People Explain Which Dark Family Secrets They Were Finally Let In On
Reddit user EgglessYolk asked: 'What dark family secret were you let in on once you were old enough?'
Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, True Crime Cases
We've likely all had a really good friend or close family member whom we felt we could share all of our biggest dreams and deepest, darkest secrets with. But truth be told, most of those deep, dark secrets were having a crush on the "bad boy" at school or cheating on a math test in sixth grade.
Some families have genuinely dark and troubling secrets, the stuff from true crime stories and the best psychological thriller fiction, and upon being revealed these secrets, it might become hard to ever look at the family quite the same way again.
Bracing themselves, Redditor EgglessYolk asked:
"What dark family secret were you let in on once you were old enough?"
Not the Best Sledding Day Ever
"My paternal grandmother had an affair with our small town’s mortician in the 1940s. She got pregnant and he performed an illegal abortion. The fetus was buried behind the funeral home he owned where we kids used to sled every winter."
"My dad told me this as I was getting ready to take a ride down the hill on the sled when I was 12."
"Also, my paternal grandfather had multiple illegitimate children around our small town. Turns out one of my best friends was also my half-cousin. My father told me that when I was 17."
"My father was educated, intelligent, honest, and moral, but also Autistic and not always the best with timing. The fact that his parents were so wild was absolutely shocking to me."
- arjacks
Wonderful Bonus Brothers
"I found out when I was in my early 30s that my mom didn't just have four kids, but actually six, though she gave two up for adoption before I was born."
"Also, I was the last baby she had with some rando before she married my stepdad and she had intended to give me up for adoption, as well, but somehow kept me."
"The silver lining? One of the babies she gave up contacted her a few years after I learned about this and now I have an awesome new brother!"
- Pandora1685
A Terrible Family History
"1. My grandfather killed his own son by throwing him on the floor because he was crying (he was just a couple of months old)."
"2. My uncle tried to rob a bank and ran away on foot. He later got married and his wife ended up committing suicide. At the time, the police thought that my uncle killed her since he had a criminal past, but he didn't (he was at work and there were witnesses)."
"3. I have multiple half-siblings (my dad was, and is, unfaithful)."
"4. My grandfather burnt the house down with his wife and children inside with the intention of them dying. My grandmother ran away with her seven or eight children, I don't recall, and she asked a priest that she worked for (she cleaned his house) to give her a space to stay, and he ended up giving her a home that an old lady left for the church (and if I'm not mistaken, she was paying it off little by little)."
"5. My aunt's neighbor (who I went to the beach with when I was little) apparently killed his own wife abroad."
"6. There was a rumor that my uncle's kids weren't his."
- _leticia_
A Tragic Family Tree
"My grandpa (15) kidnapped my grandma (14) from a convent. No one even bothered looking for her thereafter because she was an orphan and didn't even know who her family was. They had 16 children together."
- afa78
An Assisted Ending
"My extremely wealthy uncle was going downhill quickly with Alzheimer’s. Before he was too far gone, he apparently made a deal with my aunt that when things got the the point that they would have to send him to a nursing home, she would kill him instead."
"He wrote all of this in a letter and gave it to the attorney of their estate."
"When the time came, I don’t know why she chose to shoot him in the back of the head instead of something less violent, but she did."
"It was a pretty big trial with a fair bit of news coverage, and it really blew up when the lawyer testified and brought forward the letter. My aunt served like two years, I think, and was released on parole."
- Cannoli_Emma
"That's extremely sad but also really bada** of both of them. I'm sorry for everyone who was involved."
- tsunaminatpot
"It’s kinda insane that this even had to happen. If we lose control of our body, we should be able to say what we want and when."
"She was doing what he asked. I think most would if they could. Sad that she had to go to jail."
"End of life for a lot of people isn’t something they want but they’re forced to do it for the sake of everyone else."
- jazzhandsdancehands
A One Night Stand
"I found out when I was about 32 that apparently in 1973, my dad had a daughter he never knew existed."
"I found out because he texted that to me while I was working, after finding out about it himself about one week earlier. She was in her late 40s by that point, I think."
"What's sort of tragic is all this time we thought I was my dad's only kid, and he always wanted a daughter but never got one due to marriages ending. He would have f**king LOVED this girl. His daughter was the result of a one-night stand with a girl he never talked to again, and according to his daughter, the mother had a mental breakdown not long after giving birth and never really had custody of the daughter anyway."
"Dad never would have had any way to find out, the baby grew up with the mother's parents in another state, and the mother kinda went AWOL."
- ManicDigressive
A Disney Trip to (Not) Remember
"My parents took me to Disneyland for my seventh birthday. I recall landing, going to the park, and having a great first day or two."
"Then my parents had to step out and take a bunch of phone calls. They sounded very stressed. They kept telling me nothing happened and everything was okay."
"Eventually, we flew home, and surprise! We took an extra couple of days to go to a big Waterpark away from home."
"I fondly remembered this birthday and eventually forgot about any of the weirdness."
"Maybe 10 years later, my parents finally told me what happened. My uncle, my dad's brother, tried to kill himself on my seventh birthday. He shot himself in the stomach with a rifle. He was poor, addicted to drugs, no work, etc. He felt depressed my dad had the life he always wanted, so tried to kill himself."
"He ended up living. My parents took me to the Waterpark so that we didn't have to come home to him leaving the hospital. By not telling me, my parents let me keep my birthday as my day, not the day my uncle tried to die. Knowing how a seven-year-old's brain works, I probably would've thought I had something to do with it."
- No-Ice-9612
The Documentary in the Family
"My dad's first cousin is serial killer Kenneth McDuff. We saw the 'America's Most Wanted' episode when it aired and were so surprised to hear about another McDuff, not knowing he was a relative."
- lolabam3
"Google Search Result: 'McDuff was given three death sentences that were reduced to life imprisonment consequently to the 1972 U.S. Supreme Court ruling Furman v. Georgia. He was paroled in 1989 and went on to kill again. He was executed in 1998 and is suspected to have been responsible for many other killings.'"
"Jesus H. Ch**st, they f**king paroled him after he had been given three death sentences commuted to a life sentence?!"
- dcbluestar
The Motherly Figure
"My uncle was actually my cousin."
"He was kidnapped as an infant, and when he was returned a year later, my aunt didn't want him back. My grandparents adopted him so he was legally my uncle."
"My aunt was a real piece of work. To backtrack a moment, this side of my family isn't biological. Technically my dad is my step-dad, but he raised me from toddlerhood and he's my dad, pure and simple. All of his family treated me as one of their own."
"Except my aunt. She would always tell my grandparents that she just couldn't understand how they could love me, because I wasn't 'blood family.'"
"I have no idea why she didn't want her son back. It was a familial kidnapping, a non-custodial father. When my cousin was returned, she ditched him with my grandparents and got back together with her other half."
- EhlersDanlosSucks
23AndMe Discoveries
"I found out I had a sister who had been given up for adoption. The only reason I found out was the person who informed me no longer felt bound to secrecy after my mom died. And the person who told me had 'receipts' solid enough that I have no reason to doubt them."
"It also explains why mom freaked out when I told her I'd done a 23AndMe test."
- zombiemann
"23andMe is how my father discovered he had a bonus cousin. As it turns out, his uncle had a fling before leaving for WWII that resulted in a child he either never told anyone about or didn’t even know himself."
"When my father looked her, the cousin, up she happened to live in the same city. He and my aunts contacted her and all met up for lunch. Turns out the woman had been searching for years to find her father's side of family. As far as I know, they still keep in touch."
- pyroagg
Hidden in Plain Sight
"My grandfather had severely scarred legs from burns he got as a kid. Growing up, we were told that he was in a fire in an apartment building and sustained the burns while escaping. He died when I was seven, and one of my few memories of him is an image of those scarred legs."
"Well, when I was 23, my great aunt (his sister), told me that it wasn't a fire. Their father ran a bath with scalding water and put my grandfather in it as a punishment."
"My great-grandfather was an abusive alcoholic piece of s**t who f**king maimed his son."
- idksomeusername42
An Unhonorable Sword
"My mother grew up in the American South. Her brother died in his early 20's and she always told me it was a freak accident. A bullet came through the window killing him. They lived in a rural area so I never questioned it."
"One year, I inherited an old Korean War officer's sword after my grandpa passed. My mom freaked out and told me that it was too dangerous to keep and that we should sell it or get a safe to lock it up in. I thought it was weird so I asked my dad and he got this sad look on his face."
"Turns out my mom's brother was brutally murdered with a similar sword in the 80s. He had gotten involved with some drug dealers and they thought he had snitched about one of their big deals that got busted. No idea why they decided to use a sword but it was pretty f**ked up to hear about. My mom had to ID the body."
"I found this out when I was 16 but she never directly acknowledged it until years later. My mom said he was just trying to make some extra cash by introducing people who partied to the dealers. I'm about his age now and I can see how he just thought he was making a quick buck. Never thinking something like that would get him killed."
- plurperonipizza
The Miniature Farm
"When I was very young, my family lived in a townhouse, and against all local bylaws, my mother decided to keep a horse in our backyard."
"Not only that, but it was an ex-racehorse that came as a package deal: the goat companion that slept in the closet of my nursery."
"I also later found out she was running a grow-op in the basement."
- SlyGuy011
Inspiring Our Own Inner Glorias
"Y’all’s stories are WILD! Mine is super tame:"
"When I was in my early 20s, I found an old photo of someone in a family album I didn’t recognize."
"When I asked my mom about it, she said, 'Oh, that’s your Aunt Gloria.” Then she lowered her voice (even though we were alone) and added, 'She’s a NUDIST.'"
"Poor Aunt Gloria. She just wants to be a nudey-lady and everyone acts like she’s a leper."
- WithoutDennisNedry
"I aspire to be a Gloria."
- breadanudes
The Redditor who posted this marked it for "Serious Replies Only," and their fellow Redditors did not disappoint.
While some of these might have had a happy ending in a way, like a family expanding with "bonus" siblings and cousins, but some of these, it's hard to imagine moving past the news. It's a delicate reminder of how resilient humans can be.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
How People Became The Black Sheep Of The Family
Reddit user Yuizun asked: 'How did you become your families black sheep?'
As much as most of our favorite movies and books like to portray beautiful, functional, unconditionally loving families, we didn't all come from households like that.
It can be especially hard to be singled out by your family, functional or not, as the root of all its problems.
Redditor Yuizun asked:
"How did you become your family's 'black sheep'?"
Family No Matter What
"My family on one side shares a toxic belief that no matter how bad someone treats you 'family is family' and you continue to associate anyway."
"My parent on that side was abusive, so as an adult, I chose to not have that parent in my life. At first, I was given the 'Yeah, they were wrong and treated you horribly, but...family' speech by a few relatives, but I stayed firm on staying away from this parent."
"I'm now basically disowned. I guess family is family unless you refuse to deal with your abuser, then you aren't family?"
- Orchidforever
Not the Right Kind of "Successful"
"I didn’t go to medical, dental, or law school, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Additional-Brief-272
"I don't want to be that guy, but I'll one-up you."
"My brother is the black sheep because he's not a surgeon. He decided to be a pediatrician. My father was actually disappointed in him."
- GeneralGrueso
Adoption Troubles
"I was adopted at birth. Black Sheep Status attained!"
"My parents 'settled' for an adopted child after failing to conceive a biological one. S**tty for me that they finally got pregnant with the long-desired biological kid very shortly after my adoption."
- 1derHamster
Age Gap Issues
"I'm kind of the automatic black sheep because of my age. I'm the oldest grandchild in the family and my mom had me when she was very young so by the time her siblings had children I was already 13."
"So I'm kind of an island of my own experiences in a different phase of life than everyone... too young to really hang with the adultier adults and too old to hang with all my cousins who are 13+ years younger than me."
"Growing up, it was very isolating. It's gotten a bit better now that all of us are older, but I still don't really feel like I belong especially well anywhere."
- HeraPlum
Being Introverted
"Being an introvert in a very extroverted family."
- ApplesPeaches
"Try being introverted at home, and extroverted at work, while your family knows this."
"So it's always just, 'We know you can do better, why are you always so quiet around us?'"
- Martina313
The Sibling Shadow
"When my older sister set the bar too high starting in second grade."
- FiremanBillBradley
"My brother was always in trouble at school. I was quiet and too shy to do anything but get my work done but whenever there was trouble in my classroom it was always said by a passing teacher, 'Oh, that's x's sister, bound to be her fault.'"
- Valuable_Recipe_1387
Making Big Moves
"I moved to Japan, which I thought was fine, but in my family's eyes I am the same as Al-Qaeda."
"No joke."
"The day before I moved to Japan, my dad said to me, 'IF YOU HATE AMERICA SO F**KING MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU JUST MOVE TO IRAQ AND JOIN AL-QAEDA!'"
"Like bro, chill the f**k out, I'm moving to teach English, gawd dayum."
"My parents have since calmed down, but my 24-year-old sister basically called me a traitor the last time we talked, and my 27-year-old sister said I'm a f**king id**t for moving to a country that isn't even free."
"My parents still make fun of Japan constantly and tell me they will never ever visit me here (to which I said cool, I guess I'll never see you again, because I'm not going to America until you visit me here) so yeah."
"Somehow I'm the black sheep for just like, doing what I want."
- Particular_Stop_3332
Mental Health Stigma
"I was open about suffering from severe depression."
- LadySygerrik
Toxic Family Members
"For refusing my sister's toxic behavior in my life."
"My family is the kind of family where the saying 'family is family' really is implemented."
"However, not with me. I tolerate what I want. If you are a piece of s**t, you don't deserve to be in my life. My family did not accept that and well, baaaah."
- Kitasuki
The Wrong College
"It was a long time ago... but my older sisters were attending Wharton and MIT at the time. The best I could do was Carnegie Mellon. I still remember the look of utter disappointment on my parents' faces."
- PluckPubes
Unapologetic Lifestyle
"Pursuing my constructive life passions and even morphing them into my work, making a good living at it, and being happy and unapologetic about it."
"Instead of doing something my parent thought I should be doing instead, something that wasn’t a 'waste of my time' like a 'real' job."
"I’m the only one of my siblings without a DUI or any other legal issues. Still the black sheep."
- LivingWithWhales
Breaking Generational Cycles
"For being significantly more mentally stable and responsible, and also not enabling or making excuses for a problematic relatives behavior."
- missesalchemist111
The Unplanned Pregnancy
"I was born and had needs and that was it."
- Sunsa249
"I was born as a result of high school sex. That was my fault. They weren't ready for me. Then I had needs like education and medical care and that was just asking too d**n much."
- literally_lite_rally
Black Sheep by Association
"By being born to my mother who was already a black sheep because she was born five years after her four siblings as a 'pleasant surprise.'"
"Most people don't become the black sheep. They're born it."
- Disig
Supportive Siblings
"Supporting my sibling when my stepparent was continually unfair about them. Went from being the unwilling favorite to ‘She Who Must Not Be Named.’"
"Thankfully my in-laws are amazing!"
- bad_dancer236
From ridiculous and petty reasons to larger social issues that a child never could have chosen for themselves, people have been turned into black sheep for all sorts of reasons.
The common thread for each of these people was their decision to value themselves over how they were being treated.
Clearly, the people viewing them as the black sheep didn't like having boundaries enforced around them.
CW: Suicide.
When it comes to our family histories, it seems like there are two kinds of people: those who have very little access to family documents and history, and those who know practically everything there is to know about what each of their family members has done since the dawn of time.
But even for those who seem to know everything, all families have their share of secrets.
And those secrets or more over-the-top stories can really enrich our understanding and appreciation of our families.
Redditor Careless_Put_4770 asked:
"What is the most interesting story you have of an ancestor (past your parent's generation)?"
A Dark Past
"The Uncle of my grandfather was part of Hitler's personal SS Corps."
- Eichelhaeher-Hermann
"I have a friend whose uncle of a grandfather was a bodyguard of Hermann Göring."
"He lost both his legs after he messed up and was sent to the Russian front as punishment, but still praised Hitler and the Nazis until he died."
"I also have an SS grandfather who dug up human remains at the Swiss border in 1941."
"Some general advice here: Don't ask your German friends about their family history. You're gonna have a bad time."
- Monarch-Of-Jack
Ranch Hand for Theodore Roosevelt
"I don’t know the date’s exactly off the top of my head but they’re written down at home."
"My Great Grandfather (Grandma's dad) was born in the Black Hills Germany. He allegedly killed a German officer and went on the lam to the United States."
"He worked as a ranch hand for Theodore Roosevelt for some years before he married my Great Grandma. He was gifted a buffalo rifle from Roosevelt which was taken by one of grandmas brothers after their dad died."
- Anonymous_Whale1
For the Woman He Loves
"My great grandfather killed my great grandmother's suitor and kidnapped her a night before her wedding."
"Apparently in the region of South India I'm from, women used to pick their future husband off a lineup of men wishing to marry her."
"My great grandfather was rejected by my great grandmother, and so he went about executing the dude chosen by her and kidnapping her, which apparently was seen as an extremely macho move."
"My Grandfather was born in 1896 so the time period would've been around 1860-1880."
- Glock_and_Dagger
An Impressive Gift
"My great-grandfather lost one of his arms during WW1, and right after the war, he decided to ask my great-grandmother to marry him."
"To show her how much he loved her, he decided to give her a really nice pair of shoes from a good shoemaker who lived in the countryside, and cars were not that common at the time."
"He took his bike and rode 70 kilometers (43 miles) to the closest big city to get her a really nice pair of shoes and rode 70 kilometers back with the box on his lap to give it to her. WITH ONLY ONE ARM."
"Pretty romantic, but that's not the end of the story."
"The shoemaker f**ked up big time and gave him two left shoes by accident, so my great-grandpa took his bike the next day, and did the 70 kilometers back and forth to exchange one of the shoes."
"And they lived happily married ever after."
"Every time I tell the story to someone married, they look at their husband with disdain, which I find pretty funny (I never told the story to any of my girlfriends, though)."
- Albescents
Family Lineage
"If you trace my family line back far enough you get to Norwegian royalty. It's a second son of a third son, kind of thing."
- LoveDistinct
A Supportive Family
"I come from a VERY conservative family, and when I realized I was gay, it terrified me to come out. I came out to my mom and she didn’t have an easy time handling it, but within 48 hours, she was my best friend and a strong advocate."
"The turnaround was very strange. She also told me to never be scared to tell anyone in the family, which again seemed like being set up for failure. But it really wasn’t. Everyone was super supportive and kind and very defensive of me."
"For years I wondered why and then one day I was at a family do with my grandmother and her four sisters, the Matriarchs of each branch of the family and the five most terrifying but loving women you ever met."
"They pulled me aside and we’re VERY interested in how I was doing if anyone in the family had been mean to me, and if anyone had given me a hard time about being 'special' as they called it."
"I said no, surprisingly everyone in the family had been lovely. They didn’t ask any more questions but told me to come to them if anyone was being mean."
"This was so overwhelming to see these elderly, super-conservative women being so supportive, so I cornered my mom and demanded to know why they were so nice."
"Then my mom told me about Ravi. Ravi was a beautiful, charismatic, loving, kind, sweet teenager who was my grandmother and her sisters' best friend in the 1940s. He was allowed to hang out with the women because he was 'not a threat' (he was super gay but you didn’t talk about it)."
"My gran and her sisters absolutely adored Ravi, until one day his personality changed. He became dark and withdrawn. Eventually, he killed himself."
"My gran and her sisters were devastated and didn’t know why, until they found out that Ravi had fallen in love with a boy and his parents had figured out. Ravi’s parents destroyed him psychologically through isolation, berating and eventually questionable medical interventions. Ravi’s soul was broken so he took his life."
"My grand and her sisters never ever forgave their community or Ravi’s parents for what they did to him, so when my mother called my grandmother weeping and screaming that I was gay, my grandmother came down on her like a ton of bricks with all the power and might that she could muster. She told my mother that if I was ever treated differently, If I was ever isolated or bullied by a member of the family, they would have to face the consequences of dealing with grandmother and her sisters."
"Her sisters also told all their children to treat me with respect and love, all without me knowing, because they never wanted anyone to go through what their best most loved male friend had all those years ago."
"I owe my happiness to that man, fly free my brother, wherever you are."
- Astro493
Such a Punch Line
"My Great-Grandmother had two suitors: a man in America and a man in Manchester, UK."
"The guy in America bought her a ticket to cross the Atlantic and be with him, and she was set to go, but at the last minute, the guy in England proclaimed his love and won her over."
"And that’s how my great-grandparents got together, as opposed to my great-grandmother dying on The Titanic."
- BigRagu79
A Pirate's Life for Me
"My great great great great grandfather was abducted by pirates as a boy and raised as one… in Canada. They were river brigands. My mom has a book on him."
"Her parents were from Czechoslovakian and Germany though, so I’m not sure how that happened. I always told people I was part pirate, though."
- iluvgrannysmith
A Wild Story
"Great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa Andrew threw rocks through his landlord's windows in Cork, jumped onto the next ship to Canada, started a farm on the Ottawa River, changed his surname to MacDonald so people would think he was Scottish, and imprisoned the tax collector in his cellar when they came to demand land taxes from him."
- ImperialistDog
Aerial Escape
"My grandad was an engineer for the British army in Egypt during World War Two."
"He and a buddy got drunk one time and slept in this small town, when they awoke they discovered the Germans had taken over the town. So they evaded capture and discovered an old plane that required maintenance, and the two ended up repairing the plane and flew it over German lines and into Allied territory."
- DeviousMelons
Wild, Wild West
"One of my ancestors was Curly Bill Brocious, the leader of the infamous Cowboys gang which fought against the Earps in and around Tombstone Arizona in the 1870s/80s."
"He was killed by Wyatt Earp himself by a shotgun blast that reportedly tore him in two."
- EppurSiMuove00
Family Trees
"My grandma (mother's side) was abandoned in an orphanage by my great-grandmother because she wanted to run off and marry another man, and he would not take her children. So my great grandfather, who was in the army during WW1, came to see them and promised to come back after the next battle. It was the somme, he died."
"The same grandmother did not know how old she was, by the time she obtained a copy of her birth certificate later in life, she found out she was a year older than she thought she was."
"My Dad's Grandfather was an advertising artist, semi-famous at the time, there is an original of his passed down in our family, it is with my dad's oldest brother now. It is of a boy running down a famous road in my northern city past a famous theatre still being used to this day."
- dracolibris
The Consequences of Love
"One of my great-grandmother’s grandma was an aristocrat. She fell in love with a peasant boy working on their lands. Her father told her he would disown her if she wanted to be with that boy. So one dark night the boy got my grandma escaped from their home and they ran away. Needless to say, she was disowned."
"And that’s the story of why I have to work now, instead of just seeing my monthly allowance show up on my bank account."
"Omnia vincit amor."
- Healthy_Chipmunk_990
Connections, Connections Everywhere
"My mom and my stepdad share an ancestor about four generations back."
"Also somewhere in this range, my great-[ex?]-grandma received a letter from her brother that had left Austria."
"He said, 'Come to America. If not for your sake, then for your children's sake.'"
" She talked her husband into it, they moved to the Midwest, and several generations later I was born."
- CrumblingInInverse
Anything's Possible
"I'm 34 but my paternal grandfather was born in 1895. He got shot through both knees sideways in Belgium during World War I then had to limp miles to safety... Sounds impossible but I have a newspaper article about it!"
"His brother also survived WWI, only to die in the Spanish flu pandemic. Sadly my grandfather died quite a while before I was born."
- Fit_Peanut_8801
It's amazing how far back some of our families go and how far back some families are able to trace their family's history. Knowing a little more about what our family has done can really tell us where we have been, so we can decide where we will go next.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Anyone who doesn't have children yet will be told by someone how magical and beautiful being a parent is. Some will even argue that a person's life has not begun until they have kids.
But as some parents will point out, life as a parent is not made up of all unicorns and rainbows, and it certainly doesn't always smell like roses.
Redditor Roxane-Rose asked:
"What is the worst part of being a parent?"
The Constant Worry
"The worry that something horrible will happen to them. Sickness, kidnapping, getting lost, etc."
- MelbaToast604
"Which never, ever goes away. Ever."
- marvelous_much
"Honestly, that's all I ever think about. I have four kids (8, 7, 5, and 1.5), and all I want is for them to become good people."
"I let my fianceé know all the time, our kids will be adults longer than they are children, so we gotta make sure we establish manners, morals, and empathy. We also gotta make sure they have fun."
"I love those little monsters, even tho they're a headache sometimes."
- bafeom
Overrun with Illness
"Being sick as an adult f**king sucks. Being sick and having a sick kid, takes it to a whole new level of suck."
- axron12
"Kids have an incredible ability to get really sick during the most inconvenient times."
- jgiffin
"Four years ago before Christmas, my wife got sick and it turned into pneumonia. She was in the hospital for three days."
"Very scary. I guess. I wouldn't know, I had the flu combined with a stomach bug and both of our boys had strep throat. They were 13 and 8 at the time. They took their meds well as I had alarms set. But I was down and out."
"Day two, I went to a clinic that said stomach bug. On day three, my father (I'm 35 at the time) came and took me to the ER and my sister took my kids."
"It was a nightmare. I couldn't visit my wife in the hospital. My kids called my dad cause I was laid out on the floor. Just a f**king nigtmare. Being sick when your kids are sick makes you feel like the most useless parent in the world."
- normaldeadpool
Inconvenient Injuries
"Kids getting injured at the most inconvenient times. My wife and I had the flu this winter and my three-year-old decided she was going to help us feel better at 3:30 AM by making us tea."
"She got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and dropped a glass teapot on the floor, lacerating her feet."
"So I got to have the flu at the hospital while my daughter got stitches."
- pavorus
Staying Safe
"Always having to be extra careful so that you don't cause them to experience the consequences of losing a parent too soon."
"Sometimes I just want to be dumb and impulsive, and having to always be responsible puts a damper on that some days."
- AJSawASquirrel
"I stopped all of my hobbies because of worrying about my kids well being. I used to ride motorcycles and dirt bikes. I used to play in an adult hockey league. I used to love going to see a concert or sporting event and having a few and taking public transport back."
"Not anymore. And not again until they are fully… like 100% capable of living without my support. I’m 42 and my four sons range from 10 to 19. It’s gonna be another 20 years before I get on a bike again."
"I love them, but it sucks."
- Jcholley81
School Safety
"The worry of picking a preschool that has 'enough' security and safety measures in place has wrecked me."
"We toured the school my toddler will go to this fall and the first thing I asked about is security: locked doors, escorting the kids individually into/out of the building, etc."
"It makes me sick to the stomach that I have to worry about that."
- vk2786
Constant Meal Planning
"Figuring out three meals, 8,000 snacks, 1,000 activities, and settling for the fact they won’t like, want, or do any of them."
- BurThe___Down
"The meals and snacks exhaust me. Constantly having to bring snacks everywhere when they are toddlers, and now that they are almost teenagers they are hungry all of the time. It never stops. I'm always at the grocery or planning meals or cooking meals. It's insanity!"
- Feetyoumeet
"I love to cook, but trying to keep a family fed is exhausting. Once I became a mom, I really started to understand why some people hate cooking."
- KatieCashew
Minimal Me-Time
"No or little free time."
- MissingCalifornia-
"I'm an introvert, I really need my me time to recharge."
"And I have a five-month-old baby that needs me at every moment of the day. I can sometimes get away with leaving him alone during the last hour of his afternoon nap (with the baby monitor on, as he's started rolling and it frightens me), but that's it."
"He needs his mama at all times and throws a fit for anyone else. He won't even really eat or sleep when his grandma takes care of him. I foresee his first month of nursery school being very unpleasant."
- ClancyHabbard
"I find myself staying up a lot later than I used to just because of the fact that I've always enjoyed solitude, and these days, I have very little. So once everyone falls asleep I often lose track of time as, 'Just a few minutes,' to myself turns into two hours before I know it."
- Pristine_Interview86
A Child's Persistence
"Relentlessness. Kids don’t stop, they don’t go away, they always need to be fed, and cleaned, and entertained. They are always there, for 21 years+, they are always there. Every single day, every single hour. Kids are always there."
- Rkozlow
"'Raising children is like getting pecked to death by ducks.' I don't know who first said it, but they knew parenting."
"When the kids were young, my wife and I used to quietly say, 'quackquackquack,' to each other when the relentlessness got a little too stressful."
- PaulsRedditUsername
"I call my child 'The Terminator.'"
- Greatbrandino11
"'That kid is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop… EVER, until you are dead!' - Kyle as a parent, probably."
- PaulClarkLoadletter
What Is Sleep, Again?
"Lack of sleep impacts your ability to do everything else so that’s going as number one."
" Number two, for me, is that sometimes, when they’re having a full-on breakdown because they don’t want to get in the bath they have literally every day on the one day you actually have to be somewhere, I look at them and really miss only taking care of me."
"I still love them, do not regret them, and would never ever tell them, but they make things so much harder than it needs to be because they do not give a crap about any priorities other than their own."
"When that happens I do some deep breathing and remind myself that they’re just little kids, of course, they don’t care about making other people wait."
- LastLadyResting
"The sleep deprivation."
"I'm serious, it wrecked me. I was already suffering from postpartum depression, and I was both breastfeeding and dealing with an unhelpful partner. I didn't sleep much until the baby was about a year old."
"Cognitively and emotionally, it destroyed me. I made stupid mistakes at work and as a parent. I didn't trust or like myself, or the baby."
"That's the number one reason he's an only child. I can't handle the lack of sleep."
"He's an amazing, creative, hilarious 15-year-old now; I love him and I love being the mom of a teenager. For one thing, he sleeps through the night."
- insertcaffeine
An Intro to Death and Grief
"Right now, for me... explaining the concept of death to my three-and-a-half-year-old."
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) is having their senior dog put down this week, and we have to explain, gently, that kiddo is going to go to Grandma's this week and the dog who has been there her whole life will be gone, and Grandma is going to be sad."
"Also the constant worry and anxiety. That s**t eats you alive."
"(But then you look at them and snuggle them and realize you BUILT A PERSON and my god is amazing. It's a love you will never be able to explain.)"
- vk2786
Excess Funds
"Not me, but my best friend told me the thing he hates the most about being a parent is just not having any money for him to spend on his wife."
"Before they had kids, he would surprise her with little gifts every now and again and it would make her so happy. Now he's starting to feel bad now that he can't do that anymore."
- Author_Story_Teller
Disciplining Them
"The guilt when you have to stand up to your kids and discipline them. It's never fun to see them sad."
- AlwaysNipping
The Imperfections
"The worst part of being a parent is realizing that you're never going to be perfect for them. You're only human yourself. You're weak, you're tired, you're fallible, just like them."
"And as such, you'll do/not-do something and you'll blow it out of proportion and crucify yourself, and you forget that you're just still human too."
"And in that moment, in that lapse in judgment, you'll regret yelling at them, you'll wish you played with them a little bit better, you'll regret getting frustrated and impatient, and you'll regret criticizing them. You'll miss them, wherever they are, whoever old they are."
"The worst part of being a parent is that you can't save them from yourself. It's all in the game of life, and every second of it takes effort and thoughtful energy."
"Some days will be better than others. This too, shall pass."
- Rpark888
Trying to Relate to Them
"As a father, when they were too young and I couldn't connect with them."
"When they are sick, need to undergo an operation... even a blood sample or a vaccine, it really breaks my heart to watch that."
"When you think you are doing that parenting thing right, but somehow your kid does the opposite as you expected."
"When your partner and yourself are not on the same page in terms of parenting and it creates conflicts in the couple."
- borsky
All of the Above
"It depends on what you are already lacking in life."
"Don't have a lot of money? Wait until daycare bills add up."
"Don't have a lot of free time or get much sleep? Welcome to being a zombie for a few years."
"Don't have much patience? You will be tested with every fiber of your being to shake your baby when it won't stop crying. You absolutely CANNOT do this by the way. It's better to put it down in a safe spot for a few minutes till you can do a few deep breaths and calm down and come back a bit more level-headed."
"Have a difficult time agreeing with your spouse on plans or values? Get ready for divorce or for eternal resentment."
"Not much of a sex life? Welcome to celibacy."
"My daughter is the light of my life and I have so much joy with her now that she sleeps through the night and has a personality, but being a dad is hard and I occasionally find myself in a panic attack because I'm nervous for what the h**l I'm gonna do in August when the new one is born. We are privileged in many ways but it's still so hard!"
- GMaharris
Parenting can be a beautiful, life-changing experience, but that does not mean that it's perfect, and it's absolutely not for everyone.
Conversations like this are important for people to have before they decide to have kids, so they can make the best decision for themselves and avoid those situations where uninformed people have kids, only to resent their children for the rest of their time together, which likely would lead to going no-contact.
Everyone has secrets -- those facts about themselves that they're either ashamed of or want to keep to private.
Some secrets are harmless and not even meant to be a secret -- it just so happens no one knows.
Others are shocking and may even make people look at your differnetly.
Redditors have some shocking secrets of their own, and they are ready to share them.
It all started when Redditor Difficult-House6853 asked:
"What’s a secret that would change how the people around you look at you if they knew?"
What Happened To Just Say No?
"In high school I kept my DARE pledge in my stash box until one day when I ran out of papers and used my pledge to roll a J."
– DanManKs
"How DARE you!!!"
– OkVolume1
Time To Leave
"All of my friends and family are Jehovahs witnesses, they think I am but I plan to leave. 85% of them will shun me when I leave."
– Allegedlystupid
"I hear you, left evangelicalism 20ish years ago. It’ll be scary and lonely at first but as you become the person you were meant to be instead of the person they told you to be, you’ll bond with others over shared interests and build new relationships. It takes time, be patient, but it’s worth it."
– Mr_Lumbergh
I Don't Wanna Know
"People think that I’m a good listener, and that just makes them say things to me that they really shouldn’t. I’m only listening because I don’t want to be rude, not because I care. Don’t tell me your family secrets, please."
– A_Guy_From_The_ME
No Rhyme Or Reason
"A few years ago, I went to the zoo during their Halloween celebration month where costumes were allowed. I dressed up as a zoo keeper. I told people that the penguins were animatronic. That when the giraffes get sick we feed them to the lions. I told a group of children that scientifically speaking, snakes and apples are cousins."
– Binder_of_chains
"I love how bizarre this is."
– Pickingupthepieces
The Horror!
"I like Cheese Whiz"
– Peckerhead321
"Not going to lie, I put that on an apple cider donut once as a gag... sh*t was soooo good. Like... I finished it. And thought about more. Never did it after that, but I think about it every now and then."
– BludgeIronfist
The Travesty!
"I’m a Philadelphian and I think cheesesteaks are soooo f*cking stupid. They’re really not that good. It’s the most okayest sandwich and people around here will steal your catalytic converter if you don’t succumb to their Philly cult."
– asking_for_it
"Can't argue with this but as a "born in Philly" guy, I get irrationally angry when food places serve "Philly Cheesesteaks" and their default toppings are green peppers and onions."
– MarcusAntione
Social Media Is Beneficial!
"How normal I've felt since I started using TikTok. I've learned so many things I berated myself for and told myself I was a freak are in fact things many, many other people do. There's really no unique life, everyone has something in common with someone."
– LordyIHopeThereIsPie
Superhero! Or A Dog...
"My sense of smell is off the charts. I can usually tell if someone showers in the morning or at night by the way their hair smells. If someone ate a yogurt in an auditorium hours prior but threw out the container in the trash and I walk in on the other side of the room I can smell the yogurt. My memory is also sense-driven. I remember people by their voices or scent, not their faces, or if there is something different about them (odd gait, odd body proportions, etc). My touch memory is also weird. Did I lock the front door? I focus on my hand and go through what my hand has felt in the past 20 minutes and if the feeling of locking the door is there I’m good. I’m literally a freak and if people knew how much of their behavior/body-oddities/scent I actually have no choice but to remember, everyone would look at me like I’m a monster."
– crashmurph
Alien! Or A Frog...
"I’m from a different planet… I just don’t want to be stereotyped as having big eyes and skinny legs and green, I’m not anything like that."
– AdditionalCheetah354
"You just described a frog"
– MN_Hotdish
"Do you have a waggy tail and floppy ears? Do you lollop when you run? You may be a labrador."
– The_Queef_of_England
"This is fascinating! The closest thing is I don't read by letters, but by shapes. So if two words have the same peaks and valleys, I have trouble reading it. It's also why I can read upsidedown at the same speed as right-side up."
– hobbes8889
Net Worth
"I’m a janitor. But I’m worth over a million dollars because I own real estate."
– Flashy-Weather3529
"Thats awesome. I work in Wealth Management, and one of the most surprising things I have learned is how people seem as though they are poor, but are just humble people living a simple life. A guy I work with regularly lives out of his van with his dog, drives all over the US and Mexico but has millions. One of my favorite people to interact with because he is so kind and mellow."
– ItsbeenBroughton
Check The 'Yes' Box
"I’m a convicted felon. Nothing violent, a white collar crime."
– PhotographIcy600
"F*ck people who disrespect felons. In the face or the law, you have served your sentence and redeemed yourself. The moment you step out of jail, your criminal record should not interfere with your life in any way (unless special security checks). Everyone deserves a second chance, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an absolute idiot with no empathy."
– S0crates420
Woof Woof
"I get more of a rush out of training my dog than any experience I've shared with humans. Dogs just feel more intense and genuine. when you look at them you know they are there, present, with you. There's only a handful of people I can say have ever even come close to that level of understanding and none of them managed to achieve it without words the way the dogs I've worked with can."
– Avengerwolf626
"As someone who always had a dog growing up and not that many friends or people around, the connection you get with a dog is probably the most honest and pure form of love one can experience. I can't have a dog right now and I miss that connection very much"
– JoStormBorn
It's all about the love!
Do you have any secrets you're to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments below.