Growing up, my parents insisted that I take my brother with me everywhere I go. The idea was that he, as a boy, would offer some form of protection.
The reality was that all he did was make my life miserable and create dangerous situations.
Now, this isn't his fault. This is 100% on our family, their built-in patriarchal B.S. (sorry latin people, you know I'm right - we have so far left to go) and their refusal to believe in medicine.
My brother was younger than me (by 5 years, that's a good chunk during childhood) and smaller than me, but because he was a boy he was automatically granted more freedom.
He could go out alone with his friends, I could not. He could date, I could not. He could do things outside of school and church, like martial arts classes. I was only allowed school activities or church activities.
What made the whole thing worse, though, was that his younger age and diagnosed but untreated ADHD meant that not only was he not "protecting" me when they would force him to come as my chaperone - he was creating problems.
He was only about 10, his ADHD meant he had poor impulse control and would climb facades on buildings, or rocks, or trees, or the sides of movie theaters. I would often have to grab him before he darted out into traffic, etc. I basically didn't go out or have a social life until college because of my parents rules and obsession with church (six days a week is incredibly unhealthy.)
And no, it didn't keep me out of trouble. It just made me a better liar who felt no remorse for the lies.
When your over-reactions and "Christification" of everything remove honesty as a possibility for anything, you make lying the only form of communication possible.
Reddit user AlePiga asked:
"People who grew up with strict parents, what’s the dumbest rule you had to live with?"
Strict rules clearly didn't work out well for these people:
Rotating Curfew?
"Rotating curfew types so none of them were overused."
"Today is the homework curfew, no going out until its all done AND checked (extra time wasted) Oh, no homework today? well dinner is at 4pm and you cant go out after dinner."
"..And today is the darkness curfew, which is around 4pm, not sunset or actual darkness, just when sunset is kinda starting. Worse during winter months."
"..And today is mom's workout class, you have to stay late at school or get taken along, and no you cant be dropped at home even if its on the way."
"NO you cant go out if you take the bus and get home alone, you have to stay there because nobody else is home yet. Whats that, no homework? well I've suddenly decided you need to read more, you are staying in."
"Yeah Mom was a super control freak for no reason."
-DonnieJuniorsEmails
Common Cans
"We couldn't drink soda out of the can in public because only 'common people' did that."
"I never understood it as a kid. I'm still not 100% sure why my Mum had this rule."
"As an adult I thought it's perhaps to do with people drinking alcohol outside. I asked her as an adult and her response was 'Well it is common looking' so I still don't know, honestly!"
-zerbey
"At cookouts and parties we have a small town rural District judge who absolutely refuses drinks in cups in public, and only allows himself and his family to drink from cans."
"He said it was about the implication of holding a cup, where the substance inside could be construed as an alcoholic drink."
"Such fun to have them around."
-Euphoric_Splinter
Little Rascals Reaction GIFGiphySeeing Other People
"I couldn't see the same person multiple times in a row."
"I had to hang out with a different friend before I could see the same friend again. I still have 0 idea what the logic there was, it was the rule for ANY friend I saw consistently."
-atlas_mornings
"Concerned about you dating maybe? Or just being a control freak."
-adeon
"Honestly they did this with any gender of friend so I'm leaning towards the control option"
-atlas_mornings
Tracking
"My phone had to be downstairs and plugged in in our kitchen, my parents had to know my password, and could read or open my phone at any time."
"I used to stay after school for an extra 15-20 minutes before headed home. In many cases since I’d 'Already gotten to see my friends' I wouldn’t be able to hang out when they went to movies, a friends house, etc."
"When I got a girlfriend, suddenly I wasn’t to be trusted with anything."
"I had to go straight home and could no longer stay at friends houses overnight. I was 18 and had my own car."
"I also got my phone taken away for several weeks after some of my friends sent 'inappropriate' memes in a group chat. I had no part in it, which my parents knew since they read everything, but I still got punished."
"When I was 19, and living in dorms, I finally turned off tracking on my phone so my parents couldn’t track my location."
"Not because I was doing anything bad, just because my mother had texted me the night before after I went to pick friends up from a club, and she demanded to know why I was there. I just couldn't handle being tracked any more."
"The next day, while I was at work, my parents drove to my work location and confiscated my car for removing tracking."
-HoppyTaco
Doorway To Drama
"You can't close your door, if you do we remove it."
-Pineapplep1zz4
"In my house, it wasn’t allowed to be closed for sleeping, it was only allowed to be closed if your parent was in the room with you and wanted it closed."
"You want the door closed to change your clothes? Better do it in the bathroom and don’t take too long or the door will be opened. And behave or you might lose your bathroom door privileges."
-scarfknitter
Trap Door Doors GIFGiphyStep-Rules
"When my dad got remarried I was 17 and had to move, my stepmother had the stupidest rules."
"Everyone had to sit in the same chair at the table, even if not during dinner time. She'd throw a tantrum if someone sat in a different chair."
"No hanging out with friends on the weekends"
"She would, and I kid you not, turn off the WiFi for the entire day if even one person decided not to go to church."
"We weren't allowed to walk through a bathroom - it was the best way to get to a part of the house. You had to walk around multiple rooms if you didn't just cross through that bathroom. I wish I was joking when I say she guarded that bathroom one night."
"Everyone has to go to bed at the exact same time (9:00PM) because the youngest 'wouldn't be able to sleep if other people were awake' - the youngest was 11 at the time."
-JscJake1
Gender Studies
"Not being allowed to study certain subjects because of my gender."
"My parents really never accepted the fact that I study criminology. They still blabber about how I should be studying tourism management since it’s more 'feminine'."
"My mom never had the chance to finish tourism college because of having me so she wants me to achieve her dream of becoming a flight attendant."
"She was a lousy mother and wants me to become what she wanted, but I have my own dreams to pursue. I can't live my life like it's a do-over of hers."
-louskey
pushing air travel GIFGiphyJesus And Breadsticks
"When I was 17 I went on a date with a 16 year old girl who was new to my school. She had moved there from Northwest Arkansas. Her parents were really strict."
"When I showed up to our date I was told that we'll be traveling in her parent's car. I had to sit in the front with her dad and she sat in the back with her mom. They talked to me about Jesus the entire ride to the Olive Garden."
"She left a hand written note in my locker on Monday apologizing. No, we didn't end up together."
-SuperMadCow
"Still worth it cause of the endless breadsticks."
-DnDYetti
Wrestling With Hypocrisy
"No watching wrestling, because it will make you g*y."
"I've put a bike lock on the fridge. no midnight snacks for anyone."
"Read one book everyday. If you cannot, you'll write sentences."
"I'm annoyed at the world. Get off the video games and go outside."
"No metal or classic rock because the Devil will influence you."
"No Trading Cards Because the Devil created it."
"No UFC because it's too violent."
"Basically, my dad made the rules and they were outright pathetic as I reflect back on it. That was only because he was an a**hole, and everything he did was hypocritical."
"He told us never to smoke pot, but a few years later we walk in and see him completely stoned, eating smarties and watching Jackass."
"Good thing I was considered a rebel in his eyes because I would've hated being a tool like him."
-Puzzle_Boxx
FOMO
"I wasn't allowed to see most of the TV series kids watch because they were 'violent', 'distracting' or 'a bad influence'. Basically, when my friends talk about their childhood series or TV shows the only thing I say is 'sounds interesting'."
-CrushLovesBeingRyu
"Toooootally relate."
"All my friends' jaws drop when I say I never saw an episode of Phineas and Ferb or, like, Invader Zim. Those Cartoon Network or Disney Channel shows, I was just never allowed to watch them."
"I'm an adult now and it's at that point where I can't really go back to watch them just because I'm not really the 'target audience' and I don't have nostalgia, so they just seem so... childish and I hate that I can't enjoy them as hard as I try."
-NebulaDragon416
phineas and ferb GIFGiphyHair Cuts
"God forbid I'm allowed to cut my hair cuz I'll go to hell for it apparently. I'm 21."
- I_want_taters
"Omg me too! I cut mine for the 1st time at age 22 after I got married and moved across the country."
- NightZucchini
"Ugh, I'm sorry. I lived in a small town with a church that didn't allow their woman and girls to cut their hair or wear pants. Such brainwashing."
- Upsidedownworld4me
"Yes, this. I can relate. I still have a difficult time cutting my hair. It was drilled into my head that Your hair is your crowing glory to God."
- Amishgrannie
Socially Antisocial
"I couldn’t have a Walkman because it would 'make me antisocial'.”
“ 'Then how come all the kids with lots of friends have them?' went over as well as you think it did."
- ResIpsaLemonCurd
"People (not family members, luckily) always told me the same thing about reading.....like, dude, maybe if you were as interesting as my book I would look up. Unfortunately you're about as stimulating as a coma"
- knit-witch-96
"YOU DARE TALK BACK TO YOUR PARENTS? THEY GIVE YOU A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, CLEAN WATER AND FOOD. INGRATE!"
- fluentinsarcasm_
golden girls headphones GIF by TV LandGiphyYour Toast Is Too Loud
"don't make loud toast.... yes, toast..."
- shifty_DFSO
"I'm just picturing an anthropomorphic piece of toast screaming bloody murder as you drag your knife across it to butter it."
- OptimusSublime
"Even as an adult living on my own for over 10 years I still twist the handle of doors before closing them and slowly turn the handle back once closed so you can’t hear the click of the latch if you were to just pull it closed."
"Yes, closing doors was too loud for my mother. She never got after me for the toaster though! Only if I accidentally left it on the counter instead of the cupboard or left a single crumb."
- spamix0924
"Wait, like toast you eat or a 'call to a gathering of people to raise their glasses and drink together in honor of a person or thing, or an instance of drinking in this way?' "
- SofaSnizzle
"shhhh shhhh shhhhh toast. It'll all be over soon ..shhhhhhhhhhh"
- ClownfishSoup
Cable Company Helped
"Idk if it was the dumbest but it was funny. I wasn’t allowed to watch MTV or Comedy Central."
"My parents blocked the channels on our tv but the channels were switched sound by the cable company so they ended up blocking the history channel and c-span and didn’t realize it. I watched mtv and Comedy Central whenever they weren’t home."
- Impossible_Town984
"You are not alone I had about 3-4 kids in my grade that could not watch those channels either. Parents freaked out and banned them from watching TV for months if caught on that channel."
- bodacioustugboat3
jim carrey hello mama GIFGiphyEvil!
"No Halloween ,Pokémon, Harry Porter"
- Aholenewname
"Also no Yu gi oh My mother burned my brother's whole collection because demons lived in them."
- AuntieFrybread
"Oh yeah, the satanic panic sh*t. My mom was into that too."
"Don't forget D&D"
- Aperture_T
"Add to all of these I couldn’t wear black, cause you know the devil’s color and all"
- Wexylu
Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy Superhero GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyCatch-22
"Not allowed to have a dirty clothes pile (didnt have a hamper)"
"Also not allowed to do laundry unless it was a whole load"
- HairyNutsackNumber9
"Wow, there's an impossible situation"
- matou98
"I can understand not making a carpet out of them but like 1 pile in the corner? whats wrong with that"
- HairyNutsackNumber9
"why didn’t they buy you a hamper? where did you end up putting your dirty clothes?"
- nicyole
"because they need a reason to bitch so they just make problems"
"ironically enough i just kept putting them on the floor in the same spot"
- HairyNutsackNumber9
A Bit Too Sheltered
"My husbands mom wouldn’t let him watch SpongeBob or Disney channel and he had a 10pm curfew when he was 19. he was a very sheltered kid"
- straightupgong
"I wasn't allowed to watch SpongeBob either! Jokes on you mom, now I smoke dope all day and watch it in my 20s"
- HamSamich129
"My ex had a literal bedtime as a 19 year old. His bed time was 9pm on school nights and it had just been increased from 8pm for his senior year of high school."
- Champ-Aggravating3
"Had a 10pm curfew till 19 too, i broke it heaps but it eventually magically went away at 20"
- Throwwawayssss
That Was Yesterday
"Something they were fine with yesterday will get me slapped in the face today."
- Toadie9622
"even better, something they slapped you for not doing yesterday will get you slapped today"
- A-Miniature-Cactus
"I know this one, fused with the bad mood projection. It makes a 'am I in trouble or it is a good mood day?' sixth sense"
- akotoshi
"Even after said something was agreed upon or discussed MULTIPLE times prior."
- ItchyInvestigator174
Raising A Liar
"I'm not allowed to spend any money I worked for unless I have a job. That isn't a bad rule, aside from the fact that I can't buy a $2 bottle of chocolate milk from a gas station without my mom getting all upset that I'm literally gonna spend all $35k in my bank account. Also, I'm a full time student, so it's not like I'm doing nothing."
"However, I know the real reason is that my control freak mom can't bear the thought of her kids having a better home life than she does while they're living with her. I have long since started having Amazon packages delivered to a drop off point for when I go to school, and I use cash to add to my Amazon gift card balance that I get from doing cash back when I use my debit card to pay for gas so my dad, who has access to my account, doesn't see anything other than money being spent on gas."
"Moral of the story to you parents: strict parents raise sneaky kids who are good at lying. All there is to it."
- SilverLugia1992
"Yep, all it does is teach the smart kids how to get around rules."
"I wonder how many creative accountants got their start that way...?"
- Just_Aioli_1233
Lying Bounty Hunter GIF by DefyTVGiphyStrict rules typically come from a place of love (and fear) - we get that. But maybe try counseling instead of ... this?
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.