I am no athlete. And in middle school and high school, I read books in P.E. So the locker rooms were never really a part of my life.
But I did always wonder if shenanigans are afoot when the doors close or when the cameras stop rolling for interviews.
How is everyone so comfortable just running around nekkid?
When I'm in a locker room at the gym, I'm in and out. Do y'all really just lay around conversing about the meaning of life, or play pranks that often lad to disaster?
Let's find out...
Redditorej1oo1wanted all of the sports players out their to spill us some tea, they asked:
"Athletes of reddit, what's the wildest story from the locker room?"
I imagine there is absurd amount of pranking and foolishness. Which isn't bright. The floor is slippery and the concrete is hard. You can break a neck.
bad grapes...
Scott Aukerman Tattoo GIFGiphy"The one that I remember most vividly was halftime during a HS football game and right after a kid had his testicles stepped on. He was screaming as the trainer took his pants off to reveal a sack the size of a grapefruit." ~ groundsgonesour
Watch your hands!
"I was not physically there but happened at my school and I knew about it because the kid posted a picture on Instagram. A guy had his hand resting on the door frame while he was talking to someone else and not paying attention, and another kid kicked the door closed for some reason. Took part of his middle finger clean off at the last knuckle. His Instagram picture was captioned "the doctors don't know if it'll grow back" and showed the stump." ~ beetjuice98
"tough dude"
"After practice there's ~15 guys waiting to use 3 showers. Once one of them broke and would only give cold water. Some days later this "tough dude" didn't want to wait anymore and just showered with the cold-a** water, all the other dudes still waiting to use the 2 warm showers. This goes on for maybe 10 days, with no one ever trying to use the broken shower, then our coach tells us it's been repaired the day "tough dude" started using it again and he was supposed to tell us." ~ Leckenz
Cheers!
Drinking Beer GIF by Barstool SportsGiphy"Beer league hockey. I roll up to a new team with a full cooler of beer as a new-guy peace offering. Quickly I find out that I'm the only one on the team to drink beer. Wildest crap I've ever seen." ~ gentleman_bronco
Well so far, none of this sounds like any fun; just a lot hospital visits and questionable behavior. But I would take a beer.
Bubbles...
Hardly Art Talk GIF by TacocatGiphy"Open Showering after morning practice. People started blowing giant shampoo bubbles and tried to see who could successfully transfer the bubbles to completely cover their stuff like a space helmet." ~ DurgMaster
Blood everywhere...
"Football locker room. Varsity locker room had limited spots, everyone else had to go into the small room that had a 6 ft. ceiling. Summer camp my sophomore year, after coaches left, Varsity guys held wrestling matches to determine who got the remaining lockers in the big varsity room. Kid got suplexed into the whiteboard, and we all found out that the walls were made of concrete. Blood everywhere. Varsity locker room was closed for the remainder of the year." ~ SylvrSpydr
Day 5
"Not really a locker room story, but one time I was at a 5 day tournament (nationals) that was rained out for the first three days. Athletes were getting rowdy and going for drinks (behind the coaches back). Well day 4 it was finally nice enough to play. We noticed on a different field, some police officers were talking to people on the sideline."
"Apparently, one player didn't make it back to the hotel the night before. They found his body at the bottom of an elevator shaft in a building under construction. No one knows how he got there but it seems like he just wandered off and fell. Day 5 was cancelled after that." ~ discostud1515
Bummed
Schitts Creek Pain GIF by CBCGiphy"During high school I tried to make room on the bench for my teammate. I slid down the wooden bench and got a splinter in my bum." ~ Alarmed_Teacher_1022
Yeah, I'll stick to the non-athlete life. And I'm glad I basically sticked P.E. Sounds like my life was spared.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.