The movie Sixteen Candles is a pretty accurate representation of all of the stupid things we really all hope never happen on our personal birthdays.
But the world waits for no one. All people will likely experience some unfortunate circumstances on their birthdays.
And these are their stories.
u/NerdInABush asked:
What unfortunate things have happened to you on your birthday?
Here were some of those answers.
Four Is A Hard Year
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My fourth birthday. In a school play and at the end everyone surprised me by singing happy birthday... I panicked and peed myself. In front of the entire school and all the parents.
My shame will never die.
Me Vs. Phil
My birthday is sep 1st, on my birthday 3 years ago I asked my best friend "You know what day it is?" And they casually responded "yeah Dr. Phil's birthday" I was both disappointed and happy to know that I have the same birthday as Dr. Phil, my best friend forgot my birthday, and my friend watches Dr. Phill.
What. A. Jerk.
It was my 8th birthday. My mom, my sister, and I spent like the whole day making a princess castle cake. It was the best thing ever, at least to my 8-year-old self. At the party some annoying little kid stuck his finger in the back and made a hole in it. I have never forgiven that kid.
Beyond A Reasonable Cake
I got arrested on my 39th birthday. My ex was pissed that I wouldn't get back together with her, so when the cops arrested her for stealing the grates from a car wash (there was video of her and another woman stealing the grates) she told them it was me. They picked me up on my birthday. Long story short, I was able to prove beyond doubt that it wasn't me, but it still sucked.
The Middle Of Winter
Senior year of high school, got mono. Missed a grand total of 4 days of school cause February vacation was most of it. But I was too sick to celebrate my birthday or play in the jazz band the one and only time we performed at a night club
Junior year of college, had Matchbox Twenty tickets; too sick to go
When I turned 30, I'd had enough of being sick on/around my birthday so I started celebrating it in August instead.
Derp Derp Derp
Nothing tragic, more humourous.
We were in Mexico for a friends wedding....and ended up leaving the day of my 30th birthday...
3 hours into the morning..my husband has yet to say Happy Birthday.
First person to say anything...the ticket agent at the airport who checked my passport.
Rude Parents
me: why are we doing a surprise party for uncle?
mom: because its a nice thing to do
me: but he specifically said he didn't want a party
mom: stop being rude, you know what, now you don't get a birthday party this year
me: D:
I was like 10 btw
Necessary Self Care
My birthdays stopped being a big deal for me about fifteen years ago so I stopped taking them off work if they fell on a workday. Until 2017.
I am an anesthetist and I was working the call shift, finishing up my last case for the evening (so I thought). Was just waking that patient and looking forward to a nice dinner with my husband at home when my coworker walked in and said "Hold up. We've got a gunshot wound coming in through the ER."
I spent the last four hours of my birthday resuscitating a 15 year old victim of a gang-related shooting and decided I wasn't going to spend another birthday like that.
The kid survived but that birthday sucked. I take vacation that entire week now.
Less Internalized Shame In 2019
I spent my 20th birthday in jail for pot. I'd went in two days before and just didn't call my parents or anybody. I was at a low point and I got all "this is my life now" about it, and that's so weird to think about, considering I live in a legal state now. Like I'd actually done something to be ashamed of.
A Literal Ransom
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My car got towed while I was seeing a concert on my birthday. I was stupid and parked in a grocery store parking lot to avoid a $30 parking fee.
I had to uber to the tow truck company at 1 in the morning in the fringes if los angeles to find out that I couldn't get the car unless if I paid the man who towed me $450 IN F*CKING CASH. He could take card, but would only do so if the car was registered to me. The car was registered to my dad.
This leads to me walking a mile and a half to the closest atm in a sketchy neighborhood to withdraw the cash. I had to wake up my parents by calling them and asking for more cash cause I didn't have enough in my account at the time.
I got the car back by 2:30 AM and my bank account was $450 lighter. I've never wanted to commit an act of extreme crime or vandalism against a business until that night. Tow truck companies are the scum of the earth and I truly wish ill will upon them and their families. They make their living off of being predators and charging ridiculous ransom sums of money.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
Strangers on the internet shared their amateur culinary wisdom when Redditor SandandS0n asked:
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
– Arcinbiblo12
Noodling Around
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
noodles ramen GIF by HUANG'S WORLDGiphyDon't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
– ambernoodle
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
– KeengPeach
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
– IgnoreMe733
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
– saluki352
Nature's Candy
"Fruit."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
– essa618
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
– johndavidcard
Thanks, Nonna!
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
"Grazie nonna"
– Xelorath
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?