Art is subjective, but art is art. Even in the early stages you never know when you'll stumble across the next Picasso... or a serial killer. Art teachers really do have an interesting job when it comes to determining which child has a gift for the Louvre or for Dateline NBC.
Redditor u/redmambo_no6 wanted to hear from the artistic group out there about the things they can't unsee by asking.... Art teachers of Reddit, what's you "Draw anything you want" story?
The Craft....
the craft GIF
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Not my story, but seems to fit here.
When I was in school to certify to become a teacher, we had a former principal as a professor for one of our courses who was trying to illustrate how difficult it can be to manage parent complaints and how to approach those situations with administration.
His example was how he had been called into a conference once with an angry mom and the elementary school art teacher. The mom was furious because the teacher had asked the children to close their eyes and draw whatever came into their imagination. His assumption was that a student had drawn something inappropriate. Nope.
The mom was mad because summoning an image in one's mind was "witchcraft."
After the banal....
I've had some really funny ones but this one is not and reminds me whenever I think of it to consider kids circumstances. I worked in a low income high immigrant population school. This girl was amazing; outspoken, kind, great grasp of English. She drew a picture of her brother and her. I asked her who else was in the picture since there appeared to be part of a 3rd person. She calmly replied "That's my brothers head; he was killed in our village right before we went to the refugee camp." I look her up and down and say something sympathetic (masking my horror).
"Yeah they came into my village grabbed all the boys and were going to take them away. My brother and his friend tried to run so they cut off his head. I was standing right there. Would you like me to draw you a picture?" I said no thank you. I asked where her little brother, also in art class was, when this happened. "Oh we dressed him up like a girl. He makes a cute girl!" I should mention before the above exchange we were talking about One Direction or something totally banal.
Let's Redraw....
Ummm GIF by memecandy
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I just remembered - a poor little guy who drew a self portrait. He drew with meticulous detail and when it came down to drawing his pants he drew the zipper so carefully but it looked like a penis. I was flummoxed about how to tell him that people might see something there that he didn't intend.
The Butterfly....
I got in trouble once for drawing a pooping butt. Little did my teacher know, but the drawing was actually a poorly drawn butterfly that ended up looking like a hairy pooping butt and when asked why I put the details I did like the legs and antenna and Proboscidea coming off the segmented body, I said "I dunno, don't they all look like that? I saw one a recess and thought it was pretty and wanted to draw it." Thinking of the butterfly of course. Nope, I ended up having to see the school counselor.
wham' or 'crinkle.'
In early middle school, we did a project where we used cardboard draped in colorful paper mache to make a sound-word, like 'wham' or 'crinkle.' I was really into knights at the time, so I made the word that was the sound of someone unsheathing a sword.
That word was 'schlong.'
Be Cool.....
gave my high school kids a poetry assignment. They could write about anything that was school appropriate and have one curse word that wasn't a slur or the f bomb. It had to include so much figurative language, etc.
Girl turns in "ms. [My name] is a b***h", a poem about how she's tired of writing poems and that she's annoyed with me for assigning so many
Includes all requirements. I gave her a 96 (a few errors) and the next poem she writes is "ms. [My name] is a cool b***h" about how she was sorry she was mean.
Hung
john ritter horror GIF
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I have a "design your own monster" Halloween lesson. Most kids draw cute ghosts or cool vampires. One 7th grader drew a sad clown hanging by a belt from a ceiling fan. He had issues.
1977....
High School 1977. Not a teacher. While everyone else was drawing Pink Floyd rainbows and peace signs all over everything the biggest burnout in the class made a wide metal bracelet with intricate triangular designs cut out of it. He turned it in and got a great grade for the first project he ever bothered finishing and some well-deserved praise for his effort.
Teacher handed our work back and first thing he did was grab a pair of pliers and bent all the triangles outward making it a thick metal spiked bracelet. I found that devilishly, disturbingly clever.
on the plate....
cat falls GIF
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As a kid was told to do a drawing that was gonna be put on a plate, drew my cat doing a poo. I was asked multiple times if I wanted to redo it, I declined the offer. So most of my life I ate off a plate with my cat on it doing a poo as it was my plate, and still do.
My siblings had similar plate with a car and a rocket ship, mine is clearly much better.
Was around 5 or 6 at the time and totally worth it, still have the plate.
Edit picture https://imgur.com/gallery/pj3G2b6
To the Earth....
Student here. My art teacher was somewhat crazy. She let us draw anything we want and to get 100% all you had to do was tell her it "had a deep connection to the earth" or some other nonsense. I drew a jellyfish and told her it represented wisdom because it was immortal.
The Hands....
One kid had to have a meeting with the principal, her parents and the art teacher because the art teacher decided that because this second grade girl only drew people without hands, the little girl felt powerless.
All these adults question this child about the meaning of her drawings. She tells them, "Hands are too hard to draw."
Feet?
canadian what GIF by CBC
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Parent here, not an art teacher. In Kindergarten, my son came home with a packet of finished assignments he got back from the teacher. One was a paper having them draw a body part with the prompt "Here are my...". Example given was "feet". What did my kid draw? Butt cheeks. Drawing of the back of a person with two giant (well-drawn, I might add) cheeks.
My husband and I laughed our own butt cheeks off when we saw it. We kept the paper. For Posteriority.
That Day...
When I was in 2nd grade our teacher told us to doodle on the back of a quiz if we finished early. I decided to draw a house high in the sky with a long staircase leading to it. To emphasize its height I drew clouds but it needed more... I decided to add in an airplane. Later my teacher called me to her desk and I got in trouble because the plane looked like it was heading towards the house and this was right after 9/11 happened.
Still have no idea what I was thinking.
'class police'
I'm a teacher but I don't teach art. I was teaching a class of 7 year-olds who are usually a blessing, but there's just one kid who has some real problems. He can't speak English at all. Even after me spending a year trying to teach him and all his classmates progressing well, he just refuses to engage with any teacher and is extremely distruptive, often crying and screaming. I think he has special needs, but that's not handled well in China.
Anyway. After battling and battling with him to no avail, assigning him 'class police' roles, everything I just gave up this one day and gave him some paper to draw on whilst the rest of the kids learn without him distracting them.
He drew a picture of me with a large PP and lots of knives in me with blood and wrote my name in perfect English. It was eerie but I just felt sad and concerned what had happened to this boy The school gave him no support and I only saw him for about an hour a week. I left the school shortly after (unrelated) and wonder how he is now.
Sold!
art GIF by iamnaomidesign
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Former student here. We were supposed to do a bit of abstract artwork for a course assignment. My work was a framed square cutout from an old T-shirt I had previously used to help re stain an old table. Not only did I get an A on the assignment, but I entered it into a silent auction later that semester and someone bought it.
"I will be back"
When I was in the first grade they had everyone in every grade draw something. It could be anything. I drew an evil snail that had gotten snatched up by a bird. And I had a voice bubble that said "I will be back" or something like that, coming from this evil snail. In the foreground I drew my family. That was it. That was the whole picture. Flash forward to like 6 months and my really bad drawing was chosen as #1 in the first grade. Then the school had an assembly where they showed the top drawings from each grade. So I go up to the front with the other "winners" and the principle goes through each one and says a little something about it.
Eventually they get to my drawing and I quickly realized why I was chosen. They thought the bird was a plane and the evil snail was my dad leaving to deploy. Important note is that this school was on a military base. My dad had never been deployed and was in fact depicted on the ground with the rest of my family. But I just stood there and accepted the award. And I never told another living soul because I was so embarrassed/guilty.
"The Hooker"
When I was around 8 or 9, I got into drawing cars, and simultaneously into drawing tribal decorations (probably not PC, but you know, the type a lot of people get as a tattoo), so I drew a car with tribal decal and because of the hook-like shapes in the tribal decal, I (in)appropriately named the car "The Hooker". When she was done laughing, my mom took the time to explain the world's oldest profession.
Homeward Bound
Reminds me of that time I got suspended in kindergarten for drawing a crappy stick figure gun. I tried to save myself that day by saying it was a water gun since it was so crappy you couldn't tell the difference but they weren't having it and little plava27 went home that day.
The Center Ring....
Not a teacher but in middle school we got an assignment in art class to draw a still life of fruit. I thought the idea was totally boring and decided to put a creative spin on it. I drew a bunch of different fruits all sitting in the seats of a colosseum watching an apple kill an orange in the center ring. I failed the assignment, and my teacher even pulled me out in to the hallway to tell me directly that she didn't like me or the work that I produced. Didn't let that crush my dream though, and I kept making my assignments weirder and weirder to piss her off.
The 9th....
studying hand-made GIF by Philippa Rice
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In 9th grade as an end of the year project we could basically draw whatever we wanted and we had a week to do it. Me being the little car nerd I am drew the entire drivetrain and suspension of a chevy K5 blazer.
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Intruder
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2
Open Range Running GIF by Reconnecting RootsGiphyUncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42
Scared Woods GIF by Brat TVGiphyA near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- Applesintheorchard
Dog Bouncing GIF by AFV PetsGiphyHad no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy Hours
Fail Just For Laughs GIFGiphy"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
kirkl3s
You're Out!
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
kennsing75
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
DaniTheLovebug
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
HighlyOffensive10
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
Bromelia_and_Bismuth
I'm Hungry
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
stinky_cheese33
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
thedankbank1021
Too much stress...
Jim Carrey Omg GIFGiphy"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
TomoyoHoshijiro
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Too
will birth control GIFGiphy"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
this_is_lune
Hard Hours
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
Clingitty
Green Thumbed
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
kjhvm
Heartless
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
Zfullz
No Fun Involved
Angry Neil Flynn GIFGiphy"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
SubiWhale
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
GIF by VIASWEATGiphy"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
rachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
Happy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
Black Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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