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Embarrassed People Share Moments They Wished The Ground Would Swallow Them Whole

Embarrassment is a part of human nature.

However, it still feels REALLY awful in the moment. Your heart beats faster, you turn bright red...all of the things converge on your brain and you wish you would just disappear.

Redditor u/hanphillips1 asked the community:

What is the most 'ground swallow me up' embarrassing moment that's ever happened to you?

Here were some of the face redding answers.

Misinterpreted

My wife once heard a girl's accent and asked if she was Australian.

She was deaf.

Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

I used to wear glasses, hearing aids, braces, and had severe cystic acne. My doctor put me on Accutaine (for the acne) and it made my face insanely dry. One day a few weeks after starting the medication, my friend made me laugh hard in class -- it cracked the skin on my cheeks and my face bled in the shape of my smile like Heath Ledger's joker scar. I was an abomination.

You're Not Who I Thought You Were

I was in a line in the cafeteria and my female friend is leaning on the table holding her purse. Everytime she opens it, i close it. I did it twice then she suddenly faced me and it was a total stranger. I went back to our classroom and didnt eat lunch.

Uber Tales

Ordered an Uber with my new boss on a business trip yesterday. Began making small talk with the driver to show her how great I am at talking to people. Driver was talking with his girlfriend on a headset...

Iced Booty

I was 13, and my family and I were on a skiing holiday. My parents had decided to sign me up for lessons, so that my dad could get some good skiing in and my mum and sister could relax and drink hot chocolate (my sister had broken her wrist a few weeks prior to leaving and my mum isn't really a winter sports fan.)

I had been throwing myself down mountain slopes with about as much grace as a brick, with the tutor occasionally griping about said demeanour, and was exhausted. We had time for one more run, so we all waddled over to the T bar machine. This imaginatively named device is so called because a metal bar, shaped like an upside down T, hooks below your butt and drags you upwards so you're not constantly climbing for ten minutes and skiing back down in a few seconds.

Somehow, my jacket got caught on the bar, which knocked me to the ground. This is not the embarrassing part.

It then dragged me along the snow, past where I was supposed to ski off, and carried on along a very icy patch towards the mountain where it would turn back. Still not the embarrassing part.

The embarrassing part was when the rough ice dragging under me somehow managed to pull down my ski pants, thermals and underwear, exposing my bare a** to an entire slope of people and giving me a nasty ice/friction burn all down my thigh. Also, I was yelling my head off to get someone to stop the machine. A lot of people saw.

I was helped up and off the ice, and skied down to the bigger lift to take me back down to the hotel. I cried the entire way down.

The real kicker was getting back, telling my family this story (while still sobbing through wounded butt and wounded pride) and having my dad and sister howl with laughter while my mum desperately tried to comfort me.

The Worst Contest

That time I screamed at a woman over poo.

My little village has a small annual dog show. We normally enter our little dog who has won "friendliest dog," "waggiest tail" and "dog the judge would like to take home" in the past. This year she was unfortunately in season so we didn't enter to prevent any 'fuss' from the other dogs but took her along to watch.

Half way across the park she decided to poo and I suddenly realised I'd forgotten a bag. There were loads of other people with dogs around due to the show so I wandered away a little to to ask someone for a bag. I turned back and to my horror a lady was picking up my little dog's mess. Not wanting to feel like one of those a-holes that doesn't clean up, I ran towards her to advise here she didn't have to do that because I was going to get it.

Instead, in a sort of panic, I waved my arms and barked "NO, THAT'S MY POO!" Please note that I did not say, "that is MY DOG'S poo."

She physically jumped then turned a deep red. She sort of mumbled an apology, dropped the poo and marched off with her dog.

It was at that point that I looked to my left and saw my dog's poo sitting a few feet away from the lady's dog mess that she was attempting to pick up.

I think about this at night sometimes.

The Hug Heard Round The World

So i had a crush on a girl back in 10th grade. We pretty much flirted with eachother and she told me via MSN that she she would like a hug when she came back to school (she was sick for like 2 weeks straight)

So when the day came i hugged her.

It was super akward.

I hugged her for like a minute straight and she calmly asked if i would let go of her. That minute felt like an eternity and felt embarrassing as f-ck.

After like 11 years it still makes me cringe when i think about it.

Human Cruelty

I was 15. Went to a outdoor center with my classmates where we camped overnight and did some activities over 3 days.

Anyway, we had a fashion show where all the boys dressed as girls. So the girls dressed me up with a short skirt and whatnot/croptop...

Well in Ireland it's pretty cold at night in October so there I am in my miniskirt freezing my ass off waiting for the fashion show to start and we go up on a table in front of all my classmates and my boxer shorts are loose and my small, cold, retreating penis is visible at close proximity to my whole class.

The 'cool guy' in my class shouts: 'It's like a penis, only smaller!'

and I died a little bit inside while people laughed and I heard a few audible 'Aw's and accompanying sympathetic female faces. The instructors quickly got me down off the table to their credit.

Anyway that moment stuck with me for a long time and I actually had a bit of trouble with my penis image for a while until I realised that actually I'm perfectly average.

How On Earth

My birthday party, about 15 yrs old. Kid knocks on door, I answered. Kid's front tooth is GREEN like from rot, it was a temporary cap or something. I just stared at him and he said hi, I said "tooth". Pretty sure we both were humiliated.

We did not retain friendship.

Nope

Short backstory: I have epilepsy. We discovered I have epilepsy after I had a full on, tonic-clonic seizure for the first time when I was standing in front of my locker in the sixth grade. It was the first one of my life, and my body didn't know what to do, so I ended up peeing my pants. It's the only time I've ever lost bladder control during a seizure.

Fast forward to the 10th grade, I was in class talking to a new kid, who I just so happened to have a crush on. I had told him my name, and a girl turned around, took one look at how we were sitting together and said,

"Aren't you the girl that peed herself in middle school?"

He never talked to me again.

Créme de la créme

I used to wait tables. During a busy Sunday post-church lunch rush, I had to make a Sundae for a table in the very back corner of the restaurant. I get to the table and the entire party starts laughing. I'm standing there holding the sundae, super confused. I look down and realize that I had somehow managed to get a large amount whipped cream directly over my crotch while preparing the sundae. It was nowhere else on me. Just my crotch.

All I could do was put the sundae down, say "oh my gosh" and speed walk back through the entire restaurant to clean myself up.

Cod Is A Euphemism

I was sitting cross legged on the sidewalk at my friends house and his mom said, "Your cod is hanging out". I looked down and one of my testicles was hanging out of my shorts. I got up and ran home embarrassed.

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooops

My favorite one was an account of an event on the work forums. A manager was working through a transaction with a couple. Whenever the man was asked a question, his wife would answer. He asked "does she ever let you speak for yourself?". The wife responded with "No. Not since his stroke."

F-ck.

The Great Ripped Pants Caper

Went to dealership and test-drove cars

Went to sign for car

Reached into pocket

Hand went thru pocket to skin

6" rip in my favorite jeans

Thought nobody had noticed butt cheek hanging out and felt relieved

Returned to dealership for oil change 3 mo later

Salesman: "I see you got new pants!"

Less Information

In highschool, I was hanging out with my group of friends at lunch. One of our friends walked up wearing a suit and started talking to one of my other friends. A few moments later, he says, "Ok guys, I'm heading out now. I'll be back tomorrow." So I replied excitedly, "Alright man, have fun!!"

He gave me the weird scowl/look of betrayal I've ever seen. Somehow it slipped past my radar that his girlfriend had developed a super rare disease and died inside the time span of a week. All my friends were looking at me with the widest eyes as he walked away, and in a chorus everyone was like;

"DUUUUUUUUUDE"

Renaissance Panic

i've posted this nightmare before but here goes:

i was in high school and heavily involved in drama and acting. i was looking for things to audition for outside of school. my mother found an audition for a renaissance fair. she insisted i audition, as i was being super picky. i did not want to at all. i ended up agreeing.

flash forward... she tells me auditions are in costume so she bought me a really cheap costume from an iparty-esque website. the audition was at a really waspy country club. so i show up in costume. i immediately want to die. i enter the country club and i have no idea where the audition is. there's a ton of people in there and they are staring at me and laughing like i'm a joke. i am literally almost in tears. finally i ask a worker/server/i have no f-cking idea where the auditions are. he gives me directions that make no sense so i wander this place for what feels like forever until i find the room.

i enter, and the panel looks at me, repressing their laughter. i want to die at this point. they say i am "definitely looking the part/prepared for the audition." i was given an audition form and told to fill it out. i asked for a pen. they couldn't find one, so one guy takes this really expensive pen out and gives it to me TO BORROW. he says he needs it back, as it's really expensive. i leave the room, panic/weep, and flee the country club with this guy's super expensive pen.

Unworking

A blind woman wanted to know where the front of the bank was and I pointed and said it's over there

The Stain

In middle school I used to have a bad habit of chewing on these pens that had sharp tips and came Im red, black and blue ink. Can't remember the brand but they had a gray body and a see thru little window to see the ink left. Anyway, what I didn't know is that the tube/body was slightly pressurized, and one day during class I bit too hard on the pen, making it burst into my mouth.

People Break Down Life Hacks That May Seem Fake But Are Actually Total Lifesavers

Lifehacks, if applied properly, can really change the course of a single household chore.

Chores can really be such a pain to take care of, and nobody wants to do it. But with a little life hack under your belt, you might be able to turn chore time into something a little fun.

u/rat-avec-london asked:

What is a lifehack that seems fake, but is a true lifesaver?

Here were some of those answers.


My Finger, The Glass

If your ring gets stuck on your finger windex will slide it right off. Worked at a jewelry store for five plus years.

coykoi314

You can also use any oil (cooking, automotive... anything).

You can also reduce the size of your hand (and finger) by holding it up in the air. Chilling your hand in cold water THEN holding it up in the air for a couple minutes whilst rubbing oil &/or dishwashing fluids in there... trifecta of ring removal.

Should work on anyone that just stole Sauron's prize - though biting it off also works, i suppose.

SageSilinous

Multiple Uses

Use shaving cream as anti-fog. I used it on the inside of my motorcycle visor. Smear it on, let it dry, then rinse off and dry. It also works for bathroom mirrors. You can use it on a small spot so you can still see when you get out of the shower.

Caspers_Shadow

Shaving cream also removes the smell of urine. If you ever have to take care of someone who is old and/or sick and who wets the bed, a little shaving cream on a rag wiped over their buttocks after they are thoroughly cleaned up helps them really smell clean again.

It's a bit of a sad tip, I know, but you never know when you might end up caring for someone who needs help with things like this. Nobody wants to smell. A dab of shaving cream to restore a bit of dignity? Priceless.

Gen-Jinjur

Pretty Important For Stage Actors

Every male should know this. If you want to get rid of an awkward boner flex any muscle in your body maybe an arm. For a minute. The blood will rush to that muscle and away from your penis. Crisis averted.

GingerOverseer

These life hacks really don't seem real at all, but if you can swear by them, they can save your life.

Obligatory Poop Hack

I saw a comment on one of these kinda threads that recommended gently rocking back and forth while pooping. I've never had any problems in the bathroom, but I happened to be sitting on the toilet when I read the comment so I decided to give it a test drive. I was pleasantly surprised at how quick and effortless the whole experience was and I haven't gone back to my old stationary technique since. As a bonus, #1 and #2 now require the same amount of time in the bathroom!

ASS_LORD_666

It's The Alcohol

If you have funky armpits and need to fix them fast, use hand sanitiser. I figured this out years ago when I remembered that the smell comes from bacteria reactions - which antibacterial hand gel kills stone dead. Instant results and the medical smell lasts only a minute. Don't do this routinely though as it's delicate skin.

ihadanideaonce

But Hopefully It's Just A Playing Puppy

True lifesaver: if you are ever attacked by a dog, push your forearm INTO the bite. This pries the jaws apart and prevents them from clamping down. If a dog is attacking you, the best thing you can do is offer your forearm, push as far back as possible, and then grab the dog by the scruff of its neck with your other hand to hold it. The dog is now functionally muzzled and you have control of its head. The sooner and harder you push into the bite, the less damage the bite will do.

IAlbatross

Get It Off Anything

That rubbing alcohol removes chewing gum.

I'd go through a 20 layer deep marketing funnel to get to that tip because it really does work.

Also wow! Thank you for all of the awards nice Redditors. I completely forgot I left this comment and came back and my notifications had blown up.

omgIamafraidofreddit

And previously impossible situations will give way at long last.

Sayonara Capsaicin

Rubbing vegetable oil (or any cooking oil) on your hands after you cut up jalapeños or other hot peppers. It gets rid of the awfulness that would normally be left on your hands from the peppers. I rub my hands with oil and then wash it off with dish soap. I can totally remove my contacts after doing this. It's crazy how well this works.

PaulRuddsButthole

Crying Crying

Put your onion in the freezer for 10 minutes before chopping it. It freezes the juices just enough to slow down the process of it turning in to a gas, giving you a few minutes to chop the onion without tears. I learnt this tip from a kid's science show years ago and I haven't had to deal with onion tears since. So many people don't believe me, and then are genuinely surprised when it works.

Lost_in_the_Library

Just A Quick Little Base

The cheapest, most effective, and safest insecticide against roaches (especially those huge "water bug" roaches that we have in the South) is a spray bottle of mostly water with just a little liquid dish soap in it.

Shake the bottle & get the water a little foamy, then spray the roaches. They will run, scrabble, and attempt escape, of course, but they will die. The soap film suffocates them faster than any chemicals will.

A friend told me about this, & I thought she was nuts, but I tried it & it works amazingly well. Plus it's very easy to clean up and safe around food (not that you want to spray soapy water ON your food).

SnooPickles3213

Incorporating any of these lifehacks into your home may make a big difference. You'll never want to turn back.

Or you will, whatever. But they're worth a try!

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