Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Who doesn't love being told something nice?

There's a level of comfort you have to possess to receive a compliment. Maybe the discomfort comes with the person you're receiving it from like they're saying something about they know nothing about. Or perhaps its a part of yourself you haven't quite come to grips. Either way, nothing worse than being told something "nice" you don't want to hear.

Reddit user, u/eflor52, wanted to know what you don't like being told when they asked:

what's a compliment you don't like receiving and why?

Physical appearances are trick to comment on. On one hand you want to say that a person looks nice, but you may not grasp the inner battle they're going through.

Unable To See Your Mistake

"You look so good without your glasses!" Great, cause I wear my glasses literally every day."


I'm My Own Person

"When people try to make my disability into an inspiration. I don't exist to inspire people, particularly healthy people, to "keep going". I'm just a person, doing my best with what I'm given."


I'm Not Fun-Size

"You're so cute and small!"

"I am 150 cm or 4'11 and I kinda look like a 14 year old girl, but I'm actually a 20 year old woman. So hearing I am small and cute makes me feel not taken seriously and that they don't see me as an adult."


These sorts of compliments the person hates receiving usually come from a place of well-meaning intent, but you might be touching some kind of nerve you didn't know was there. A nerve the individual receiving the compliment has been doing their best to avoid for some time.

"Do You Even Know How Smart I Am In Spanish?" - Gloria Pritchett

"Being a minority who was born in the US. "Wow your English is really good"


"As an immigrant that came to US when I was young, that "compliment" just makes me question whether my English is bad enough to make me stand out as needing that compliment. Outside of certain context it's just better off not said."


They're Twins. Not Clones.

"People who know my sibling and meet me always compliment my appearance. Like, obviously mentally comparing us and choosing between us. Why these people have to say such shallow things and make their own friend jealous and resentful is beyond me."

"I also despise people who compliment one of my twins and then immediately badger the other one about not having the exact same achievement at the exact same time. Almost trying to set them against each other, for no damn reason."


Too Nice?

"You're nice" "You're too nice" "You're so polite"

"I feel like this is just a nice way of saying that I'm a pushover"


Then there's these which are maybe the most misguided ones you could offer. Probably best to say nothing than say anything in these situations.

No, Listen To Me, It's Prac--

As a musician, "oh you're so talented! I can't understand how some people are so good at music"


"Oh but it must be talent"

"Nono, I practice, that's why I'm -"

"Ig we'll never know!"


I Know Me Better Than You Know Me

"But you would make such a great mother!"

"I literally just told you I would be a terrible parent. I know this about myself. You do not need to sugarcoat it for me. I don't care if your limited interaction with me while I'm on my best social behavior makes you think I would be a good mom. You have not seen my darkest days and you never will. Next time you feel the urge to say something like this, instead say, "I'm glad you know yourself well and choose not to take on a commitment you don't feel comfortable with." Hear me when I tell you we are protecting ourselves and potential kids by choosing to not become parents."


Canned Response To Uncomfortable Situations

"Thank you for your service"

"It sounds like a canned response whenever someone finds out I'm a veteran, like "Nice to meet you" or "Sorry for your loss". I get that these sort of things are basically written into the social contract and I'm not one to rock the boat and therefore try to erase them form basic social interaction but I sometimes feel a little uncomfortable when someone says it and the only thing I can think of to say is "No need to thank me. I was proud to serve" which, while true, is sort of something personal that again makes me feel a little uncomfortable."

"I've gotten to the point that I try to avoid mentioning military and wartime service as much as possible just to avoid that sort of thing. Hell, I've been living in my house for over 5 years and I don't think any of my neighbors know I'm a war veteran."


No matter what your intended notions were, if a person doesn't enjoy being told something, then your best option is to apologize, say you meant well, and move on. Don't try to push the compliment forward like they have to accept it.

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