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People Break Down The Biggest Societal Pressures Men Face

People Break Down The Biggest Societal Pressures Men Face
Photo by Alex Vámos on Unsplash

The problem with men is that they never seem to want to discuss their issues.

We're emerging from generations of society and culture that have indoctrinated men to believe that sharing vulnerability and problems were a weakness.

And it's time to talk about it.

Speak up guys, we're listening.

RedditorTabocuspokuswanted to hear from the boys about life's issues, so they asked:

"What are problems in modern society, that put social pressure on boys and men? And what can women do about it?"

Having fear. Men are trained to be fearless. But we have fear. A lot, and it sucks.

Be Kind

Not Going Anywhere Tell Me GIF by grown-ishGiphy

"If you ask us to share our emotions and thoughts, don't ridicule us after we shared them with you."



"Being a loving father is not 'creepy.' I have an 11 year old boy, an 8 y/o boy and a 4 y/o daughter. I've gotten really weird looks giving my kids kisses on the cheek in public. My oldest son got the worst of it because he was my first kiddo. I constantly gave him hugs and kisses as a baby because my dad couldn't even be bothered to tell me he loved me."

"So I vowed to be a loving sweet father, unlike mine. There are days we go to the store and I'll snuggle into my daughter's neck and tell her how much I love her. I still call her "princess" to this day. Every now and then I get weird looks. It hurts because it was so common for my dad to walk 5 yards ahead of me in a store and not care, but I care. So I love my kids. And to some people this is some how weird."


I'm Listening

"Mental health, domestic abuse, showing emotions, body image... I could go on. What I do to help my partners is be completely open about my problems and allow them to do the same. I let them talk. I listen. And when the conversations come to an end, we work on it. Want counseling? We can do it together. Want to lose weight? Let's go on a diet. However they want to deal with their problems is alright by me so long as it isn't self-destructive. I think we should be supportive."


Be A Man

"When you ask us to express our feelings, you need to let express our actual feelings and not just the feelings you want us to express. This also needs to be entirely free of judgement or punishment. As men, we're constantly told we need to express our feelings more. But all too often, if we express anything other than strength we are judged, quite harshly, as being weak, selfish, unattractive, and less of a man."


Raising Kids

michael keaton GIF by MauditGiphy

"Main ones for me are the inability to properly be a parent in public with out being judged and things like use PARENTING rooms to change a nappy or whatever which are unisex without being looked at as some creep (my friend once actually had the mall security called in him by a lady claiming there was a man in the women's toilets) or me being by myself with my own kids automatically makes me some sort of criminal especially if the kid throws a tantrum at a mall and it’s crying, screaming etc."

"And I could be trying to put them back in their pram with them screaming and random women would be giving me dagger eyes. Where if my wife has a shouting screaming kid other women just give her a kind understanding smile and walk along… if women can cut down on that sorta judgemental stuff it would be great… I know this isn’t the case every time you go out in public but just having it happen a few times always leaves it in the back of your mind."


Interesting truths being thrown out here. Society really does judge first, even after all of out "progress."

Talk to Me Too...

fathers day dad GIF by Disney PixarGiphy

"Being a father is weird. I get worried looks from women walking through Walmart with my arm around my daughter. Or if my wife and I are together and someone asks anything about our kids, like where they go to school or their age or birthday, it's always directed at my wife as if I don't know anything about my own kids."


Lessons Ignored

"I didn't learn my lesson the first time. I've tried opening up repeatedly to try to discuss my mental health issues and just general life problems with family and friends, even a couple doctors. No one wants to hear about that, so now I just bottle it all up like a "real man" and pretend like I can ignore the pain and loneliness. I think I would have been better off to have not tried to begin with."


Raised by a therapist

"I'm a dude and was raised by a therapist. So, I have absolutely no problem talking about my feelings, inner truth, being vulnerable and so on. Nonetheless, as an adult I've found that the world is not at all ready for men who talk about their feelings. All of the people who depend on me overreact every time I project anything but strength."

"It puts me in an ironic position where I almost need a double life: one full of people whom I love and support but with whom I don't share my feelings; another full of people whom I don't love and support but with whom I can share my feelings. Or, I can choose the third route: swallow it all and live a life of quiet desperation."

"And statistics show men are far more likely to be socially isolated, turn to substance abuse, prostitution, and suicide? No kidding. If society wants men to live fuller lives, we need to not only encourage men to be more open with their feelings, we need to also remind society that they play a role in making that possible for men."


Be Open

"I had been dating a girl for a few months when I opened up to her about the trauma of a childhood friend of mine dying in a horrific accident while we were in school. I ended up crying, because she was literally the first person in a decade I had opened up to about that. "

"She responded with so much love, support, and positivity that I was just blown away. 13 years later, we’ve been married for 6 years and just had our first kid, and I knew from that night that she was the kind of person I could build a life with."



Sad Lonely GIF by PokémonGiphy

"My dad yelled at me for crying at my grandpa's funeral because my grandpa wouldn't approve. Any sign of weakness in sports or anything he gets upset with me for looking 'soft,' but he tells me he loves me everyday and gives hugs and stuff so it's confusing."


"nobody listens"

"Mental health for men is a big one. Society is slowly starting to get better with this, but it's a very slow burn. We're constantly under the weight of demands and expectations, and then get made fun of when we say something about it. A really good example, look at Will Smith."

"The man sat down and listened to his wife talk about an affair, cried on live tv, and he became a meme because of it. There was a trend on TikTok asking men why they don't speak up, and every single response was along the lines of 'nobody listens.'"


Yeah, don’t do that...

"Judging them for Being Honest. Nothing is worse than when you open up to your S/O about a struggle you’re having and then later they throw that in your face as a weakness. Yeah, don’t do that."


"You should never be made to feel guilty/weak to be honest and open with your significant other. If they throw your personal struggles in your face as a weakness, throw them out of your life, because you deserve better, king."


Be Open

"Being vocal about mental health and feelings. I’ve found myself sweeping it under the rug a lot and sucking it up. I’m tired and exhausted but I have to keep going."


"I try to be happy but I have so much rage built up in me that it sometimes get exhausting to simply be."

"I was never allowed an outlet for my sadness or anger so I've been bottling everything up for 26 years and now I don't know what anger feels like. I no longer feel anger cuz I skip over into rage. It's like arming a landmine over and over again and then wondering why it explodes when people jump on it as if landmines have never done that before."


Size Issues

Kyle Mooney Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

"Emphasis on penis size and height. I think it affects a lot of young men in a negative way, makes them feel inadequate."


Male Honor

"I’m currently pregnant and haven't been keeping food down for three weeks, I’m starving and the level of nausea has surpassed the unbearable. My body and mind are at an extreme low. My husband has gotten anything I can fathom to try and help."

"He Fetches me anything, has taken over all house duties and is worried out of his mind. He also started a new job last week. I will get all the sympathy in the world and he will not. just because my struggle is greater does not make someone else’s struggle any less difficult."

"Even he refuses to acknowledge any hardship. He’s programmed with the type of male honor that makes his feelings invisible. I think the best thing anyone can do is take a moment to think from another perspective and open a Discussion like this."



"Men can get postpartum depression. But they aren't screened for it; only mothers are (in our experience in the US). My husband suffered from it after we had our first child. They screened me, the mom, for it in the hospital, at my follow-up OBGYN appointments, and at our baby's pediatrician appointments. My husband was there for all of those except the OBGYN. Nobody ever even asked how he was feeling."



"As a kid, I was shamed by my mother and sister for being 'sensitive.' Aka, anytime they upset me or I was upset, it was unmanly to show my emotions. As a boyfriend, I was sometimes expected to handle both of our emotional stresses. Perhaps this one isn't as gendered, but it happens to people in relationships."

"As a husband, I have actual expectations and responsibilities to consistently provide for my household, emotionally and financially. This is also not a gendered thing, but it definitely is common. I think for most men out there, we've been taught to hide our emotions, and get put in emotionally tough situations. There's a lot of solutions, but understanding is always the foundation towards an answer."


"thank you for the meal"

"I came to a realization the other day. It really isn't anyone's fault but I realized that no one has ever in my family thanked my dad for earning the living for our family. I live in a more traditional house and my mom is a stay at home mom and we were always taught too tell her 'thank you for the meal' and thanks for everything you do and all that stuff. Thats great and all but we never once said, thanks for the job you do dad which is very intensive and stressful."

"He never once has complained about his job for all my life. I realized this about 2 months ago and I decided to thank him for all that he does. He didn't exactly know how to answer the compliment cause it was new too him but I could tell it made a difference. Not so much a 'this hurts men and women need to fix it!!!' post but still important to bear in mind nonetheless."



"Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I'm dangerous, or angry all the time. I took my son to the ER for a broken leg years ago, and got the third degree from EVERY person that came in and examined or worked with him. The innuendo about his injury being due to me was palpable, yet they never came out and straight accused me of it. It caused additional stress that wasn't needed, and embarrassed me to no end."


I'll Wait

John Goodman Reaction GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"Name a family-related sitcom in the last 25 years that doesn't show the Dad/male lead as clueless, well-meaning, but mostly incompetent, with a wise-cracking wife/mom/female lead who is always exasperated by the ineptitude of the guy she loves. Go ahead. I'll wait."


Keep reading. Keep talking. Keep sharing. Real men admit they can't handle it all.

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.