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Children Of Divorce Explain What It Was Like To Split Their Childhood Between Two Homes

Children Of Divorce Explain What It Was Like To Split Their Childhood Between Two Homes
Hutomo Abrianto on Unsplash

Sad fact, sometimes, love isn't meant to be forever. Not all marriages are built to last.

In fact, divorce is on the rise thanks to the pandemic.

Or maybe the pandemic just showed people the cracks in the their love story.

Divorce sucks. It sucks even harder for the children.

It can't be fun having to juggle your parent's issues and the new dynamics they're creating, all while trying to manage your own emotional breakdown.

A house divided, two new house rise. The shuffle begins.

Redditorhopelessmoderate wanted to hear from kids who survived their parent's split. They asked:

"Those who are a child of divorced parents and spent your childhood between two different houses. What is something that those of us raised in a single house don’t understand/consider?"

My parents never even married. So I got lucky. But I witnessed many friends go through tons of strife due to their parent's break up.

‘part time poor’

"For me, it was weird being ‘part time poor’… I lived in a tiny trailer with my mom, where we lived a painfully frugal life, and every other weekend I would be eating a steak dinner at my dad’s house." ~ acefrosting


"Getting in trouble at school for not having the right books/uniform because you forgot them at the other house or lost them altogether. Having to be very careful about being excited or positive about the other parent’s house. Always feeling like a houseguest in whichever house is not your main. Generally being totally disorganized and a mess at all times and becoming an adult who is a mess at all times." ~ krewekut


"The mental exhaustion years of being a middleman for your parents takes on you. Going from one house to the next, listening to one parent *itch about the other parent, and then having to put on a brave face while listening to one parent trash one of your other parents trying not to lose respect for the parent in front of you."

"While also trying not to harbor any feelings of resentment towards the parent at home with the parent in front of you was talking crap about. When you go back, and you hear your other parent complain and it goes on and on. I think a lot of us were used as therapists and we ourselves don’t even realize it." ~ Dogman_Howel


"It was damaging for me. My dad's family had a beach house, so on weekends and in the summers we’d be living in another world, then we’d go back to my moms dingy apartment where she’d be dating tatted bikers and doing painkillers. And my dad wasn’t doing much either, so I never understood how I could have some of the things we had but feel so poor and hopeless." ~ Donacelli


"When I was young I mainly lived with my mom in Utah and I’d visit my dad in California for my birthday in the summer and holidays. He was/is an amazing dad. He didn’t even spoil me, he just… provided for me. Made my summers enjoyable. Loved me. Then I’d have to go back to dusty old Utah to my miserable mom trapped in an abusive marriage with my five younger siblings."

"Everyone would trash my dad, tell me I was spoiled. The kids would tear apart my gifts from my dad. Stepdad would talk all this crap about how he could take my dad in a fight and blah blah. My mom would always be like 'Ugh you sound just like your dad.' It was awful." ~ mistajc

See why can't adults act like adults? It's sad when they neglect they effect they have on their children.

Living Separate

"Didn’t grow up with divorced parents, but they’ve separated several times and in 2016, my senior year of high school, officially separated (though still not divorced .-.) and I’m very much caught in this right now. I can’t even begin to imagine the anguish of being a child and shouldering that."

"My mom seems to think it’s okay to do to me ‘cause I’m an adult technically, but this should never be tolerated. I love both my parents and it’s okay that they don’t love each other anymore, but please don’t air out your dirty laundry to the human you created." ~ nonchellent

Such a Mess

"I went from a manic depressive mom who raised me in a trailer house ala Hoarders style. And then I'd go to my military father's house where everything had to be on time and spotless. I've gone to therapy to help me work through the disdain I've had towards my parents for my upbringing."

"At this point being mad at them is only damaging me and no one else so I've slowly been learning how to just let it all go. What's really help me is realizing how much I love myself as a person today and I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't gone through all of that so I just have to comfort myself in the fact that it all worked out." ~ AlwaysInTheFlowers


"No worse feeling than having to leave your 'preferred' household on a Sunday evening to go “home” before school Monday morning." ~ drushiesty

"The way the anxiety just grew on me towards end of the week when I was going to my dads, and then like counting the days to go back to my 'preferred.' But at the same time I felt bad for my dad because I didn’t want to hurt him." ~ Ixster1999

Being Forced

"For me it was always awkward spending time with my father, felt forced. Most of the time we would end up watching tv for 2-3 days before heading back to my mother’s house. Lasted for maybe 1-2 years after divorce and then would just go over for a day around Christmas time. Probably the minority but always felt I was a burden as a kid and we just never really clicked so felt like strangers hanging out." ~ Jabronie88


"Going to multiple Christmas lunches on Christmas Day was absolute bullcrap. 25 years later, one of my parents says 'but you always liked that.' Apparently we have very different memories." ~ commentspanda

unexplained abandonment...

"When we were little, Mom worked full time and Dad stayed home with us. When I was 6 they separated and we only saw him once, maybe twice a year. I have never recovered from this sudden and unexplained abandonment."


"I have a very similar scenario, it was like oh that explains so much when I realized it. I went from having 2 parents, 1 full time and 1 I could see 5-7h a day. After the divorce, full time gone and seeing the other one even less than before!"


All new...

"Having brand new familial relationships when a parent remarries and then never seeing them again when that marriage fails as well."


"My dad has been married 4 times after divorcing my mom (wife 1). He recently divorced the wife we liked a lot and have a good relationship with her. She's grandma to my kids. He has a new girlfriend and we are polite but I refuse to get to know her. She'll be gone in 10 years."


Just Like Them

"When you say or do something that your parent doesn't like, and they tell you, 'you're just like your father/mother.' Yeah, no s**t, I was made by the both of you. I get that you no longer like my dad/mom, but it hurts that you also hate half of what makes me me."


Are they lonely?

"There is always guilt about the parent you're not with. Are they lonely? Are they crying? I'm 53 now and the guilt is still there for every holiday."


"And the added layer of emotion when you want them to be alone because of how mean they are to you, but once they actually are alone, you feel the guilt of them being alone plus the guilt over wanting that. It’s so strange to feel sad for a person who hurts you."



"The battle of favoritism your parents force on you, talking shit bout the other and trying to make you take their side."


"It’s tough for parents because it works in the short term. You see the other parent feeding bad info to your kids, and you see how it impacts your kids’ perception/treatment of you. It’s very easy to want to turn the same behavior back on the other parent. It’s often not until adulthood that the kids realize how truly messed up that behavior was and develop an appreciation for the parent who didn’t engage in the favoritism war."


Bad Behavior

"Do you act this way at your dad/mom's house?!"

"Parents can sometimes, maybe/hopefully unintentionally use the kids as pawns. At 31, I still get envious of people even my own age who's parents are still together. Holidays are a stress-fest having to make sure to spend equal amounts of time at each parents house."

"A lot of my childhood memories are either lost due to trauma or not very enjoyable to remember. I feel like I became an adult before the age of 10. Also, don't forget about the abandonment issues that arise later in life."


Even at 40

"I am turning 40 this year and the amount of things I have realized looking back is horrific. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood due to trauma and also just the fact that I don’t want to think about it. Whenever my parents bring up the past I immediately change the subject."


Never a Home

"One of the houses is the other house, not home. You might keep some clothes over there, but they're the clothes you don't necessarily like or wear often. And then you forget about them because you're not there enough to wear them so by the time you put them on they don't fit and you're reminded yet again that you're not home."



"Living out of a suitcase is a f**king horrible way for a child to live."


"Yeah then my parents would get mad when I forgot to pack my hairbrush or deodorant or something. I was an adult when I realized that instead of being mad that I would occasionally forget something when I was packing twice a week, they should have bought me duplicates of the necessities."



"When you forgot something at the other house so you have to get it and your teachers want to give your parent a note so they ask which house you’re going to and when I was a little kid if we did a craft for our parents I would have to make two."


Good luck to everyone who knows this pain. You can get through it.

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.