During my very first week of my very first job I had a woman place a pair of freshly urine-soaked store panties into my hand as "punishment" for not having public restrooms. Florida Woman is so very, very real, fam.
One Reddit user asked:
"What is your 'I don't get paid enough for this sh*t" moment?"
That's the incident that immediately came to mind, but I'd be lying if I said I was 100% certain it's really the worst job moment. Holiday retail work is a dystopian hell-scape and everyone should be required to serve at least one season.
Think I'm lying? You'll notice a theme that keeps coming up in people's stories ...
Plumber Problems
I'm a plumber
Owner of a mobile home called and said they had a stinky yard.
I could smell it when I pulled up.
The mobile home was brand new and had only been set up for about 8 months. While setting it up, someone didn't tighten a no-hub band of the toilet in the kids bathroom.
8 months of flushed toilet was all over the ground under the home and had just started being noticed outside.
I told the homeowner to call the guys that set it up to come fix it. I wasn't crawling under there.
Back when I did plumbing went out to a job that required us to crawl into the crawl space of about a 200 year old mill house.
I opened up the crawl space and shined my light in there across the crawl space to see all the rafters and pipes just draped in snake skins and some snakes slithering away into the darkness. Noped the f*ck out of that one.
I'd rather crawl though sh*t than snakes.
- Brancher
DVDon't Care
stealing bart simpson GIFGiphyI worked at Circuit City when I was 17. I heard the noise of packaging being opened in the movie section and found a guy crouched down cutting open DVD boxes & stealing the discs.
He looked at me, held his knife out and said "Got a problem?"
I just replied "I don't get paid enough for this sh*t" & backed off. I went to the back room of the warehouse area to call a manager to tell them what happened.
Never could get a hold of anyone so I just chilled in the warehouse area for a half hour to decompress.
- Skrivus
I worked at a movie store in a mall when I was in my early 20's. I probably would've confronted the guy like an idiot. I had a dumb sense of duty back then, a mothaf*ckin' crusader.
One time I chased a shoplifter out of the store down the mall until security was able to tackle them, he did try to steal like 1k+ of merch but it was stupid, people get killed for less.
You did the right thing.
I also worked at Blockbuster in college for chump change.
A bunch of dudes shoplifted the f*ck out of us and when me and the other guy confronted them about it, they ran out of the door. District Manager asked why I didn't put myself between them and the door to protect the merchandise.
I told them for minimum wage I'm not putting myself in danger to keep a giant corporation from losing some twizzlers and a copy of Friday and Armegeddon.
$7.25 Per Hour Either Way
Grocery store cashier. The customer was angry because her cereal had rung up wrong. I called a price check and this lady berated me the whole time. I recall that she accused me of trying to steal from her. Said she was going to get me fired.
I looked at her and said, "I make $7.25 per hour no matter how much you pay for this cereal, so I do not give a sh*t how this situation turns out."
She stared at me in shock. The price check comes back saying the price scanned correctly.
Silence.
I said, "So do you want the cereal or not?"
She said, "Yes." And that was that. She did not complain to the manager.
A Master's Degree In Pee
I'm a public librarian.
I was helping someone in the computer room and turned to tell someone he needed to keep his exclamations at the video he was watching down. Just then, the woman I was helping leapt aside because the man I was shushing pissed himself.
It ran down onto the jacket he had tied around his waist, down the chair, onto the ground.
Turns out he'd snuck in alcohol and was totally black out drunk. I told him he had to leave. He put the piss covered jacket on and stumbled out.
As I returned with gloves and cleaning supplies, another patron decided this was a good time to complain about some kids who were making noise.
I took a deep breath and said "This is a good time for us all to appeal to our higher selves and do our best in the moment. Please just adapt for a minute."
Then I thought about the student loans I took out for the master's degree as I scrubbed up piss.
A Literal Sh*t Show
Bagging groceries at a major supermarket. The manager came over to tell me that I needed to clean up the bathroom.
An elderly gentleman fell off the toilet while pooping and it was a literal sh*t show. Apparently I was the most qualified because I was 16. I was handed a broom and a dustpan, I sh*t you not (sorry had to.)
My reward for going above and beyond the call of duty? Five dollars in store coupons. Sometimes dreams really do come true.
"I Hold Madonna Responsible"
ray of light madonna GIFGiphyI used to work in a mall music store, back when that was a thing. There was a corporate policy to play new music regularly, y'know, because that's the thing you're trying to sell.
My boss, every single day she worked, would play the entire Madonna album Ray of Light. Hours of the same eight f*cking songs. For most of a year, until it was either go mad, commit murder, or bail.
I bailed. I literally quit over it.
That music franchise went under a little over a year later. I hold Madonna and my old boss responsible.
Prime Location For Thieves And Weirdos
I was a manager for a well known lingerie store. Our location was in a failing suburban mall. The store was giant and shaped oddly. There were dressing rooms in odd hidden corners and a few blind spots.
The store was located at the end of the mall next to other stores no one really went to, so there wasn't much foot traffic. We were also always short staffed because no one wanted to work out there. All of those factors made us a prime location for thieves and weirdos.
I would have to do laps around the store due to its layout, and I would regularly come across people doing sex stuff in this one secluded little dressing room. The dressing room was in a sort of alcove and was the least visible spot in the store, so it was prime real estate for all kinds of shenanigans.
It ranged from women doing strip teases for men, to catching couples having oral sex, to catching couples having penetrative sex.
I couldn't take it anymore. I put in my notice the next day.
What was crazy was that corporate always shrugged or laughed it off when I would call and complain that we needed a security guard. I was 21 at the time, and every woman that worked their was between 19-30; it was a safety issue.
They'd also blame us for all the merchandise theft, which we were unable to prevent because there weren't enough bodies in that gigantic store to prevent it.
I was also dating a guy who also worked in the mall, and he told me that they finally closed up that one dressing room not long after I left. He said a lot of folks were pissed because apparently that one little dressing room was a well-known open secret spot for hooking up.
A Javelina's Head
First day at the health department, I'm left at the reception desk alone while literally everyone else in the office went out to a farewell lunch for the person I was replacing. As I was on 90 day probation, wasn't yet licensed and badged, my pay was $7.96/hr.
I'm sitting at reception, and some redneck comes in with a leaking garbage bag and drops it on my desk. It contains a newly be-headed javelina head.
His buddy had been bitten, and it needed to be tested for rabies ASAP.
I had no fucking clue what to do with a bloody leaking garbage bag of javelina head. He couldn't wait for others to return, so he left a number and split.
Turns out, we don't do that sort of thing at the health department. Guy refused to come back.
The Register Light
I worked at Walmart for less than a month in 2009. I scanned a big box fan for a guy and it didn't ring up, so I said "I gotta do a price check on this, I apologize."
The guy said "It's $24.99 you f*cking idiot."
I stared at him for a moment, then reached up and turned my little register light off, turned around, walked out to my car, and went home.
F*ck that shit.
- CDC_
Alone With An Armed Violent Felon
I used to be a counselor at a methadone clinic. Had a client who was going to prison for slitting the throats of his ex-wife's beloved Rottweiler because "I couldn't kill her and it was the best way to hurt her. "
The day he was supposed to go to prison, he showed up at the clinic well after dosing hours demanding his dose. He was no longer on the clinic so, legally, there was no way to do this.
I stood behind the counter and tried to explain the situation to him. He grew more and more irate and then called his lawyer and put me on the phone with him.
His lawyer explained dude didn't show up for prison, was now a fugitive and had pulled a knife on his own sister in her car just outside my clinic. So, dude had a knife. Lawyer told me not to piss dude off. He was violent and to call the cops.
By this point, every other therapist and office worker had gone home. So I told the lawyer thanks, hung up the phone and mosied the f*ck out of the front office and called the cops from the break room.
Dude hopped over the counter and trashed the place then left.
The bosses asked why I didn't stay and make sure he didn't trash the place and ruin stuff. I explained they paid me $10.50 an hour and refused my raise. I was the only man in the building and was left alone with an armed violent felon.
F*ck their stuff.
Undercover In A Booth
I work the lowest type of paid security. My co-workers are literal grannies, disabled people, and hobos. We are not imposing.
I got put on guard duty outside of some garage. There was literally nothing important anywhere close, but they were paranoid about hooligans after the big local derby. Fair enough. Off I go to "guard" the garage.
It all actually went nicely for a while. But then cops showed up, the big guys from our company showed up (with all kinds of additional equipment I never could use) and whoops they escalated the whole situation. The people were fine and friendly til officers arrived.
I couldn't see anything, I could only hear it around the corner. I even left my post to check, but still didn't see anything.
Apparently a violent mob broke loose and was heading in my direction. I had no protection or anything (unarmed security guard all alone) so I took my boss' keys from the not-so-secret location and opened the garage ticket booth - which was closer in size to a phone booth.
I locked it, turned off all the lights and radios, took off my uniform and wore my regular clothes and acted like I was still there to sell tickets.
Anyone halfway informed would've seen through that disguise for so many obvious reasons. I prayed nobody actually tried to buy a ticket or ask questions. At the same time, I couldn't run away either.
The mob rampage was real.
At many points I thought they were gonna throw the whole booth over, but I was lucky.
Destruction hit everything else but the mob somehow respected me and left my booth untouched.
The boss told me the company was pleased that I "protected" the booth.
Honestly, I don't even know what I was supposed to do.
My boss obviously already knew of the mob, so me radioing them would've done nothing. The cops were already there... Really, I should've gone home, but my task was to stay outside and stand in front of the garage, so I did ... so stupid.
The Big Guy
Worked at a bar back in the day.
This big guy had had WAY too much to drink (think colleagues were scared to stop serving him....he was BIIIIG.) As I went to serve him, I saw his condition and refused him.
I genuinely thought he would pass out or worse if he had any more.
He proceeded to grab me by my shirt collar from the other side of the bar, grab his whiskey glass with his other hand and go to smash me over the head.
Luckily his friend (just as drunk, but not a trash person) tackled him to the ground midway through his motion. This was the first of a few similar instances with the same big guy.
He went after a few colleagues and customers.
Loved The Job
nicki minaj dog GIF by DNCEGiphyI worked at the front desk of a large humane society doing pretty standard front desk stuff (AKA not a vet or trained professional). I can't count the amount of times people put ziplock baggies of literal dog sh*t infested with living parasites on my desk, near my coffee, or just stuck 2 inches in front of face.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVED that job, but I literally did not get paid enough for that sh*t.
The Excitement He Needed
When I was in college, I had a job taking care of a man who had multiple sclerosis. Basically just helping him with his exercises in the morning, watch TV with him, and then go for a walk in the afternoon. Honestly it is the best job I've had, the man was so nice and had a resilience to him that was unlike anything I've ever witnessed.
Anyway, he is in an electrical wheelchair that he would control. The curbside was very high off the road in his area, so anytime we'd be on a curb side I'd tell him to be careful.
At times one pair of wheels would be on the curb and the other on the road. He could see that I would tense up and go close to him. One day he finally said:
"Don't worry this wheelchair has a strong centre of gravity! It will never fall off"
It did in fact look heavy and sturdy.
Well. We were in front of a baseball field and it made him think of a joke. He had difficulty pronouncing because of the multiple sclerosis, so I had to make him repeat like 5 times.
I finally got the joke and it was really funny. We were laughing. We were on a curbside.
I still remember his wheelchair falling, SO SLOWLY. Because of that strong centre of gravity.
My heart was pounding in my chest. I held his head as he was falling with his wheelchair. I recall being there, sitting in the middle of the road, with his head in my hands, yelling for help as I knew I could never lift up this 200 pound wheelchair and his owner.
I think I can safely say I wasn't paid enough for that job. We eventually got help and he wasn't hurt one bit. Said it was the excitement he needed since nothing ever happened to him. He laughed it off. Such a great soul.
- kittynaw
Wrestling Figures
Nearing the end of KB Toys, at least in the mall where I worked.
Assistant manager "found" a bunch of ripped open WWE figure packages. They called loss prevention in. I was accosted over stealing figures, because I was the only employee who bought figures at that store - or I was until that assistant started there.
He was also a big wrestling fan.
After about 20 minutes of continued baseless accusations, I got up, threw my shirt in that assistant's face and said "f*ck you I don't need this" and walked out.
Guessing they closed the investigation off as though I did it and was terminated for it. A couple of years later, I applied to Game Crazy and was declined a position because my name showed up in a national theft database for around $200.
Of course it was after KB was closed, so I had no legal recourse.
- eldniw
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.