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Not all jokes need to be dirty. Comedians like Jim Gaffigan have built their whole careers out of never telling a rated-R joke. That's why when Reddit user, scarlett_j, asked for the cleanest jokes other knew, it lead to some PG-rated laughs:

What's a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?

You Have It With Fried Chicken

-Have you heard of Murphy's Law

-Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong

-What's about Cole's law?

-No

-It's a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream. K2P2C

What's Melania's Phrase?

The Secret Service just had to change protocol for when the president is in danger. Instead of yelling "Get down!" they have to yell, "Donald, duck!" ThroughDifferentEyes

And the Follow-Up....

Now that's just goofy. funkyforrest96

Car Humor

What happened to the man running in front of the car?

--He was tired

What happened to the man running behind the car?

--He was exhausted ListenToBoston

IGN

Makeup Test

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me. PTSDPillowGuy

Psychic Breakout

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large. eleanor61

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It Takes A Second...

I've been told I'm condescending.

(that means I talk down to people) iblinkyoublink

Wendy, I Can Fly!

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He Never Lands.

This joke never gets old. EskimoDave

Sole Theft

Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.  BoxxerUOP

Pirate Humor

What happened when the pirate attempted to recite the alphabet?

He got lost at 'c.' prior_plans

via GIPHY

It's All A Matter of Perspective

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me. KaboomBoxer

Say It Out Loud

What do we want?

Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?

NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW Tetragon213

Suck It, Trebek

'Knock knock'

'Who's there?'

'Dishes'

'Dishes who?'

'Dishes Sean Connery' PedroBriss

via GIPHY

The End Of All Things

So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world. Jefferncfc

Word Humor

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible. Rndomguytf

Blind Humor

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair. ImHully

Magical Puppies

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador. leahcure

Checking For Clarity

How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is it one or two? One... or two? Undescended_testicle

Clowns Are Scary. Not. Funny.

Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "I think we got this joke wrong." Moltenfirez

via GIPHY

Ants At A Pool

How do you tell the gender of an ant?

Put it in a glass of water. If it sinks its a girl ant. If it floats its buoyant. Mmmmmmsandwich

Might Need A Pen and Paper To Show Your Work

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have beer. PM_ME_TINY_DINOSAURS

via GIPHY

WAIT FOR IT...

one of my favorites. I heard it slightly differently and delivered verbally.

Person1: Ask me what's the most important thing in comedy.

Person2: What the most---

Person1: Timing 

luckytoothpick

via GIPHY

Final Wishes

Wanna know the last thing my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket?
"Wonder how far I can kick this bucket..." madurosnstouts

And Batting Cleanup

Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.

Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line"
Guy looks around, but there is no punch line. justacheesyguy

via GIPHY

H/T: Reddit

Image by Mary Pahlke from Pixabay

There are few things more satisfying than a crisp $20 bill. Well, maybe a crisp $100 bill.

But twenty big ones can get you pretty far nonetheless.

Whether it's tucked firmly in a birthday card, passing from hand to hand after a knee-jerk sports bet, or going toward a useful tool, the old twenty dollar bill has been used for countless purposes.


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Image by Jan Vašek from Pixabay

I realize that school safety has been severely compromised and has been under dire scrutiny over the past decade and of course, it should be. And when I was a student, my safety was one of my greatest priorities but, some implemented rules under the guise of "safety" were and are... just plain ludicrous. Like who thinks up some of these ideas?

Redditor u/Animeking1108 wanted to discuss how the education system has ideas that sometimes are just more a pain in the butt than a daily enhancement... What was the dumbest rule your school enforced?
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Image by Angelo Esslinger from Pixabay

One of the golden rules of life? Doctors are merely human. They don't know everything and they make mistakes. That is why you always want to get another opinion. Things are constantly missed. That doesn't mean docs don't know what they're doing, they just aren't infallible. So make sure to ask questions, lots of them.

Redditor u/Gorgon_the_Dragon wanted to hear from doctors about why it is imperative we always get second and maybe third opinions by asking... Doctors of Reddit, what was the worse thing you've seen for a patient that another Doctor overlooked?
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Image by nonbirinonko from Pixabay

When we think about learning history, our first thought is usually sitting in our high school history class (or AP World History class if you're a nerd like me) being bored out of our minds. Unless again, you're a huge freaking nerd like me. But I think we all have the memory of the moment where we realized learning about history was kinda cool. And they usually start from one weird fact.

Here are a few examples of turning points in learning about history, straight from the keyboards of the people at AskReddit.

U/Tynoa2 asked: What's your favourite historical fact?


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