It's time for rich people games!
You know what I mean - that thing we all do where we daydream about what shenanigans we would get into if we had unlimited funds? This time, we're focusing on our homes... which seems extra poignant considering the housing crisis thousands of people are facing.
Reddit user "breathingsaveslives" asked:
What ridiculous features would you put in your house if you had a ridiculous amount of money?
It you were expecting things like a helicopter pad, a giftwrapping room, or a personal Starbucks ... well... keep reading.
Pizza Party
"An outdoor brick oven for pizza. Then I'd hold pizza parties, instead of grill outs." - flpacsnr
"You don't need a lot of money for a pizza oven. I put together the jankiest oven for free and it gets above 700 degrees!" - myshkiny
"Definitely! And inside the pizza oven you could have a rotating stone baking surface, so you can have multiple pizzas gradually cooking as the stone rotates. Take a cooked pizza out, shove an uncooked one in, and it'll be cooked by the time it finishes its 360°." - green_meklar
Splash Pad
"Swimming pool in the basement designed to look like a cave." - ilike7hournaps
"Complete with a waterfall that's fed by a river that flows through the house starting from a fountain in the lobby. Also, behind the waterfall is a bar" - BigSwedenMan
"We current have a pool - it's nice. It's a standard in-ground pool with a diving board and slide. If I had unlimited $ I'd rebuilt it into a kind of grotto with caves, waterfalls, bridges, fountains, etc. It'd be awesome!" - HouseRenovations
The Horror-Movie House
GIF by Archives of Ontario | Archives publiques de l'OntarioGiphy"A gigantic kitchen with plenty cabinets for all my things. It would include one of those industrial dishwashers that clean dishes super fast and easy. And appliances for whatever I want."
"Í would also get a nice, big dining-room for all the fancy dinner parties I would throw."
"My house would also have a garden with a lot of flowers, but not too much. I don't need bugs. I would have loads of flowers, and a raspberry bush. I would create a beautiful terrace to have tea on."
"As a kid, I sometimes visited this nice, old lady who lived in a big home. Her garden was amazing, with flowerbeds, and a terrace, and you could look at it from a balcony. All the way in the back was a wall, layered with raspberries."
"In the summer we were allowed to pick them, because this woman and her husband weren't gonna. Inside the house was kind of like a horror-movie: Confusing hallways, a dark attic, and a mysterious office. It was the ideal place for children to play hide and seek, and then finding a ghost or something." - ieatalot2004
Vacuum Walls
Vacuuming Freddie Mercury GIF by QueenGiphy"There are these hidden baseboard vacuums where all you do is sweep towards the gap at the baseboard and it vacuums up everything. Definitely I would have that in the kitchen, bathroom, and near both entry doors." - okcallmegoddess_
"This is real?!? I want vacuum walls!" - breathingsaveslives
"The maintenance is difficult, and I've yet to see one functioning as intended after 5 years without being completely rebuilt."
"It's such a lovely idea that I really wish was executed better." - TragedyPronFamilyVid
10 Seconds
Cat Chores GIFGiphy"I worked at a kitchen for a little while and they had this dish washer that you just slid the dirty dishes on a rack underneath it, pull down the handle and it jet washed them in 10 seconds." - [reddit]
"I mean in a restaurant those dishwashers are practical but why would you need it at home? How often are you going to need 30 plates cleaned in a minute and a half?" - MountainCandidate0
"Family of 4, eating 3 meals in a day is 12 freakin' plates, forks and approximately 30 toddler cups because they somehow vanish into a black hole."
"Every day is a full load of dishes in the dishwasher. Miss one load and the sink is too full to get sh*t done."
"Full load of dishes in 10 seconds? Hell yeah!" - ihaveabibledegree
Going On Tour
Water Bathing GIF by SalesforceGiphy"I'd want a bath on rails that takes me out of my bathroom and through a very slow tour of my pirvate and secluded garden while I wash." - Auserna
"I didn't know it, but now I want a toilet version of this" - ggrindelwald
Rich Friend
fish koi GIFGiphy"Had a rich friend. She had a large koi carp pond with stepping stones that you had to cross in order to reach the main bedroom."
"And then the door to the bedroom was some sort of round thing that you rolled aside to enter. Since seeing it I've always wanted exactly that." - pawnografik
Access
Design Architecture GIF by SavariaGiphy"An elevator for my disabled boyfriend." - goldenalpha207
"I came here to say "an elevator for my cat to go into the garden dowstairs", and now I feel bad." - lbpixels
Dungeon Master
Dungeons And Dragons Dnd GIF by Nerdist.comGiphy"I'd pay people to sit in a room all day and night. When I'm in the mood, they have to play dungeons and dragons or magic the gathering with me. They would live on my estate with up to 10 chosen friends or family, they would earn a nice salary."
"They would all have a copy of the Player's Handbook and I would have two butlers, Jeeves and Alfred, to bring me rulebooks upon demand."
"Jeeves would double as the rules lawyer. Got a question? Ask Jeeves." - chubbychaseryou
So what would YOU put in your dream home? Sound off in the comments.
Redditor wild-wolf-woman wanted to name the people we all may owe a few apologies to, so they asked:
"What famous person didn't deserve all the hate that they got?"
As a Madonna fan.
I'm livid with many people.
She didn't deserve any of the trash thrown at her.
Kevin
Screaming Macaulay Culkin GIF by Home AloneGiphy"Macaulay Culkin."
"For Redditors old enough to remember, the young Home Alone star got a bunch of hate for being a spoiled brat when he sued to divorce his parents."
"The truth of the matter is his father was a physically abusive a**hole, and his parents were going to take the $15-20M he earned from acting and leave Macaulay with nothing."
happy_snowy_owl
In Vienna
"Ignaz Philipp Semmelweis"
"He was a Hungarian physician and scientist, described as the 'savior of mothers.' He proposed the practice of washing hands with chlorinated lime solutions in 1847 while working in Vienna General Hospital's First Obstetrical Clinic, where doctors' wards had three times the mortality of midwive's wards."
"Some doctors were offended at the suggestion that they should wash their hands and mocked him for it. In 1865 he allegedly suffered a nervous breakdown and was committed to an asylum by his colleagues. In the asylum, he was beaten by the guards. He died 14 days later from a gangrenous wound on his right hand that may have been caused by the beating. His findings earned widespread acceptance only years after his death, when Louis Pasteur confirmed the germ theory."
SuvenPan
She Deserved Better
"Lindsey Lohan- overworked and used by her parents."
HRPurrfrockington
"Was looking through the comments to see if Lindsey Lohan would be mentioned. not to mention the disgusting behavior of the media and the public in regard to her addiction issues. that one David Letterman interview with her is almost unbearable to watch. she deserves a huge apology from the world."
clownteeth222
Good Guy
"Guy Fiere is in the same vein. His entire career is giving small businesses a national platform and boosting them up, hiring folks most others won't, and being a huge advocate for LGBTQ rights (including officiating gay weddings) but because his shirt is on fire and it looks like he got electrocuted by mountain dew that spun his glasses around, everybody is so mean to him."
A_giant_dog
"He also goes out to disaster areas and serves food to emergency workers. He was here in Santa Cruz County during the 2020 CZU Lightning Complex Fire serving free food. Genuinely cool guy."
adventureremily
Chill
f. murray abraham amadeus GIF by MauditGiphy"Salieri. Pretty chill dude. Mozart's biggest supporter. Lent him his librettist so he could write Figaro. Took care of Mozart's kid after he passed away."
veriverd
"That's a damn good movie, though. But it also does him dirty as well."
MajoraOfTime
That movie. That play. Those people.
The best and worst of drama.
Let her sing...
friday rebecca black GIFGiphy"Rebecca Black got death threats for her song Friday. It's just a song, an annoying one, but just a song guys."
EMdesigns
Shocking Truth
"Parents of Azaria were ridiculed and hounded by the press and the grieving mother's statement became a pop culture reference. They were accused of murdering their child. Many years later it was finally proven that a Dingo had, in fact, eaten their baby."
Stinkyminge123
"Lindy Chamberlain was, in fact, found guilty of murdering her child and sent to jail for a number of years. Her conviction was overturned, and it's now accepted that a dingo was responsible."
"However, jokes about it are still made. I can't imagine how awful it must be to have the world laugh for decades over your child's horrific death."
brownhedgehog
Blame it on the Rain
"Milli Vanilli. They were a late 80’s R&B duo who were 'exposed' for lip-syncing their music during a live performance on MTV. In reality, the two members Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus were capable singers and performers, but their record label didn’t allow them to sing on their records or during live performances. They had signed their record contract in German, a language neither of them spoke, and actively fought with the label behind the scenes to sing and perform their own songs."
"After being 'exposed,' they were forced to relinquish their Best New Artist Grammies, and their label toured the actual singers as 'The Real Milli Vanilli.' The media backlash was severe, and Rob Pilatus fell victim to addiction. He overdosed and died in the late 90’s."
"Rob could speak German. Most of this information is from a Fab Morvan interview, and when he said he couldn’t speak German, I wrongfully assumed neither of them could. My mistake."
HomePlastic
Poor Mama...
"Mama Cass Elliot."
"She was an absolutely beautiful, intensely powerful voice. But because she was... gasp fat, in the 60s-70s she was bullied relentlessly by the media."
"She died of heart failure and a random doctor said she 'could’ve died choking on a ham sandwich.' The media just dropped articles that that is how she died. If there is any reason for me to despise older generations it’s how they treated Mama Cass."
holyerthanthou
They Tried...
anakin skywalker GIFGiphy"Hayden Christensen, who played Anakin and the child actor of Anakin. They both got sooo much hate... and I still don't get why."
TheDudeOnHisRug
We really need to do better as a people.
So much judgement.
Redditor gaudiergash wanted to warn everyone about all the simple things that threaten our lives on the daily, so they asked:
"What are some everyday things that kill people because most don't know about it?"
Danger is all around.
Be alert!
Don't Forget
Warning Sign GIFGiphy"Carbon Monoxide is something everyone knows about but everyone also seems to forget about."
bottomless-bs
"Knew a girl from school, she and her family were all killed from carbon monoxide poisoning while staying at a cabin on New Year's weekend 2017. Her husband and two young kids. I still think about them going to bed, never to awaken."
hookersince06
Reach the Brain
"Poor dental hygiene and gum infections hit the brain fairly quickly and can be fatal before you even knew something was happening. So brush your teeth and talk to a dentist, most will try to work with you on the money side if you don't have insurance. If not try contacting a dental school near you, they are often looking for test subjects, I mean patients to work on for training."
SomeRandomUser00
"True stuff... this just killed my cousin."
FLAMES
"I know of a few things, all fire-related..."
"1. Pinched electrical wires - having, for example, a table leg or something on top of a wire creates a hot spot that can eventually start a fire."
"2. Toasters under cabinets - if you have a toaster on your countertop, and have cabinets mounted above that countertop, leaving the toaster directly under the cabinets while in use is also a fire hazard. be sure to pull it out from beneath the cabinets before use."
"3. Not sure if this one is still unknown by most people, but I'll add it just in case - water does not put out a grease fire, it makes it worse because the grease/oil is less dense and floats on top of the water and continues to burn, so pouring water on a grease fire is likely to just spread the grease and fire around. baking soda, a lid/cover of some kind, or of course a fire extinguisher will all smother the fire without spreading it around."
designer_sheets
In Defense
"Stress. Stress is a state when your body feels threatened and produces a hormone to defend yourself, which will typically boost your muscle and reduce to minimum other functions, like digestion, your kidneys, and overall all organs that aren't involved in fighting off a bear."
"If you're always stressed (Chronic stress), you will damage your organs. All of them. At once. Chronic stress is a poison, you must avoid it."
"Note that 'normal, episodic' stress like you're taking an exam today or you have 13 missed calls from mom isn't going to kill you. Well, not the stress at least."
Dahns
Drink Up
Season 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Once read about someone who died when they had the flu - they were medicating with over-the-counter cold and flu medicine and drinking multiple cups of lemsip, one after the other, not realizing lemsip also contained painkillers. they died of an overdose."
StrikeOk9626
I never knew the flu was so dangerous until COVID.
It only takes a sneeze.
The BIG Bullet!
Driving Action Movie GIF by James Bond 007Giphy"People are not nearly careful enough driving vehicles. you are operating a 2,000lb bullet, please stop texting and pay attention."
BigMoney5594
No Bleach
"Mixing cleaning supplies. Cleaners are usually dangerous chemicals, mixing certain chemicals can create dangerous gases. One of the common cleaner mistakes people make is dish soap and bleach, a lot of dish soaps have ammonia in them, and you don’t want to be around the gas that ammonia and chlorine make. Also, don’t clean your kitty litter with bleach, use chlorine-free disinfectants instead. Cat pee naturally has ammonia in it and can cause a reaction too."
SegaNaLeqa
Too High
"High blood pressure."
Ultimatelee
"High BP also presents as just a headache for some. I had preeclampsia and after the baby was born I kept getting these headaches, to be honest, they weren't that painful but I felt foggy and just, off. Come to find out my BP was so high I needed 3 rounds of magnesium to bring it back to normal."
deckpumps_n_deldos
Small Evils
"Bites from the wrong flea/mosquito/tick have been decimating mankind since forever."
Midas_Artflower
"If your tick bite gets a bullseye shape around it, go to the doctor, possible Lyme disease."
"If your spider bite gets raised and white, go to the doctor, possible necrotic lesions from recluse."
"Don't live in fear of these things and squash everything with crawly legs. Do some research (tons of bug info online free from many universities, tons of insect/spider/etc subreddits), and be smart. Wear tall socks in long grass and check yourself and your pets."
BirdsLikeSka
Red Puke
season 9 berries GIFGiphy"Elderberries are poisonous until you boil them. My mom works at a school where a teacher lets some kids eat them because she didn’t know they were poisonous. Red puke everywhere. I also had a friend post a picture on Facebook of her son eating them."
CoffeeCactus92
Why are berries so dangerous?
I love them. Darn it!
