Wikipedia Commons: Texaswebscout

Not all jokes need to be dirty. Comedians like Jim Gaffigan have built their whole careers out of never telling a rated-R joke. That's why when Reddit user, scarlett_j, asked for the cleanest jokes other knew, it lead to some PG-rated laughs:

What's a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?

You Have It With Fried Chicken

-Have you heard of Murphy's Law

-Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong

-What's about Cole's law?

-No

-It's a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream. K2P2C

What's Melania's Phrase?

The Secret Service just had to change protocol for when the president is in danger. Instead of yelling "Get down!" they have to yell, "Donald, duck!" ThroughDifferentEyes

And the Follow-Up....

Now that's just goofy. funkyforrest96

Car Humor

What happened to the man running in front of the car?

--He was tired

What happened to the man running behind the car?

--He was exhausted ListenToBoston

IGN

Makeup Test

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me. PTSDPillowGuy

Psychic Breakout

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large. eleanor61

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It Takes A Second...

I've been told I'm condescending.

(that means I talk down to people) iblinkyoublink

Wendy, I Can Fly!

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He Never Lands.

This joke never gets old. EskimoDave

Sole Theft

Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.  BoxxerUOP

Pirate Humor

What happened when the pirate attempted to recite the alphabet?

He got lost at 'c.' prior_plans

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It's All A Matter of Perspective

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me. KaboomBoxer

Say It Out Loud

What do we want?

Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?

NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW Tetragon213

Suck It, Trebek

'Knock knock'

'Who's there?'

'Dishes'

'Dishes who?'

'Dishes Sean Connery' PedroBriss

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The End Of All Things

So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world. Jefferncfc

Word Humor

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible. Rndomguytf

Blind Humor

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair. ImHully

Magical Puppies

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador. leahcure

Checking For Clarity

How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is it one or two? One... or two? Undescended_testicle

Clowns Are Scary. Not. Funny.

Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "I think we got this joke wrong." Moltenfirez

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Ants At A Pool

How do you tell the gender of an ant?

Put it in a glass of water. If it sinks its a girl ant. If it floats its buoyant. Mmmmmmsandwich

Might Need A Pen and Paper To Show Your Work

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have beer. PM_ME_TINY_DINOSAURS

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WAIT FOR IT...

one of my favorites. I heard it slightly differently and delivered verbally.

Person1: Ask me what's the most important thing in comedy.

Person2: What the most---

Person1: Timing 

luckytoothpick

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Final Wishes

Wanna know the last thing my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket?
"Wonder how far I can kick this bucket..." madurosnstouts

And Batting Cleanup

Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.

Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line"
Guy looks around, but there is no punch line. justacheesyguy

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H/T: Reddit

Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash

Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.

He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.

Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?

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Caleb Woods/Unsplash

Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.

Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.

However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:

"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."

Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.

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Ann on Unsplash

Breaking up is something that never gets easier.

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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.

Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"

But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.

And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.

So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.

That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.

Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:

What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
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