Today's word of the day is somniloquy, which refers to a parasomnia that refers to talking aloud while asleep.
We've all heard people say outlandish things while asleep –– chances are you might have done it yourself at least once or twice. I freely admit to sleepwalking a couple of times as a child and freaking my mother out.
We're sorry if you're looking for stories of people who said things that made them sound as if they were targeted for demonic possession. That's not what you'll find here, but we suspect you'll laugh nonetheless thanks to Redditor function158, who asked the online community, "What is the funniest thing you've ever heard a person say in their sleep?"
"I was studying abroad..."
I was studying abroad in Italy. My (also American) roommate rolled over and said "Yogurt, am I right?" I laughed and quietly said "Haha yeah buddy." He, in his sleep, replied "Hey, man, f*ck you." It was hilarious.
"My husband recently asked..."
My husband recently asked, "Did I just have a dream about breast cancer awareness?" Unaware that he was in fact still asleep, and wondering what the hell he was asking me that at 3am, I replied, "I dunno. Probably." Not that funny I guess, just so random we still laugh about it.
"When I was about 8 years old..."Giphy
When I was about 8 years old, I woke up and felt sick. Naturally, I went to my parent's room to wake my mom up. I tapped her and she sleep-mumbled, "Be quiet, the vegetables are still sleeping". For some reason, it freaked me the fuck out. I went back to my room and started crying haha.
"Before we got married..."
Before we got married, it was the middle of the night. I sat bolt upright, practically screamed, "BROTHER, HELP ME, IM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!" then slammed back down onto the bed, dead asleep. My now wife absolutely lost it laughing.
The funniest part of it all is I didn't even know it happened until she told me about it in the morning.
"My wife started giggling in her sleep..."
My wife started giggling in her sleep. I whispered to her, "What's so funny dearie?" She answered, "My sister is riding on a frisbee... It's a fun recipe." She quickly dozed back off.
"I remember at a sleepover..."
I remember at a sleepover, one kid shouted 'I SEE THE LIGHT!' and then sleepwalked into a wall. They were very confused as to what happened when they woke up.
"My dad yells a lot in his sleep..."
My dad yells a lot in his sleep and said many a funny thing over the years. The best one I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing was:
"W W W DOT COM"
And when I say my dad yells in his sleep, I mean he YELLLLLLS. It was hilarious and still laugh about it to this day. The way he enunciated the Ws was just so good.
"In college I had a roommate..."
In college I had a roommate who would talk in his sleep occasionally. One time in the middle of the night he said "Tehvolcanic, Tehvolcanic I need to tell you something important." He sounded very earnest and I wasn't quite asleep yet so I said "Ok, what is it?" Suddenly he was shouting and yelled "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" and was silent for the rest of the night.
"I woke up one night..."
I woke up one night to my husband laying on his back with one arn sticking straight up in the air. He was dead asleep and I asked if he was ok. His response was "I like your bones."
"I have a history..."
"WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM, YOU WH*RE!"
Context, I was a senior in high school and my uncle was staying at our house for the weekend. His new wife, of about 6 months, was with him. To be courteous we let them stay in my room and I stayed in my brothers.
I have a history of outlandish sleep walking and talking. In the middle of the night I walked into my bedroom and started screaming at my new aunt calling her a wh*re. My mother came out and walked me back to bed.
Lucky, she has a great sense of humor and reminds me about it every time I see her.