When your life truly flashes before your eyes....
[rebelmouse-image 18346863 is_animated_gif=What do you do, exactly? Just sit there and be terrified? It's scary because you probably don't know what to do. But how alone are you in having these moments?
Not very. u/9gaguserwink asked:
[Serious] People of reddit, what moment made you instantly think "This is the moment I die"?
Here were some answers.
The Road Ahead
[rebelmouse-image 18347330 is_animated_gif=It was in the mid-1980s. Riding a bicycle to work during the morning rush hour. Two lanes in the same direction, speed limit is 35. A woman pulls ahead of me and turns right. Her bumper hooked my front tire and I flew off the bike into traffic. My life did not flash before my eyes but I remember thinking, "I really don't want to die right now!" I heard tires squealing and popped up to get out of the road. The woman stopped about 20 feet down the road, got out of her car and said, "Did I hit you?" I could only numbly shake my head yes. Her response was a sing-song "Sorry". She got back in her car and drove off. I had landed on my left elbow and left hip. It was about a month before I could walk without pain.
Sage Advice
[rebelmouse-image 18347331 is_animated_gif=When I crashed my motorcycle on the Long Island Expressway going 65 MPH. As I flew over the handle bars I said to myself "well, it's been a good life". Wear a helmet tough guys.
The Helmet
[rebelmouse-image 18347332 is_animated_gif=I was wearing a helmet which saved my life. I had a sore neck and shoulders and some cuts on my chin. I rolled off the guy's trunk within inches of the cars in the next lane, but fortunately nobody hit me. I was one lucky SOB. My bike was caught in mid air between the car behind me and the idiot in front who slammed on his brakes, which is why the accident happened. My bike was totaled.
Chicken Salad Spells Doom
[rebelmouse-image 18347150 is_animated_gif=Was home alone and chocked on a bite of sandwich. Couldn't inhale, exhale, or cough for about 30 seconds before it dislodged. Seriously thought I was going to die alone eating a sandwich.
Total Luck
[rebelmouse-image 18346555 is_animated_gif=I was in Peru on the beach alone and some guys walking towards me with machetes and bandanas...not off to a great start. After they robbed me they ripped my shirt off and the leader rested his machete on my shoulder. Then they just walked away.
Lifes a little brighter every day now folks.
Lymey
[rebelmouse-image 18347333 is_animated_gif=Came down with Lyme complete with rash and fever. Got antibiotics and 12 hours later came down with a severe migraine and painful, stiff neck, and severe vertigo, and couldn't remember where I was. I don't know how I didn't die but at the time I thought I was going to and just accepted it.
Donut Take Big Bites
[rebelmouse-image 18347334 is_animated_gif=15 years old working at a Dunkin' Donuts. Choked on a strawberry sprinkled donut. Performed self Heimlich maneuver.
Flips And Motion
[rebelmouse-image 18347337 is_animated_gif=Was in the passenger seat of a GMC Chevy Trailblazer that was traveling at 90+ mph when someone pulled out in front of us and stopped. Brakes locked up, she snatched the wheel. The moment the tires left the pavement as we started our first flip, I remember thinking 'f-ck, this is it.'
We ended up on the roof, I had to climb back into the truck to drag the driver out as the ceiling was filling with gas.
I somehow walked away with only a few scratches from crawling out of the glass.
Clotted Steam
[rebelmouse-image 18347338 is_animated_gif=When I had a stroke/TIA. I had just finished a workout and was standing next to the row machine, my leg started to feel weak and I collapsed. My wife, ran over, I could barely talk, whole left side of my face was drooping, I could lift my left arm but not work my hands. Luckily it passed in 10-15 seconds, went to the hospital found out I have a PFO (hole in your heart) which is probably how the clot got through. They said I won the lottery since chances are so small for that to happen.
PB And Death
[rebelmouse-image 18347339 is_animated_gif=Used to eat peanut butter and raisins mixed together as a snack. Just spoonfuls of the mixture into my mouth.
One day it got stuck down my throat. It somehow blocked me from getting air through my nose or mouth and it literally felt like several needles had embedded themselves into my throat. It wouldn't budge no matter how much I tried to work my throat.
Panic set in and my heart felt like it would explode from pounding so hard.
When the black spots started dancing over my vision my exact thought was, "This is such a stupid way to die."
Somehow, the peanut butter glob slid down my throat far enough to suck in air through my nose, and if you can imagine it, I literally had to work my neck like a chicken to make the rest of the glob move down.
I haven't eaten the peanut butter raisin mixture in about 7 years and I never will again.
Just Casual Blowing Up
[rebelmouse-image 18346351 is_animated_gif=I got blown up.
I'm a volunteer firefighter and at a house fire, there was some kind of an explosion (likely a smoke explosion from what we could tell).
We had been there quite some time, well past the point where a backdraft would be possible...but suddenly something wasn't sitting right with me about the situation.
My partner and I were standing on the front stairs to the house. I looked at her and told her to "pack up". She asked why and I said "I don't like the look of this."
I got my mask on and was on air, turned back around and there was a wall of orange rushing towards me.
It was an explosion. It blew me out of the front door where I was standing and down the steps.
I stand 6'1 and weighed about 280 lbs at the time.
All I remember is I was looking up at the sky after having just been standing on the stairs.
I was ok for the first few minutes, but after I walked away and was alone with my thoughts, I started trembling and shaking, realizing that I came moments away from quite possibly being horribly injured or killed.
I don't know why my gut instinct told me to put my pack on, but I am so glad it did.
Destructo
[rebelmouse-image 18347341 is_animated_gif=August 13, 2004, at approximately 3:15 PM. I was living in Port Charlotte, FL, less than a mile from the gulf coast. Hurricane Charlie had made landfall, and the eye was passing over my house. I was in the bath tub, in a mason block brick house. And I could feel the entire house moving. I could feel the pressure changing. I heard destruction all around as the storm tore through the area, while the radio warned anyone in the area listening to hunker down.
I sat there waiting for the house to collapse on me. My only hope was that they found my body quickly so my mother wouldn't have to worry long if I had survived or not, because I knew any moment would be my last.
Then, the eye passed directly over. It was calm, peaceful, still. The destruction outside my home is difficult to describe, even all these years later.
Pileup
[rebelmouse-image 18347342 is_animated_gif=Driving on my old Camaro on the interstate on the left lane, I go over this long tall bridge, traffic is backed up and the line of cars ends up at the bottom of the bridge.
I'm the last car of the traffic jam, I look in the rearview mirror an 18 wheeler is coming up behind me pretty fast, brakes locked, from where I am I can see the smoke and the jitter of the cab as he's sliding, concrete divider on the left cars on the right, no way out... as I'm getting ready to brace for impact traffic starts to move, the truck didn't need to stop but it got really close to my rear bumper.
Trigger Warning: PTSD
[rebelmouse-image 18347343 is_animated_gif=1969. Vietnam. In a bunker. Next year it will be 50 years, yet I still think of it each night before I go to sleep.
How Scary
[rebelmouse-image 18347344 is_animated_gif=Snowboarding when I was 18. Took a nasty fall, my elbow hit my gut knocked the wind outta me. Kept snowboarding for an hour as my gut still hurt. Brother drove me to the emergency room. Got me on the operating table and had to take a shit. Hot nurse gets my carharts off puts a bed pan under me. Two minutes later I go blind and tell the nurse. She says "your spleen is lacerated, you're in shock and your body is shutting down." Then yells for a dose of epinephrin and says "we're losing him!"
"thats cool" came out of my mouth. This is when I knew this might be my finale. Handled it like a champ.
Doctor later told me had I showed up 10-15 minutes later they woulda lost me. Yikes.
That hot nurse who put a bed pan under me? Couple days later was on morphine and I hit on her. Told her that the fiance didn't love her as much as I would.
Tower Of Terror Turbulence
[rebelmouse-image 18347345 is_animated_gif=Had a plane get delayed for over an hour for a mechanical issue. When we were flying we hit the worst turbulence I have ever felt (and I fly more than the average bear). The plane was literally dropping and people were coming out of their chairs. I thought we were going down. I was never scared of flying before and now I always get nervous.
The Venom Spreads
[rebelmouse-image 18347346 is_animated_gif=I got bite by a water moccasin while picking up a tire on the side of highway very far from a hospital with only a slow ATV as transportation.
Farewell Ohio
[rebelmouse-image 18347347 is_animated_gif=When I was traveling North on 75 in Ohio in the middle of a snow storm surrounded by semi-trucks and everything electrical in my car died at once. I lost power steering, headlights, acceleration, everything.
Cars Are Terrible
[rebelmouse-image 18347348 is_animated_gif=Was entering the highway, doing about 55. I went to switch lanes to pass a semi and hit black ice. When I saw the median out of the windshield I knew I was f-cked. I heard, "so this is how it ends" in my head, dropped my hands into my lap and tried to relax my body just in case I lived through whatever was about to happen, but the feeling of dread and doom in my gut said this was game over.
The SUV flipped 4 1/2 times. The roof was less than half an inch from crushing my skull when it finally stopped rocking. I literally walked away from that accident though I've had physical issues with my back, neck, and head ever since. Sadly my dog was with me for that ride. He was thrown from the vehicle and severely cut up. A police officer took him to an emergency vet while I was taken to the emergency room. They had to put Bailey down. He was one of the bestest good bois. RIP pooch.
There Is A Tree Grows Aslant A Brook
[rebelmouse-image 18347350 is_animated_gif=White water rafting in Colorado.
Decided midway through to use the inflatable kayak the guide had. Was fine until literally the last set of rapids that were probably a class 4 and I'm used to about a 3.
Navigate them just fine until the last stretch that basically spins my nose and tosses me in the river. I'm instantly shocked to the bottom about 10 to 15 feet down. It was much deeper than I expected.
The second I realized I was at the bottom of the river I had one single thought cross my mind, "if you panic you die".
I've been tossed and swam in rapid before but this was something else. Had to fight to get to the surface while making sure I didn't get trapped or pinned by any rocks or debris under water.
Finally get to the surface and I'm under the kayak so can't break the surface.
Finally get the kayak out for over me and break the surface about a minute after I've been under.
I managed to collect all.my gear and the kayak, link up with my party behind me, and get to shore, all without losing the sun glasses off my head the whole time!
Once on the shore the guide asks me again if I'm okay. I say I'm fine but it was intense. He nods and asks if I think I could have done it without the life vest. I tell him maybe but it would have been much harder. He then quietly tells me a kid died in that exact spot one week ago that day.
I wasn't surprised but was spooky.
Adults Who Still Need A Stuffed Animal To Go To Sleep Share Their Experiences
Reddit user Old-Horse1185 asked: '34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental object. Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?'
Stuffies, plushies, stuffed animals, or plush toys; whatever you might call them, we likely all can remember a fluffy friend we had in our childhood.
But some adults might have carried their childhood friend into adulthood, or even made others along the way, and they might even still go to sleep with them at night, too.
Redditor Old-Horse1185 asked:
"34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental objects."
"Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?"
The Twin Bond
"My twin sister died when I was 18. Ten years later, I still sleep with her unicorn pillow pet, she gets a nice spot on the bed, and I'd never be with someone who made me feel bad about having it. Only my girlfriend is trusted enough to give pillow pet a bath."
- insomniacinsanity
"My twin brother died when we were seven, and I used to have a specific stuffie that was given to him by an American lady who worked in the hospital he was in, but it got damaged in a house move when I was a teenager and was unsalvageable."
"It was a limited-run stuffie that you could only get in a specific American store in the 90s, so it was basically irreplaceable. My husband, 10+ years later and without letting on, tracked one down and paid a silly amount of money to have it shipped to the UK and gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago."
"I sleep with it every d**n night. I'm mid-30s, and I'll never stop."
- beesandsids
Keeping Them Close
"My partner passed away a few weeks ago, and I now cuddle his shirts that still have his scent. When my son spends the night with his grandparents, I also cuddle w his blanket or the pillow he sleeps on."
- anonmomanonnin
Cuddles and Fidgets
"My grandma made me a pillow when I was born. She sewed the pillow together and the pillow case, which had kittens all over it."
"I’m 33 years now she passed when I was 31, and I sleep with the same pillow in my arms every night."
"The pillow case is worn to bits because I guess I use it as a fidget thing I rub in between my fingers. Yes, I’m weird."
- Valuable_Panda_4228
From the Beyond
"I bought my wife a big stuffed seal for our first Valentine's Day. This seal has a slight green tint to it, so we named him Sealo Green. She had Sealo for a couple of years before she passed away."
"I hug Seal-o every night and pray to my wife, tell her about my day, things coming up, etc. I'll start using her perfume on Sealo soon, so I can smell her while I pray to her. My heart can't take it right now."
- Cubbycupcake-Uther
A Gift from Grandma
"I am one. My grandma gave all the grandkids a cat plush. A cat food brand had a promotion, if you bought enough cat food you'd get a free plushie. With 14 grandkids, a lot of food was bought to get there. Her cats didn't complain though, lol (laughing out loud)."
"I still sleep with it, it's a feeling of comfort, safety, and home."
- DavyJonesLocker2
An Evolving Friendship
"Stuffed dog I've had since my mom was squeezing him while giving birth to me. That dog has seen some s**t."
"He's a 'Sad Sam,' and his eyes used to break my heart when I was a kid, so I buried him under other stuffed animals or made him face the wall so I wouldn't have to look at him."
"Then I felt really guilty because I didn't want him to feel punished when all he wanted was to be loved. So I've been sleeping with him for almost 40 years now."
"I recently bought an original one off eBay to see the comparison and man, I have loved the daylights out of that dog!"
- dumdadumdumAHHH
A Special Bond
"I now sleep with my girlfriend's stuffed bunny she has had since birth. He’s my best friend now! I love you, Bootstin!!"
- silversauce
"Aww, that's awesome. My partner is the only person I've ever been with who didn't make me feel like crap for still having my blanket. When I travel, I leave it with them, and I think they probably cuddle up with it as much as I do after a rough day."
- the_Ozz
Keeping a Partner Close
"Sometimes when I take a nap and my wife doesn't, I'll take her pillow to sleep with because I like the smell."
"It smells like baby powder, vanilla, and her."
- TrailerParkPrepper
Very Considerate
"Huge jellycat bears. I don’t even wanna, but I’m just afraid I’ll hurt their feelings if I don’t."
- CommonAd9606
"As a kid, I routinely slept with a zillion stuffed animals on the bed because I didn’t want any of them to feel left out."
- PumaGranite
"As a kid? I'm 26 and still have to hug them all as I go to sleep or they'll feel left out!"
- Scymber
Lower Back Pain
"I sleep with a body pillow (plain cover). Doctor recommended it a few years ago to help with my lower back pain and it really does help."
- HappyTimeHollis
"I sleep with a body pillow but it's an alligator. My grandparents gave it to me when I was 11 years old. It has a huge open mouth you can put your arm through or use to prop your phone. Had it 24 years. Love it to death."
- smoretank
Full Body Support
"Squishmallows. I have sciatica and they're great for when I go to bed. I put one between my knees at night (side sleeper) and I snuggle up with one."
- Raging_Utahn
Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty
"I'm not one to sleep with plushies, but my cat likes to snuggle up to me and sleep with his fluffy little head on my shoulder."
- imaybeacatIRL
"Cats have to count. My previous cat actually slept as the little spoon, snuggled in my arms."
- disapprovingfox
The Long-Distance Relationship
"I am a guy, I recently got to sleep with a stuffed animal for a week, I won't go into the details as to why or how, just know that I lovvveeeed it. I would get called a weirdo if I confess to this to the world, so I have kept this to myself and my bestie only."
"The stuffed animal was a large teddy bear, since then it has been taken away and now it is placed in the living room, my bedroom has one small stuffed toy that I sleep with, it's not super large and not as comfortable as the teddy but it works."
"It makes me feel good and less alone, the closest person in the world to me is 700km away, what I'm about to say is weird but hugging the teddy and pretending it's her makes me calm and makes me want to sleep."
- uninformed-but-smart
Build a Friend... with IKEA
"Ikea Hippo, Ikea Elephant. The Ikea bigs are the superior sleep companion. I also have the shark, but he is not right for my shoulder when cuddling so he guards."
- pm-me-neckbeards
"I also keep my Ikea shark on guard at night! The Ikea octopus is the guard when I sleep at my boyfriend’s house."
- jeff-buckleys-teeth
A Comfort Become Real
"When I was a toddler, I got a stuffed animal as a present from my uncle. It was a light brown rabbit with button eyes and ears with rainbow stripes on the inside. I'm unsure of when I got it, but I was either one to two years old or four years old."
"I don't know how or why, but it had a distinct scent, not particularly noticeable unless you shoved your face in its fur, like I did, haha. As I grew up, I needed to have this rabbit with me or I would not be able to sleep. I remember this one time when I couldn't find it in time for bed, and I was so distressed trying to fall asleep that I started hallucinating."
"Over time she lost an eye, her ears became frayed, her fur fell out in patches, and she looks like a well-loved creature (because she is) or hot garbage, depending on who you ask."
" Even in my rebellious teen years, I couldn't pretend to dislike her because the scent and texture of her fur gave me a feeling of comfort and safety, even when it felt like everyone was against me."
"I live by myself now at age 34 and you better believe I still keep her in my bed. The scent is gone but sometimes I can trick my brain into thinking it's still there, and when I touch the texture of her fur, I will still get a wave of comfort and reassurance the same way I did as a child."
"It's amazing not only how humans will bond with anything, but also the effect these things will have on a person."
"This got sappy, my apologies."
"PS: Her name is Ninni."
- Mwuuh
"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'"
"I'm reminded of this quote from 'The Velveteen Rabbit.'"
- tinycole2971
While everyone might feel a little silly about their sleeping arrangements, most of those who still sleep with a cuddly friend have spent a great deal of their life with their companion already.
From sentimental reasons to physical needs, everyone needs comforted from time to time, and there's nothing quite like the unconditional love of a favorite stuffie friend.
Working remotely from home certainly has its advantages, including not having to endure traffic and deal with coworker drama.
But many people found that during the pandemic, the isolation of working from home left little to be desired.
People who have jobs requiring them to commute every day and arrive at the workplace are given the opportunity to be social and feel like they're a part of society.
But being a part of a work environment can come with its own unique occupational hazards.
Curious to hear from strangers in the workforce, Redditor AMGBOI69420 asked:
"What’s the most f'ked up thing you’ve seen at work?"
People in medical professions draw on their endless list of shocking events.
The Crazy Patient
"I was sorting all the psych patients that were hospitalized in my state, and got to this guy: a teenager or maybe a bit older, and he got sent to the ward because he suddenly got aggressive and started to have some episodes that he squirmed in pain/took off his clothes and things like that. Before being hospitalized he was complaining about these things, but nothing the medics did was working and nothing wrong was found, so it should be a psychiatric issue, no?"
"Wrong, he was put in the ward for 2 or so years and lost a lot of his life, being considered insane, because he developed a rare spinal cancer that was hard to detect and caused him extreme pain. Really f'ked up, I don't remember what happened to him afterward, but I not really optimistic that it had an happy ending."
– vtomal
The First Aid Officer Who Couldn't Unsee These
"I was a first aid officer in a corporate job."
"Elderly pedestrian hit by a car in our car park: compound tib fib fracture that tore through her calf muscle"
"Deep laceration with arterial bleeding after some idiot from another department tripped and dropped a metal first aid down a flight of stairs during a fire drill."
– W2ttsy
Patient Left Against Medical Advice
"Patient comes in to the ER, gets full sepsis workup. His chemistries are all f'ked up, he required a manual white cell count because his was so high the analyzer basically said 'WTF?!', his urine was full of white cells and bacteria. You know, your classic 'old person UTI that's gone septic.' We figure he's going to be admitted. Nope, they send him home. Mind you, this was not a case of 'patient left AMA (against medical advice),' this was just the doctor said 'Yeah, seems like you've got a UTI. Go home and drink some cranberry juice.'"
"Two days later, the same patient comes in, with the same complaint. Gets the same blood and urine tests. While I'm doing the manual white cell count, the phone rings. It's the reference lab down the street. The blood cultures on the patient I'm currently working on from two days prior have come up positive. I take the notification and call the ER to let them know. Us labbies figure he's going to be admitted for sure this time. Come to find out, they sent him home again. (Again, not an AMA, a 'Go home and drink some cranberry juice.')"
– coffeeblossom
Those in customer service share their shocking eye-witness accounts.
Trailblazer
"I worked at one of the busiest Walmarts in the country during Spring Break for 6 years... I wouldn't even know where to begin."
"I guess the drunk lady leaving the bathroom with her pants around her ankles while actively sh*tting as she walked across the front of the building and back outside into the wild."
"None of the workers wanted to deal with it so they parked a shopping cart over each turd until the cleaning crew came in."
– UncleGrako
Slimy Salespeople
"Worked at a Nissan dealership where most salespeople where slimy POS. One senior citizen with a veteran ballcap was working on a deal for a car for his grandkid. Nice old guy got tired and fell asleep in the chair waiting for the salesguy to work out the deal with the sales managers. One of the managers from the bullpen walks by and farts right in the sleeping old mans face then runs back to the bullpen where everyone was watching and laughing. It was disgusting, I told the sales guy who I knew was a Iraq vet. He went to the bull pen and screamed in the face of every single one of those f'kers. He screamed so much at them I thought he was gonna pass out."
– adrielago
Work environments can be extremely dangerous.
"Once saw someone step into a bucket of hot fryer oil, it got into their shoes and everything. Was so bad that when they took the shoe off it peeled of skin with it. The person had 2nd and I believe 3rd degree burns. He never came back but I saw the pictures and it was horrific."
– Mrlionscruff
"I worked at a printing manufacturer and saw something like this happen in person, the guy had his right arm shredded. The wrench in his other hand stopping the machine is the only reason he didn't go all the way through. Later that month a 2400lbs paper roll was dropped on a coworker in front of me. I'm glad to be out of that job."
– Beullersghost
Threatening The Employee
"I worked at a Goodwill for a few years, we had lots of drug addicts trying to shoot up in the changing room and had an occasional OD."
"But the most shocking thing I experienced was the amount of times people physically threatened or attacked me or my co-workers when we refused their donations. Getting in our faces and trying to push us around, one guy tried to hit someone with a car. Another one threw a picture frame that narrowly missed smashing my supervisor's head, another threw such a temper tantrum that he smashed an entire set of chairs and a kitchen table."
"There was also someone who called the police because we changed the prices on soft-cover books."
– carefulwithyrbananas
T.M.I.
"Saw one guy drop dead (office job)"
"One get an arm cut off (Pulp mill)"
"One get de-gloved (Paper mill)"
"But the winner was the day we walked into work at an auto parts store and found the assistant manager f'king another assistant manager. Just going at it."
– Bigdaddyjlove1
Mechanical Nightmare
"Box cutting job saw a guy die after losing his arm to the machine. I still to this day dont know how my room mate at the time kept going to work for another few weeks before quitting."
"We'd go to work stoned off our a**es everyday. And seeing that guy die was a nope for me. I knew it was far to easy for the same mistake to happen to me stoned. Wasn't gonna get sucked in and die for 15 bucks an hr."
"Any heavy machinery related jobs since Ive made sure to ask about work related accidents and how common they are along with when the last one happened."
– idontneedjug
When I was a parade performer at certain theme park, we performed on a day when it was reportedly record-breaking heat, and some of my fellow performers who were dancing atop a couple of the floats collapsed and passed out from heat stroke in view of guests.
It was the scariest thing to see several paramedics bursting onto the scene and taking these unconscious young performers being carried away in stretchers.
Since then, the park instituted a code-90 protocol where the choreography was modified whenever the temperature hit 90 degrees.
Be it desperation, self-indulgence, or simply optimism, many people never leave home without a condom.
If the chances of "getting lucky" are much more likely at some places than others, one never knows where or when they might hit it off with someone.
Including a funeral.
Bizarre and tasteless as that sounds, a recent study reportedly showed that 1 in 8 men under the age of 35 do, in fact, bring condoms with them when attending a funeral, "just in case".
Whether or not these condoms were used, however, is another story entirely.
"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
"There is no 'wrong' way to grieve."- Noctudeit
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesGiphyAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
The Best Real-Life Examples Of 'Never Interrupt An Enemy While They're Making A Mistake'
People will trip themselves up eventually.
Because liars and lunatics always make mistakes.
They may be small mistakes, but they leave just enough room to expose their wicked ways.
Sure we all want to fight off an enemy and be the victor.
But sometimes the victor's greatest weapon is nothing but a little patience.
Then, we celebrate with a smile as we watch the crumble.
And maybe we have a little victory dance.
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.