Decades of Hollywood horror films have managed to influence how we interpret the bizarre statements of children.
Kids are bizarre, they leap to weird conclusions or miss key details entirely. And when they vocalize those conclusions--often with alarming conviction--the sentence uttered is, at the very least, puzzling.
But sometimes another tone cuts through: straight eeriness.
Whether it's the content of what a kid says or simply the way they say it, the macabre is never that far off whenever a child discusses some inexplicable situation.
Recently, Redditors recalled the creepiest kid moments of their lives.
TheArgonianKing asked, "What's the creepiest thing you've ever heard any child say?"
In many cases, the creepiness stems from kids' confident assertion of things to come. For whatever reason, children tend offer up the very worst predictions when not a single person asked.
These kids set there eyes on the things that loom.
Rough Day Coming
"Lol a couple hours ago, my 3 year old very casually was like 'I'm going to be sad when this home catches fire.' That was an interesting conversation." -- Fun-ghoul
"Budding arsonist maybe? He's just nonchalantly warning you." -- TheArgonianKing
"At least they'll be sad. Good job!" -- dlorddjr
"My neighbor's 4 year old daughter once said to me 'You're pretty. Too bad they're coming for you soon'"
"Needless to say, I was terrified for a few days. Over a year later, nothing has happened to me. Suck it Jennifer!"
It's That Alarming Certainty
"My 5 year old cousin told me that we have 7 days left to live and nothing can change that, after saying that he put his favorite toy in trash and walked away. I was left speechless."
"11 years later I am still alive so is he. It terrified me for few weeks not gonna lie."
Not All Babies are Cute But This is a New Level
"My 3 year old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, 'Daddy its a monster..we should bury it.' "
Mom, Covering Up the Truth
"Little blonde girls still freak me out to this day."
"I had the window seat on a quick one hour flight, sat next to a little blonde girl, with her mom on the aisle seat."
"As we're taking off, the girl points out the window and exclaims, 'We go up and die!' Her mom quickly corrects her, 'Yes, we go up in the sky!' A few minutes later, she's points again and says 'I see pain!' Quick on her feet, her mom corrects her again, 'You see plane, very good.'"
"No, Sheryl, that's not what she said and you know it!"
Other kids describe their horrifying interactions with inanimate objects.
Things around the house are suddenly imbued with dreadful life when a kid explains a recent run-in, just a room away.
Teddy Bear Taking a Look
"You can sleep with my teddy bear mommy. I don't like when it's eyes move." -- allthemigraines
"Why the fu** am I reading this right before I go to sleep?" -- BackWaterBill
"Two sentence horror story?!!" -- Bloddybella
Eyes Only He Could See
"I was babysitting a 3 year old. We were playing and suddenly he pointed at a painting on the wall of a woman with her head turned away so you couldn't see her face and said 'I don't like her, she's scary.'"
"I asked why and he said 'I don't like her eyes. She has bad eyes.'"
The Man in the Mirror
"The man who lives in your mirror likes to smile at me. However, when you walk in, he gets angry." -- AlmaUm
"I'm not gonna lie, I have an antique vanity that I'm planning to use as a piece in the nursery I'm currently putting together for my daughter, and I was 50% worried about potential creepiness."
"I am now 100000% worried about potential creepiness." -- maimsy
And of course, there are the imaginary friends.
Unfortunately, these "friends" often sound a heck of a lot more like ghosts or other haunted spirits. But sometimes the evidence around the child's claim is eerily compelling.
Interpretations of Snake
"While changing my daughter in front of the open closet door. She kept looking around me and laughing. I asked her what was so funny. She said, 'the man.' To which I replied, 'what man?' "
"She then pointed at the closet and said, 'the man with the snake neck.' I turn around and nothing was there."
"I'm afraid to look into the history of my house to see if anyone hung themselves in the closet. At least she wasn't scared."
"Can't recall hearing anything myself, but I was a little kid when I said something creepy. I heard this from 4 family members (my mother, father, and grandparents). They were having breakfast and I came into the kitchen and said how 'Uncle Sal' and I were talking last night."
"This was my grandmother in question's deceased brother that died over 10 years before I was born. My grandfather turned white and almost fell out of his chair."
Basil the Ghost
"My 4 year old stepsister used to talk to a ghost named basil. Which was just coincidentally the name of the old man that died in the house before they moved in." -- admcshane
"Yeah, "coincidentally.'" -- Insaniac1
"Yeah, Basil is a ridiculously common name...." -- twstdrose
As Poetic as it is Scary
" 'You can near them in the silence, but when you listen they notice.' My little cousin." -- Still_a_cowboy
"Mice maybe? Yeah definitely mice, gotta be..!" -- IamDuyi
Borrowing a Body
"My mum told me how when i was a baby in nappies and could talk quite well for my age (not sure how old i was). One day while she was changing my nappy She said i looked her dead serious in the eye and said 'i used to do this to you when you were a little girl.' "
"She said the hairs on her neck went up and was creeped the hell out and just replied 'oh did you?' And i went on as a baby again like i never said a thing."
"She thinks maybe it was my deceased great nanna appearing through me for a second."
Follow the Leader
"When my sister was around 2 or 3 years old she ran out the door and down the street, luckily my mom saw her and called me to chase after her."
"When we finally caught up with her my mom asked her why she ran out like that, my sister said 'this lady told me to follow her.'"
"We didn't see anyone in front of her the whole time she was running, also we don't know how the front door opened since she couldn't even reach the handle at the time. Creepy stuff."
Fully Developed Narrative
"My niece, currently four years old. I'm convinced she's going to be the next Stephen King or the next Zodiac Killer."
"Latest incident. Found her with her dolls seated all around the table, she's at the head of it, holding forth. She's got a bit of a lisp, so it's not easy to make out what she's saying when she's talking fast."
"I go over to ask her what they are playing. She was getting a battle plan ready on how to kill everyone in the house and take all the ice cream from the freezer."
"I was to be killed by her teddy bear stuffing itself down my throat."
"Sorry sis, I'm not staying the night, got plans. See you later (hopefully.)"
Geography Via Ghost
"Apparently when I was about 3-5 I had an imaginary friend who was a British soldier in WWI, I would tell my parents about the things he'd tell me, one of which was about being stationed in India."
"My mom then pulled out a map and asked me to point out where India was and I got it right."
"We asked my 5 year old cousin who she was talking to in the den. She said with excitement 'I was showing pap my dolls!' "
"He had passed that morning but we hadn't told her yet."
Hopefully, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation behind all these anecdotes. After all, we only get to read a secondhand account taken from memory.
But there's no doubt about the spookiness of these recollections.
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Laws exist to maintain order. However, they do not prevent crimes from actually happening, and before any punishments are made, the damage is already done.
Curious to hear about some of the more creepy indiscretions people get away with, Redditor Flytechofficial asked:
"What is perfectly legal, but creepy as hell?"
These things that happen in public restrooms can be considered criminal.
Respecting Splash Zones
"Using the urinal next to me when there were plenty of other choices."
Nightmare For The Pee-Shy
"hanging out in a public bathroom timing how long people pee."
"I swear to God. I did a lot of work in hospitals for a while, big f'king hospitals with tons of bathrooms all over the place. For some God damned reason, regardless of what time or bathroom I selected to take a sh*t in not 30 seconds after I sat down a janitor would knock on the door to clean the bathroom. It's not as if it was one janitor, just some random janitor would inevitably need to clean whatever bathroom I was in as soon as I got comfy. It's like I was being stalked by the janitors."
"So now I'm trying to take a sh*t knowing full well there's somebody out there actively timing how long it takes."
"I was drunk in a casino and went to use the washroom. The floors in there were a polished marble or something. Sitting on the toilet, pants down, my stall neighbour made eye contact with me on the reflective floor tile."
The following examples involving minors have no legal repercussions.
Kids For Show
"Child Beauty pageants."
"Technically, you can stand on the sidewalk and stare into someone's house through a window. It's not illegal as long as you stay off of their property, but it's really freaking creepy."
Keeping Tabs On Someone's Age
"A national newspaper having a countdown for when a child actress becomes 'legal' for sex."
"Answers to questions that will surely come. ....Yes. The Sun (UK). Emma Watson."
The Young Subjects
"When I was a child, we had a creepy horrible neighbor that would harass my family constantly. One of the things he did was stand at the corner of his yard and videotape me playing in a pool with my friends (we were around 8). My parents called the police but were told that it's legal if he's on his property."
These perfectly harmless examples can give you goosebumps.
"Hanging your doll collection from the trees in your yard using string made from human hair."
"I believe the act of cannibalism itself is legal so long as you didn't murder anyone to do it. If your homie gives you his arm to gnaw on, it's fair game."
"Facing the wrong way in an elevator."
I recently treated myself by going to a movie theater after what seemed like a long hiatus for much of the year.
Streaming blockbuster movies from home, while convenient, has never made as much of an impact when compared to the moviegoing experience.
But after my recent trip to our local AMC, I'm beginning to think watching entertainment from the comfort of my quiet home is a much better option.
I forgot that a good majority of audience members are disrespectful and pretty much ignore all the rules—including no texting or talking during the movie.
The normal volume conversations and the number of lit screens from people's smartphone's in my peripheral vision throughout the movie were huge distractions.
Maybe as I'm getting older, my patience has worn thin, or I happened to have a particularly unpleasant experience. But seriously, how can anyone enjoy going to the movies when people are constantly updating their status inside a darkened auditorium?
It should illegal. Rant over.
Shaking hands... what's up with that?
Could this social custom be going out of style given that we're all in the middle of a global pandemic and have become hyperaware of all the germs around us?
And not just that, but just how nasty people are? Why would you want to shake hands with them?
People shared their opinions after Redditor alebenchhe asked the online community,
"What social customs do we need to retire?"
"Making couples feel obligated to have giant, fancy, weddings."
If someone wants that, then more power to them.
But there are indeed people out there who spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to have weddings to please their families... only to divorce later.
"If I take a day..."
"Rest being seen as lazy. If I take a day off of work simply to sleep in and rest at home instead of having to have some sort of big plans or destination it shouldn't be seen as anything less."
"Having to purchase..."
"Having to purchase gifts for extended family that you cannot afford because it is Christmas or another holiday."
Yeah, let's stop that. Not all of us are made of money!
"Though it looks like this custom is fading away during the pandemic...but how about we stop glorifying us "being model employees by showing up to work even while sick?"
I was at a retailer for 14 years, and I don't have enough fingers and toes to count how many times I used to see managers and supervisors dragging themselves to work while sick to please their superiors. In January 2020, I ended up getting the flu from a co-worker that decided it would impress the store manager if she still showed up while sick with the flu.
That culture went away REAL quick when we started getting COVID cases in the store I was at...and I too ended up getting a mild case of COVID. I've called out any time in the past when I felt sick...and I will continue to do so as I normally did."
"I don't create..."
"Worshipping celebrities. I don't get it and it seems to just create tons of problems."
The celebrity worshipping culture, at least in the United States, is insane, and sets people up with rather unrealistic expectations.
"This goes along..."
"That because someone is"family", you should force yourself to spend time with them and be "nice and respectful", no matter what kind of person they are or how they treat you.
This goes along with the enabling acceptance of "that's just how they are" rather than condemning poor behavior choices."
Yes, let's normalize cutting out toxic people from our lives. We'll thank ourselves later.
"Expensive funerals. The funeral industry is insane."
"Discussing salary with co-workers should no longer be taboo."
That's how they get you––it's in your employer's best interest to keep you in the dark, and it's wrong. Many people out there are not aware of their rights in the workplace.
"Giving greeting cards..."
"Giving greeting cards for every single event imaginable. Why pay $5 to give someone a piece of paper that will get thrown out the next day? I'd rather you give me $5 and skip the card."
It's a wild world we live in and social customs can and do change. Life now won't look the same twenty years from now for instance––perhaps for the better? Who knows?
Oh, and sorry, but can we go back to the topic of shaking hands? Let's not do that. Just wanted to be extra clear.
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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I have a paralyzing fear of death. If I could I would live forever. Have you ever seen the movie "Death Becomes Her?" I would give every penny for that potion. And I wouldn't be all crazy like them.
Live well forever and be happy? It's possible. Even though life is nuts and scary, you're still here. What if there is nothing after the final breath? I don't want to just not exist, while everybody else just gets to keep on dancing.
In my hopes I see a Heaven with ice cream and vodka. So I'm going to hold onto that until eternal life is an option. Let's hear from the gallery...
Redditor u/St3fan34 wanted to discuss life after life, by asking:
What do you think really happens after death?
I feel like if there is nothing after life, it just invalidates life. But maybe I'm just dramatic. I hope there is peace. Thoughts?
Leftoversblack and white two funerals GIFGiphy
"Your family fights for your belongings."
"When we die, the whole world as seen by us, dies together with us."
"Yes it does. As does the entire universe. Only when we are alive can we experience the passage of time. The instant we die the entire universe will experience heat death and cease to be. It my take a million eons but since we can no longer experience time it will be relatively instantaneous."
"It's one of the great wonders of life: What will it be like to go to sleep and never wake up? And if you think long enough about that, something will happen to you. You will find out, among other things, that it will pose the next question to you: What was it like to wake up after never having gone to sleep? That was when you were born. You see, you can't have an experience of nothing. Nature abhors a vacuum. ~Alan Watts"
"When I was much younger, I had a dream where I died. Not a typical dream, not a romanticized dream. It was a dream where I was an archer in a medieval battle. About 5 minutes into the battle, chaos was all around me, and I watched an opposing archer aim and loose an arrow straight into my left eye."
"I remember the sensation of impact, ringing in my ears, and falling to the ground. I remember the warmth of the blood on my face. The feeling of life leaving my body, and the sense of worry evaporating into warmth and peace as the world left behind me."
"I remember waking up shortly after thinking that the feeling and reality of that experience was so vivid and so detailed that it must have been an experience from a previous incarnation hundreds of years ago. From that moment on, I've never feared the actual process of death. I feel like I've experienced it many times before."
EraseComputer Reaction GIFGiphy
"I think one of your best friends delete's your browsing history."
If you love me... rule number one... HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!! Let that be heard far and wide. And dreams, always so intertwined aren't they?
Before & AfterHappy Baby GIFGiphy
"Exactly the same as before you were born."
"We clean the bed and assign it to another patient."
"The REAL reason why nurses are so dark. 90 year old man in hospice got hit by a car on his way to get fitted for his funeral tuxedo, and didn't have a DNR. Kept him alive for four hours, and now it's time to document everything that was done to save his life because there will inevitably be a lawsuit from a family member who has had four years to say goodbye but somehow didn't get to."
I don't know what they mean or how to utilize them. I'm a Buddhist (but a gamer first and foremost) so it's cool you guys made those connections This totally makes up for r/movies continuously banning me."
"I've answered this one before but here it is again. Either two things happen after you die: you either go somewhere or it's oblivion. If it is oblivion, then we're just going back to the same place before we were born and there's nothing wrong with that. We were there for billions or trillions of years, possibly infinity."
"You lose that concept of time since your brain doesn't work anymore so you don't even know it's over. It's not nothing because nothing would be something and that means that you are aware, which you can not be if you're dead. If we do go somewhere, then that's something no one understands because no one has ever come back to tell us."
"Those stories of people coming back after they "died" and "saw stuff" weren't really dead. Their hearts stopped but their brains were still working. If the Universe continues to recycle itself infinitely, then there's a chance we will be reborn or continuously reborn but have no memory of our previous selves."
"When I was a kid I drowned while on holiday with my family, a giant fat man jumped in the pool on top of me and no one noticed till I was on the bottom of the pool. I remember the feeling of my lungs being on fire, then shivering then as everything was going dark a strange sense of peace and I was ok with it, No panic or terror then it went black."
"I was resuscitated at the side of the pool a few minutes later. I remember nothing from the black to being "alive" again. I was around 7 when it happened and since then I've been strangely at peace with the fact that one day I will die and slip into the dark void of nothingness. Hope that helps."
Popcorn?500 days of summer cinema GIFGiphy
"You wake up in a chair in a cinema and learn that the other are past lives of you and you're about to watch your next life very soon on the big screen."
The truth is none of us know the truth. We live everyday with the afterlife being a gamble. And that seems like it's going to have to be enough.
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The pressure to fit in when you're a young person is no joke. It seems like, daily, your emotional and physical safety hinges on you passing as "cool"--whatever that means. "Cool" can mean different things for different people. But when it comes to the things the "popular" kids think is cool--it might actually be destructive or dangerous.
But thankfully, just like trends, what is "cool" and what is not is also liable to change with time. And as generations move on and on, the landscape of what is "cool" changes. Some of the awful things that were cool when we were younger are no longer cool.
And that's probably for the best.
"What are you glad isn't 'cool' anymore?"
Here were some of those answers.
A Hole In The Ozone Above My Head
"Perms and aerosol hair spray. In the 80s you rarely had one without the other."
"I had permed hair from the age of 5 until college. And the wall in my bathroom that was opposite the mirror had a thick layer of hair spray permanently covering it."-ShallowLily
Mustache You A Question
"There was also that sub-trend of drawing a mustache on your finger and put it underneath your nose to do some sort of quirky selfie."
"I remember some people actually tatooed it on their fingers and I'm wondering how it's going for them now."-Skeledenn
Mid Aughts Eat Your Heart Out
"Layering shirts over a ton of cami tank tops."
"At least, I hope this trend is dead, because I had to do it since every shirt was tissue-paper thin."
"Can we please go back to shirts being opaque please? I'm tired of having to wear 3 layers just so I don't look like I wore only my bra to work."-Empty-Masterpiece242
Can't you find yourself sighing from relief that some of these things are no longer "in"?
It Was Also The 90s
"The early 2000's make up trends consisting of Orange foundation, extremely pale pink lipstick and ruler-drawn extra thin eyebrows."
"Please God never bring this sh*t again..."-Sohiacci
A Language, Not A Picture
"You get people with tattoos like '無料' because they went to the tattoo artist and said 'I want a tattoo that says I'm free!'"
"And they got a tattoo that says 'I'm free'... meaning 'I don't cost anything.'"-ppardee
"Don't forget when Ariana XL got a tattoo of 七輪, which is made up of characters that mean seven and ring, but as a word refers to a small charcoal grill."-Sharpevil
The Axe Years
"Men drowning themselves in axe body spray. I remember jr. high and the hallways would reek and almost everyone re-upped at their lockers between classes."
"Axe might as well make an Arctic-marijuana scent because I think people only use it now to cover up smoke smell but it doesn't really work."-Trolling_turd
It's All Bacon
"The bacon everything craze from about 10 years ago. Bacon flavored or scented everything, and so many memes about how bacon was like the greatest thing in human history. Like, it's okay."-NYArtFan1
"The meal itself could be subpar but because they've added bacon to it they feel it's gourmet or something. The burger sucks but it's $20 because we've added bacon."-Duffmanlager
And now, looking back, you're probably wondering why these things had such a long shelf life in the first place.
Just Like Axe
"Love Spell from Victoria secret. Like seriously I hate it now. Growing up the girls that went to school with me would bathe themselves in it. Especially during things like prom, winter formals, and any other events the school had."
"I got made fun of because I would wear other smells like cucumber melon and sweet pea. Yes I realize sweet pea smells like old lady. However, anything else was better than smelling a sea of f**king love spell."
"It also got me brownie points with the teachers. The older ones liked the smell and the younger ones shared my opinion on it. One day after gym, I was changing clothes, had just put deodorant on, and was about to spray a little cucumber melon on."
"One of the girls that regularly picked on me decided that today was the day. She caught me off guard and sprayed love spell directly into my face while screaming 'There. Now you won't smell like old lady a**' and laughing. All the other girls was laughing too until they realized I was coughing and was having trouble breathing."
"She had literally sprayed it down my mouth and nose. One of the girls panicked and went and got the teacher. The teacher took me to the office and called my parents. By the time my parents got to the school I was fine but, they decided to send me home anyways."
"The next day letters was sent home to other parents letting them know that love spell was banned from school because it was triggering kids with asthma. I don't have asthma but, I guess the teachers seen the incident as the perfect time to finally get rid of the smell once and for all."
"To this day, if I smell a hint of love spell I instantly start gagging. So glade it's gone.😉😉"-RiseandRiseagain1814
It's Cool To Care Now
"Apathy. It used to be really cool to not be invested in anything, but it seems like social media has made having hobbies and passions easier to with other likeminded people."-The_Most_Superb
"Fortunately I chose a co-op internship program which helped set up my career, but I regret not joining many clubs/activities because doing things was considered uncool."
"I think 21 jump street laid it out perfectly. The older kids were so confused about the newer high school kids actually giving a sh*t. Too accurate!"-swerve408
The Landscape Of Who's In Control
"Honestly, I'll take all of these back if I never have to see another 'influencer' again. Sure, back in the day you had your Paris Hiltons and your Kim Kardashians but they were easily ignored and only took up a niche portion of culture."
"Now, influencers have basically dominated every aspect of pop culture. Videos game culture is so dominated by streaming and YouTubers that meeting someone who 'likes video games' means something completely different from, say, 2007 or so."-TheRedCap
Looking back, maybe we weren't as cool as we thought we were. Then again, why were we so concerned about our hair, our silly bands, or any of these other things that faded with time, as everything must?
The coolest thing we can do in the present is just be ourselves.