*eventually gets it facepalm
Her: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No...no one would date me anyway.
Her: I'd date you.
Me: Thanks, but you don't need to pity me.
Her: I would date you
Me: Thanks but...
Her: Are you free on Saturday?
Me: Surprised Pikachu face
And we're going on two years in October
*happily ever after facepalm
Me posting on Facebook: "anyone wanna go hiking this weekend?"
Cute girl: "I'll go."
After a long hike and dinner, I still didn't know I was on a date until I was dropping her off. Seriously thought we were just hiking. We're married now.
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.