Top Stories

Candid Adults Reveal What Lessons They Wish Their Parents Taught Them Earlier In Life

Candid Adults Reveal What Lessons They Wish Their Parents Taught Them Earlier In Life

[rebelmouse-image 18346766 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

A parent's responsibility in raising their child can be considered a multi-sided journey. Not only do you clothe them and feed them on a hopefully daily basis, but it's your job to help them understand the world they'll be a part of. However, there are those incidents when the lessons parents teach are not intentional, rather learned through osmosis, and we understand that sometimes our parents aren't perfect. Reddit user, r/WowThatIsCreative, got those answers when they asked:

[Serious] What do you wish your parents had done better while raising you?

Knowing When To Call The Cops

[rebelmouse-image 18346767 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Handling circumstances better.

My mother called the cops on me for taking a cigarette and smoking. I was 14 and got a ticket that I couldn't pay for until I was 18 and became a 600$ ticket. She did this for almost everything "bad" that I did.

DezzyTheGlazer

Knowing How To Communicate

[rebelmouse-image 18346768 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I know it would've been really difficult for them since they don't know any others, but I really wish they taught me a second language when I was a young child

TheyCallMeLurch

No Connection To The Homeland

[rebelmouse-image 18345108 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

i'm in the same boat!

my parents were born in china but never bothered to reach my sibling and i to speak mandarin. what's worse is my parents almost blame us for not being able to speak it :/, as if a child would have the dedication to learn another language.

buraiha

Opening The Lines

[rebelmouse-image 18346769 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Communicate.

Sure, the lack of communication growing up has made me into a person who puts in a real effort to communicate with their SO, but...I feel like a lot of my family's problems could have been avoided or resolved if we communicated better. I've been taught to shut down whenever I experience a negative feeling and to keep everything "to myself." It's a lot of work to make sure I don't do that in my relationship and I hope I can communicate with my children someday when I have them.

Related...it would have been nice if we, as a family, were better about keeping tabs with friends and other family. It's just not a habit of mine to reach out to friends or family because growing up, my family was very isolated. My parents had very few friends, rarely talked to extended family members, and as a result...I'm just the same way.

Anibunny

Maybe Just A Bit Less...

[rebelmouse-image 18346770 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Less emotional sadism from my mum would've been nice.

CommissarAdam

Parenting Is More

[rebelmouse-image 18346771 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Same here.

I grew up in an emotional war zone, and I'd give anything to have had parents that understood that love is more than meeting the physical and educational needs of a child.

Sometimes it means actually encouraging someone, not just telling them how worthless and ungrateful they are.

Falcoteer

Missing The Point

[rebelmouse-image 18346772 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I wish they had recognised that I was severely mentally ill as a child and gotten me treatment sooner. I only started on medication when I was 14 and only got on the right medication when I was 17. I missed out on basically my entire childhood because of that, as well as nearly dying twice.

They did their best, and raising a seriously ill child isn't easy, but in hindsight, the signs were all there. If I had been taken to a doctor sooner, I probably could have been diagnosed and treated much sooner, since I began showing symptoms at about 4 or 5 years old.

Hexomin

When They Blame You

[rebelmouse-image 18346774 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Ah yes, I can still remember some of the sh-t my mom used to use against me. My favourite one being "one of these days you're going to come home to find me hanging from the ceiling and it'll be your fault". For years, I would dread walking through my front door incase she had actually hung herself.

She didn't though.

DaveTheRussianCat

What's A Dollar Again?

[rebelmouse-image 18346775 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Taught me true fiscal discipline and the value of money.

In my late teens and early 20s, I spent money like it was endless. I would always find myself in poor situations because of it. After years of doing it, I finally came to my senses. I can only imagine what my savings account would look like today had I been smarter about it.

y3ti9329

When They Can't Be Bothered

[rebelmouse-image 18345868 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Protecting me. They always say, "if someone is hurting you tell a trusted adult" so I told my mom who punished me until I took it back so I had to live with it for years.

She couldn't be bothered.

potionbee

When You Know Better Than Them

[rebelmouse-image 18346776 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I wish they hadn't listen to the pill pushers who misdiagnosed me as ADHD and then I spent my entire childhood drugged to high heaven.

They couldn't figure out why the drug wasn't working on me. It couldn't be that they misdiagnosed. Doctors don't make mistakes. Must be the dosage. Just keep increasing it.

Funny thing is that I quit taking it secretly and suddenly my grades improved because I wasn't tripping balls.

Ipride362

Missing The Bigger Picture

[rebelmouse-image 18346777 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Paid attention to my mental health.

I hit depression and anxiety really hard and my [stepdad] convinced my mom it was just me being an attention whore.

Cosmic_Hitchhiker

Feed Them The Right Stuff

[rebelmouse-image 18346778 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Food. I am a carb monster.

I wish I grew up on less processed shite.

DanBGG

How To Maintain A Home

[rebelmouse-image 18346779 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I wish my Dad taught me more.

I learnt how to fix things, mow the lawn, handle stressful situations on my own. I really would have benefited with some know how early on.

Inflames811

Which Do You Focus On

[rebelmouse-image 18346781 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Less praise for mediocre accomplishments.

Makes actual accomplishments feel not as special.

INTP36

When The Child Becomes The Parents

[rebelmouse-image 18346782 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

BETTER. EATING. HABITS.

I remember my mom just being furious at me whenever she had to buy clothes for me because I'm a child and she has to shop in the "teen" section. The gag is, she, nor my dad taught me how to eat well; she has a naturally high metabolism so she never understood why I was so fat. Now as an adult I have to teach myself how to eat properly.

Rockabillyz

Really Avoiding The Point

[rebelmouse-image 18346783 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I feel ya there.

My parent's idea of money education was to give me an allowance with the idea to use it as I see fit, but then yell at me anytime I spent on anything. "Oh, you bought a snack at the corner store cause you were hanging with friends on a Saturday? How dare you!"

Kirgio

When They're The Cause Of Your Problems

[rebelmouse-image 18346784 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I grew up with that from both parents.

I've come to realize that people will never understand how legitimately abusive it is just because I wasn't beaten or starved. Looking back on how terrified and anxious I was as a child kills me to this day.

OMothmanWhereArtThou

No Regrets

[rebelmouse-image 18346785 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

my mom is a brilliant, smart, strong women but I have no childhood memories with her in it. I was in daycare 12 hours a day until I was 11 and could stay home on my own. She was always working (college professor) and didn't seem to care that I was missing her. She was very cold. I have more memories with the teachers at school then I have with my family. That was a sad realization.

My dad on the other hand, while also a professional, really tried hard to make sure I knew I was loved. I have lots of memories with him. Sadly he passed away 3 years ago and my mother is effectively a stranger so we don't talk.

I am a stay at home mom to my 2 kids now, which is what I always wanted to me. I can't believe that anyone would actively choose to put their career over the children. My mother had many books published in her field, a doctorate, so many letters at the end of her name.... but she lost her daughter and she [doesn't] regret it for a second.

divinechaos207

When They Don't Teach You Anything

[rebelmouse-image 18346786 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I just wish I'd been exposed to more stuff. I'd never been to the movies or resraurants with my parents. They never enrolled me in scouts or sports. I was barely allowed over to friend's houses, and I almost never had friends come over to my house.

As an adult, I have very poor social skills with people who aren't making a concentrated effort to get to know ME. I am terrified of new situations. Sometimes I need a support person to tell me EXACTLY what phrases I should say to bartenders/waitresses/etc because I'll freeze up and possibly cry without a script. Sometimes I'll suffer from mild anxiety before a party or get-together. I refuse to let other people know what music I'm listening to in case they don't like it. I usually need at least 24hrs notice before going to an event or I panic and get very angry at being "messed around on such short notice". As a teenager I legitimately thought I'd kill myself on my 20th birthday because having to fend for myself in the real world was a frightening concept.

At 22, I am MUCH better than I used to be. I was so terrified of becoming a total loser as an adult that I actively forced myself into new situations in order to gain that experience and become more normal. No thanks to my parents.

A--rocket33r

H/T: Reddit

Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences

Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.

gray conveyor between glass frames at nighttime
Tomasz Frankowski on Unsplash

I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.

While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.

Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.

For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.

But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?

Keep reading...Show less
wedding bands on dictionary
Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.

Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.

And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.

In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.

So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?

Keep reading...Show less
shallow photography of man hugging woman outdoors
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.

I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."

Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.

I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:

"What's the best pickup line of all time?"

Read It And See

"You put the sexy in dyslexic."

– koookyko

"This made me laugh so hard."

"Because I can read properly."

– TappedIn2111

I'm Hooked

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"

"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”

"And I say “yes.""

"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."

"I said, “Check please bartender!!""

"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

– reb678

Statistics

"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."

– AlfheimKitteh

"Math is always super sexy."

– Acceptable-News-6811

Money, Money, Money

"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."

– onemanwolfpack21

"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."

– kkirchhoff

Winner, Winner

""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""

"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"

– PRSHZ

One Liners

"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."

– Starry_Night-

"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

– Slainna

"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"

"(My name is Harley) 😁"

– OMNIxvTRIX

No Losers

"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

– SchemePale6222

"I got blue screen in my head."

"Explain please."

– TastyToothpasta

"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."

"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."

– Steeze_Schralper6968

Clever

"My go-to was always:"

"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"

"A little corny, but it usually worked."

– StuffToday

Refreshing

"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."

"-Hey, do you like water?"

"-Yes."

"-Then you like me in 70% already."

– azurskyy

Sneaky

"Would you date a complete stranger?"

"If she says “yes” you’re in."

If she says “no.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"

– Blastspark01

Playing Coy

"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."

"I asked her who and she said “Me.""

– evil_boy4life

Prop Lines

"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"

"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"

– cannibalcats

Egg-cellent

"Best one that worked for me was:"

"Me: How do you like your eggs?"

"Her: Over easy, why?"

"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."

– Radiant_Boss4342

The Best Line

"How you doin?"

– 2x4x93

"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"

– JohnsLong_Silver

That line would definitely work on me!