We love our parents most of the time, hate them some of the time, but chances are we're embarrassed by them 24/7. As much as we don't like to admit, they seem to know us better than we know ourselves when it comes to pushing our buttons, and they do it to maximum effect. Sometimes they do it unintentionally, blissfully unaware of their own un-coolness. Other times, why does it seem like they take gleeful delight in shaming us in front of our friends, families, and crushes? Ugh, It's just pure evil.
Redditor u/LuanGaff asks:
Ugh, She Did This On Purpose!
Had my first boyfriend in middle school and brought him home one time. At one point my mom made him bring me my clean laundry. And by that I mean a single pair of pink High School Musical underwear. I cried from embarrassment but he was actually pretty cool about it and comforted me. Then he cheated on me.
Damnit i was gonna say that! lol
Helicopter Parenting At Its Worst
When I was a senior in college I was working a part-time job. They offered to make my current position full-time once I graduated. Before I got a chance to respond my father found out and contacted my supervisor expressing concerns about the offer and the fact I was still in college. How my father found out still boggles my mind but when my supervisor told me that my dad called him was probably the most embarrassing thing either of my parents have done.
Edit: I spoke to my parents a few months after it happened and the only thing they considered wrong with the situation was that my supervisor told me my dad called.
Another story for your entertainment. When I was in seventh grade and went to a youth conference with my church. All students got a free t-shirt and people were signing each other's name on them. This one girl signed mine dotted the I with a heart and left her number. Well I get home my mom is doing my laundry and finds said number. Yup you guessed it, my mother called the number and told the girl I needed to focus on education and didn't have time for girls.
Every Phone Call Ever
For those who didn't grow up in a time where you shared a phone - with multiple extensions - with your parents, consider yourselves lucky.
For those who did...
Me: Hi it's Kayge, I was wondering if you were going to go to the mall tomorrow.
Girl I liked: Ummm, yea, I think so. It's Saturday, so I usually go with my friends.
Me: Well, if you're there, do you want to, y'know, meet somewhere and have lunch.
Girl I liked: Ummm, yea, that sounds good where do you want to go.
Me: Well I was thinking...
Me: (Yelling upstairs) MOM, I'm on the phone!
Mom: (Through the phone) Kayge, are you on the phone? I was calling my friend Riva. She's having some people over tomorrow and I wanted to know if she wanted any Potato salad.
Me: (Yelling upstairs) MOM, I'm on the phone with (Girl I Liked), GET OFF!
**Mom: If you want, I can make a little extra so you can take it to Judo. I know how you get tired after class. Oooh, I hope I get to go this week, you look so handsome in your Judo outfit.
Me: Sorry, my mom can be soooooo embarrassing.
Mom: I don't think she's there anymore, honey.
After I submitted a job application to a manager when I was 16, my mother barged up and started going on and on about how I was really shy and not much of a people person.
Yeah, that's what a manager wants to hear about an applicant for customer service.
What the f*ck was she planning on doing?? i don't see how anyone could think that was a good idea at ALL.
Ouch, That's Got To Hurt
My dad, influenced partly by Bad Boys 2, decided to mess with my boyfriend on my first date by acting like a hard-@ss. He filled a whiskey bottle with tea, and when he answered the door he chugged the whole thing while staring my boyfriend down, then tried to break the bottle over his own head. The date was canceled due to the hospital trip, and I became known as the girl with the batshit insane father. "Don't concuss yourself this time" became the running joke once I was able to get a date again.
Trick Or Tramp
When I was 8 (yes, 8 years old) I was OBSESSED with the new Charlie's Angels movie with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Lu, and Drew Barrymore.
There's a scene in the movie where Drew is dressed in a patriotic jumpsuit at Nascar racetrack and I really wanted to have that outfit for my Halloween costume. My mom is a costumer and, God bless her, made my costume from scratch to resemble Drew's jumpsuit.
Well, as you can probably imagine, an 8 year old girl does not have the cleavage to fill that jumpsuit out. So my mother decided to add MASSIVE fake tits to this costume. I was mortified and for some reason she would not take them out. So for Halloween that year, I had my arms crossed all of trick or treating. I still look back at the pictures from that year with deep anxiety.
Edit: adding sh*t quality pic of shame.
This Should Remain Private, Period.
My mom told everyone (20-30) people I got my period.
My mother did this too. Called everyone she knew. Smh.
Mine did the same thing...knowing I was a very private person. Like it wasn't bad enough I had to share a room with a younger sister opposite in personality, but to go and tell people that? Still angry with her about it 20+ years later.
Quiet The Scene-Stealer
My mom went through this phase where she would talk during movies, specifically about what's going on in the movie. She was also terrible at paying attention to what was going on so often times what she was explaining was incorrect.
In addition, she would try to talk over the movie. Mom would occasionally have to yell to make sure she was heard over the action scenes.
Imagine, if you will, watching the aftermath of the stampede scene from the Lion King and the person next to you yelling "SIMBA IS SAD BECAUSE HER DAD DIED."
Haunted For Life
My 350 pound mother streaked in front of my boyfriend and my friends for 100 bucks. I was only 16, and that image still haunts me.
The Call That Killed A Career
She googles my boss's phone number, called him in his office, asked him to put me on the phone. In his office. I was in a meeting with a client, I didn't answer her call on my cellphone, in the middle of a work day.
She wanted to b*tch about my step-father, and wanted to talk now. No emergency or anything. She just wanted to talk and gave zero sh*t about the consequence of her actions, as per f*cking usual.
And that's the day my boss and pretty much the entire company lost respect for me. When the mom of their coworkers called him on his boss's office, to talk about personal sh!t.
A few months later, I resigned. There was nowhere to go in that place anymore...
What A Pain In The Flash
When I was 10 or so, I was struggling with being too big for kids' clothes and too skinny for most juniors' clothes. I was trying on this dress with a mesh area around the neck in the department store dressing room, and it was so big on me that my nipples literally showed through the mesh part that was supposed to be around my collarbones. Kids that age are moody, so I just lost it in frustration and started crying. My mom was like "Oh, just let me see" but I didn't want her to see because that meant showing the whole fitting area my nipples. Finally I showed her and when she saw how upset I was, instead of comforting me, she decided to mimic me, fake-cry in my voice saying "OH MY GOD EVERYONE CAN SEE MY NIPPLES" and flash everyone in the dressing room.
Your mom flashed everyone?
Yes. It was horrible. She was wearing a beige see-through bra that was actually the same color as the mesh yoke, so it was very on point tbh.
When Reality Is A Nightmare
When I was young we had a pajama day at school but I always just wore my boxers to sleep. Well obviously a kid can't show up to school in just underwear but I was too little/dumb to understand that. Why my mom allowed me to go and even drove me there, I have no idea. It was the most embarrassing day of my life, and the school had to call my parents to come pick me up halfway through the day
Edit to answer some questions: I was in elementary school, but I can't remember if it was 1st or 2nd grade. And the school didn't notice or care until halfway because I was eating lunch in the cafeteria and kids were staring at me, some adult must have noticed then.
I'm so sorry you went through that, I've had actual nightmares of going to school in my underwear, that's so f*cked up...
Worst Thanksgiving Ever
Tell everybody at Thanksgiving dinner at her boyfriend's house about my tween bout with anorexia. I didn't want to be there in the first place, and she just kept going on and on about how I had carrots for dinner for a year until I had to shout at her to stop.
What was the aftermath if you shouting at her?
To her credit, she was immediately embarrassed when she realized what she was doing, and apologized profusely.
At least you had the nerve to shout at her. Good on ya.
Careful The Things You Say, Children Will Listen
My father was a huge racist and used pejorative terms to describe other people.
I knew about the bad words for African Americans, Chinese people, and Japanese people so I never said them. Little me didn't know about the other words.
I used one in class to answer a question my history teacher asked and he was properly horrified. I was immediately removed from class and my confused self was grilled for hours about my word usage. I finally said I don't know what I did wrong, my dad says it all of the time to describe people from that country. They called my mom, I had to go home.
There was a shouting match between my parents and my dads mother that night and I was beaten soundly by my father.
Edit: JFC, fine. The word was "hadji". Also, I learned that it might not be as bad as I was lead to believe. Always learning something new on Reddit! Thanks y'all!
I had C cup boobs when I was eleven years old.
My mom loved to LOUDLY talk about them to anyone who would listen. "Yeah, she's only eleven! You wouldn't think from the way she's filled out up top! Hehehehururhurhurhur."
Then I'd start crying from the humiliation and she'd tell me to "lighten up."
That is sooooo not right. I developed early too, and it's bad enough when you're the only girl in class with boobs without someone pointing it out. I can't even imagine going through that.
I'm 5'11" and a f*cking Amazon. I had my period at 10, D cups at 11 and I was always the tallest girl. I was made fun of a lot though in Middle school. I do not speak to my father anymore for other various reasons but the mentality that sh*t does for a kid is f*cked up.
Scarred For Life
My mum pulled up my skirt, causing me to involuntarily flash a room full of people, at a Christmas dinner. I was absolutely mortified. She wanted to check for self harm scars on my thighs, apparently. I've never self harmed before. She should not be allowed to consume alcohol.
Edit, to answer the FAQs in the replies: I was 18, and I was wearing underwear.
When I was 5 or so my pre-k did a play based on Noah's ark (it was a pre-k attached to a church).
We were instructed that our costume was supposed to be rain coats/rain boots/umbrellas. I didn't have any of those things but begged my Dad to get me at least one of them so I'd fit in and follow the guidelines.
Fast-forward: the night of the play. I'm frantically scanning the audience because my Dad is ALWAYS late.
He finally shows up and brings me: a life jacket. I had to stand up there with all the kids in their little raincoats in a life jacket. I was really embarrassed. Dad's defense was that I was the only kid who would have survived the flood. 😂
I can laugh now but I sure wasn't laughing then.
I was 10 years old and and my 2 best friends (girl and boy) were sleeping over that night and my dad, the oversharer that he is, proceeds to tell my friends the story on how I was conceived in the back of a car on a cold night somewhere. I was so mortified and my friends were just as uncomfortable as I was and we collectively agreed to ignore the whole ideal. Also he brought the cake out to the lounge wearing only his undies and a bow tie. It was a rough night.
Everybody Saw. Everybody Heard.
My mother insisted on seeing exactly what I bought for clothes to make sure they weren't too baggy until I went away to college. When I was 17, we were buying jeans at the Gap, and when I wouldn't basically do a fashion show for her for every pair of pants I tried on, she crawled her 58-year-old self under the door of the dressing room where I was trying them on. I'm a guy, and the dressing room had a line out the door. Everybody saw. Everybody heard.
EDIT: Also, "All of your jeans are in the laundry. Just wear a pair of mine!"
EDIT2: "Your waist is two inches above your belly button, not halfway between your belly button and your penis."
Oh hi there, seems like we have the same mother.
Mom, Get Out Of My Hair!
I came home from school with head lice. Instead of telling the teacher, who would send a letter home to everyone without specifically naming which child they noticed had lice, my mother rang every person in my class that she had the phone number of. She would have a chat with the parent all "yeah she has head lice so you need to check your kid". I probably got it from someone in my class and the whole class likely already had lice but kids don't realize that so the whole class were calling my dirty and saying I infected them. It was horrible. I was hysterically crying while she called people
Edit: didn't expect this to get noticed so to address the concerns. She never did anything bad ever in my life except this, she kept saying "don't be stupid I'm just telling their mothers so they can sort it" and presumably didn't expect them to tell their 7 or 8 year olds who it was. Clearly someone did because the whole class knew it was me by the next day. Seems there's a lot of comments below with similar stories of adults just having no clue about how oddly shameful it is to have lice when you're little which sucks. But kids will jump on anything to be mean sometimes.
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.