You ever read a story that made you look at your screen kind of through the outer corner of your eye? Like you're so taken aback by the dumpster fire you're reading that you almost don't want to look at it directly? But you can't look away either?
This is about to be that story.
The story revolves around four main players, so let's start there.
"Jenny" - The girlfriend
"Jessi" - The girlfriend's twin sister
"Johnny" - The boyfriend
"Mom" - The boyfriend's mom
Got that? Ok, here we go. Jenny and Johnny have been together for a year and things are going great. Jenny hangs out with Johnny's family, including mom, and has talked about her sister, Jessi, from time to time - always referring to her as "my sister". That's important. Pin that. It'll matter in a second.
One night, mom goes out to the movies with her friends and on the way out she runs into Jessi and her boyfriend. Mom flips out thinking that it's Jenny and goes on to scream at, accuse, slap, and attempt to drag Jessi out of the theater! Yep that's verbal and physical assault for those of you keeping score at home. In the process of trying to defend herself and being assaulted, Jessi called the woman a "crazy b!tch" - cause if it walks like a duck and slaps like a duck, ya know?
Mom them calls Johnny to rat out his "cheating" girlfriend only to find Jenny was WITH JOHNNY and obviously couldn't be the girl she had just assaulted in the theater. Mom tried to blame Jenny for never specifying that her sister was her TWIN sister, and not only refused to apologize to Jessi, but is now demanding that Jessi apologize to her for calling her a crazy b!tch.
"Jenny" turned to Reddit for help. Here is her full post:
I have an identical twin sister Jessi and we look very much alike. There are small differences but only those who know both of us can recognize them.
BF and I have been together for a year. Things are good between us.
Last night this happened: my boyfriend's mom went out with her friends to watch a movie and Jessi was there as well with her boyfriend. After the movie one of her friends saw Jessi with her boyfriend. She asked her if that girl is her son's boyfriend (I met this friend at a party a few weeks ago). So she looked at Jessi and thought yes, she is.
She went to her and asked what the f*** is going on. Jessi was confused since she hadn't met her before, and she kept asking her what the f*** is this. At that point she was holding Jessi's arm and she told her to let her go and called her a crazy bitch. Eventually she told Jessi that she's cheating on her son and called her by my name, and Jessi told her that that's her twin sister. She slapped her across the face and told her to stop lying. Her friends then collected her and took her away.
She then called my boyfriend and told him that she's found her girlfriend with another man. I was with my boyfriend at that time. He quickly got it that she must have seen Jessi so he told her and she hung up. She then left. I talked to Jessi, she didn't even apologize to her. After she found out what she's done, she just left.
So my boyfriend talked to her again and an apology is not coming.
She feels like she did nothing wrong and she was justified in whatever she did since I hadn't told her that I had a twin sister, so she's justified in harassing her like that and slapping her across the face. She said that she expects an apology for being called a crazy bitch.
I'm really pissed at her for what she did and the least she can do is apologize to Jessi. We were planning to visit my boyfriend's parents this weekend but now I'm not sure that I want to go. I can't just sit there and tell her how cute it was that she mistook me with my twin. I sure as hell don't think Jessi should go and apologize to her.
Should I let this go? Am I overreacting to consider this a deal breaker?
People did not hold back with their responses, and it was glorious. Here are some of my favorites, edited for content or clarity when needed.
Petty And Immature
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I fully understand her assumption (who thinks 'maybe she has a twin sister?'), but the slapping was completely out of order, and her refusal to apologise shows a really petty, immature streak in her.
If I lost it and attacked someone, and then I learned it was the wrong person, I would be apologising before they'd even finished saying 'it was my twin'. I'd feel appalled at myself. The fact that she's refusing to says a lot.
I would say that your boyfriend needs to have strong words with her, and if she still refuses to apologize then you cut off contact.
Trashy
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I don't even think she has the right to verbally confront her. It's not her relationship and her son is an adult. She should definitely warn the son about what she saw so that he can decide what to do. She could even snap a covert picture of the girl and her date for proof, but she shouldn't involve herself in the dispute.
If she had been drinking her reaction might be a little more understandable (though still wrong), but she just sounds trashy within that violent reaction. I almost wonder if she didn't secretly already hate the girlfriend and jumped like a rabid animal at the chance to act out towards her.
Certainly trashy for not apologizing.
Don't Just Let This Go
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Something similar happened to me and my twin, except she was in a different country on vacation when she ran into my (now) ex boyfriends mom. His mom was shocked and upset at first, but she didn't HIT my sister! That's just straight up crazy and unnecessary, If she had done that I would have cut her out of my life. If I was you I would really consider having someone in my life who's first thought is to resort to violence against you when they perceive you to be doing something wrong, and also someone who can't apologize when they are clearly in the wrong. It's nuts that she expects an apology, if I was your sister I'd be pressing charges JUST because she has the nerve to expect an apology after slapping me.
I don't think you should just let this go- it just reinforces that her behavior has no consequences, which I suspect is what usually happens if her first thought was to slap your sister, then expect an apology.
Deal Breaker
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It's definitely a deal breaker in regard to meeting his parents, but may not be a deal breaker in regard to your relationship as a whole. Even if his mom does apologize, you'll have to decide whether or not you'll want someone that violent in your life at all. Someone who'll probably be "that woman who hit my sister" in your mind more than "my boyfriend's mom". That said, you aren't dating his mom. Just because she's a violent moron doesn't mean he is also like that.
My point being, I'd say you can go on with the relationship while refusing to see his mom. I doubt he will blame you. And if he does- that is a deal breaker.
All The Red Flags
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RED FLAG Think carefully about whether or not you want to get serious with this guy. Please trust me, you get the whole family when you have a serious relationship. TRUST ME on this. red flag: mom is confrontational. red flag: mom is aggressive in words and actions red flag: refusing to apologize is a control issue.
IF you decide to go to this event and see her (I wouldn't) avoid her. If she mentions it to your bf or you say you are still angry. If she mentions your sister calling her an crazy bitch: "that is unlike her, she must have been reaction to be accosted at the movies" Your sister should definitely not apologize- she did nothing wrong.
If your bf insists you attend and you don't want to, or glosses over this issue. That is, you guessed it: another red flag.
Not Going To Change
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Wow. That is an awful story.
The mother isn't going to change. Maybe she's so unbelievably embarrassed by her behaviour that she can't even acknowledge it to herself yet (the preposterous defense that you & Jessi should apologise to her! that is rich!). Maybe she'll come around to it, but I wouldn't hold my breath. You're not obliged to give her the space to do that either. Her actions were wildly outrageous; her 'defense' is ridiculous and offensive; she's only going to dig in.
And then among the 3 of you, there will always be this outlandish damage done by her, for which she takes no responsibility, and which she's gotten away with--in a way reinforcing that she can act with assault, gaslighting and accusation... with no personal consequences. There will be more crazy to come.
I'd stay away from her, no exceptions. If Jessi decides to file charges, I'd expect mom to blow. If Jessi doesn't, I'd expect mom to still be crazy. We're not required to have these people in our lives.... but obviously it will impact your relationship with your BF, likely be a strain as long as you're together. The fact your boyfriend will be 'in the middle' for as long as he tries to appease her is true no matter what you & Jessi do.
Let Jessi decide about filing charges.
Tell the BF there will be no contact or communication on your part. The crazy lady ceases to exist in your life; tell him to talk to someone else if he begins complaining about her (btw did he ever say he thought this was horrific?). See if your relationship can withstand that crack.
Gird your loins for what's to come. She's not done justifying and defending her ludicrous behavior.
A Turning Point
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Absolutely do not visit his parent's house, lol.
This is a turning point for your relationship. His mom massively f-ed up. She needs to apologize to all three of you (starting with your sister). Face to face.
If bf's mom is unwilling to apologise, bf needs to insist that she does. And you need to insist that he insists. If he refuses, that's the end of your relationship. There is no way you can have a relationship with her unless she apologises, and there is no way you can have a relationship with bf without having contact with his mom.
Bf's mom is lucky she's not being charged with assault. That's what I would have done.
- Vinay92
End The Relationship
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In all honesty, I would be tempted to just end the relationship. I wouldn't ever want anything to do with that woman again and it wouldn't be fair for him to be stuck in the middle.
So yes, I think you're 110% justified to cut contact, just be prepared for how it will affect your relationship.
In Her Mind...
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In her mind, she wasn't slapping your sister. She was slapping you. Do you want to be in her vicinity for the rest of her life? GTFO.
Allowed To Abuse You
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If she can treat your twin sister like that, she can treat you like that. She believes she has the power and authority to treat you like that, lay her hands on you, and physically and verbally abuse you. sure, it didn't happen to you, it was your sister, but in her mind it WAS you.
You are not over reacting. Not in the least bit. Her response wasn't appropriate regardless of who she did it too. If she believes she's justified in her behavior, it means she believes she is allowed to abuse you.
Sister's Perspective
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Okay, so here's what your sister experienced: she's out on a date with her boyfriend, and then some random stranger grabs her and starts screaming in her face, then slaps her in the face. This stranger, who is assaulting her in public, won't believe she is who she says she is--who she actually is.
This is the stuff nightmares are made of. This is the stuff PTSD is made of.
This woman is f^cking unstable, and has proven to be dangerous. You shouldn't be in a room with her, apology or no apology. She assaulted someone based on an unfounded suspicion, and clearly would have no problem assaulting you if she thought you were doing something wrong.
Christ on a titty-balling cracker, and she thinks your sister should apologize for calling her a crazy bitch? What is her line of thinking there? "Oh come on, I was just physically and publicly assaulting someone I thought was my son's girlfriend; anyone would have done the same, she shouldn't have called me names while I was slapping the shit out of her in public."
Yeah, charges should be pressed. And if not that, then at the very least never talk to this woman again.
Grandmother
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Your BF's mom is crazy. Consider this situation if you have children with him. Think about her as your kids grandmother.
Double Standard
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Dear Boyfriend
Go to the police, get her charged, get your girl's twin sister to do it. Go to the theater where it happened and tell them you were assaulted, show them where, ask them if there is footage, call the police, file a police report. Your mother is an attacker, she is the living embodiment of double standards, if a man did this, how fast do you think he would be in jail?
What Kind Of Upbringing
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Remember, this is the woman who reared your boyfriend. You have to ask yourself what kind of upbringing he had and how that would affect you and any family you may one day start.
- bilabrin
Just Needed An Excuse
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It seems like she's thought about hitting you before, just needed some excuse to actually do it. I'm not a violent person, but if a old lady slapped my girlfriend across the face, I would break a couple of her teeth.
- Hpa511
Just As Crazy As His Mom
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It shouldn't be a deal breaker that your boyfriend's mom slapped your sister, he didn't have any control over that. Don't give her the power to break you two up, it's not about her.
However, it should be a deal breaker if he's not demanding an apology from her. If he actually thinks this isn't a big deal then he's just as crazy as his mom.
Good luck.
Big Red Flag
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Uh. It'd be one thing if this was JUST a case of mistaken identity, and maybe she mouthed off to Jessi. But that's not what happened-- she PHYSICALLY ATTACKED someone. And not only that, but even AFTER the mistake was evident, she feels she was completely justified in doing so and she blamed the whole situation on you. As though she is not a fully-grown woman capable of making the correct decision (which is not laying your hands on someone).
Um. Yes. This is absolutely worth cutting contact over.
How does your boyfriend feel about all this? That's a big concern. Hopefully he sees that she was in the wrong and needs to apologize. If he is encouraging you to drop it, or thinks this is no big deal, that's a big red flag and there should be a serious conversation about that. It's hard enough having someone like that as your significant other's parent, but it's MUCH harder to deal with when your significant other takes their side.
Totally Toxic
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Totally toxic human. Must avoid. Even if it damages the relationship with your BF.
This isn't the first or last time she has gone off the rails. Slapping your sister was inexcusable.
So please just cut her off. For your own sanity, there is now way this turns out well if you allow people like this within your circle. I feel bad for you and your BF.
- 400yards
Just Ignore It
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People keep saying your sister should press charges, but pressing charges over a slap? Seems like more headaches then needed. If your relationship is going good. Just ignore it and go limited contact with the mom.
The Primary Victim
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I really want to encourage you to get your sister to press charges. She is the primary victim here. You are taking this on as your battle (and you are right to do so), but you have one hand tied behind your back because of your relationship with this bitch's son.
Your sister has no relationship with a complete stranger that came out of nowhere and smacked her in the face. She must sue the sh!t out of that awful woman. F^ck apologies.
H/T: Reddit
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.