Food Fight Fanatics Reveal What Their Weapon Of Choice Would Be

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As an elementary school student, food fights are probably one of the most exciting prospects of lunch time. Just think, a massive all out war with food! What could be better? The only question is, what food would be best to use to win the battle?

sunlight_wings asks: If you were in a food fight (to the death), what would be your weapon of choice?


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Candy Canes sucked down 'til they're all pointy

A strategic demise

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Peanut butter shrimp balls. I'm banking on the food allergies.

Going for a hard impact

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One of those impossibly hard loaves of bread.

A great projectile

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This would make some burn victims

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Fondue. It's boiling cheese. I'd make some sort of amped up super soaker and spray molten cheese at anyone.

I hope your mother isn't reading this...

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My mom's homemade dinner rolls.

Built in sword

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The bill of a swordfish. Use it like a rapier.

That would hurt!

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Some foods need to be well thought out or you could get a quick backfire

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Not yet ripe avocados.


  • Perfect size for over hand hurling
  • Hard as hell


  • Durable and therefore subject to being used in return fire by an enemy combatant.

Straight up savage!

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Hot oil. I'm going medieval on your a**es.

That is going to burn and potentially disable the enemy

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Concentrated ghost pepper sauce.

That's a bold tactic

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Banana, I'll kill them with awkwardness as I initiate eye contact while slowly eating it.

There are no chickens here

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A 10 pound, frozen butterball turkey.

I might get tired swinging it--but--you could break ribs, take out knees, and crack skulls with one of those things.

Another great projectile

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If you don't know what they are - basically tubular shaped starchy vegetables

My strategy would be to throw them at people to knock them out.

A sugar shank

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You ever had sugar crystallized to look like glass? You could shank someone with that

Maybe for something to slow them down

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Flour. Toss is like glitter and watch people cough a lung up

The flaming disk

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A frozen pizza that just came out of the oven. The hottest material known to man

If you are taking their word for it...

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They're dangerously cheesy.

Go for the eyes

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Cayenne pepper. It's hard to fight if they can't see.

Tiny but deadly

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A shotgun filled with dried lentils

Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash

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