Today's word of the day is somniloquy, which refers to a parasomnia that refers to talking aloud while asleep.
We've all heard people say outlandish things while asleep –– chances are you might have done it yourself at least once or twice. I freely admit to sleepwalking a couple of times as a child and freaking my mother out.
We're sorry if you're looking for stories of people who said things that made them sound as if they were targeted for demonic possession. That's not what you'll find here, but we suspect you'll laugh nonetheless thanks to Redditor function158, who asked the online community, "What is the funniest thing you've ever heard a person say in their sleep?"
"I was studying abroad..."
I was studying abroad in Italy. My (also American) roommate rolled over and said "Yogurt, am I right?" I laughed and quietly said "Haha yeah buddy." He, in his sleep, replied "Hey, man, f*ck you." It was hilarious.
"My husband recently asked..."
My husband recently asked, "Did I just have a dream about breast cancer awareness?" Unaware that he was in fact still asleep, and wondering what the hell he was asking me that at 3am, I replied, "I dunno. Probably." Not that funny I guess, just so random we still laugh about it.
"When I was about 8 years old..."
GiphyWhen I was about 8 years old, I woke up and felt sick. Naturally, I went to my parent's room to wake my mom up. I tapped her and she sleep-mumbled, "Be quiet, the vegetables are still sleeping". For some reason, it freaked me the fuck out. I went back to my room and started crying haha.
"Before we got married..."
Before we got married, it was the middle of the night. I sat bolt upright, practically screamed, "BROTHER, HELP ME, IM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!" then slammed back down onto the bed, dead asleep. My now wife absolutely lost it laughing.
The funniest part of it all is I didn't even know it happened until she told me about it in the morning.
"My wife started giggling in her sleep..."
My wife started giggling in her sleep. I whispered to her, "What's so funny dearie?" She answered, "My sister is riding on a frisbee... It's a fun recipe." She quickly dozed back off.
"I remember at a sleepover..."
I remember at a sleepover, one kid shouted 'I SEE THE LIGHT!' and then sleepwalked into a wall. They were very confused as to what happened when they woke up.
technicaltrees
"My dad yells a lot in his sleep..."
My dad yells a lot in his sleep and said many a funny thing over the years. The best one I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing was:
"W W W DOT COM"
And when I say my dad yells in his sleep, I mean he YELLLLLLS. It was hilarious and still laugh about it to this day. The way he enunciated the Ws was just so good.
"In college I had a roommate..."
In college I had a roommate who would talk in his sleep occasionally. One time in the middle of the night he said "Tehvolcanic, Tehvolcanic I need to tell you something important." He sounded very earnest and I wasn't quite asleep yet so I said "Ok, what is it?" Suddenly he was shouting and yelled "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" and was silent for the rest of the night.
"I woke up one night..."
I woke up one night to my husband laying on his back with one arn sticking straight up in the air. He was dead asleep and I asked if he was ok. His response was "I like your bones."
"I have a history..."
"WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM, YOU WH*RE!"
Context, I was a senior in high school and my uncle was staying at our house for the weekend. His new wife, of about 6 months, was with him. To be courteous we let them stay in my room and I stayed in my brothers.
I have a history of outlandish sleep walking and talking. In the middle of the night I walked into my bedroom and started screaming at my new aunt calling her a wh*re. My mother came out and walked me back to bed.
Lucky, she has a great sense of humor and reminds me about it every time I see her.
Redditor gejiw94601 wanted to compare notes on how money can slip away so easily, so they asked:
"What's the biggest waste of money?"
Money is so easy to lose.
Just ask my best friend... vodka.
WHY?!
Idiot Facepalm GIFGiphy"Donating to rich Twitch streamers. I’ll probably never understand why people do it."
dring157
"I remember watching one guy drop $60k to Ninja. I was making 30k a year at the time, this guy drop double my salary in one stream."
IanFPS
Adulting
"Credit Card interest."
DweeblesX
"When I first go a credit card I used it only when I was short on cash, but it ended up me throwing money at stupid things because I knew I had a credit card to fall back on if I needed it."
"Now I use my card for the points, and I pay it off about every two weeks. While I'm still not great at adulting, at least I figured out this part."
boardmonkey
What about Florida?
"The $50 scratch-off lottery tickets you can buy in Iowa."
notthesedays
"I used to work for the VA lottery. I got to see the numbers, the payout was only about 20% (if that) of profit for scratch-offs. Slightly higher for the draw games. But print-n-play was almost 1-1 for payout vs profit. Don't know how it is now or how other state's payout margins are, but print-n-play is where it's at if you're gonna play anything."
DarthWeabu
Always Upgrade
adopt for sale GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Buying cheap crap you have to replace."
coinkeeper8
"My dad once told me to not spend excessive money on tools at first. Buy them for dirt cheap, and learn which tools you really need. And when they break: replace them with quality ones. Buying pro-grade stuff you don't need is wasted money."
.HarlequinSyndrom
Spending a little extra can go a long way.
Cheap doesn't often equal quality.
Flex
Costume Clothes GIF by Big Brother AustraliaGiphy"Buying ridiculously expensive clothes to flex."
PinkLemon4
"Clothes are a two-way issue. Good clothes last a long time and the price is worth it for the comfort on top of that. But some clothes are 100x the price and 1/10th the quality. So there is a fine line here."
Wdrussell1
Pay to Lose
"Pay to win games."
testthrowawayzz
"I played a lot of mobile games with in-game currencies. I have never spent a cent on these games. Why would I spend hundreds of dollars if I can enjoy the game and learn how to play even if it's slow? And many items don't even help you at the game. It's just skins or titles that only show other players how stupid you were to pay for a free app."
Pintermarc
And Silver?
"Gold Food, or more accurately food that is covered in something called gold leaf. In my eyes, food is worth buying if they provide a great amount of nutrition for considerably good prices. After all, you probably avoid paying 50 million dollars just to buy a few molecules that are useless to your health and needs."
"And then there's gold leaf food, sure the food looks fancy but at the cost of a ludicrous amount of money! And with the gold having no usable nutrients at all, it is just not worth it to buy such expensive food for a relatively small amount of nutrients."
"For instance, Industry Kitchen (hopefully that's the name of the place) in NYC serves a pizza with a gold leaf covering for a whopping price of $2000. While at my home country which is Indonesia, Domino's serves an American Classic Cheeseburger Pizza (IDK that's a thing) which is the most expensive pizza I could find on the website costs around $7 which is just baffling to me."
ScopeRicrit
Pretty Boom
"Fireworks, I love them, but it's like $50 per second for the good ones."
endisnigh-ish
"Yeah, I end up spending probably $300 each summer buying fountains and batteries and helicopters and cardboard tanks and sh*t--none of the big professional skyrockets. It's absurd, I'll be the first to admit."
"But it's fun!"
-RadarRanger-
Just Elope
"Weddings."
"Crazy expensive day. Guaranteed at least one relative will kick up a stink. Massive pressure to be The Happiest Day of Your Life. Everything doubles in cost if you say it's for a wedding (dress, suit, cake, venue) Just do the quick registry office paperwork, have a surprise party, and run away for a long honeymoon with the money you saved."
PinchAssault52
Roll of the Dice
Card Game Poker GIFGiphy"Gambling for sure."
snazyfragz
"I live in a small town where a casino is the big attraction They've had numerous people crap and pee themselves because they didn't wanna get up from the slots because 'it's just about to pay out.'"
11BREWER
Gambling is the greatest way to lose money.
Addiction will take everything if you let it.
