Exhausted Zookeepers Reveal The Most Difficult Animals They Work With

Exhausted Zookeepers Reveal The Most Difficult Animals They Work With
[rebelmouse-image 18349005 is_animated_gif=As kids, many of us thought working in a zoo would be a dream job. And while people in the profession have a certain passion for it, it's still a job.
Reddit user AtariLynx asked "Zoo Workers of Reddit, which animal is the biggest jerk in your facility?"
Here's some insight into the life of a zookeeper.
Triggerfish
[rebelmouse-image 18349007 is_animated_gif=I used to work in an aquarium. By far the meanest fish there was the Queen Triggerfish. The divers who cleaned the shark tank had to start wearing hoods after she almost ripped one guy's ear off. After that incident we named her Tyson.
Chimpanzee
[rebelmouse-image 18349008 is_animated_gif=I'm the gardener at my local zoo and I learned pretty early on not to turn my back to the chimps while I'm working in the garden by their exhibit. The zookeepers give the chimps toys and various objects to play with and the youngest chimp has thrown most of it at me. She's thrown blankets, a pair of jeans, a rain boot, megabloks, dirt clods, a comb, sticks, rocks, bottles, poop, and once even a dead squirrel. She actually killed a squirrel that wandered into her enclosure and threw it at me. I've only ever been hit with a comb, thank goodness. I've dodged everything else she's thrown at me and once I even caught a megablok that she threw. She gets pissed when you catch what she throws. I'm not allowed to throw anything back because it would just encourage the behavior and I'd probably lose my job. I used to dread having to plant in that garden but I'm actually looking forward to going back in the spring and seeing that little jerk again.
Millipede
[rebelmouse-image 18349009 is_animated_gif=Worked at an aquarium which had a small terrestrials section where we did handling experiences. Giant millipedes are complete jerks! Working around salt water tanks meant your hands ended up very salty. If you hadn't washed every spec of salt off you these millipedes would chow down on you in seconds, sometimes drawing blood. I've still got a small mark on my hand from one big bite and of course we have to stay calm so not to scare the children from interacting with these animals.
Rhino
[rebelmouse-image 18349010 is_animated_gif=there was a rhino names Zeus. He was normally super chill and loved getting fed apples and slices of bread and scritches on the nose. Zeus LOVED water and he realized that he could use his horn as a shovel and dig a big pit at the edge of his enclosure and the nearby pond would flood it and he would have a little bath to play in. For whatever reason the zoo didn't like that so they had a digger come in and fill in Zeus' hole.
Anyhow, one day I finished cleaning his enclosure and he had this little kiddy pool in there so I was going to fill it up with water. I was standing on the outside of the enclosure (because rhino) and had a hose to fill his pool. He was watching me and as I started to fill the pool he came over to watch. As the pool started to fill, Zeus hooked his horn under the edge and flung the pool into the fence. It scared me senseless and water went everywhere. So I yelled at Zeus and he got all upset (believe it or not, rhinos are like dogs) and I reached in, flipped the pool over and started to fill it again.
Once again, as the pool started to fill, Zeus comes over and using his horn slams that into the fence. Now I'm really pissed and I reach my arm into the enclosure almost up to the shoulder to flip the pool but Zeus lunges for my arm and rakes his horn up the fence. I barely got out of there in time and landed on my a** in the dirt. Now I'm not mad, I'm worried. Because Zeus is never aggressive. So I go ask the keepers if they have ever seen this behavior before.
They start laughing and say "Oh yea, we forgot to tell you, he wants to play in the water from the hose. Let him do that for a bit and he'll let you fill the pool." Gee, thanks for that tid bit of late info.
So I go back and Zeus is standing there staring at me. I pick up the hose and aim it up in air and pull the trigger so it kind of rains on Zeus. I shit you not, this enormous Rhino starts to spin around and fling his head and dance. Like an excited dog. I'm standing there with my mouth hanging open because I have never seen anything like it. Once there was enough water to make some mud Zeus started rolling around and forgot all about the pool, which I was able to flip and fill.
Otters
[rebelmouse-image 18349011 is_animated_gif=Otters were kept with the wild pigs for some reason. They harassed the living sh*# out of those pigs. Pig would be minding its own business, trying to eat from a pile of food. Otters would circle around him, taking turns running up and pulling his tail and running away. Pig would turn around and try to charge one, but the otters were too quick and would just scatter. I waited a while to see if they would quit, or what would happen if the pig would get one, but they never stopped, and the pig never got one.
Geese
[rebelmouse-image 18349012 is_animated_gif=The geese are pure evil.
We have a gang of Canada geese that roam our village of roughy 2,000 people and terrorise the living hell out of anything not goose shaped. They're legitimately a menace. They chase people and wreck cars and honk at anything that comes near them. It was like some sort of gang. People used to hit them with cars every now and then because they'd charge into the road. It was a sad day when another goose terrorist went down. Live fearless, brave souls.
Lemur
[rebelmouse-image 18349013 is_animated_gif=I had a friend who worked at a wildlife rescue and he always had trouble with the lemurs. The male would get aggressive whenever he came in and he'd have to stamp his feet on the ground to run him off. One day he was bending over to pick something up and the male pounced on his head and turned into a flurry of teeth and claws. He got back to the office and his head was pouring blood. He grabbed a couple towels for the blood and went to the ER to get a tetanus shot. From that point on two people had to go into the lemur enclosure at a time.
Hippos
[rebelmouse-image 18349014 is_animated_gif=The hippos at our zoo will defecate on their tails and helicopter it all over people.
Parrots
[rebelmouse-image 18349015 is_animated_gif=Volunteered at wildlife rehab where the specialty was birds. The biggest a-holes where definitely Amazon parrots. I mean all Psittacines are jerks but Amazons have evil in them.
There was this one male who was huge and liked getting in fights and generally antagonizing the keepers. So once they were kept in separate cages because we were collecting feces samples and I go to change their food/water. Everything goes well until I get to his cage. He seems to notice that I wanted to take his stuff so he decides to sit his fat green self on the front of the door staring at me, you know the casual "touch this and you lose your fingers" look parrots have. So I manage to distract him and quickly scoop out his bowls. Change his food and water and get them inside the cages without any problems.
Except there was no support for his water bowl so it's on the cage floor, which is a grave mistake. He puts his foot on the edge of the bowl while staring at me with that empty look devoid of good only birds have and tips it over. And then laughs loudly because parrots think it's fun to mess with humans.
King Snake
[rebelmouse-image 18349016 is_animated_gif=I have been working in reptile farms over the years.
My jobs have various snake species that are large and bitey, but nothing venomous. While snake hooks are always around they are rarely used because after a while you just get used to being bitten and learn how to work with the animal and read its body language.
The exception to this was a single female Florida King Snake. She was permanently angry. It didn't matter if she had been fed, if she was breeding, if you were giving her water, or if you just walked past her cage, she was in a constant state of aggression. We did leave a snake hook by her cage because as soon as it was opened she would immediately start striking and hissing. After two or three strikes she would start getting even more angry and would start getting excessively posed, to the point where she would lean so far back she was practically upside down before striking. As soon as you closed the cage and walked away you could heard the thuds of her still striking and hitting the front.
Elephants
[rebelmouse-image 18349017 is_animated_gif=I was an intern at a zoo about ten years ago... Elephants are basically six ton toddlers. Three year-olds that can murder you during a tantrum... the one there would get upset if you didn't say good morning to her. She threw a rock at a night watchman for not saying hi, broke his ribs... She once shattered the windshield to the hay truck with a rock because it drove too fast past her enclosure. She threw a log at a keeper because they were cleaning up branches after a storm and didn't notice her trying to help and hand them one.... so she threw it at them. She got mad one day after her friend passed away from old age and tried to throw a keeper through the fence.... Basically, elephants are just hyper-emotional three year-olds with a mean streak...
Ravens
[rebelmouse-image 18349018 is_animated_gif=Ravens are too smart for their own good. They were always supplementing their food with popcorn or other snacks from zoo visitors. They would barter with the wild ravens for different foods, so you could never keep them on the diet they were supposed to be on. They also liked to play a game where they would corner the keeper. They'd hop around their perches while you cleaned, but if you weren't careful you'd end up cornered and have to walk underneath one of them. When you did, they'd try to poop on you...
Turkeys
[rebelmouse-image 18349019 is_animated_gif=The damn turkeys. I hated those f'ing turkeys.... Hated them. Turkeys are a-holes. Don't you ever feel bad for eating one because I guarantee he probably deserved it. And the president pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving? No. F' that. Kill it and eat that son of a b$#@ because he's probably plotting your death right now....
Monkeys
[rebelmouse-image 18349020 is_animated_gif=Monkeys definitely. A while ago we had a little Capuchin monkey who learned how to leave his enclosure and went at night to sip some whiskey from a nearby apartment. It happened for quite some time since he always returned back before we noticed. He was caught when he become to greedy and entered the kitchen to grab some snacks.
Lions
[rebelmouse-image 18349021 is_animated_gif=When I worked at Chester Zoo I was always so uncomfortable being near the lion enclosure on my own (especially early in the morning). Once I had to get there at 6am and I was the only one around, walked past the lions and couldn't see them, so I stepped a bit closer to try and get a better look, suddenly the large male leapt up from just inside the fence where he had been obstructed by some tall plants and he roared deafeningly loudly in my face. I nearly poo'd myself.
Goat
[rebelmouse-image 18349022 is_animated_gif=We had a Cretin Goat that was hand reared, so it was put in the children's petting zoo. As it got older it turned into more and more of a jerk. This goat started bullying the kids by gently approaching them until they it was close enough to be pet. It would put its head against the kids then try to push them over. But worse than that, is it really hated old ladies. It just straight up charged and rammed old ladies. After a few knock downs, it became apparent what a jerk it was.
We moved the goat to an off exhibit 3/4 acre enclosure on a hillside. I was doing some work in the enclosure with a coworker of mine before we found out about this particular goat. She stayed at the bottom of the hill to check out the animals while I was doing work up top. I looked down and she was hiding in the barn waving at me. I thought it was weird but just kept on working. Then, this goat comes up and starts pushing into me. I thought it was just being aggressive with wanting to be pet.
Nope.
Little shit was sure footed on that hillside, planting it and trying to push me over. I slipped a few times but it was more an annoyance at that point. What changed was when this goat started dropping his head in front of my thighs and jerking it up backwards, seemingly trying to impale me with its horns. I repeatedly had to grab its horn with one hand, while carrying my equipment in the other. Then it would scamper off and come back with another head push and attempted stabbing every 10 feet I made down the hillside.
When I met with my coworker at the bottom, she told me it got aggressive and charged her. She was waving to try and warn me. After that we mentioned the goat to the keeper. He laughed and proceeded to tell us several stories about what a jerk this goat was.
I'll always remember that goat.
Terns
[rebelmouse-image 18349023 is_animated_gif=I did marine wildlife and birding tours. Every spring when the Orcas came north into our bay they'd come up to the boat to check it out and say hi. They'd rub up against the boat and swim around. We'd let kids touch their fins, they were quite docile. The only animal we were EVER attacked by was Arctic Terns.
Terns are really small for seabirds but they are jerks. They are so aggressive because, for who knows why, they build their nests on the ground rather than in trees. There are trees around, they could use the trees to build nests in. But no, they'd rather just terrorize anyone who makes the mistake of coming near their nest. Foxes, weasels, people, bears, whatever. Terns will attack you.
One day we were watching an Arctic Tern chasing an eagle around at least a mile off shore. A tourist on our boat was trying to capture it with a telephoto lens, and the tern didn't like this guy's attitude so it tried to peck a $2000 lens to pieces.
Chickadees
[rebelmouse-image 18349024 is_animated_gif=Have worked in various wildlife rehab/research facilities, including a bird sanctuary where we did mist-netting (setting up very fine nets between trees to catch songbirds) and banding of wild birds for research/population counts. Handled everything from thrushes to woodpeckers to crows to sparrows...and the biggest jerks?
F'ing CHICKADEES.
Most of the birds were scared or curious when we took them out of the nets. The chickadees? Were f'ing pissed. There was something bizarrely respectable about it. Here I am holding a bird smaller than the palm of my hand whose head I could crush with my f'ing thumb, and it's going, "You may be bigger than me but if you don't let me go I will rip your f'ing cuticle off."
Bats
[rebelmouse-image 18349026 is_animated_gif=Right now it's the short tailed leaf nosed fruit bat.
I'm an intern in a well known zoo. We have a wet cave filled with probably 1,000 of these f'ers. The door is surrounded by a wire cage. When we go to feed them we just let the door open and let the bats fly in the cage. When we leave we have to heard them into the cave. As an intern I'm not allowed to touch them. So I put my hand up by them to guide them.
Except they don't like that and they'll fly right in my face and hover there for a few minutes.
One day I was by myself doing it and one of the little f'ers would not get in the damn cave. I stood there for like 10 minutes doing jazz fingers and he just hung there.
Jerk.
Swans
[rebelmouse-image 18349027 is_animated_gif=Swans are pure devil spawn.
They want to kill anything that moves near them. Sweet harmless baby ducks born on the pond? Initiate murder instinct. Man who feeds me and cleans my awful poop everyday? Start up the murder protocol.
Even the dumbest of invertebrates knew that we fed them and would be kinder. Swans see you bringing them food from across the park and are furious that "YOU STOLE MY FOOD I NEVER HAD AND PUT IT IN THAT BUCKET YOU'RE BRINGING TOWARD ME AND I AM GOING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THIS GROUNDHOG NEAR ME BECAUSE OF IT, AND THEN TRY TO MURDER YOU."
Swans are the worst.
Zebras
[rebelmouse-image 18349028 is_animated_gif=Zebras are jerks. Our zebras shared an exhibit with the giraffes. We had a giraffe platform where visitors could feed the giraffes carrots, grain, and other goodies (according to the giraffe diet, of course). The zebras wanted the goodies and would kick the giraffes so the giraffes would drop their food, then the zebras would eat it.
Octopus
[rebelmouse-image 18349029 is_animated_gif=THIS ONE F'ING OCTOPUS.
I was volunteering at an aquarium in the cephalopod section. One day the power was out, so we were on backup generators and we were running all over to make sure everything necessary to keep the animals alive was still running. The tanks where we kept the giant pacific octopuses (these octopuses are about 8 or 9 feet across) didn't have a solid top to close it up - instead the top portion of the tank is covered by astroturf. Octopus suckers can't work on astroturf, so they can't climb out. In theory.
This b*%# jams herself into the water outtake in her tank while no one is paying attention. Water keeps going in, but none can get out. She makes a f'ing waterfall out of the tank and tries to ride it to freedom. We caught her just after she flopped onto the floor.
They're just too f'ing smart.
Wallaby
[rebelmouse-image 18349030 is_animated_gif=A hand-raised wallaby named Wallace Montgomery. He was hand-raised (translation: f'ing psycho) and then given to us when he became a wee bit overwhelming for his previous caretaker.
Feeding time? Prepare to be be gouged by his razor sharp nails, bit on your softest parts, and the bowl WILL be knocked out of your hands.
Cleaning time? He will grab your rake and shovel, hit you with them, and kick you when you bend down to pick up your stuff.
Trying to give him fresh straw to sleep on? Nope. He shredded the bag it came in. He kicked the fresh straw into the yard. He picked up the dirty pissy straw and rubbed it all over you.
I love him immensely. Fun fact: if you pick him up mid-tantrum, he will lay his head on your shoulder and give you three solid minutes of snuggles before recommencing your attempted murder.
Cassowary
[rebelmouse-image 18349031 is_animated_gif=Cassowary. If anyone need to into their enclosure there had to be two others in riot gear. Nothing makes you poop yourself more than scrambling behind the shields and hearing the karate kick of the gods smashing a shield behind you.
I'm 100% certain velociraptors still exist and they just pretend to be these a-holes when they lose their teeth.
Tortoises
[rebelmouse-image 18349032 is_animated_gif=Aldabra tortoises. They have an outdoor pen, but obviously they are stuck in a smaller indoor enclosure during the colder months.
They won't leave you the f- alone. I was watering the plants at one point, when two big males came up behind me and pinned me to the wall. I pinwheeled my arms and fell onto one's back...sort of got to ride him.
Other times, the decide to sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. So you're stuck until you convince them to move. You certainly aren't going to move 500 pounds of tortoise on your own.
If you put a squeegee against the wall, the simply HAVE to knock it over and sit on it.
Got the hose out? Yup. Gotta sit on it.
Bringing out food? Sit right in the f'ing feed troughs.
When you've been alive since before the Civil War, you tend to sit a lot.
Galapagos Tortoises. There's a teaching zoo near where I live, and a few years back they had to evacuate due to a wildfire. Afterwards the local paper did a piece on it and interviewed the people who had to evacuate the animals. They have lions, water buffalo, cougars, hyenas, all kinds of large animals. Which was the hardest to evacuate?
The Galapagos tortoise. He is enormous, bad-tempered, and much more difficult to train than most of the other animals. Getting him out of his enclosure and onto a truck was apparently quite the challenge, especially given the short time-frame they had for evacuation.
That Galapagos Tortoise was like, "F- you. I knew Charles Darwin. Charles Darwin was a friend of mine. You, zookeeper, are no Charles Darwin."
Honey Badger
[rebelmouse-image 18349033 is_animated_gif=A popular wildlife rehabilitation centre in South Africa called Moholoholo has arguably the world's most famous honey badger, called Stoffel. Now I am sure none of you need an introduction to how f'ing savage these animals are, but this particular b&#%* has actually featured on multiple TV shows because of his antics.
In the first few years of his life at the centre, he dug his way into the Lion enclosure TWICE and attacked the alpha male of the pride both times.So the Honey Badger actually has this incredible survival mechanism - their skin is really tough and really loose. When the lion clamped his jaws around Stoffel, he was actually able to rotate his skeleton within the skin and turn around to bite the lion on the nose. After the lion dropped him, Stoffel continued to terrorize the pride but none of them wanted to be anywhere near him. I think eventually they had to tranquilize him so they could treat his wounds.
When he kept digging his way under the wall of his enclosure, it had to be rebuilt 2 metres deeper into the soil. When he opened up cracks in the concrete and escaped, those had to be covered with metal sheet. When he used rocks/sticks to create a tower and climb over the wall, they removed them... only for him to steal a zookeeper's broom and climb out using that.
(Rehab centre worker) Brian said he woke up to Stoffel scraping at the door, so he grabbed a 10,000 Volt stun gun from his cupboard and zapped the honey badger with it... Stoffel didn't move. Didn't even flinch. Brian says he just got angrier and started growling. He had to climb out of the window and lock all the doors while they formulated a plan to contain this b&#%*.
I know many more stories of his antics, but my favourite is how after years of living on his own they decided to find him a female companion to join him in the enclosure. First thing Stoffel did?
Stood on her head and used her to climb over the wall.
There are just some things in life that are not necessary knowledge.
Maybe we always hold out that tiny bit of hope we will one day be on Jeopardy... because you never know.
It's the creepy facts about life that leave me wondering and reeling.
RedditorsPanzer_ace_8wanted to compare notes on the things we're aware of that maybe we wish we could forget. They asked:
"What’s a disturbing fact you know?"
I mostly know disturbing facts about serial killers. As if that isn't enough. This should be fun.
Rest Well
"The skin mites that live on your cheeks come to the surface at night to find mates and do the deed. Sleep well."
Hullaba-Loo
Cannibals
"If you were to eat another adult human being, it would be approximately 125,822 calories. I went down a rabbit hole on Google and yeah."
ItsmeTrev
"How come it's almost 126K?"
Blablabblue
"Math. Average human is say 70 kg, has 20% bodyfat, so 14kg of fat. Fat has 9kcal per gram, which makes it. 126,000kcal. Math never lies! But I do make plenty of mistakes. Probably it's more complicated - but directionally seems legit."
NekkidApe
Decay
"Within three days of death, the enzymes from your digestive system begin to digest your body."
floopowdertravels
"I guess it’s reassuring to know your body decays before bugs can even get a shot to help your body decay, sort of like a medical death except your body willingly does it for you instead of doctors."
Standard_Zero_3152
People on Earth
"If you are 25 years old, approximately 1/3 of the entire world's population that existed at your birth, have since died."
ColSurge
How do people just stumble upon this sort of info? Y'all must read.
Gotcha
"Some species of shark will 'waddle' onto land in order to catch more prey."
CARMBLOVER
War
"During World War 2, Japan bombed China with fleas infected with the bubonic plague."
XoGossipgoat94
"Man they were just straight attempting to kill as many civilians of possible with that one."
JesseAster
"This is why a large portion of Chinese loathe the Japanese."
dicker_machs
Crush
"It's believed the USS Thresher or USS Scorpion (don't remember which one) took around 20 minutes to go to crush depth in it's free fall."
Jigsaw_isnt_a_puppet
"My Uni mate is a navy submariner and he said that if a problem isn’t your department you just ignore it, because ultimately it either gets fixed or you die, neither of which are scenarios you can do anything about. Him and a friend were playing Fifa in their bunk when the whole sub tipped to 45 degrees. They just kept playing at 45 degrees… it got fixed eventually but they’re reactor crew so nothing they could do to help either way."
FreegardeAndHisSwans
"body farms"
"There are places called 'body farms' were scientists and researchers look at the decomposition process of human remains in different circumstances. Basically a big area somewhere outside were human, sometimes pig corpses are laid out to be exposed to the natural elements or they're even enclosed somewhere (like the trunk of a car). They're actually important e.g. for forensic anthropology to help solve crimes. And you can donate your body for research after you die!"
ThisMessOfMe
Miles Long
"Your body makes blood vessels of about 7 miles in length for every pound of fat you gain. This in turn strains your heart as it has to work harder to pump blood through the new network of blood vessels."
macaronsforeveryone
Well there are things I never needed to know. But now we do.
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Hitchhiking. It has to be one of the most dangerous things a person can do.
There are too many movies where a hitchhiker falls victim to some psycho, and they're shocked it's happening.
Like... Hello?!?! You got into some stranger's car. How could you not get killed?
Also, all throughout childhood years we tell kids to NEVER get into a stranger's car.
But once we're 18 that rule seems to no longer apply.
I feel like it should be MORE prescient in adulthood.
But I'm sure all the survivors have quite the tale to share.
RedditorWestTexasOilmanwanted all of the road travelers to share some memories about past rides. They asked:
"Current or Former Hitchhikers of Reddit; What person that stopped or gave you a ride was the most memorable? Why?"
I just don't have the trust in humans that some of y'all do. How do you get into a stranger's car? Oh no...
Among the Horses
"So a few years ago I was working in a small resort in the French Alps for the ski season."
"About 15-20 of us all worked in a hotel in one valley, the only bar that stayed open past 11 was in a different valley, it was a pretty flat and straight road to it but a good 15 minute drive or hour walk. We would regularly split up into smaller groups to try and hitchhike cause ain't no one stopping for 15 people with their thumbs out."
"Well one time we couldn't be bothered to split up and we just decided to do the walk and not worry. We decided to chance it anyways and stuck our thumbs at to every car that went by, got a lot of honks, shouts etc, all fun and games until one guy stops with a horse trailer."
"He asks where we're going and we say where and he says hop in. Que 4 of us in his truck, 4 in the bed of the truck and the rest in the horse trailer next to this guys horse."
HAZZ3R1
I'm Innocent
"Got picked up in Queensland Australia and after a few quite pleasant hours the driver started freaking out as we came to a police checkpoint. Turns out my new friend had broken out of jail and had stolen the car. I got stuck at Bowen cop shop until I could prove my innocence."
--bedevil--
"not far!"
"I accidentally picked up a hitchhiker once. I was at a red light at the transition between a village and town road (no more sidewalk, road gets busier and a bit more dangerous to walk). A man walked up to my window from the sidewalk and waved like he was going to tell me something (I assume tell me I had a flat tire or something about my car)."
"I rolled down my window and he mumbled something with a smile, and when I motioned that I couldn't understand him, he just nodded happily, grabbed my door handle and got in my car. Once he was in, it was clear that he spoke little to no English (he was Asian, about 25-30 years old, and very polite)."
"He motioned that he appreciated the ride and I asked how far. He understood and said 'not far!' I told him I was only going home which was a mile down the road and that's as far as I could take him. He nodded politely but I'm not sure he understood."
"I drove the mile down the road, and right in front of my neighborhood was a Blockbuster. He motioned to the Blockbuster and said, 'Here, here!' I asked if he was sure and he nodded, thanked me profusely with gestures and bowing with his hands together. I waved and drove off. To this day I've never seen him again and it remains a strange encounter for sure."
User deleted
zest for adventure...
"I have only ever hitchhiked twice in my life, and both times, a ruinous hike was involved lol. In this story, I was left behind by the shuttle because it took me longer to complete the mountain traverse. I was in the middle of nowhere, it was getting dark quickly, and my phone wasn't working."
"An old couple in their 60s, whom I had been chatting with on and off on the trail, noticed my agitation and asked if I was okay. I told them the bus had left me behind and I had no way of getting back to my lodge, which was 30 kilometres away. They offered me a ride even though it was out of their way."
"We got to talking during the drive. I told them that the hike was a first for me as I wanted to do something memorable for my birthday; they joked that maybe I should stick to dinner and movies next time. As for my good Samaritans, they had been travelling the world to celebrate their recent retirement."
"Prior to doing the trek, they had just completed a cross-country motorcycle trip with their son. I was awestruck by their kindness and generosity, their obvious zest for adventure, and the fact that they were still so, so smitten with each other after all these years."
gagagamgee
"you like hasish?"
"Hitchhiking in Israel with my partner in the 90s. We were picked up by these Palestinian brothers."
"After a bit of chit chat the one in the passenger seat says 'you like hasish?' Pulls out a big joint which we all smoked. He then says 'my brother, he's a cop,' then pulls out his glock and starts waving it around. 'It's all good' he says. We had a good chat, many laughs and after half an hour they dropped us off. We realized we were only about 100 metres further down the road from where we were picked up."
theotherbruce
How have so many of you survived this long? Luck.
In Scotland
"About six years ago I was hitchhiking in Scotland, heading north to do some wild camping."
"My second ride, I got picked up by a Scottish guy, I could barely understand what he was saying because of the accent. He was heading into Glencoe to climb a hill and camp at the top, so I joined him. Long story short I now live in Scotland, we've been married for 4 years, and I now understand 99% of what he says."
Affectionate-Rub-936
Maine
"My most memorable ride was also my shortest. A guy pulled over in the middle of nowhere Maine. He said our path's would diverge just over the bridge but he'd give us a ride anyway. So we got in for the 100 foot ride. After we got out, he leaned over to the open passenger side window and said in a gravelly voice, 'Life does not give a rat's @ss who lives it.' And he drove off."
valleymountain
The Racoon
"I once picked up a guy wearing a black leather trench coat in 100 degree weather. He was young and friendly, made good conversation, but he absolutely reeked. Finally I couldn't really stand it and was like, 'Man, I'm sorry, but I gotta tell you that you f**king stink.' And he goes, 'Oh haha yeah, it's probably my racoon,' then he opens his jacket and he has a freaking racoon pelt tacked to a piece of cardboard."
maselsy
The Blizzard
"Memorable more for the reason I was hitchhiking. I had driven a few hours away from where I live and payed my last past penny to get training for my desired career. I barely had enough money to attend, and couldn't afford a hotel, so I packed a sleeping bag, and everything I needed to sleep in the back of my van at the training center."
"It was mid spring and was supposed to be pretty warm in the day, and a tad nippy at night, but we ended up having a freak blizzard. The Van was absolutely freezing so I decided to turn it on to keep warm and hope I didn't use too much gas. As it turned out my battery had died in the cold and I had a 2-hour walk, in a blizzard, to get in to town to try and get help."
"By some miracle I spotted a truck about an hour in. The driver had arrived too early to drop off his load, and decided to park on this empty dirt road to rest for the night. He ended up giving me some food, and jumping my car. I managed to stay warm the rest of the night, and get home after the last of the training."
"Definitely one of the scariest moments of my life, because I don't think I would have made it town with all my toes if I'd had to walk another hour."
Vypernorad
This is nice...
"Not a naughty story, sorry... but I got a lift once while hitching during my army days. Hopped into the car, slightly distracted. Noticed wood panelling, leather seats, etc. That bonnet going on for 2km in front of the car. Turned out to be a vintage Rolls-Royce."
Namibbat2
This is why I fly. Y'all are crazy.
There are many people who are seen as role models, but that doesn't mean those who inspire others can cause mischief.
And while some bad choices warrant reprimanding, there are other instances where yelling is not really necessary.
Curious to hear examples in which people were berated for inconsequential reasons, Redditor Ratzink asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you've ever been yelled at for?"

Students being disciplined at school is expected. However, there are exceptions.
No Phone Zone
"I was in 8th grade waiting to be picked up from school. I didn't see my mother after awhile, so I got my cell phone out (it was a nokia block phone) and was about to call her to see if she parked somewhere."
"This older woman came over and got in my face. She yelled at me to put my phone away or she would confiscate it, and if I had to make a call, I would have to cross the street and do it."
"A really congested street full of cars with no crosswalk nearby; I would have to leave the pickup zone by myself."
– SarahTheJuneBug
"It was WELL past 3 pm (school was out and I was not breaking any rules) and this hag got pissed by just seeing a block phone that barely did anything beyond calls. I just put my phone away and waited for her to leave."
"Thankfully, Mom showed up not long after that. She was angry when I told her what that lady said. She told me she was a b*tch and that I did nothing wrong, and added that if anyone actually ever confiscated my phone for trying to get in contact with her after school was over that she'd deal with it for me. I also asked a teacher about it the following day; she was just as baffled as I was and agreed I wasn't breaking any rules."
– SarahTheJuneBug
Bitter About The Funeral
"I told my Math teacher I was leaving class in 15 mins to go to a funeral, my friend had just died."
"She said no, and I was like 'thats fine, but I'm still going... its my friends funeral.'"
"And then her face went so red and she shouted in front of the class 'I watched my mother and father die right in front of me, what makes you so special.'"
"I was like woah. The whole class was like woah. The teacher must have been having a bad day but she screamed so loud, and her parents dying was not relevant to me going to a funeral. Was super weird."
– [deleted]
Playing With Food
"I once measured a Fruit by the Foot with a ruler when I was in third grade. Lunch lady accused me of playing with my food and I got in trouble. I genuinely really wanted to just measure it to see if it was actually three feet long."
– TheRealOcsiban
Looking For A Place To Sit
"In 5th grade, I got sent to the principal's office for the first time. I asked the secretary where I could sit and I immediately got scolded, telling me I'm wasting her time for even asking her that question. She even brought the principal over and told me to repeat my question just to further lecture me on how stupid of a question it was and how much it wasted her time. Yea."
– MrJerhomie
People got all in a tizzy with these work-related issues.
The Deal Breaker
"I was dating this girl. She had been looking for jobs for a while with no luck, and I was looking too. My friend offered to pass my resume to their boss for a job in my field after they got one that paid better. I ended up interviewing, then getting the job."
"The first thing that happened after I told the ex was her she yelling at me for getting the job. 'Why did I have to accept a job?' 'Why did you have to take the easy route by getting a job through a friend?' 'Why did you have to apply there?' 'You lied because you didn't want to work with friend.'"
"And no the relationship didn't last much longer after that."
– Responsible_Yak832
Mad Customer
"My absolute favorite: I was working at a bakery, helping out a dude who I could tell was about two seconds away from losing his entire sh*t."
"Nothing due to anything I or the bread were doing; he looked to just be having one of those days and was only barely keeping it contained. After handling the entire interaction like a ticking explosive, I finally ring him out, hand him his stuff, and offer the customer service standard, 'Have a nice day!'"
Which was apparently the thing that sent him over, as he spat out, 'I will NOT!"' spun on his heels, and stomped away like a petulant toddler."
– mus_maximus
People need to be clear about who did what before accusations fly.
Who Hit Who?
"When I was 11, my mother started yelling at me for hitting my 5yo brother. That's understandable, if I had hit him. He had hit me. Literally walked up to me, slapped me in the face, and ran away laughing. Turns out he had run to our mom after fake crying and told her that I hit him. She thought I was lying about it until she realised he had started laughing."
– Hot_Interaction7245
Mistaken For A Menace
"On my local summer swim team when I was maybe 8 years old I had the same first name as some other kid who was a total menace. He’d splash water in girls’ faces and pull on their bathing suits thinking it was flirting, etc."
"One day at practice we’re all hanging out on the edge of the pool and I’m talking to my buddy, and there’s a girl on the other side of me. Suddenly her mom, let’s call her Karen, comes rushing over and says 'HEY! WHAT’S YOUR NAME?' I’m confused and look around me to see if she’s talking to someone else and she says 'YEA YOU!' So I say 'uuuuh… {my name}. Why?'”
"She then grabs my arm yanking me halfway out of the pool and starts yelling at me and I don’t really remember what all she said but it was some mix of 'YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER' (the girl who happened to be next to me) and 'WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS??' all while spitting as she yelled."
"And I was just a terrified, confused kid who’d been assaulted for no reason by this crazy lady and was trying to ask what she was talking about, who her daughter was, what I had apparently accidentally done, but she wouldn’t let me get a word in."
"Finally her daughter got her attention yelling 'Mom… MOM… MOM!!'”
“WHAT!?!”
“That’s the wrong boy…”
"She dropped me pretty quickly and looked super embarrassed but was probably still just red from yelling. She gave me a quick 'oh sorry' and just walked away."
"When I got picked up and my mom asked how practice was I just said 'fine… some crazy lady yelled at me but it was a mistake.' My mom looked confused, took me home, and that was it."
– DunderMifflinPaper
Embarrassingly, I was the idiot who yelled at someone for a stupid reason.
Years ago, I felt water sprinkles periodically hit my face while watching Jurassic Park in a packed movie theater.
I may have imagined it but I thought I heard giggling following every splash of water I felt. I was so convinced some kid had a water gun and was targeting me throughout the movie.
During the climactic T-Rex scene–where the tension is amplified without a score to accompany the encounter–I snapped and filled the silence with my wrath.
"Knock it off!" I yelled behind me, generally addressing the audience.
The kid sitting next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear, "It's the ceiling. It's leaking from the bad AC unit."
As soon as the credits started rolling I bee-lined it out of there before anyone could match the face to the temperamental, but very daft, moviegoer.
Let's put this up front: the United States of America is not the greatest country in the world.
It's just a fact. We're not tops in the world in education, our maternity leave for new mothers pales in comparison to most European countries, which is to say nothing of our healthcare as a whole, and our average income per household?
8th. Last we checked, that's not 1st.
It's not all doom and gloom though. There are still a lot of things to love about the good ol' U. S. of A. And if you love something, you fight for it, to make it better, and truly try to achieve the ranking of "best."
Reddit user, kake92, wanted to know what the U.S.A. actually gets right when they asked:
"Americans, what thing do you appreciate the most about America (USA)?"
Not everything that makes the U.S.A. great is honorable or noble.
Sometimes, it's just funny.
Too Much, Then Dial It Back
"Drink refills at restaurants."
MisterMorgan1206
"You get ice! And you get ice! And you get ice!"
PrisonerV
"yes, and most of the time way too much! Europeans complain that we are obsessed with ice. This might appear to be true, but im more comfortable asking for less ice in the US than for ice at all in Europe."
MisterMorgan1206
I May Not Agree With What You're Doing, But...
"we can have all sorts of outlets that mock people in positions of authority and dont get sent to labor camps or prison"
"hell we can burn our own flag"
"pretty gud I think"
King-Grey
"I think people who burn our flag are sh-theads, but I'll defend their right to do so to the death, and that's a fact. I don't always love what I hear from "free speech" but I love that it's free. For now, anyhow.."
LittleArkansas
You know what we have a lot here? Land!
There's a lot of land and a lot of land to see, so why not take a trip this summer and get lost in the wilderness of your imagination.
This is starting to sound like a travel ad.
The Most Gorgeous Vacation You Haven't Taken
"National Parks"
Ezzy17
"Sounds braggy, but I work for the National Park Service and it's the best job I've ever had in my career. I don't think I ever want to leave. Plus, paid trips to all the parks and getting to see things "off the beaten path" that normal visitors just can't get to. I love it and I love our parks."
clyde2003
Not As Crowded As You Might Think
"Wide open spaces can still be found here. I don't like most people, and I frequently need to get away from them."
salthecrawfish
"I grew up in rural Idaho and the wide open spaces are truly amazing. I live in the city now, but still look for any opportunity to get away. My wife is from back east and she thought she knew what the "middle of nowhere" was like until I took her to my grandparent's ranch. The nearest neighbor is five miles away. The nearest "town" is 30 miles away. She didn't realize how much nothing there was in the Western-half of the US."
clyde2003
And We've Got The Disaster Movies To Prove It!
"We've got all the weather. You want hot and humid? We have it! You want frigid? We have it! You want all the weather within 24 hours? We definitely have it!"
"Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes (not weather, I know), lightning? We've got it all!"
CitizenCobalt
Location, Location, Location
"This is going to sound really dark but with all the talk of war recently…especially with the Russian invasion of Ukraine, I appreciate how far we are from all the other major powers."
"Yes, they can always send missiles but any land invasion is very difficult to achieve. China and Russia would have to put in major effort if they were going to try to invade America….."
OSUfirebird18
Maybe we're not the "greatest country in the world," but we should all be doing everything we can, every day, to make that come true.
Go Do What You Want
"Answering this as a serial expat that has spent at this point 25% of my life overseas and has lived in multiple countries."
"Few places on Earth embrace the "go do what you want" mentality like America. You want to be a wiccan priestess that lives in a yurt in the Cascade mountains? You want to be a rancher in Utah?"
"You want to live your dream of opening a cupcake store for pets? No matter what you do there is a community of people cheering you on in America and that is a very rare and very cool thing."
RootlessNumbers
Mostly, We're Alright
"I have lived in lots of other countries, but I am from the US. I have a few things to point out."
"The roads are generally nice. Smooth, without huge potholes. I am generally talking about the highways."
"Cleanliness. I have been to places with mountains of trash 6 feet high. Another related thing is that the US has very few stray dogs, and that keeps things overall cleaner."
"The last thing is kind of hard to explain, but I would say the sense of order. Everything is structured, and I kinda like it. The places I have lived, people are just not raised with the mindset that everything should be standardized."
"It really grinds my gears when people talk about how bad the U.S. is. It does have its problems. So does every country. When people go on and on about how bad the US is, I try to put it in to perspective how much worse it can be. My house almost got burned down because the government removed the gas subsidies (which after having them for 2 decades, were bankrupting the government) and people were afraid that the transportation system would shut down. I doubt many people who complain about the US have experienced that."
Mawd14
We're Trying To Get Better, A Little, Every Day
"Having lived outside of the US, I have some perspectives that differ from the norm."
"I’m gonna say some stuff that is gonna make Americans and foreigners alike scratch their heads but I’m hoping some people will know what I’m talking about."
"I truly and wholeheartedly believe that America is the least xenophobic place on the planet."
"I think that xenophobia is so deeply ingrained and normalized the world over that people genuinely do not recognize it in themselves. People will engage in the most hateful xenophobic behavior that I’ve ever seen and then say with a straight face that they are afraid of moving to America because of xenophobia."
"I think that people think America is xenophobic because America’s xenophobia is highlighted, fought, and condemned in ways that no other nation’s is."
"This is because of the second thing that I love about America."
"America is the most diverse nation in the world."
"More than half of our population is people of color, and those people of color are made up of American Black people, North Africans, Sub-Saharan Africans, Native tribes, East Asians, south Asians, central Asians, Latin Americans, Pacific Islanders, Indians, Arabs, and more."
"Every single world diaspora has a politically significant population in America, most of whom are also American citizens who participate in our democracy and our national conversation."
"No other nation in the world comes even close. France and England also have diaspora but not like America does."
"This diversity has created an environment in which that xenophobia which does exist is magnified in its relevance because it actively effects people; a xenophobic American has much more opportunity to cause harm because of their xenophobia than a xenophobic Chinese person."
"But also, this means that America is the epicenter of the movements against xenophobia, and we are the only nation in the world who is engaged in a national conversation about it."
"I’d argue that America is not more xenophobic and thus more backwards than the rest of the world, I’d argue that America has advanced to the stage in attacking our xenophobia that the rest of the world isn’t even close to doing yet."
Brandywine5
We many not get everything right, but it doesn't mean it's not worth living here, fighting for here, and always doing our best to make sure the mistakes get corrected.
What's something you like about living in the United States? Tell us about it in the comments!