We don't talk about Bruno... and all of the other crazies in the family.

Maybe that is why that song struck such a chord... we can all relate to family secrets and family crazy.

Even though every generation has gotten a little more open and willing to discuss trauma, we still have a long way to go.

There is something to be said for not airing out all of the dirty laundry.

Everybody doesn't have to know private business.

Redditoristrx13was wondering things families don't talk about...

They asked:

"What is the 'we don’t talk about that' in your family?"

I'm not getting into my family. You'll have to wait for the play.

The 30s...

"My great aunt was a nurse supervisor at a mental hospital back in the 1930s. She fell in love with a patient who was being evaluated to stand trial for murder. She helped him escape and they went to Florida to hide out. But they were eventually found and the guy was put on trial and got the chair. My aunt got off easy, but she moved far away and rarely came home."


he didn't make it...

"The brother that was born between me and my first sister. It was my mothers second child. Apparently he only lived about 3 days. Neither my mom nor my dad ever wanted to talk about it much. My sisters and I both have seen the birth certificate, which my parents kept."

"We also know there were about 3 years where they waited before my mom became pregnant with my sister afterward. Both of my parents are deceased now and to be frank, I think I only got about a paragraph of conversation about it, ever, from either of my parents. Just a, 'he didn't make it.'"

"It's not creepy or some strange thing, it's just sad. You can tell it affected them both very powerfully, especially to go the rest of their lives and not really share it with current and future children they had. It must have been horrible."


Now that she's dead...

"My mother's cult-induced severe mental illness, which caused her to viciously abuse her two oldest children verbally and physically, and forced my dad to have her committed to a mental hospital several times. Now that she's dead, we still don't talk about her much, lest she "come back from beyond the grave" and continue her lunatic ways..."



"That I have been in contact with my birth family. My older brother and I are both adopted, but he has publicly stated that he has no intention to contact his own birth family, because, he feels that it would be disrespectful to the parents that have raised us, like, why mess with a good thing?"

"So, I’ve never told him that I did it. My husband also didn’t think I should contact them, he was concerned that there would be 'drama.' I keep in touch with some of my birth family mostly online and so far there’s been no drama."


Hey Stud

"That my late uncle was a gigolo. Only my father and I know the truth."


rose love GIFGiphy

Now being a gigolo has got to be a great story. Tell us more...

"always is right"

"My 'always right' aunty got proven wrong for once and rather than just accept it, she ghosted the whole family except for her immediate. Sometimes I talk to my cousins and always ask how wrong Wendi is doing?"


Iliza Shlesinger Ghost GIF by IlizaGiphy

"silver fox"

"How my uncle, whom is a single, 'silver fox' (so my grandma calls him), multimillionaire, executive of one of the big 3 car companies is secretly gay. We ALL know except grandma, that's why we don't talk about it. He also has no idea that the whole family knows."


All the Feels

"Sex, love, anorexia, emotions in general."


"Mate, literally same. My parents are the most emotionally unavailable people I have ever met. It's not really their fault bc my entire family is cooked mental health wise, but damn."

"I'm convinced it was a huge contributing factor to my anorexia diagnosis. Lots of emotional turmoil but I wasn't taught how to talk about emotions, wasn't even really exposed to emotions, and no one to talk with about them anyway. Only way I could signal to the outside world I was not OK was starving myself, I guess. I'm ok now. Hope you are also ok."


Crazy Woman

"My cousin who is absolutely crazy. Got an abortion because she hated the guy, got married to him a few months later and started a family (they have 3 kids who are demons)… they moved out of state but she started coming back home once every few months to drop off the kids at her parents and then go on a bender and basically live in a motel for a few days."

"Then the divorce came, she married one of the guys she was banging on the side, got divorced again after cheating on him with husband number 1… now she’s dating her drug dealer. Again she still has custody of her 3 kids."



"I was a complete accident. They found out at the wedding and I’m pretty sure my Christian grandparents weren’t happy. They’ve only talked about it a few times."


Pray I Hope GIFGiphy

Oh my Granny...

"My grandmother had a secret divorce 3 years before my mother was born and a year before she married my grandfather. She never told anyone about it, we are even unsure whether my grandfather knows, but my mother only found out after doing family research and finding her maiden name on a divorce court document. The files are still sealed as well so unless we apply for access we won't know why the divorce occurred. And no, we have never once bought this up to my grandmother."


32 Now

"My dad's horrible rage. He has huge blow ups, and the next day acts like nothing ever happened, a trait he passed down to two of my sisters. It's been like that as long as I can remember. And I am 32 now. That, and my parent's addiction to gambling that kept us below the poverty line my entire childhood, despite them both making good money."

"I can literally remember days after my mom would get paid, asking if we could get some groceries, and her having no money at all. I always just thought we were super poor when we were younger, but when I was in high school, and started making my own money, I caught onto it."


“Baby I can’t help you.”

"How I was forced to marry my second cousin at 16, and when I finally couldn’t take it anymore when I was 23. I called my Mother begging her please let me come home he is gonna kill me, actively beating me as we are on the phone, all she could say was 'Baby I can’t help you.' Then she hung up on me. Thankfully I made it out alive, nearly a decade later living a completely different life as a new wife and Mother."



"Me and my adoption. I’m not considered a part of the family because I’m adopted. My dad accepts me, But not my extended family and definitely not my siblings."


family GIFGiphy

we don't talk about that...

"My mom consistently refused to come with me to therapy to talk through our past together. Dad died when I was 7, she got too comfy with a bottle and turned abusive and neglectful. She wants a happy family now that she's remarried. I'm left physically disabled, with CPTSD."

"Our constant tension was so distressing that it lead to my health declining to a dangerous point multiple times. I cut off contact 2 years ago. She pretends like i never existed now, same way she did with my dad. So, the 'we don't talk about that' is...me."



"When my grandmother was in her 30s she tried scrubbing off a tattoo of her ex with Drano and iron wool. The only reason she stopped was because my aunt called the cops and she passed out from the pain. If you're wondering, no the tattoo isn't there anymore. She died 6 years ago."


"this night is over"

"My autistic uncle once let loose after a few drinks that he killed someone once with a gun. We all laughed. I saw his father's face go white. Then others did as well. Finally everyone did. He said 'this night is over' and we haven't talked about it since."



"Doing good. Changing your life to not struggle and live in poverty. I made changes to better myself and since been excluded."


barack obama challenges GIF by ObamaGiphy


"My dad went kinda crazy when I was a teenager. Cheated on my mom, beat the crap out of me, drank constantly. This lasted for about a year. By the time that I was grown and out on my own, it had stopped. He was back to the dad I knew as a little kid. Better even. We don’t talk about it. He passed away in January. Despite all of what he did then, he was the best man I’ve ever known."


Some secrets are meant to stay in the family and meant to go to the grave.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

People Confess Which Things They'd Like To Tell Their Partner Without Upsetting Them
Adi Goldstein/Unsplash

The key to any successful relationship is communication.

The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.

But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.

Keep reading...Show less
black sheep looking through fence
Jose Francisco Morales on Unsplash

Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.

What is a "black sheep" anyway?

It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.

Keep reading...Show less
small white dog running
Joe Caione on Unsplash

Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.

There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.

A good steak.

A home repair.

The things that make you say...

"I tingle all over."

Keep reading...Show less
black and white cat with mouth open looking at computer tablet
Kanashi on Unsplash

People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.

And when it is requested, think before you speak.

People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."

Keep reading...Show less