Every now and then you hear something so ridiculous that you can't help but be impressed... and then commit to memory so you can be sure to share it with everyone later.
After Redditor UnRealDreamsofLife asked the online community, "What's the dumbest reply to a serious question you've heard?" people were more than happy to share their stories.
As you read these, you might ask yourself, Wow, they didn't think that one through, did they?
No. The answer is no.
"I was a nanny..."
I was a nanny when I was in college for this very bizarre family who always pretended like I wasn't there. I was walking down the street with the mother and her two kids. It was February and the sun glare was really bad, so naturally I was wearing sunglasses. One of the kids, about 4, asked his mother why I was wearing sunglasses in winter, and the mother responds, "Well some people are not that smart and they just want to look cool." Please note, both parents were professors at an Ivy League college.
"The man looked at her..."
My friend was a second year med student and she was walking through the main floor of our hospital in scrubs. Stopped by a passerby asking for directions, she was asked "hey! where's the PET-CT?"
She said, "um...I think there's one in the nearby mall"
The man looked at her confused and was like "the PET-CT is in the mall?"
She replies "ya, like the second floor I think? It's not called Pet City though, it called pet world, I think"
"Do...do you think I am looking for a pet store?"
Two years of medical education and common sense returned to her in that moment and said "oh my god no you mean the scan! It's down that hall on the right I'm so sorry"
He shook his head walking away and we heard him say "I wish I was looking for a f***ing pet store.."
"I never went back."
Was in college, and went to the Calculus study hall to see if I could learn something.
One of the problems was something like "A man throws a ball on the moon at a speed of XXX mph at an angle of YY degrees. How long before the ball comes down"
The response from the TA (PHD candidate in math): "That's a stupid question- everyone knows there's no gravity on the moon!"
I never went back.
"Is the standard..."
GiphyMe writing a construction bid: "Is the standard flooring for these units going to be tile or vinyl?"
The client: "Yellow."
"My high school..."
My high school had a geography bee where one kid was asked what the capital of France was and he replied "Spain"
"Back in India...""
Back in India, my company had hired a motivational speaker to give a speech at an event. There were 300 odd people with senior people of HR also in audience. Everyone was bored but the lady instructor kept on going on how to build self confidence. Sensing that people are not interested she started getting audience involved. I, being a back bencher as always, did not care about it at all. I thought she would stay in front. I was feeling sleepy and not paying any attention to it. After some time I saw her coming to the back. She suddenly stopped next to me and asked me "Are you motivated?" I was not sure what was going on. I answered, "No, I am Dave."
Half of the crowd started laughing. She was taken aback by my answer and did not know how to respond to this. She did not come to the back to ask questions after that.
"When accused..."
When accused of nepotism after giving his son an important role as a politician, Brazil's president said "He has to be someone's son, why can't it be mine?"
Truly an argument you can't fight back.
"It was actually..."
It was actually me who said the dumb reply. This was when I was younger, just by the way.
(Texted to me by a friend) "Can I take a rain-check?"
A few minutes later, I text back,
"Nope, no rain."
I had literally checked the weather for the day. I was a socially awkward idiot, so... yeah.
"In law school..."
In law school we had a free clinic for qualifying and lower income people to come in. We couldn't technically "advise" them because we weren't barred yet, but we could guide and try to help them through some complex issues they might not have a handle on. One guy came in and wasn't even my case but being done by classmate next to me during a session.
The man, dead faced and scared: Would filing for bankruptcy ruin my life?
Girl, flustered how to answer: Um... well, it looks like your life is already pretty bad.
"Since then..."
Years and years ago I was working as a developer at a small company. There were 3 full time developers, Mike, Jake and me. I was working on one project and the other two were working together on a separate project.
The 2008 recession hits our industry about early 2009. And we laid off Mike. He goes to another company and gets a job pretty quickly. They were impressed with him. Which was no surprise to me. In fact, everyone else always assumed Jake would be let go during the layoff.
About a year later, Jake is fired. He ended up applying at the place the Mike went. It was one of the few places that was doing almost exactly what we were doing. Mike messages me and asks me how he should respond, because his boss saw they both worked together. He felt bad, and didn't want to be the reason Jake didn't get a job. But I told him, while that would suck, he also has to consider how HE will look to his boss if he recommends Jake. We all knew he wasn't a good developer, and if you tell your boss that Jake will be good, it can only backfire on you. In the end, he chose to not recommend Jake.
Since then, I think Jake has had 6-10 jobs in the last 9 years. And if it ever comes up, I will not recommend him for this same reason.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.